Warning: this blog may bore you if are not a metal dork.
Current mood: bummed
Category: Music
This may not come a surprise, but Metallica is my all time favorite band. Which is why I feel compelled to rant about what I have just seen.
I started really appreciating Metallica in 1996, which is a shame because that is when their music started going down hill, fast, with their release of Load. I had to live vicariously through my uncle, who had seen Metallica tour with Ozzy in 86 (That was a dream tour!). 1986 was the year my favorite album was released, Master of Puppets. Too bad I was only 4 years old at the time and had no idea what metal even was. That same year Cliff Burton died and Metallica was never the same.
Just yesterday I was in the car listening to Master of Puppets, absorbing all of it's awesomeness, while my friends made fun of my taste in music from the back seat. But I am not ashamed. And even though Metallica is no longer the same band I loved, and I would never buy one of their last two albums, I still think they are one of the greatest bands that ever was.
But what I am about to show you is what really breaks my heart. Sure, Load and Re-Load were pretty awful, but I will take it over St. Anger any day. As far as I am concerned; Metallica died when Jason Newsted left the band. But I kept my hopes high when I found out they were in the studio recording another album. Metallica is my abusive boyfriend that I keep going back to, hoping he will stop punching me in the face, hoping this time it will be different. But it never is.
Their new single is The Day That Never Comes. Just when you didn't think it could get any worse:
Ugh! Where do I even start?
Although James Hetfield is still one sexy motherfucker in my eyes, his vocals are seriously lacking. He used to be a fucking animal! Now he sounds like a little girl compared to his old vocal style. What happened? Can is just be old age?
And Lars! He is my favorite drummer next to Grohl and Bonham, but really??? The drumming on this song is so weak.
Even though the guitar riffs bring tears to my eyes (tears of agony) I will still say that Kirk Hammet is amazingly talented. No one can take that away from him.
The song is laughable. Forget calling it metal.
But what is even worse is the video itself! Who directed this piece of shit?? Who styled it?? Cast it? Seriously, everything about this video is just wrong. Maybe I am just being harsh because I work with the military and I know what these kind of interactions would actually look like. But come on! The acting is ridiculous and the actors look far too stylish. There is nothing organic or believable about it.
Some may say "relax, it's just a music video", but I believe that music videos are like mini-movies and should be taken seriously. This is just another example of American Pop-culture devaluing art. Art (in music, film, and any other medium) is on the decline and becoming extinct.
If producers and managers can make my favorite band and giant disappointment, they can do it to anything. Has anyone seen the film Idiocracy? Our TV's will soon be full of ad's and shows like "Ow, my balls". We are getting one step closer everyday, which brings me to my next topic.... the 2008 election..........
...And it's not as bad as I expected. Though it is 8:30pm now and I am pretty fucking beat.
Idaho has been interesting thus far. It's nice to have a break from LA but I must admit I do miss it. I'm enjoying my stay at the Holiday Inn in Boise with my two favorite lesbians :)
So many ridiculous thing have happened and so many amazing jokes have been made.
Idaho is really hot and dusty. Every time I'm on the base I'm worried about badger attacks or contacting the untreatable, deadly, hantavirus. But besides those fears, and being sexually harassed, the base isn't too bad. We have AC in our tents, it doesn't work well but it's better than nothing. We have made some seriously bad ass and realistic special effects pieces. I'm impressed by our awesomeness. So is everyone else on the job.
Oh and if you want to get little blurbs about my travels you can look me up on Twitter.com.
In other news i haven't smoked since i left LA. It's not as rough as I thought it would be, but at the same time it kind of really sucks. But I think I can make it through the month. It will b e well worth it.
When i get back to LA I am not 100% certain I will go back to waiting tables. I have a potential job coming up at the beginning of September in NYC, and another in October in Niagra Falls. If these dates get booked I am definitely not going back to waiting tables. It will be hard to get that much time off from work and I will be making amazing money so there is kind of no point.
Ok well i am exhausted and I don't really have much else to report.
Hey friends! I haven't conversed with many of you in quite some time. The reason being....I have been working NON STOP. So here is a little update, incase you were curious...
Alyssa and I have been doing loads of pre-production work for the Idaho job. We leave on Monday. I have been sleeping at her house for about a week and a half now. My dog is really loving it there because Alyssa has 3 small dogs to play with, and Whitney also has 2 chihuahua's.
Oh but before I leave I am going down to San Diego to perform at Comic-con. Because I am insane. Is it possible for me to cram any more crap into my already packed schedule??
Tomorrow is my last day in town before I head to San Diego. I will be spending my day buying apple products (the new iphone 3g and a 15" macbook pro), which I am highly excited about. I will also do laundry, pack, and clean my apartment. REALLY EXCITING STUFF. Normally I would be lazy and leave my place a mess but a friend of mine just broke up with his girl friend and will be subletting from me. I'm glad they broke up because now I can save money. Is that selfish??
Saturday night we are having a "going away" party. Yeah sure, we will only be gone for 25 days but who doesn't love to party? If anyone wants to come, feel free to give me a call for the deets.
In other awesome news, I quit M Bar tonight! One step closer to never waiting tables again!! I have decided that I will keep doing these makeup jobs which cause me to travel every other month. Yes, I will be missing L.A. a lot of the year but I won't have to wait tables anymore.
I feel like waiting tables can be so fucking demeaning sometimes. It's pathetic to stand around an empty restaurant for hours, with 5 other servers, kissing ass for a measly five dollars per table. Or busting your ass all shift to go home with 65 bucks. I'm over it.
Ok, time for another pointless blog to come to an end. My brain is crapping out.
Just some self indulgent bragging...
Category: Life
I feel so fortunate right now. Things seem to be falling into place after years of hard work and contemplation. I have friends who are generous and helpful instead of jealous and competitive. I think I finally have an idea of what direction my life is going. I thought it was going to take me a few more years to figure out what path I wanted to go down. But right now, all the piece are fitting into place like a beautiful towering stack of jenga block (because we all know how much I enjoy jenga).
Allow me to boast:
Louis & Keely blows up more and more every week. In this Sunday's LA Times there is an article about Vanessa and her struggle to accomplish getting this show produced. Along with that article will be a photograph, which I styled.
My August job in Idaho started pre-production. I spent the day drinking beer and making fake body parts with Alyssa. I can't express how much I love doing this stuff. This all kind of happened by accident. I wasn't sure if makeup was what I was supposed to be doing. I changed my focus from horror and gore to fashion and beauty, to not being sure what I wanted to do. But I am learning so much already on this job that I really think I should go back to horror. This job is going to become my full time job within a few months. I will be traveling 20 days at a time, 10 times per year, all over the country. I estimate that by this time next year I will no longer be waiting tables. And I don't even have to waste money on going back to school.
Yesterday I shot my first commercial, as an actress. I can't spill the beans about what for yet (because it's top secret!) But as soon as it airs (if I am not cut out of it) I will be posting it here in m'blog. I am now SAG eligible and Taft-Hartley.
Because of this commercial I have a really good chance of getting signed by a friends commercial agent. Which will allow me to book more jobs and make extra money while I am in town between makeup gigs.
Then today at Waffle one of our regulars (who unbeknown to me is a big commercial and music video director) asked me to be in a music video this Sunday. I am calling tomorrow for the details.
I do have to say this though, I AM NOT BECOMING AN ACTRESS. I enjoy acting but I only consider it a hobby. The odds of becoming a full time actress in this city are slim to none. I don't want to put myself through all the stress of that struggling lifestyle. So if I get jobs that I don't have to work that hard for then that is awesome.
So yeah, that's pretty much all I have to brag about. Sorry about all the self-absorption. But I just had to put all this good news in writing to believe this is actually my life, and to also look back at it the next time I feel like my life is sucking.
The only thing missing from my life now is a man who will sing me "Lady" by Styx. I'm kind of obsessed with this scene from Freaks and Geeks right now:
Sacred Fools (at Heliotrope and Melrose) is on fire right now! And I don't mean literally becasue that would be sad. In fact we are getting an new AC system put in this week which means that it will stop FEELING like it is on fire on those brutally hot days.
Anyway, we have a lot of really amazing stuff going on lately and I would like to pimp some of it here on my blog.
This Saturday at 11pm is the last show of our Serial Killers season. I am in TWO serials this weekend; The Afterschool Specialists and Battleschool: YUKI!! Come see me play a crazy ass homeless person and a killer schoolgirl. It's only $5!!
I am also producing a show called Flawedville with the Freakshow Deluxe the 1st weekend in August. I will be playing the villan so you should totally come check that out as well.
And last but not least, Louis and Keely becomes a bigger hit every fucking day. I am so insanely proud of Vanessa and everyone else who worked on the production. I will be at the show tonight helping her with quick changes. Seriously, read this article from the LA Times:
'Louis & Keely: Live at the Sahara'
The small Sacred Fools Theater leaves the actors no room for error. Jake Broder and Vanessa Claire Smith are more than up to the challenge.
By David Ng, Los Angeles Times Staff Writer June 27, 2008
They may not look much like Louis Prima and Keely Smith, but the two actors channeling the famous lounge duo at the Sacred Fools Theater are so good that you're bound to forget they're not the real thing, at least for 90 minutes.
That's how long it takes for Jake Broder and Vanessa Claire Smith -- remember those names; they ought to be famous if there's justice in this world -- to work their way through the showbiz couple's courtship, marriage and breakup.
"Louis & Keely: Live at the Sahara" is a simple biographical story told with infectious retro pizazz. It's also one of the best musicals playing in town.
Told in a hallucinated flashback as Prima lies comatose in a hospital bed, the show picks up in the late 1940s when the King of the Swingers first encounters the ingénue Keely at an audition. She lands a part as a singer in the band just as Prima is about to move to Las Vegas to set up shop at the Sahara.
What separates "Louis & Keely" from jukebox musicals like "Jersey Boys" and "Mamma Mia!" is its scaled-down simplicity. The intimate size of the Sacred Fools space forces the actors to focus their voices and performances with ruthless precision. You can't fake it when you're singing that close to the audience. Together, the leads perform 17 numbers and nail each one.
Playing Prima with boundless energy, Broder captures his character's obnoxious off-stage personality while suggesting that his faults were integral to his on-stage appeal. Broder's athletic mimicry is a real hoot to watch and he looks as if he loses 10 pounds just bouncing around the stage. Equally good, Smith brings a stand-offish hostility to her character that defrosts exquisitely when she performs songs such as "That Old Black Magic" or "I've Got You Under My Skin."
"Louis & Keely" tracks the usual showbiz ups and downs rather mechanically (the lead actors also wrote the script). But it's easy to forgive the cliches when there's so much musical mayhem to distract you. The live, seven-member band plays with gregarious showmanship. And director Jeremy Aldridge synthesizes it all into one shiny package. This is musical theater at its most rousing and entertaining. Go twice.
Next week looks like I may actually have free time. I can't even believe it. I think it might be too good to be true.
Lots of thing happened this week.
Sunday night I lost my wallet at the arclight. Total bummer. I have to wait 2 weeks for a new photo ID. The worst part is I lost it seeing a terrible movie. No one should pay to see The Happening. The idea of a film about suicide sounds amazing and frightening in theory but it was so lack luster. Though I will say it did to it's job of at least being entertaining.
Monday night I ate at La Buca Osteria on Melrose for Tracy's birthday. I highly suggest trying it out. The food was delicious and affordable. And they didn't even charge us a cork fee for bring our own wine.
Tuesday night I am glad I had to work so I didn't have to see the Lakers get their asses handed to them by those jerky Celtics.
Wednesday night I went to see Rilo Kiley at the Greek with some of my favorite peeps. The show was fantastic, despite the shortness of their set. Apparently no show at the Greek can ever go past 11pm. So that was a bit of a bummer but the show itself was beautiful and moving. It really reminds me that I need to get my ass in gear when it comes to creating Music.
Thursday night Jewel and I had a photoshoot with our Trophy. I can't wait to see how the photos came out. Then I had to rush back to Hollywood to have my first band rehearsal. It was short and sweet. I am excited to create original music as well as make some covers my own.
So I made my decision tonight that I am taking the Idaho job. I will be gone for most of August, but The Waffle is going to hold my job for me. I am signing a contract this week. For about 20 days I will be surrounded by lots of men who are not as smart as my cell phone. This is scary and humors all at once. But I will be with Alyssa and we will make one bad ass team.
Ok, yet another pointless blog. I need to start writing just when I have something important to say and not just when I am bored.
Despite all of the bad luck is seem to encounter on a daily basis, things are pretty awesome.
Let's start with the un-lucky first so we can get it out of the way.
- I was rear ended right before I left for Vegas. The driver has no insurance. I hate illegal immigrants. My neck is back to feeling terrible again. I was too busy this week to do anything about it. Next week is all about my car. - Someone I worked with owes me $530 and is refusing to pay me. I can't pay my rent until I get it.
OK now that all that shit is out of the way...how about the good??
+ Kelly and I won Miss Exotic World. So for all of 2008 we are the best burlesque duo in the world. Pretty fucking awesome. Many photos to come when I have time.
We make gross faces as we fight over the trophy. The way I'm bending makes my torso look weird.
+Kelly and I have people interested in bringing us to London to perform.
+I brought my brother to the Playboy club at the Palms for his birthday. His new nickname is "Bro Bardot" according to Mig and Kelly. We were doing the Seth Rogan "shoot the dice" dance all night. It was a lot of fun.
+ I'm officially offered the job in Idaho for 20days this August. Now I just have to decide if I'm really going to do it.
+ I am directing my first serial this Saturday at Sacred Fools. I have never directed so I am nervous. I really despise failing, but I'm usually pretty good at most things I try. Come vote for it so we can come back next week! That is...if it's funny. I don't see how Ninja Detectives could disappoint.
+ I still love my job at the Waffle. A ton of my co-workers are coming to my show at the El Cid tonight. I feel so loved lately.
+ Vanessa, Carrie, and Jenelle surprised my by having a wine and hot tub party in celebration for my win at Exotic World. My friends warm my cold, cold heart :)
In conclusion, the good outweighs the bad, even though the bad is pretty shitty. My life is pretty unreal sometimes.
PS. Those of you I have not spoke to recently, or have flaked out on at all, please know it is not personal and I am insanely busy. I love you all and I promise to be around a lot more come mid month.
In the place where i have what it takes
Category: Life
Well I leave for Miss Exotic world on Friday. I should be working on my costume but instead I'm getting stoned and blogging. What a surprise right?? Ok well I thought I would take this time to discuss some random topics.
A.) I LOVE the lady love. I can not express how happy I am to have soo many amazing women in my life. This month has been all about the vagina. Get ready for sub catagories... a.) We took a vagtastic voyage to Big Bear almost 2 weeks ago. It was quite glorious. I am so happy to be with positive, smart, funny women that I can totally be myself around. And as strange and quirky as I am they love me. And I love them even more. b.) 5 women and a gay man went to see Sex and the City opening day. Yes, the film had some flaws but SATC was my favorite show EVER and I loved it. It was 2.5 hours of bliss for me. I was even close to tearing up at times which is so unlike me. I will see it again for the costumes alone. c.) Miss Exotic World is going to be a pow-wow of women that understand what being a woman is all about. I can't wait. Though I admit I am starting to get nervous.
B.) Spray tanning. I tried it for the 1st time ever so I don't look pasty on stage. I must say it looks pretty fucking good. In about 5 minutes and $35 later, you can have an even glowing tan and it won't even give you cancer.
C.) I think all men have selective, hearing, vision, and memory. I notice this more and more every day. It's like they only see what they want to see. They ignore the positive and accentuate the negative. This goes for all men wether it be your boss, you father, brother, boyfriend, best-friend, etc.
D.) Louie and Keeley is a smash hit. It's true. We got LA Weekly's pick of the week by Steven Lee Morris. We also got a great review on EDGE online. Variety is coming this week.. I am so proud of Vanessa. She has been writing this script for over 2 years and has been dying to play Keeley Smith. Her plans for the show is to get it produced in Vegas. More and more I can visualize this dream coming true for her. Now, if we can only get the lead character to finally wear the jacket he is supposed to be wearing...
E.) It's not a belt, It's not a purse. It's like a fannypack but cooler. Or not as cool, depending on your love for fannypacks. It's kind of like a black leather utility belt. It has a pocket that fit's my cell phone perfectly. I don't need to carry a purse if I don't want to. It pretty much rules.
F.) I'm no sure where all of this is going and I'm getting bored. So I think I'll just stop writing. Stay tuned.
Shit has been super insane. Here are the cliffsnotes...
-My mom came to town for the 1st time ever and got her first tattoo. -Big bear was amazing. I stole a baby jesus (long story) -I may have grown back my love for Marlboro menthol lights. -Louie and Keely opens tomorrow night. I have been so busy with work, costume stuff, and Miss Exotic World that I had no time to think about bringing a date to the opening, so I am flying solo. -My sewing machine is going to cost $190 to fix - I can not wait for it to be June. I am so over May.
bummed
