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Thursday, May 29, 2008
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Tuesday, May 27, 2008
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Monday, May 19, 2008
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Open Your Eyes, Emma Kelly
Kidd wrote this as a surprise for me before Emma Kelly was born. Josh Hoge performed it after Taylor Hicks refused. I think Josh was the better choice anyway, don't you??
http://www.kiddlive.com/mp3Player/tracks/HOGE.mp3
7:04 PM
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20 Comments - 37 Kudos
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Wednesday, May 14, 2008
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Sunday, May 11, 2008
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Sunday, April 27, 2008
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delicious word of the day -- magenta
I have not cheated on my diet and I just wrapped up day 10! Believe me, I am tempted!! I am REALLY tempted! I've been to a birthday party for twin one-year-olds, a Passover seder, a birthday dinner for my mother, and a sip-and-see for Amy's new baby girl and I never faltered. I am so proud of myself I could spit!
I went walking for 30 minutes tonight all by myself — just me and my iPod. And it was fantastic. I kept skipping over to all the songs that made me feel like strutting my stuff, and that's exactly what I did. I WAS Stevie Nicks. I WAS Beyonce. I WAS Alanis Morissette. And I was FABULOUS! I visualized myself on a catwalk — on a stage — dancing down the aisle — running in slow motion on the beach. It was a complete out-of-body experience and I loved it. I hope for more of those.
I don't know if there IS a perfect age, but I'm starting to think Emma Kelly has reached it. Eighteen months is just the BEST! She is so fun and she hugs so hard and she just wants to kiss everything and it's just a perfect time in her little life right now. People keep telling me that we're entering the best of the best — from now until about 2nd or 3rd grade. Then I hear it's all pretty much downhill from there with little girls. I'm hoping they're all just teasing me or that we're going to be the exception to the rule. If she stays on this path and I miraculously don't manage to screw this up, I might be on the right track to raising a pretty amazing person.
XO
Kellie
7:36 PM
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5 Comments - 9 Kudos
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Thursday, April 24, 2008
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delicious word of the day -- bawitdaba
I have had 8 hours sleep……over the past two nights. I am so tired by the time I go to bed, but I just lie there and stare at the back of my eyelids or field drunken text messages from exes who are convinced — only when close to alcohol poisoning — that they are still in love with me. You'd be surprised how often that actually happens.
So I am tired. And I don't like diet Coke with Splenda. And I bought a freaking case of it to get me thru this diet and my gag reflex kicks in when I start to think about it. So no more diet Coke with Splenda. I will donate it to a good cause, though. I don't like cottage cheese with skim milk, either. Had that today. Bleh. I do like ground chicken breast made into burgers. I might just live off of them for a while. Those and boiled shrimp. These things I like. Diet Coke with Splenda? Avoid it. I'm not kidding.
By the way, I'm drinking Gold Standard 100% whey protein shakes in vanilla. I mix it with skim milk and find that it's best if I just gulp it down like the medicine it is. I also learned that you shouldn't take two of every herbal remedy to help alleviate what drinking 100% whey protein shakes obviously do to your system in one day. I paid for that today. Dearly.
Went to Kid Rock last night. Wasn't a big fan before. Liked a couple of his songs and thought he was all right. But WOW! I really like him! His show is absolutely filthy and if he had to put a quarter in the cuss jar for every bad word he screamed, he would go through his massive rock star fortune in no time. But Uncle Daddy was in hog heaven and it was cute to watch. He seriously knows every single word to every single song ever recorded by Kid Rock. And he will prove it to you. Ask him.
I seriously have to go to bed now. It's 9:30 and Freddy is supposed to be in the studio with us tomorrow morning and he's pretty cute, don't you think? I'm going to have to get a good night's sleep so I can wake up early enough to shave my legs. The odds of him brushing across them at any point in the morning are slim to none, but you ladies know how it is…the minute you think you can get by without shaving, that's EXACTLY what's going to happen.
XO
Kellie
7:32 PM
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8 Comments - 14 Kudos
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Tuesday, April 22, 2008
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delicious word of the day -- melba
I gained a pound. It's all my fault. I thought I could guesstimate what 4 ounces of fish would look like and apparently I was way off. But! I'm not panicking. I'm doing so great otherwise. I think I've gotten past the hardest part, which was just learning to say no. Being skinny means living a life of constant denial. I think I heard Michelle Pfeiffer say that one day. Anyway, it's not like I'll NEVER get to have my mama's Mexican corn casserole again. I just can't have it NOW. I think what I'm learning is that I need to live my life in balance – mentally, physically, spiritually, intellectually. I don't think I've ever been able to pull that off before, but dang it! I think I can now! I've been reading that Eckhart Tolle book and I'll be honest, A LOT of that stuff is way over my head. It's one of those books where you find yourself reading the same paragraph over and over and over again and it still makes ZERO sense. But I read one sentence that leapt off the page at me and caused me to burst into tears — I am not the voice inside my head. I'm paraphrasing, but that's the idea. I am not the voice inside my head! It makes me want to cry right now just typing it!! That was truly a life-altering moment for me. But hey! I've still got a bet and potential tankini pictures hanging over my head, so I can deal with this diet thing for another 30 days — YES, I'M COUNTING! — and then I'll try to work on this whole concept of ridding myself of ego. I can't even explain what that means, but that seems to be what Eckhart is telling me to do. Hopefully I'll become more enlightened as I delve further into this book. Thanks, Oprah!
In the meantime, because I'm getting emails and MySpace messages and postings both positive and dreadful here, I'll tell you what I'm eating, basically. I have a protein shake every morning with skim milk. I eat a couple melba toasts and a piece of fruit mid-morning. I have lean protein and a pile of veggies at lunch. Another couple of fat-free saltines and another piece of fruit mid-afternoon. More lean protein and veggies at night. I'm not really hungry, but it's not even about that. It's about wanting something crunchy and salty in my mouth. I really crave that. And if I can conquer it in the next four weeks, I'll be in good shape for the long haul.
I am going to go zap a potential zit with my Zeno now.
XO
Kellie
7:41 PM
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9 Comments - 13 Kudos
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Sunday, April 20, 2008
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delicious word of the day -- yarmulke
I binged perfectly for two days and now I can proudly say, I have made it three days post-binge without cheating even once!! I am already a little bored with broccoli, but that's okay! I will figure out a way to mix things up enough to get me through this and I will stay on the path to victory! I admit that this diet thing is a HUGE pain in the butt. I had to go to Passover at a friend's house and eat nothing but 100-year-old eggs (it's a Jewish thing) and steamed asparagus. But I did it! And then I went to a birthday party for twin one-year-olds and ate nothing. I just had my bottled water and went home later to eat my boiled shrimp and broccoli. Ugh. Why did I buy so much broccoli???
I never thought the day would come when I would be excited about eating the 2 melba toast rounds I'm allowed for my afternoon snack. But I get freaking excited about 2 stinking melba toast rounds now! And I fully appreciate the intensity of a really good orange. I can't express to you the disappointment of knowing you're only allowed that one orange and you get a sucky one.
I didn't weigh myself after the binge days because I didn't want to fall into a huge depression over the scale, but I stepped up there this morning and I was down to 150. Yea! It's hard saying no to food when it's so beautifully tempting and displayed right out in front of you, but it's worth it to see the numbers go down on the scale. So far, so good.
My parents and I went to a friend's house for Passover and it was really great. My friends aren't the strictest Jewish people in the world and what may take some Jewish families three hours to sit through took us about 45 minutes, but it was still great experiencing something so spiritual and traditional and foreign to anything we've grown up with. And Daddy looked cute in his purple yarmulke! And that's important, too, right?
Today I went out and bought a lounge chair so I can get out in the back yard for a few minutes every day and try to put some color on these whitey-white legs of mine. There's a reason everybody's all pale and white in their "before" pictures. They want to look as awful as possible and no exposure to sunlight seems to do the trick. But I'm not going to be that sickly pale girl in a tankini again this year!! I will have some color on my body! I'm not sure if it will be tan or red, but it will be color, dang it!!
I just took two Benadryl because of a bad allergic reaction to something in the air. My eyes are puffed up like red satin pillows and they itch like fire. I'm going to go to bed now and hope this wears off by tomorrow morning.
XO
Kellie
8:08 PM
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10 Comments - 18 Kudos
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Thursday, April 17, 2008
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delicious word of the day -- gossipmonger
I guess you would call this day two of my diet, although the first two days consist of bingeing. I've always known how good I am at bingeing, but when I've actually been INSTRUCTED to do so? Man! I have amazed myself!! I have literally made myself ill from all I managed to cram in my face. I ended day one with four Tums and a glass of diet Pepsi, trying to induce a full-body burp. I will continue to binge today, although without as much gusto. I will just enjoy the things I have to deny myself over the course of the next 10 weeks. That will be things like coffee, maybe a peanut butter cup ice cream cone from Braum's, a frozen Lean Cuisine…Oh! And martinis and birthday cake!! That'll be supper.
I started rubbing those creams in my arms this morning. I bought my protein shake powder that I have to start taking tomorrow and I need to go grocery shopping today to get ready for the big day. I'm super excited and dreading it at the same time. My mother is furious with me for doing this. She's upset that I agreed to to this bet in the first place and worried about my physical and mental health. She's been with me my whole life and she's seen what I've struggled through — or at least the parts I allowed her to see. This body image thing is such a horrible thing. I've dealt with it since junior high, and I could cry for all the years wasted worrying over it. But it's not so easy to just snap your fingers and say, "I've conquered it! I love myself and I'm happy with my body and I will never be self-conscious again!!" I wish I could pinpoint where it all started, but I don't think it was any one thing. And I can see where she's coming from as a mom because I don't want Emma Kelly to go through the torture that I've put myself through. That's why I have to conquer this once and for all. I'll look to books, I'll look to God, I'll look within myself, but right now, I'm looking at the prospect of having tankini pictures being posted on the internet. Just let me get past this hurdle and then I'll work on the mental and the spiritual stuff.
So my parents are flying in tomorrow for a 10-day visit. I guess it's time for them to meet Uncle Daddy! I can't WAIT to see how they all get along! It'll finally give me something to blog about other than my diet. That's a good thing!
XO
Kellie
7:59 AM
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6 Comments - 11 Kudos
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