In Memory of my dad

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My brother posted this it says it all    In memory of my father

This was a poem my sister read at my dad's funeral.  I miss him very much and now I see that he did more than just raise us kids.  He was the very stitch in the delicately woven fabric that is my family.  I just hope someday I will make as much of an impact on one person's life as he did on everyone he knew.  I love you Dad, and I will see you again someday, and at that moment I will cry the last tears I ever cry for you.  Tears of joy.            When Tomorrow Starts Without Me When tomorrow starts without me, and I am not there to see, If the sun should rise and find your eyes all filled with tears for me. I wish you wouldn't cry the way you did today while thinking of the many things, we didn't get to say I know how much you love me as much as I love you and each time that you think of me, I know you'll miss me too But when tomorrow starts without me, please try to understand, That an angel came and called my name and took me by the hand And said my place was ready in heaven far above and that I'd have to leave behind all those I dearly love But as I turned to walk away, a tear fell from my eye for all my life, I'd always thought I didn't want to die I had so much to live for, So much left yet to do, It seemed almost impossible that I was leaving you. I thought of all the yesterdays the good ones and the bad I thought of all the fun we shared, and all the fun we had If I could relive yesterday, just even for a while I'd say good-bye and kiss you and maybe see you smile But then I fully realized that this could never be, for emptiness and memories would take the place of me. and when I thought of worldly things, I might miss come tomorrow, I thought of you, and when I did, My heart was filled with sorrow. But when I walked through heaven's gates I felt so much at home. When God looked down and smiled at me, From His great golden throne, He said, "This is eternity and all I've promised you. Today your life on earth is past, but here life starts anew. I promise no tomorrow, but today will always last, and since each day's the same way there's no longing for the past. You have been so faithful, so trusting and so true. though there were times you did some things You knew you shouldn't do. But you have been forgiven and now at last you're free. so won't you come and take my hand and share my life with me?" So when tomorrow stats without me,, don't think we're far apart, for every time you think of me, I'm right here, in your heart. No matter how far away you are Dad, I know you are watching over me.  I just hope that I can still make you just as proud of me now, as I did when you were here.  It would be nice to see your smile when I have done something right, but it's better to know that where you are now, you don't feel the pain you were feeling when you were here with us. I love you Dad.

6:04 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

My Singles Ad

Hi there,

I'm seeking a like-minded woman to share a disastrous 3-9 month relationship with, ending in acrimony, emotional chaos, and possibly legal proceedings.

My name is Kris, I live in Oklahoma City, I'm 30 years old, fairly well educated, I hold down a good job and am pretty stable. I'm told I'm fairly good looking, but I'll let you be the judge of that - I'm generally caring and very honest.

I am looking for an attractive female who will at first give me obsessive love, praise and devotion - but whose paranoia, self-loathing and fear of rejection and abandonment will eventually lead her to alternately push me away and pull me closer in a love/hate cycle that will lead to infidelity, consensual sexual violence, and the eventual emotional breakdown of one or other party - or if we're lucky - both!

You should:

* be 20 to 35 years old;
* have a history of short, intense, drama-driven relationships;
* enjoy degrading and dehumanizing sex;
* have undergone negative psychiatric evaluations in the past; and
* be willing to threaten self-harm and/or annihilation as a weapon to control your partner and make them stay with you and care for you.

Although not completely necessary, I would prefer women:

* with nice smiles;
* that have larger than average breasts;
* who are married or already in unstable relationships;
* that drink to forget; and
* who have had a previous established diagnosis of Borderline or Dependent Personality Disorder or Bi-Polar Affective Disorder - or who are currently taking Lithium Carbonate, SSRIs, or Tri-cyclic antidepressants

If you think you meet these requirements (and wow, I'm getting excited just writing them!), please don't hesitate to get back to me as soon as possible. In the meantime, thank you for reading my advert, and do take care.

All the best,

Kris

ps This advertisment is in recognition of the big neon sign on my forehead that everyone else can see except me.


Thanks to Brian for this one!!

4:55 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Solutions

MY Boy Bruce Said it best

The grass is always greener, we always want what we can't have, you don't know what you've got til it's gone, be careful what you ask for.....and sooo many other song titles....here are some thoughts....

For all of you that want that person that won't give you the time of day, have you ever thought to open your mind to the idea that this person may not be worth your time...or that there are only two types of people in any room...those waiting on someone, and those that have someone standing waiting on them. No one can make you feel bad without your consent. You have to let them. Whats bad, is that the people that have people waiting on them don't appreciate those who wait....and if you, by chance, are one of those inconsiderate people that do the whole"wait right here, I'll be right back" thing....DON"T.

Let me give you a few thoughts as to what NOT to do to put yourself in a bad position...

1. Girls, if you call a guy at 3 in the morning and say that you want to hang out, the guy hears "I want to have sex, are you busy?" not "I want to come watch the Notebook." Be realistic in what you're doing. And don't get pissed when the guy expects differently...He's a guy, not the Pope.

2. If you don't want this person to call you, DON"T GIVE THEM YOUR NUMBER!! If you give them your number there is a pretty good chance they are going to call it. and refer to ..7

3. If you are not interested in being with this person, don't call them at 2 when the club is gettting out just to make sure he/she is NOT going with someone else. This completely sends the wrong signal. If you don't want them...let someone else have them...you may be cock-blocking the most important relationship they are ever going to have.

4. Lying is lying...no matter how you slice it, or disect it, mask it or rationalize it...it's still LYING!!!! I'll call you tomorrow means that you are going to call them. Period. If you have NO INTENT, then don't say it. The "maybe, I might, probably, if your lucky, if I don't forget" It's all bullshit....Do it or don't say it. If you say your coming over at 6...be there @ 5:45...polite always works...no games, or fashionably late....be polite and do what you say you're going to do.

5. The drama in your life is important only to you, (and to a couple of your friends that have NO life)...everyone else is REEEEEAALLY tired of it. If you didn't put yourself in that position, you would'nt be there. And if you don't like where you are...CHANGE IT!!!

6. Playing a bunch of people may be fun for you but is alot like sprinting on a treadmill...gives you something to do but gets you nowhere...and evetually you will get tired of it. Be polite, this is what you were taught in kindergarten...Don't answer your phone, or text someone from someone elses place....GEEEZ!?! Do you really feel that that is a positive thing to do? How productive is that? the fact that you are or thought to be a "bitch" is not a compliment, I promise.

7. MOST IMPORTANT OF ALL... Alcohol is nothing more than a mood magnifier. Simply that, it can do nothing more than what you allow it to do...I you decide to sleep around or dance on the table or get naked in the pool, don't blame the drink...blame it on your inability to say NO, I shouldn't do that...or for doing something you wanted to do anyway. Even Patron doesn't have the power to make you do what you are inately unable to do....and if so, QUIT FUCKING DRINKING!!!!!!!!! If you have a problem or bad things seem to happen to you all the time, go to the core of the problem and remove it. Take responsibility for your actions as an adult...if, in fact, you are an adult.

For the most part, there are people out there looking....for friends, relationships, sex, money, acceptance, release, success, God, power, and love. You fall into one of these catagories....good luck in finding what you are looking for...I personnally hope you find it, as long as it is not at someone elses expense. Be nice, be nice, just be nice. If you are reading this, I appreciate your interest in what I have to say...you may not agree, but thats cool, you don't have to. If you feel that one of these were directed at you...investigate your life and determine whether they should be....no offence to anyone.

2:58 PM - 5 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment

Dear Alcohol

Dear Alcohol:


First and foremost, let me tell you that I'm a huge
fan of yours. My friend, you always seem to be there
when needed. The perfect post-work cocktail, a beer at
the game, and you're even around in the holiday's
hidden inside chocolates as you warm us when we're
stuck in the midst of endless family gatherings.
However, lately I've been wondering about your
intentions. While I want to believe that you have my
best interests at heart, I feel that your influence
has led to some unwise consequences:


1. Phone calls: While I agree with you that
communication is important, I question the suggestion
that any conversation of substance or necessity takes
place after 2 a.m. Why would you make me call those
ex-boyfriends/girlfriends when I know for a fact they
do not want to hear from me during the day, let alone
all hours of the night?


2. Eating: Now, you know I love a good meal, but why
do you suggest that I eat a taco with chili sauce,
along with a big Italian meatball and some stale chips
(washed down with WINE & topped off with a Kit Kat
after a few cheese curls & chili cheese fries)? I'm an
eclectic eater, but I think you went too far this
time.


3. Clumsiness: Unless you're subtly trying to tell me
that I need to do more yoga to improve my balance, I
see NO need to hammer the issue home by causing me to
fall down. It's completely unnecessary, and the black
& blue marks that appear on my body mysteriously the
next day are beyond me. Similarly, it should never
take me more than 45 seconds to get the front door key
into the lock.


4. Furthermore: The hangovers have GOT to stop. This
is getting ridiculous. I know a little penance for our
previous evening's debauchery may be in order, but the
3pm hangover mobility is completely unacceptable. My
entire day is shot. I ask that, if the proper
precautions are taken (water, vitamin B, bread
products, aspirin) prior to going to sleep/passing out
face down on the kitchen floor with a bag of popcorn,
the hangover should be minimal & in no way interfere
with my daily activities.


Alcohol, I have enjoyed our friendship for some years
now & would like to ensure that we remain on good
terms. You've been the invoker of great stories, the
provocation for much laughter, and the needed
companion when I just don't know what to do with the
extra money in my pockets. In order to continue this
friendship, I ask that you carefully review my
grievances above & address them immediately. I will
look for an answer no later than Thursday 3pm
(pre-happy hour) on your possible solutions &
hopefully we can continue this fruitful partnership.



Thank you, Your biggest fan



P.S. THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:

1. Innovative

2. Preliminary

3. Proliferation

4. Cinnamon



THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:

1. Specificity

2. British Constitution

3. Passive-aggressive disorder



THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN
DRUNK:

1. Thanks, but I don't want to have sex.

2. Nope, no more beer for me.

3. Sorry, but you're not really my type.

4. Good evening, officer. Isn't it lovely out tonight?

5. Oh, I couldn't. No one wants to hear me sing

1:14 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

DJ 101

OK, We all know that DJ's are the entertainment in clubs. DJ 's are musicians as well. We go to our gig JUST like bands do and play what people like and want to hear. DJ's Spin music that not ONLY do WE love, but what they CROWD loves too. Here are a few RULES that shoud be common sence to the crowd that shows up to your show's.

ALL DJ's FEEL FREE TO ADD MORE

1. NEVER come up and DEMAND the DJ to play a song, If you want a song to be played, ask and we'll TRY to get it on as soon as we can.

2. The DJ can be your best friend, but NEVER come up and expect us to play something because you "KNOW" us.

3. If the dance floor is jamming, NEVER come up and tell the DJ to play something that "We can dance too". Isn't it obvious...We ARE.

4. NEVER tell the DJ that if we play this song, you'll tip us. Tip first, then WAIT. A tip goes far, but NEVER guarantees a play.

5. LISTEN to what song is playing. There have been TOO many people who come up to me asking me to play what was playing at THAT moment.

6. KNOW what type of club you're at. If the DJ play's Electronic and some hip hop...don't ask for country.

7. NEVER send up your boyfriend/girlfriend/ugly friend to ask for a song, let's face it people, we're all human, we like to see and talk to and flirt with pretty people too.

8. IF THE DJ IS MIXING OR SCRATCHING....NEVER INTURRUPT HIM/HER!!!

9. We don't care if you know the owner or sleeping with him, you are just like everybody else. Ask NICELY and you'll get what you want.

10. REMEMBER!!! We are DJ's and LOVE to mix songs and give them a different vibe from your everyday radio mix. If you WANT to hear a song that isn't REMIXED and doesn't flow with the groove going on...go to your car/home and listen to the RADIO.

11. All Great DJ's KNOW what they're doing, if you're a DJ and JUST starting out....YOU DON'T KNOW EVERYTHING, you will ALWAYS be learning, no matter if you've JUST started or been doing it for 20 years...there's AWAYS something to learn. Show love to ALL DJ's

12. Not all manager's or club owner's KNOW what they are talking about when it comes to the mixes, NEVER go to the owner/manager to get the DJ to play a song...be a man/woman...ask the DAMN DJ.

13. NEVER threaten the DJ, if the DJ play's your song, great, if he doesn't, come back the next night, if he didn't play it, there HAS to be a reason.

14. Never bring your drinks around the equipment, let's face it people, our equipment is EXPENSIVE, you have the money to pay for your own...by all means, drink all you want around it.

15. DJ's make money just like you...we work HARD for it. We need to make money also, so NEVER ask a DJ to do a party for FREE!!!

16. PLEASE don't ask for something "with words in it". Stick around for I DON"T KNOW, ABOUT 30 SECONDS, and you'll realize that this song DOES infact have some words in it!

17. For all the artists, please do not bring the dj your cd at 12:30-1:00 am and expect it to get played the same night.

18.  Never ask for a song 5 times in a night.  If you want to aggrivate a DJ, that is how to do it.

4:00 PM - 4 Comments - 8 Kudos - Add Comment

Nice Guys

You might agree with it, but when it actually happens 99% of girls dont realize it till it is too late and that guy who did it is so frustrated that he has moved on to someone who will take notice.

From a guys point of view:

We don't care if you talk to other guys.

We don't care if you're friends with other guys.

But when you're sitting next to us, and some random guy walks into the room and you jump up and tackle him, without even introducing us, yeah, it pisses us off.

It doesn't help if you sit there and talk to him for ten minutes without even acknowledging the fact that we're still there.

We don't care if a guy calls you, but at 2 in the morning we do get a little concerned. Nothing is that important at 2 a.m. that it can't wait till the morning.
____________________________________________________
Also, when we tell you you're pretty/ beautiful/ gorgeous/ cute/ stunning, we freaking mean it.

Don't tell us we're wrong.

We'll stop trying to convince you.

The sexiest thing about a girl is confidence.
____________________________________________________
Yeah, you can quote me.
____________________________________________________
Don't be mad when we hold the door open.
Take Advantage of the mood im in.

LET US PAY FOR YOU!

DON'T "FEEL BAD"

We enjoy doing it.

It's expected.

Smile and say "thank you."
____________________________________________________
Kiss us when no one's watching.

If you kiss us when you know somebody's looking, we'll be more impressed.
____________________________________________________
You don't have to get dressed up for us.

If we're going out with you in the first place, you don't have to feel the need to wear the shortest skirt you have or put on every kind of makeup you own.

We like you for WHO you are and not WHAT you are.

honestly, i think a girl looks more beautiful when she's just in her pj's. or my tshirt and boxers, not all dolled up

____________________________________________________
Don't take everything we say seriously.

Sarcasm is a beautiful thing. See the beauty in it.

Don't get angry easily.
____________________________________________________
Stop using magazines/media as your bible.

Don't talk about how hott Morris Chesnutt, Brad Pitt, or Jesse McCartny is in front of us.

It's boring, and we don't care.
You have girlfriends for that.
____________________________________________________
Whatever happened to the word "handsome"/"beautiful"

I'd be utterly stunned by a girl who greeted me with "Hey
handsome!" instead of "Hey baby/ stud/ cutie/ sexy" or whatever else you can think of.

on the other hand im not sayin i woulndnt like it ether ; )
____________________________________________________
Girls, I cannot stress this enough:
IF YOU AREN'T BEING TREATED RIGHT BY A GUY, DON'T WAIT FOR HIM TO CHANGE. DITCH HIS SORRY, DISGRACE-TO-THE-MALE-POPULATION ASS, AND FIND SOMEONE WHO WILL TREAT YOU WITH UTTER RESPECT


Someone who will honor your morals.

Someone who will make you smile when you're at your lowest.

Someone who will care for you even when you make mistakes.

Someone who will love you, no matter how bad you make them feel.

Someone who will stop what theyre doing just to look you in the
eyes....and say "i love you" ...



....AND ACTUALLY MEAN IT!

Give the nice guys a chance

9:17 AM - 1 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment