NOTICE: Any use of the work I produce or post on this page is prohibited without permission from me, Kristy Tallman, the author. This includes portions of my writing or my writing in full length. Should this be found to be done by any persons, legal action will ensue by both myself and The Realm of Insanity Press

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Sunday, September 28, 2008 Why baby why....? Current mood: bummed Category: Writing and Poetry Why baby why....? Can you see into my eyes - see the strangeness that has forshadowed the once beautiful hues of blue - can you see into my heart - the one that aches for you - can you see the confusion I can't comprehend - can you? Why does my heart feel so bad? Why does my soul feel a million years old? Why does my tears flow? Can you feel the tenderness in my kiss - do you understand it? Do you know where you are taking me and how far away that is? Can you feel the silence that surrounds us where laughter used to - Can you feel the distance that I can't comprehend - can you? Why, tell me why - my heart feels so bad - why tell me why - my soul feels so alone? Why do these tears flow? I want to reach out and bring you back to me but I don't know how - I want to know everything is okay but all these tears can't mean that's the case. Why can't I feel your touch the way I used to? Why can't you touch me the way I need you to? Why baby why - please tell me why my heart hurts so bad - why baby why - can you let me know why there's a sorrow filling my soul? I need you, I love you, I want you, just like I have always done before - nothings changed yet nothing's the same - have you forgotten me? Have you forgotten to love me? Why baby why - I need to know - my heart hurts so - why baby why - don't you see into my soul - why baby why - why don't you notice - I'm feelin' so alone. copyright by Kristy Tallman - September 2008 2:43 AM - 3 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment Inside the Mirror Current mood: moody Category: Writing and Poetry Inside The Mirror She looked into a mirror wondering who she was – what she had become - was time taking its toll or was she just growing ancient - feeling old. She didn't see the beauty that used to glow whenever she stood there long enough to remember him the man she loved. She seen him every day but she knew he didn't see her. She was a distant shadow that once lit the room when she walked in. She was a sparkle in an eye that had grown cold and dim.   She stood there watching the tears reflect through the shattered glass of the mirror. Blood trickled down the jagged edges but she wasn't sure why. She reached up to wipe the tears from her eyes – everything was too blurry. Stains of red mingled with her tears, they came from her hands that were cut as she slammed them into the image she had become.   Anger filled her soul – she wondered where happiness had gone – she wondered how come he had forgotten her – she lay beside him every night hearing his breath, knowing if his heart missed a beat she would notice it,  but where was she? Who was she? Now the shadow that once lit the room standing before a bloodied mirror staring back at her. She wondered what was left – she began to rummage through the bloody cabinet.   Bottles of pills to lift her spirits, bottles of pills to take away her pain, bottles of pills to stop her from being afraid – she wondered as she remembered the feeling they once gave if she could just feel that way again. She emptied several different ones into her bloodied hand, turned the faucet on with the other, threw the pills back against the pain inside – hoping they would make her forget – make the pain go away - make her feel good again....   The children came home from school their mother laying in her bed, red stained sheets while their mother sleeps. Shhhh...they tiptoe away knowing she's probably had another bad day. They had no idea it was the last one she'd have.   Her husband came home to find the kids watching tv – "shhh..they told him - mom's alseep." He wondered why she was sleeping at this time – usually she was at her usual rituals of cooking dinner and getting homework done. He walked into the bathroom finding the jagged shards of glass drenched in blood, the bottles of pills spilled to and fro.....   A chill ran over him, the shadow walked through him, he was afraid to go into their room afraid of what he might find. – He proceeded cautiously down the darkened corridor where a lone candle had burned almost out, there lay his wife upon blood stained sheets seemingly sleeping peacefully – he went to her side brushed back her hair from her face, oddly she was smiling as he noticed she didn't breath.   She looked out from the mirror watching her death unfold noticing that not one tear fell from his soul, he worried about the kids and called her mom – called an ambulance, cleaned up the jagged shards of glass not knowing she saw him just as he had made her there in her shadow that lingered lost from the one she loved.   She looked out from the mirror wondering who she was – what she had become – was time taking its toll or was she just growing ancient - feeling old. She didn't see the beauty that used to glow whenever he used to notice her. She seen him every day but she knew he didn't see her. She was a distant shadow that once lit the room when she walked in. She was a sparkle in an eye that had grown cold and dim. Just as she had too long been. copyright by Kristy Tallman - September 2008 1:33 AM - 1 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment Tuesday, September 16, 2008 Are You Ready For Me?.... Current mood: fascinated Category: Writing and Poetry Are You Ready For Me?.... Candles light, flickers flame, divine delights wait - are you ready for me? Silk sheets ruffled on a unkempt bed, reminders of a nights dance where the lovers slept. Warm sensations energize the skin, a touch too much - do you feel the sin? Darkness covets the gentle breeze, white curtains, the moonlight's sheen against naked bodies..... Swirls of color dance in their minds, orgasmic emotions climb, shadows flicker against the walls - catch the moment when inhibition falls... Delicate kisses caress the lips, fall from the neck to her awaiting breast, beads of wetness form like drops of misty rain - are you ready to feel the pleaser - the pleasure of pain? Bodies in motion, spawning like fish in the shallows, entangled as one the birth of ecstasy comes - tell me - can you handle this? A kiss goodnight, adrift to sleep, bodies spent, lost in the sheets, through the sheen of the moonlight's penetration the bed ignites into a fiery passion too feverish to put out. Swirls of color, orgasmic emotions climb, a candle's light, flickers flame, dark desire awaits - but are you ready for me? © Kristy Tallman – September 2008 5:49 AM - 3 Comments - 6 Kudos - Add Comment Monday, September 15, 2008 A Distant Shimmer Lights Her Eyes Current mood: contemplative Category: Writing and Poetry A Distant Shimmer Lights Her Eyes   A distant shimmer lights her eyes, a glow from a time gone by, hidden softly behind the hues of blues that have consumed her heart.   She's happy to the world outside, but she cries in the silence of night. Her dreams are terrifying to most but to her they are just the norm, the same old hauntings that drift in and out through the corners of her forbidden mind.   Thoughts are not hers to hold, well she can - but only for a moment, it's not long though, not long enough, until she has to lift her arms up to the skies, letting go letting go - of the love she felt in the fleeting beat of a butterflies wings.   A distant shimmer of light echoes in her nights, a glow of hope, a ray of sunshine crossing the midnight skies. She feels his arms embrace her, as once they did before, She aches inside for the pain, the pain of making love.   She wants to feel alive, She wants to scream, She wants to walk out from the nightmare, and into a dream - the one, the one she can see, within a distant shimmer of light buried deep within her eyes, a glow from a time, a time gone by, hidden softly behind the hues of blues that have consumed her heart.   © Kristy Tallman – September 2008 2:13 AM - 2 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment Wednesday, August 20, 2008 One of These Mornings... Current mood: blessed Category: Writing and Poetry One of These Mornings.... One of these mornings, I will awaken to a new dawn, I will find you standing there, as beautiful as I knew you would be, You will be waiting there - waiting for me.   So long I've been waiting for you. Missing you, holding - so many questions in my heart just for you.   One of these mornings, I will awaken to hear your voice. It will sound as sweet as it always did - before.... one of these mornings... one of these mornings... one of these mornings.......   One of these mornings, I'll hold my arms wide open as I run into yours. I'll see you like it was the first breath you took, my tears will fall just as they did that day, and just as they did the day you took your last breath.   The pain runs so deep, I don't know how I've kept it so well hidden, but now I can't stop hurting, searching, for answers from a higher dawn. Its as if years haven't passed, as if its that horrible day all over again, except this time - this time I realize....   One of these mornings, I will cross over from pretending you're just away on some fancy trip, I will cross over from forgetting how much it really hurts, one of these mornings..... I will start mourning, I will feel the grief, I will cry rivers, I will feel the pain, the pain I pushed away.   One of these mornings I will awaken to a new dawn, in a new place where truth will set my heart free, where I will learn to cry, I will learn to grieve... I will learn to mourn for the daughter who had to leave. One of these mornings... mourning's... mornings... mourning's...   Yeah one of these mornings, I will awaken to a new dawn I will find you standing there, as beautiful as I knew you would be, you will be waiting there – waiting for me.   © Kristy Tallman, August 20, 2008   8:38 AM - 9 Comments - 12 Kudos - Add Comment Friday, June 27, 2008 To My True Friends and Fans... Category: Writing and Poetry I've changed this page to only support my work that is published and will be only posting on my new fans/friends only site (www.myspace.com/kristytallman). I'm fed up with being stalked by the Rusty Nail and her gang of merry dipshits so I'm closing all pathways that give them anything to speak of about me. I will be removing my works of poetry and anything else that I feel like to the other page as well. Friend request will be monitored closely and no one I am not familiar with will be welcome in my private world. Having the last laugh on a group of jackasses.... Much love, Kristy 10:25 PM - 11 Comments - 26 Kudos - Add Comment Wednesday, May 14, 2008 Crows On Cross Gets 5 Star Review From Midwest Book Reviews!!!!!! Current mood: ecstatic Category: Writing and Poetry One thousand miles apart. - Midwest Book Reviews, May 6, 2008 One thousand miles apart. Already quite the daunting task separating two lovers from one another. "Crows on the Cross" is their tale of them trying to find one another once more - but in their way are the ghosts and memories of their pasts, and as they try to draw closer and closer to one another, more horrors and revelations are unveiled to keep them from the bliss of each other's arms. "Crows on the Cross" is a deftly written psychological thriller sure to make the hair on the back of the reader's neck stand up with it's engaging plot and intriguing characters. "Crows on the Cross" is highly recommended for community library horror collections. 10:02 PM - 4 Comments - 6 Kudos - Add Comment Tuesday, May 06, 2008 This just says it all... Category: Writing and Poetry I think this is about the best reader review you can get for one of your books - this is what writing is all about! Just ordered Crows on the Cross. I have to admit, I am a little nervous about reading it. One usually expects the neatly tied up and loose ends and, hopefully not giving too much away, the happily ever afters. I'm still reeling from All Soul's Faire. It was like when I watched my first horror flick at a way too young age and I couldn't shake the shock of it, but still, morbidly, wanted more. I can't wait to see where this book takes me! Thanks and prayers to you and your family! Venom 7:29 AM - 5 Comments - 8 Kudos - Add Comment Special Auction Announcement Current mood: tired Category: Writing and Poetry Coming Soon - Authors/Artists/Musicians/Film Makers helping Bikers Against Hunger Auction! Will keep you posted on the details. Those wishing to donate items for the auction please ship to: Kristy Tallman PO Box 1119 Colonial Heights VA 23834 Please make sure your shipments are received by me no later than May 20th.All proceeds will be given to BAH once the auction is over. Brought to you in part by the NeXt Generation Writers. 12:09 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment Monday, May 05, 2008 Some thoughts and stuff... Current mood: contemplative Category: Writing and Poetry     Everything turned out okay with my hubby's MRI and basically we were set up by the waiting to worry over the unknown. That I suppose is the perfect measure for a good horror novel, but he found out he has some problems with his neck that needs to be seen by a Neurosurgeon. That's cool with me because it could be something much worse than just a possiblity of neck surgery. Yes I know it's the optimist in me who is thankful of such things but it's also the realist in me.     Last week I had sent out a prayer request to all my friends for two of my friends. Mae and Rachel's Family as they were going through some very trying times with one having the possiblity of cancer and the other having liver cancer.  Mae is going to be going through some testing in the coming weeks but I am sad to say that Rachel's brother-in-law did not make it. He passed away just yesterday. I know her family is pretty torn up by it as I know death too well but her BIL was only 34 years old. I had met him and talked to him a few times at the bus stop with my daughter and thought he was more in his mid 20's. I would have never guessed his age or that he would be taken so soon in life.     One thing about cancer is no matter whether you go quickly as he did or you go slowly as my father did it's a heart wrenching disease that almost every member of the family seems to have as their loved one has it. What I mean by that is, to watch them suffer or to stuggle inside we do just the same. We don't feel the physical pain they have but we literally feel pain inside for them. We feel as helpless as they do but we are fighting as hard as they are. My father down to the end fought his departure and only left once my mom went in and kissed him just because she wanted him to know she loved him. Not because she thought he was leaving us, the thought never occurred to her realistically that he was dying and it was in that kiss goodbye she came to know.     My mother in sense still fights my father's cancer, she still grieves over him to the point she had almost killed herself with alcohol after his death - slowly but it numbed the pain. She quit drinking and she is finally trying to live but now of course she struggles with her own illness.     I want to send out a special prayer for Rachel and her family today as I know how deeply their hearts are hurting. She's on my top friends list so maybe you could drop her a note and just let her know she's in your prayers. Her BIL is with the angels now and there's no more perfect place than heaven. I, having lost my daughter, believe with all my heart they are in a place where not only is there no more pain but there is the ability to return and watch over us. He's not gone Rachel - he's with each of you and his heart aches as does yours to see his loved ones sad. He will watch over his wife and his two sons but from a different place and as he does their lives, though they will never be the same, will again become somewhat "normal". But only because they and you know he is there.     His death was swift in comparison to those who suffer cancer and though it wasn't the same as losing someone overnight I know it feels that way. But it is good in the sense that God took him quickly and didn't make him suffer a long drawn out slow death as my father and so many others do. God heard your prayers but he has plans for him so instead of hurting you for a long time he only let your pain in watching him suffer last a short span. That is the grace of God we must see in times like these, times when we don't understand why things happen as they do because he is not to blame for the death but for the homecoming your BIL will receive and for the pain you weren't made to suffer, the cancer you weren't made to endure within yourself as you would have had he fought a long battle.     My heart and love go out to your family and I pray that your hearts will be held by the angels and comforted in this time. Just don't forget their is one angel who is holding each of you the most and he always, always will.     Thank you again to all those who sent me word of how much they were praying. I wish the news could be different but though it isn't we must thank God for his mercy he showed and pray for Rachel's family in this time of their lives. God Bless & Much Love, Kristy   1:16 PM - 3 Comments - 6 Kudos - Add Comment Sunday, May 04, 2008 New Tat Is Up.... Current mood: devious Category: Art and Photography in the pics folder "new tat" duh! ;) Much love, Kristy 8:04 PM - 3 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment Saturday, May 03, 2008 Help Me Feed The Hungry - My Goal To Fill An 18-Wheeler Full of Food Category: Life May 9 - May 17 I will be at Myrtle Beach Bike Week in Myrtle Beach, SC. My location will be near the Hardrock Cafe at the Bikers Against Hunger Booth. They have 10 booths they will be manning during the week so if you want to volunteer your time email Brother Brent for more details on how you can help. Each book I sell I will give 20% of the cover price back to BAH so they can feed more people. Their cause is awesome and the power of their message is beyond comparison. Where our government dropped the ball these fine folks are picking it up and running with it. Not only does the funds they receive go to feed the homeless, but it also helps families in need when times are hard. They are such a respectable bunch of people who are working very hard to change the lives of those who need help. I hope you'll stop by one of their booths if you're there for bike week. My schedule will be posted at the booth. I'm not sure how many hours a day I can handle but I will be there as often and as long as I can. If I am needed to help relieve someone at another booth I may move but my location will be noted at the Hardrock Cafe Booth. I am very honored to be doing this event with the BAH organization and look very forward to working with them and to meeting all of you who stop in to see me. My goal is to sell enough books to fill an 18 wheeler full of food so please stop in :) Hope to see you there! Much love, Kristy, Mike & The Realm of Insanity Press - Lauren Ferrell and Paul Carmichael. ***Please note I do not know the exact location of the booth and we won't know until we get there. It is near the Hardrock Park - please seek and find :) The address given is an approx. location. For more information: kristy@kristytallman.com http://www.discovermyrtlebeach.com/hardrockpark/index.cfm http://www.myspace.com/bikersagainsthunger Near Hardrock Cafe & Amusement Park 211 George Bishop Parkway Myrtle Beach, SC 29579 Booth hours are 10am - 8pm. If you want to help but can't be there please donate so we can fill that 18-Wheeler Full of Food! If you can't make the event but would like to help us fill the truck please stop by my myspace page and mak a donation. Paypal buttons are available on the front page and on the blog! OTHER BIKERS AGAINST HUNGER DROP POINTS BIKE WEEK MYRTLE BEACH BROKEN SPOKE 2340 HWY 17 SOUTH GARDEN CITY SC 29576 843-651-5510 SUCK BANG BLOW  MURRELS INLET SC BEAVER BAR 3381 BUS 17 S MURRELS INLET SC INLET MALL MURRELS INLET SC   STAGE AND BANDS HARD ROCK THEME PARK 211 GEORGE BISHOP PKWY, MYRTLE BEACH SC 29579 COLONIAL MALL 10177 N. KINGS HIGHWAY, MYRTLE BEACH ,SC 29572 HB SPOKES SALOON 1111 HWY 9 LONGS ,SC 29568 REDLINE POWER SPORTS 4663 HIGHWAY 501 MYRTLE BEACH SC 29579 MYRTLE BEACH HARLEY DAVIDSON 4710 S KINGS HWY, MYRTLE BEACH ,SC 29575 BAREFOOT LANDING 4898 HIGHWAY 17 S, MYRTLE BEACH SC 29582 SONS OF GOD, AZUZA STREET RIDERS  FREE BBQ ,PRAYER AND FOOD DROP BOXES. AT GOLF CART AT GRAHAMS HWY 17 BUS MYRTLE BEACH SC HIS HANDS REACHING MINITRIES 5901 SOUTH KINGS HWY MYRTLE BEACH,SC,LAKEWOOD FREE BREAKFAST AND MINISTRY TENT ON THE BEACH WITH NIGHTLY SERVICES 7:24 AM - 2 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment Friday, May 02, 2008 After Midnight Thoughts... Current mood: fascinated Category: Writing and Poetry It's almost 1:30 am - 12 hours before the needles begin to dance upon my skin. Color will stream and soon a vision will appear…I will have a hard time sleeping tonight as it's a bit like a child who might be going to Wonderland come morning…how sweet it is. It started with a simple thought, then meaning found its way to understanding as to why I am drawn so deeply to the symbolism of what will soon become art upon my wrist. Each tat I get is special to me for a reason only I sometimes can understand but that's cool because it is my rendition of art, my body just a canvas of what appeals to me. My mother hates when I get tattoos because she wants her daughter to remain unmarked by the needles and I can understand her thoughts as my oldest daughter wanted to do all kinds of things to herself, piercings, tats but truth is I told her when she turned 18 it was her body to do with what she wanted. I remember the feeling my mother had and confess I held it too for my own children but at the same time I never stopped them from being who they are I just asked them to wait until they were old enough to understand what they were doing. Not that kids these days don't have an understanding of what they want in life but just give it a bit of time - think it over - especially if it will be with you for a lifetime. That is why when I get a tat I start off with an image dancing around in my head, it means something but I'm not fully aware so I let the picture form itself into what it truly is. I carry some similar artwork to the art man Tom and I tell him what I see in my minds eye - he begins to draw the imagery I explained like magic and that is when I know it's time. It's right - it's something I will understand, something I will cherish, something that means enough to me to wear it forever upon me. I am so excited for the hours to tick down - I'm getting tattooed at 1:30 pm - 12 hours and the pain will begin but the outcome will be the artwork that danced in my head for only me to see…I'll show you the tat when it's done and I wonder will you understand it's meaning as I embrace it. Good night….. Sweetest Dark Dreams… Kristy