note to self, stalk up on mac and spam.(oh damn i forgot about all those stacks of mres. okay so we have food to last for months, but i'll be a raging bitch witha killer msg migraine. goes to retake quiz.)
i'm going to freeze myself and it's your job to remember where i am and come unbury me in 5 days so i can play the nintendo wii, i mean watch the latest episode of south park.
damn it i just had a thought. i bet i won't get to watch it online on the 8th. oh no. if it's air date is the 8th then i'm going to have to wait even longer. uh ubhubhubhubhbuhb i can't take it anymore.
(shrug, sorry i have been really bored this past week. my knitting is kicking my ass, so it and me aren't speaking right now. which leaves way too much spare time, obviously.)
(i'm going to go try and get wonder woman to play again. by the way, as an adult watching that show, the belly dancer inside me cringes each time she spins. k i know i suck at spins, so i try not to do them alot. i tend to wobble and look like i'm about to fall over. that said, watching linda carter spin, ouch. she wobbles big time and not only looks disoriented after a couple turns but at times knocks into stuff and almost falls down. i just want to scream at her, spot, spot damn you, spot before you hurt yourself. as an actress on a show that requires you to spin at least once each episode, don't you think you should acquire that skill? i mean it would be like samatha not being able to wiggle her nose. that said i still love linda carter and i still want to be wonder woman when i grow up. shut up she's not gay, she totally kicks ass and the lasso of truth is a great super power. no you suck!)
so it's been a long week so far, which led to a restless night last night, and hours of me laying in bed with too much time to ponder.
what do i think about as i lay awake at nights?
well last night it was mainly guns. hand guns in particular.
i have been looking for the perfect hand gun for a while now. i love a 40 cal, and have plenty of ballistic reasoning to back up my choice there. but unfortunately while i love the piss out of a glock. a glock 40 cal simply doesn't fit my tiny little hands well, makeing it impractical as my firearm of choice. oh sure it still goes bang for me just fine, but because of a specific trigger factor, which adds to the guns appeal, and the fact that my small fingers prevent me from properly engaging said sweet feature, i simply can not operate the weapon to the full extent of it's potential. a deal breaker? no, i sup pose not really. i can still hit my target just fine and easily enough make the bad guy go away. but it isn't comfortable in my hands as i would like it to be, i can't get the guns full potential out of it without modifying it to the brink of no longer being safe, and then theirs the price tag. if i am going to pay that much for a weapon i want it to be the perfect fit. you know love at first shot. will that keep me from shooting glocks now? hell no, but investing more money? nope.
okay, so on to smaller guns. i won't own a pussy nine mil. oh fuck no. why bother? ya not much kick there, but i am not worried about recoil or muzzle rise. if i'm going to be using my gun for anything other then targets i wanna know i can trust it to keep whats coming at me from getting back up in under 6 rounds. 1 well placed shot should be enough, and i can't feel assured that i will get that with a 9. shrug.
k so what guns does that leave in the running. well so far my choices are kahr. a very nice, but again expensive weapon. with a single stack clip i may be able to get a grip small enough to fit my hand and stay with the caliber i want. may.
so on to the next option. this is a fairly new contender, as i am very picky in my fire arms, the list hasn't been long. i suppose having a father who was an arms dealer gave me that. the makarov. i have not obtained all the ballistic details of the 9 x 18 yet. but have some fears it will drop out of the running due to lack of the power i am wanting. a small comfortable gun to shoot, might do nicely for a back up weapon.
the last option is to simply go with a wheel gun. i can get as big a caliber as i want with as small a grip as i like, ensuring proper hand fit. i could have my 40 mm cake and eat it too. a nice feature in this choice is having a weighted barrel to prevent barrel rise and increase accuracy. as long as i avoid going so big as to make the weapon to heavy to properly hold, which would take my accuracy right out the window, i am smooth sailing. i don't think that this would be needed with a simple 40 cal, but it does make wheel guns attractive when you look at larger loads. the down side to this option is do you really want to lug around a hog leg? yes images of dirty harry should be filling your mind. yes it looks cool and if your not concealed carrying, then you stand a large chance of being left the fuck alone. i mean who really wants to fuck with the crazy lady jogging with the giant hog leg? on the other hand it might make shopping at the local market rather strained. either way it is guaranteed to ensure a lot of looks and maybe even a few conversation starters. are you feeling lucky punk?
of course none of these options can compare to an automatic assault twelve gauge, but then what can. nothing quiet says be cool hunny bunny like 300 rounds of double ot buck. but then again who wants to pack something that big arounds with them all day?
which in the tangents of my mind then led to ash and his kick as back holster, and the thought that maybe i will just start carrying around a twelve gauge on my back. that wouldn't cost me any more money, other then the holster itself. either that or a nice bolt action 308. okay not really practical, and not good for up close and personal. but it was a fun thought in the middle of the night.
then all of this led to zombies as things often do and i began thinking of zombie invasion defenses. i have long standing view point that high security prisons would make good hold ups against the undead hordes. nope not like alcatraz. reminder it didnt keep prisoners in it sure wont keep zombies out. zombies do not share our need to breath, there for water isn't really much of a deterrent for them. next thing you know you are stranded on a shitty creepy island full of rotting corpses all wanting to feast on you flesh.
but instead a modern high security prison is fairly self contained. there is room for garden plots and some even have their own wells providing you with a fresh water source. i could go on in my reasoning, but it should be apparent. and if not then why would i want to explain to you? i likely don't want you there arguing my tactical vantage points as the dead try to eat us.
now obtaining a prison is much like obtaining a tank in our new found apocalyptic word. if you have one your not going to give it up willingly, and if you don't, well how the fuck are you going to manage to get your hands on one. but details aside, it's still a good idea. and if all else fails i'll be the crazy bitch up the tree with her aa12 and her giant ass dirty fucking harry hog leg.
i do have a question for you though. if you did get your hands on a sweet prison, what would you do with the inmates? you really don't want them there with you, i mean that leave too many bodies to account for and take care of. these aren't the worlds best people and you likely don't want to hang out long hours with them. might be bad for your health.
so what do you do? you could release them all. just, here your free to go. but that a leaves a big problem for latter. it wont take them long to figure out there are hordes of zombies out there wanting to eat them and that they were better off inside. leaving a bunch of pissed off hardened criminals to jepordise your strong hold. thats what i call one big liability. the other problem there is those that don't pose a threat to you by wanting to reclaim the prison are going to just become zombies themselves and add to the threat that way. we all know that humans pose more of a threat to fellow survivors then the walking dead do, but either way you don't really need to add to your troubles.
so other options? well you could just kill them all and eliminate any future problems here and now. i like this option, i have seen what compassion and being the better man can get you, but it too has it's flaws. first you don't really want to waste your ammo on them, you may need it latter to ensure your perimeter is not breached by rouge vagrants or other problematic survivors, along with the obvious threat of the zombies themselves and possibility of zombie birds. not a common occurrences but one scenario worth taking your precautions against none the less. the point being you don't want to waste you resources be it food stores or bullets on the prisoners if you don't have to. what other options do you have?
well you could just decapitate them all. this option is alot of work, no i mean really alot of work. it will do the trick but will take a while and really wear you out. the nice thing about this is you will gain alot of good strong muscles by the time your done. i think it would be simpler to just build a guillotine then to try and take on this task by hand.
lets skip ahead now rather then trying to work out the details of how you dispose of the inmate populations and get down to what your going to do with all the dead bodies now. it's really not sanitary to have them laying around and it's impractical to try and bury them all. again with the lot of work piece. unless you have a handy back hoe laying around you would be stuck digging one hell of a trench by hand. and i don;'t know about you but i would like to opt for an easier way.
i like fire, it's a good cleansing force and a great way to dispose of your pesky body count situation. thing is i dont really think i want this fire inside my prison walls. which left me to ponder flaming bodies catapulted over prison walls. shrug, never got very far with that, so i leave further ideas on that front to you.
i think the point here is that you don't want to go to jail, cause if you do and there ever is a zombie outbreak i simply wont care what your story is or how innocent you say you are. your ass is going to be a flaming headless torch sailing over my new prison walls.
so there you have it the inner workings of my mind as i lay awake on sleepless nights.
i know, i know, crazy talk, crazy talk, change the subject. but what can i say, the mind ponders all sorts of things while it can't sleep. and now you have confirmed for yourself that i am in fact a crazy, gun toting lune awaiting the impending zombie shit to hit the fan.
why can't i find true blood or season two of burn notice anywhere online? and i am so jonsen for episode two season three of dexter. where the fuck is it people. ugh. see this is why i went without a tv for years. cures you internet for bringing tv back to my doorstep. and wheres my new south park?
pumpkin bread, punpkin bread. you make everything okay.
pupkin bread, pumpkin bread, you make everything alright.
pumpkin bread, oh my punpkin bread, you make everything so good.
pumpkin bread, oh pumpkin bread, how you make my day.
k, now you know two things about me, well maybe more then two. i suck at writeing songs and two my food tastes better cause i love it and sing to it, grins.
have i mentiond i like food? no i really like food. mmmmm good foods, mmm makes everything better, mmmmm.nom nom nom nom nom.
we have a skunky friend. at first my stinky friend only visited in the we hours of the night and the obscenely early hours of the morning. sometimes our friend comes every night, then we won't smell them for a week or more. yes, smell them.
if you didn't know, i have an overly sensitive nose. i hate perfume and stinky people who dowse themselves in chemicals to hide their bodies natural odor. dude, really you smell way the fuck worse when you do that then when you sweat. bathe, thats all you need. i don't let my kids wear lotion and i have to sniff approve any deodorants they buy. and don't get me started on some of the soaps and laundry shit people use. i on the other hand always smell of coconut and when i get toasty i smell like freshly baked macaroons. ask my dance friends.
my sniffer is good enough i can tell when someones sick by the way they smell, and if they have put something in their body that it deems poisonous. i'm not as good at tracking animals by scent as i would like to be, but i'm only a human and not a god damn dog so give me a break. i can still scent the heavier scented animals, bear and elk are easy and i would assume most people can smell them, but i don't know. however i can't tell you their sex or when they passed or how old they are, shrug but that might just be creepy anyway.
my point being i have a rather sensitive nose. and our little friend, while pleasant enough of nature it seems, is rather smelly. i can be sound asleep and bam wide awake, oh pe'pe' is back. worst thing for rew is i usually blurt this or something like it outloud. "oh good our skunky friend is still okay". sigh poor thing he hates when i do shit like that. never fun when you have to be up in an hour or so.
and no our friend isn't spraying anything, just simply minding it's own skunky business and happens to have a rather pungent aroma, yup the cartoon no lie! they smell all the time. it is cute though, chewy and it appear to be friends. she never barks when it visits, ever.
some times it just seems to pass through, other times it hangs out for a very long time. not being able to see it i can never tell how close it actually is. i know it often seems as though it has walked right under out window, but it's scent could be drifting far enough that in reality it's not that close at all.
this morning it visited very late. i had to drop the kids off at the bus stop cause rew had to go in a couple hours early, so i was up and awake when i normally would be sleeping peacefully. as i got back home and stepped out of the car my first thought was, oh good our skunk is okay, burn man hasn't shot it. (we have a neighbor man who shoots everything and sadly keeps the fox population to nill.)
the scent was fairly faint at the car, but as i walked around the shop[ and towards the house it grew stronger and by the time i got to the breeze way between the two it was quiet potent. i dont think it was still around, and the smell was simply lingering, but it proved to me a few of my theories seem right. it stays to the back of the house not out front and seems to in fact cross behind our home, where our bedroom is and over toward the shop. maybe it likes the lorals there, shrug, maybe it visits for apples, maybe we simply live in its path.
but as i sit here blabbering in such a boring manner the smell fades, getting fainter and fainter, and i am simply glad for our friend, though i wish it was a little less pungent.
it is nice living out of town again. when in town i could enjoy raccoons, beavers (the kind that live in the water and build damns you perves) ducks and geese. but there really was limited wildlife. in the months we've been here i have been rather disappointed by the lack of wildlife we have had, but with a trigger happy neighbor so close i guess i shouldn't be surprised. i will simply enjoy the very rare night i can hear a coyote call or an elk bugle. and the lucky glimpse of a very brave fox.
two great nights of really great dancing / aka / belly dancing and zombies
well the last two nights have been amazing. got to see some of not only my favorite dancers but my favorite women.
i realized tonight just how lucky we are.
on a totally different note i was watching burn notice and an oil of olay commercial came on. um has anyone else seen this add? um umbrella corp much? creepy. so i'm going to go crawl into bed with my guns and my hunny and wait for the giant killer bunnies and scary zombies that oil of olay/ umbrella corp unleashed upon us and dream of all my lovely dancer friends.
have i ever mentions i love donuts? they are so tasty, just mouth watering? but alas not safe to eat for me. so it had been like a year, seriously. well guess what i have been makeing non stop the last week. drools. yup. i was all dude i bake all the time, why not try frying up some donuts? and there they are. i have mastered two kinds that are good enough to make the kids fight over who gets to do the dishes so they can haver one. one is a cake donut and the other is a yeast. and i am gonna go eat me some right freakin now.
i must say yesterday was a good day. frying donuts and baking focaccia bread. my house smelled so good. i really do love my kitchen. just can't wait till it's totally finished.
oh and remind me to post photos of my new chairs. oh ya baby. life can be good.
