WE WILL BEAT THE ODDS
Current mood: excited
Category: IN LOVE Writing and Poetry

1:54 PM - 1 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

TIME TO SHOW HER
Current mood: determined
Category: Writing and Poetry

I trust her completly

11:56 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

LEARNING
Current mood: rejuvenated
Category: Writing and Poetry

never learned to walk away or turn the other cheek

Always standing up trying to prove I wasn't weak

Wanting to be known as tough

Making sure I didn't put up with useless stuff

Thinking and projecting that I was hard

Only thing I got was bruised and scarred

Never learned to back down

Couldn't let anyone see anything but my frown

Wanted to be left alone

Thinking I had grown

I only hurt me

I was being blinded by my own stupidity

I didn't learn to walk away

It cost me so much and I must pay

I am not tough nor am I hard

No longer do I care so I am dropping my guard

I may be soft but I am not weak

Maybe I wont always turn the other cheek

But at least I am learning

And my luck, and my life is turning

Admitting my weaknesses and admitting that I was a fake

Are the first steps that I had to take

Learning that I had turned out to be everything I hated

My whole thought process was out dated

So now I know and I am not scared

And I am being repaired

Going away is all the shame and all the guilt

Leaving behind the mask and façade that I built

Tearing down the walls that I constructed

Letting people in and learning they can be trusted

Learning to walk away and let things go

Learning not to get upset by things out of my control

6:26 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

a rant about fake people
Current mood: aggravated

Somebody, please explain to me where the fuck all these punks, goths, vampires and alternative have come from?? Where the hell were they when it was uncool to look this way, when we were called faggots and freaks? and i dont mean the people younger than 30 etc.. but all of the sudden all these fucks are saying they are into punk and alternative etc, where were they in the 80s?? oh yeah, they were the jocks and preps and rednecks that were laughing at us and starting fights when we were alone and they were in a big group. fucking cowards!!!

i am so tired as well of the people who say "I am one way during the day and this way at night", now i understand some of us have professional jobs. but i remember a song by SOA it went "They wear chains and they wear leather, they wear boots in any weather, never dress up for shows look this way when they are home"... i grew up with that in my head, maybe thats my problem, never have i tried to hide what i am.... never faked anything.... now it seems everyone is a punk, alternative, goth or wanna-be vampire.. god damn it get a clue, THE FVK is coming after you....

what happened to the real people?!? where did we all go? is it just the people that i have reconnected with that are real??

oh yeah and i finally figured out there is no more street justice... too many little pukes like to call the police and get a lawyer... i need to learn to walk away... just leave shit alone.......

9:03 PM - 1 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

THERE IS NO HAPPY EVER AFTER
Current mood: crushed
Category: Writing and Poetry

Look what we have become

I cant believe what I have done

No one told us how to forever live ever after

How to handle it when there is no more laughter

And everything becomes mundane

When boredom starts turning to pain

All you hear is they lived happily

Yet no one shows the rest of the story

There isn't a book of that offers one instruction

So we both became lonely and full of self destruction

Took things the wrong way

Went haywire and from each other we went away

We tried to learn we tried to communicate

But the words were lost and now she feels its too late

What do you do when you destroy what you love most

God I thought through life we would just coast

Wake up together and grow old together

Watch our kids prosper

But no one told us how hard

And there isn't really a white picket fence around every yard

Now looking back everything just seems

Like we were mislead and lies are our dreams

So much hope was once had

How and why did we let it turn out so bad

We were filled with such promise

How we let this happen is anyones best guess

We both had so much happiness

Why did it have to turn into regret, pain and sadness

There isn't happily ever after, its all a damn lie

9:02 PM - 0 Comments - 1 Kudos - Add Comment

the world is beating me
Current mood: depressed
Category: Writing and Poetry

8:59 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

does this make sense?
Current mood: grumpy
Category: Writing and Poetry

Now that she has said shes over me and its done

How am I to move on and will there ever be another one

Who is going to hold me up when I am about to fall

Am I going to be able to turn to anyone when I need to call

Will anyone ever love me

Is anyone ever going to accept me

Who or what do I turn to

I really don't believe we are through

I don't see it in her eyes that I am not the one

As much as she wants me to believe its done

I am sorry I expected too much that I expected more

And that I thought she could express her feelings and not hide behind a door

She hid behind a mask

I was not up to the task

She thinks she didn't help me

And her heart is broken already

While mine has only begun to break

I feel like this is much more than I can take

And it really feels like no one is around that no one understands

She says that I have had unreasonable demands

She doesn't want to see my fear

I try to cry but neither eye will make a tear

No one knows how I am so scared

With another will I ever be paired

So afraid of myself right now

Don't know what I am capable of now

Will she return after I let her go

There is only one way to ever know

I feel done

I feel that there is no more fun

She is and was my everything

I really fear what the future is going to bring

Worshiped her I did and worship her still

Her point is made, but it feels like shes going for the kill

She says I think lowly and poorly of her

That is so far from the truth  and I have tried to tell and show her

I hold her in the highest

I think of her in the highest

She doesn't want to see it anymore

She doesn't want to hear it anymore

She said shes immune and numb

And blames me for it being done..

8:56 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

DONT SAY ITS TOO LATE
Current mood: cold
Category: Writing and Poetry

Don't say its too late

Its never too late

We have so much together

We built so much together

Our love can thrive

Our love will survive

We are made for each other

We are more than another lover

Cant you see your all I ever wanted

Wont you see your all I ever needed

You make me feel home

You make me stop feeling alone

I have so much love to give

My heart is gold and to you I want to give

I can give you so much joy and so much happiness

If only you would let me, I know I made a mess

I know I have done wrong

And I know that hurt is so strong

Right now it is and it feels powerful

Right now it seems so unbearable

All of what we have done is in the past

And that's where it should stay even though its not going away fast

If you would open up to once again to me

I can help eliminate all the misery

I have so much more to offer

If you will let me in again no longer will you suffer

We can put it behind us and go on stronger

Just give me the opportunity to go longer

We can burn it all

Burn all the past and stop the fall

Please stop saying its too little too late

This is not, there is no way this is to be our fate

2:15 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

IF ONLY YOU WOULD
Current mood: frustrated
Category: Writing and Poetry

If only you would let me in

If only you could once again

I can show and you can trust

I can prove that I wont bust

I am great and deep down you know

If only you would allow me to show

I am done with hurting you and self hate

If only you would stop trying to convince yourself its too late

Its never too late, better late than never

Please don't cut the ties don't sever

If only you could I would

If only you could you will understand you should

I swear I wont do you wrong

I have loved you all along

If only you will

If only you know I can still

I can still give you everything

I can give you more I can give you anything

If only you can release the past

Then the hurt wont last

The past is over its done

Let me help pick up the each and every piece of the crumb

I can put that gleam back

I can stay on the right track

If only you will allow me

If only you will trust me

Once I was your knight

Now you don't want to put up the fight

Once I was the one and only

Now you have some one new and it is me lonely

If only you can stop and take a breath

If only you would admit that there is so much love left

If only you weren't afraid

Then this dangerous game we wouldn't have played

If only you would admit

If only you could see that I am fit

Please lets take a break

We have so much at stake

If only you could believe me when I tell you I wont break your heart

If you only would restart

If only you would then I could

2:13 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

MOURNING A LOSS
Current mood: depressed
Category: Writing and Poetry

not only have i a lost a wife

12:19 PM - 1 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment