Why I hate Pandas
Current mood: busy

Did you know that Panda bears will only live in a teeny tiny little province in southwestern China? Their entire diet consists only of bamboo which is quite possibly the most un-nutritious food ever. For extra fun, they are only able to digest a very small percentage of the bamboo they to ingest anyway, yet they saw it fit to eat ONLY that.  To put things in proportion, imagine if the only food you ever ate was celery, it's like that.   It is not that they can not digest meat or any other form of vegetation that actually provides some kind of nutrient, they just don't want to.  Oh and they only mate when all nine planets are equally aligned and the sun is at a 32 degree angle in the sky during a solar eclipse and it rained the day before (you get the picture).  If and when they do produce offspring (they have the lowest reproduction rates of any bear species), they usually give birth to twins but will pretty much immediately kill one of them.  Personally I think they are taking China's one child law a bit seriously.  They refuse to mate in captivity and in the event that they are inseminated, they will usually kill both cubs at birth.  Can someone please explain to me why the fuck there is such a scramble to save a species that has absolutely no desire what so ever to perpetuate its own existence?  In fact, Pandas are probably the biggest proponents of their own extinction.  They seem to be actively seeking the death of their species.  I say everyone grabs a rifle and does all the other endangered animals a favor shoots the little bastards right between their beady little eyes.  There are other endangered species whose numbers are dwindling through no fault of their own while these selfish and suicidal creatures are siphoning precious resources that could be put toward more worthwhile causes.  If pandas were not cute, cuddly bears but wiry little rodents, they would have gotten their wish of extinction a long time ago.  Let's take all the money wasted on these miserable parasites and spend it on habitat preservation for living things that want to survive.  Fuck the pandas.  I hope they all die (and apparently, so do they).

Currently listening : Physical Graffiti By Led Zeppelin Release date: 16 August, 1994

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I will poison you and not feel bad
Current mood: exhausted
Category: Food and Restaurants

Notice: To anyone who I might wait on in the future:

I am a waitress at night and I fuckin hate it.  Its not so much the actual work that I have to do, but the people that I have to interact with.  I am not talking about the staff because with the exception of a few douchebags, everyone is pretty cool.  The clientele fucking sucks.  This doesnt mean everyone because I do wait on people that absolutely make my job easier, but for the most part I have to pander to high maintenance, rude, non-tipping assholes, and Im a little bit sick of it. As if anyone will actually pay attention to this, but I am going to list a couple of general rules that people should follow when eating in public.  This is mostly for my benefit because if I post this and you read it and I wait on you and you act like a fucking dickhead, dont be surprised when I put shit in your food.  Because I have no problem with that.

1. Dont fucking seat yourselves unless there is a sign that specifically says SEAT YOURSELF.  This pisses us off right away and makes us hate you.

2. Dont ever say Yo, what kinda drinks you got? EVER.  We have hundreds of drinks and Ill be god damned if Im gonna rattle them off to you because youre too fucking lazy to open up the god damned menu.  Read it your damned self.

3. When ordering, do not whisper at your menu and actually expect me to hear you.  The music is blaring and I have a screaming brat at the next table.  I cant fuckin hear you when your face is crammed in the menu, so speak the fuck up.

4. How many drinks do you really need to get through your meal?  It really should not be more than two at a time, so dont order more than that.  Its really obnoxious when you order a water, a soda, a coffee, and smoothie all at once.  If you do that to me, I am going to put something unpleasant in one of your drinks.  Im not kidding.  I only have two fucking hands. Also, if you order a water with lemon because its free and I catch you making your own lemonade at the table, Im going to spill it on you.  Just so you know.

5.  When someone asks what kind of salad dressings we have and I list all fucking 28 of them, pay the fuck attention.  I really dont want to say it again.  That will just piss me off and I will take it out on your food.  I promise.

6. When you see that I am busy, please be ready to order when you say you are.  I really dont want to stand there while you decide what the fuck it is that you want.  And please, someone take the initiative and order first.  I am not  going to stand there while you argue about who is going to order first. I really dont have the fucking time nor the inclination.  If this happens, I will leave you alone to decide and Ill be back in 20 minutes. 

7.  When your food comes out and I ask you if everything is okay and you say yes, dont tell me after youre done that your fucking mashed potatoes were cold.  I asked you and you didnt say shit so you dont have the right to bitch.  What the fuck do you want me to do about it now?  You ate everything on your god damned plate.  Pig.

8.  When ordering a sissy ass woman drink like a strawberry daiquiri or a mudslide, dont expect to be able to taste the alcohol.  That is kinda the point.  Its a sissy ass woman drink and its supposed to taste that way.  Dont expect a mudslide to get you loaded either, because youll have to drink 26 of them.  In ten minutes.  Order a real fucking drink if you actually want to taste it.  Retard.

9.  Dont ask for your check and then sit there with it for a god damned hour.  I hate that shit, especially when you are the only people left in my section and I am fucking finished.  Your dumb asses can sit there all fucking night if you want, just pay my ass so I can get the fuck outta here.  Oh yeah, and a 10ip is not good.  20s good, especially if you have been sitting there guzzling fuckin coffee for 4 damn hours.

10.  If we close at 1 a.m. and you come in at 12:50, expect shitty service, bad food, and to be rushed.  This is fucking NEW JERSEY, you cant swing a dead cat without hitting a mother fucking diner.  They are open all night too, go there instead. Asshole.

Im done for now but Im sure something else will piss me off and I will feel compelled to rant about that too.  If I have left anything out, please do not hesitate to let me know.

Currently listening : Sticky Fingers By The Rolling Stones Release date: 26 July, 1994

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Things that are Currently Pissing Me Off: Part IV
Current mood: devious
Category: Blogging

This is actually an extension to Part I, but I just found the most perfect example of one of my points and felt the compulsion to share. (Now would be the time to go back and read it).  First off, I just want to preface this by saying that I have never met this kid before.  For all I know hes a sweetheart who volunteers at animal shelters and reads to blind kids.  However, based solely on his myspace profile, I find him to be an egocentric douche bag.  His name is Ross and he is one of those (as quoted from Part I) "fuckin scene losers who dont like most people or are better than everyone, but have 600 friends".   Just reading his profile makes me want to gouge my own eyes out with a rusty spoon, but alas, it is like a bad car accident and the only thing I can do is point and laugh.  Let the games begin.  This is what dear Ross actually writes in his "about me" section:

You probably know me already. My name is Ross a.k.a.: rossome, rossye, hat kid, the point, the rossly one, bostonross, "that guy", the scene, and evil ross. I'm too scene for you. I basicly run things at the Great American Diner & Pub (aka: The Pub). I started my own crew called 13 paces, and we all wear pink bandanas. Crips and Bloods better check your colours at the door, or else you might get cut.

P.S. i dont like most people because I'm sick of being your fucking idol. I'm that asshole you see dancing at shows, having a great time. I typically have a .12 or above BAC, but dont tell my parents that.

My belt buckle is probably cooler than yours. Your jeans probably look better on me (if you're a girl).

If you dont already know me, fat chance of talking to me, I'm really busy chillin with my true friends. (aka: people that actually care about me, unlike you......... asshole.)

Seriously, I swear to god, no cutting and pasting about it, that is what he ACTUALLY wrote.  I dont think I even need to pull this one apart, but for shits and giggles, I will anyway.  Our friend Ross writes that he doesnt like most people because hes sick of being our fucking idol.  Dont worry dude.  I can safely say that aside from the seventeen pages of self cutters you have on your friends list, no one who doesnt have a prescription for Zoloft worships you.  Ross is also too scene for us.  Its true too, because if being "scene" means you are a self-indulgent douche bag who uploads eleventy-billion pictures of yourself looking "scene". Congrat-u-fucking-lations. You are too scene for me, Ross.   He apparently also has a habit of wearing womens clothes.  My idol.  Oh yeah, and evidently his true friends are a group of over 600 but he doesnt like most people. Damn, I wonder how many friends the popular kids have.  Moving on...I found a blog of his to be particularly cute.

Im depressed.  Im just depressed, but I have no reason to be.  It could just be me.  I have more friends than any person could count if you gave them a week and a day.  Im reassured every day how ridiculously attractive I am.  But still, Im just depressed.  I havent worked in two months, but I still manage to have a beer or two and have smokes to boot.  But still Im just depressed.  My heart doesnt even break that much anymore for her, I know Im better than this.  But yet again, Im just depressed.  I still think about her every day, even though the phone calls never come through, and that affects me very little.  But I cant help but be depressed.  So what the fuck is wrong with me?  Or wait, maybe its nothing wrong with me.  Maybe its just you.

You have GOT to be fucking kidding me.  Boo fucking hoo.  This is a 25 year old white boy who lives in the suburbs.  Cry me a fucking river; your life is so hard.  This loser is just blatantly begging for someone to stroke his ego. Im ridiculously good looking and I have a ton of friends, please cry for me. I'm guessing his girlfriend broke up with him.  So fucking what? She probably felt like she was having a relationship with a spoiled child.   I dont know about you but Im not getting too misty eyed.  This guy is so absurdly self involved that it makes him ugly.  Its really a shame too, because hes a good looking guy, who, if you ignore the flood of insecurities that come screaming across his webpage, seems mildly human.  But it is not my job to feed anyones ego or fix anyones problems.  I will however, point and laugh.

Currently listening : BBC Sessions By Led Zeppelin Release date: 18 November, 1997

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Things that are Currently Pissing Me Off: Part III
Current mood: aggravated
Category: Blogging

I know I write a lot about things that anger me to no end but it seems that the hits just keep on coming.  Today I think Ill tackle the pretentiousness of people who somehow find it necessary to tell me how to fucking live.  I, along with everyone who has ever met me, can tell you that I am far from perfect.  One thing I dont do, however, is try to push my values (or lack thereof) onto others.  I find it condescending and unwarranted to do so, so I fucking dont and to be completely honest, I could not care less about how others live their lives.  In all truth, its not my fucking problem.  Ive got enough bullshit in my life, I dont need to be burdened with other peoples problems as well.  And I swear on everything that is good and pure that if one more person tips me with one of those god pamphlets or tells me I need to find Jesus I am going to start carrying a gun.  Thats fucking fantastic that these people feel that religion is a driving force in their lives but its not in mine and I find it insulting that these bible thumpers feel the need to save me as if somehow they are better than me because they go to church on Sunday.  Another group of genetic defects are those who picket outside womens clinics.  I drive past the clinic about four times a week and they are always out there reading scripture and taunting the poor women who I can safely say are already having a pretty rough day.  Instead of devoting their time to decreasing the necessity for abortion by volunteering the hours spent pacing outside the clinic (which must at least equal that of a full time job) to more worthwhile causes like sex education, these degenerates are happy just to camp outside a doorway and berate the women who walk past them.  Assholes.  Oh, and if I have one more person send me bloody pictures of aborted fetuses Im gonna start cracking skulls.  Its gross and I dont want to look at it.  If the fact that abortion is bloody and gross is your main selling point, you might want to redirect your efforts somewhere else.  Open heart surgery is bloody and gross.  Amputations are bloody and gross.  Hell, BIRTH is bloody and gross but that doesnt negate the necessity for it.  If some of these people didnt have such restrictive tunnel vision, they could probably see that despite their best efforts to make everyone in the world exactly like them, its not working.  Give the fuck up.  If people want to believe that Jesus is the only path to salvation and that abortion is murder and premarital sex is wrong and will send me to hell then so be it.  But Im not going to change my beliefs because they think they are wrong just as I would never expect anyone to change their beliefs no matter how skewed I think they may be.  I am not going to go out and picket the picketers.  I am just going to write a blog and make fun of them.

Currently listening : Youth Are Getting Restless: Live in Amsterdam By Bad Brains Release date: 10 May, 1990

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Bad Kissers
Current mood: nauseated
Category: Romance and Relationships

Bad Kissers

Like most people who are not totally repulsive, I have kissed a lot of people in my day and much to my dismay, there are surprisingly few that actually know how to do it right.  I can count on one hand how many really great kisses I have had and it sucks.  There is nothing worse than a really bad kisser.  It's a complete turn-off and a pretty good indication of the quality of what is to follow.  If someone is a great kisser, chances are good that they'll have other talents too but by the same respect if someone is a bad kisser, it's probably going to be followed by an excruciatingly long three minutes of "insert-thrust-repeat" (assuming you don't push him off in disgust) before he collapses sweaty (already?) and winded on top of you thinking he's a stud.  These bad kissers are also usually the guys who brag constantly about how many bitches they've had and their remarkable sexual prowess. If you are this type of guy, stop it now.  We are not impressed with how great you think you are and if you suck, we're going to tell all of our friends.  Following is a list of things that define a bad kisser and what to avoid.  This is done from a female's point of view because, for one, I am a female and two, while I have only kissed a handful of women (who all turned out to be very good at it), I have kissed my fair share of guys who, following the aforementioned kiss, made me never want to have sex again.  Here is why:

1.  "The Slobberer":  This one is by far the worst.  Nothing is more repulsive than someone who just drenches your face in spit.  I really don't want to have to wipe off my fucking face with a god damned beach towel after you kiss me, asshole.  Its gross and it makes me want to cringe. A little side note:  If you're kissing my lips, my fucking eyebrows shouldn't be wet.  Thanks.

2. "The Tongue Thruster":  This guy could make the Pacific Ocean go dry.  This type of kisser darts his tongue in and out of your mouth like some kind of awkward jack-in-the-box.  I don't know who teaches these guys how to do this but these women should be beaten and sterilized.  This kind of kiss basically leaves you with the feeling of what the hell was that?!  These guys usually think they're good kissers too which is probably the worst thing about them.

3. "The Ranksacker":  Seriously, these guys should be shot.  These are the types that just completely invade your whole mouth and kiss like they are trying to chew out your tonsils.  This kind of kiss leaves you feeling violated and physically worn out from trying not to choke on his fucking tongue.  In the sack, these guys are the breed that skip foreplay all together and bang you mercilessly until you're black and blue before stealing your purse on the way out the door.

4. "The Biter": This one is pretty self explanatory.  This guy literally fucking chews on your lips until they feel like they are going to bleed or until you smack him upside his stupid ass head and ask what the fuck he's doing.  My advice:  Don't jump into bed with this one until he has been corrected on his bad behavior because doing to would likely result in the need for reconstructive surgery.

5.  "The Tooth Banger":  This clumsy mother fucker is constantly banging his teeth into yours, and if you have ever had this happen to you, you know it hurts like a bitch.  It's also awkward and completely unsexy.  On the upside however, you probably won't have to worry about what this guy is like in bed because this nervous mother fucker will more than likely not even be able to get your shirt off.

6. "The Multi-Tasker":  This can be a good thing when done right but when it's done wrong, it's tragic.  While kissing you, this guy will run his hands all over your body in some kind of frantic unorganized and way over excited motion that leaves you chaffed and raw.  He will also probably play with your breasts like he's tuning a radio dial.  This is extremely unpleasant.  "The Multi-Tasker" is also very often "The Slobberer" as well.  If this happens, run.

7. "The Mis-Aimer":  This guy usually misses the mark all together and ends up kissing that space between your upper lip and your nose, leaving you grossed out and gasping for air.  This is a very elementary mistake and these guys often have very little experience with women and don't even realize what they are doing until you shoot him a weird look and tell him not to ever do that again.

8. "The Tongue Sucker": This one just completely grosses me out.  No one likes this.  This guy takes it overboard and you end up feeling like he's trying to swallow your tongue.  Its very icky.  However, this is and easy fix.  Surprisingly, these guys defy the rule and tend to be pretty good in bed for reasons that I can not explain without being overly graphic.  I think you can figure it out.

These are all I can bear to come up with right now but I am sure that I have left some out.  If you have had the unfortunate experience of enduring a kiss as unsexy as the aforementioned eight that I have left out, please let me know and I will add them.  Everyone must be warned.

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Things that are Currently Pissing Me Off, Part II
Current mood: aggravated
Category: Blogging

To some of you who read by blogs on a regular basis (and you know who you are), I may seem like a really pissed off person, I am.  Perhaps I wouldn't be if it weren't for the multitude of chromosome deficient crotch sniffers I have to deal with every day.  If it weren't for the psychotropic inventions of the medical community and the horticultural efforts of some foreign laborers, I probably would be writing this from a prison cell.  But, even as my indulgence in rage-quieting substances limit me to words, I try to make them as sharp as possible in hopes to twist the proverbial knife in the sides of those who make my life hell.  Here's to all of you who have so well proven that evolution can go in reverse.  Cheers.

1.  People who tell me I should smile more.

I had some all-befouling scourge of decency slumping in one of my tables tell me this after he handed me (following very good service I might add) a $3 on a $50 check.  Oh yeah, I should fucking smile.  Its 9:00 now and I have been working since 7:00 this morning.  This is my third day in a row of this shit, my car broke down, I'm struggling to maintain both my jobs and my near perfect GPA, my twin sister just moved 300 miles away, I'm out of pot, there is a kid screaming and throwing mashed potatoes at one of my other tables, I make $2.13 an hour and I have to tip out every last cent you just gave me to the restaurant, and you have just wasted an hour and a half of my time.  I should smile more?  Fuck you, die in a fire.

2. People who tell me smoking is bad for me.

You're fucking kidding?!  If I hadn't crawled out from underneath that rock that I have been living under for the last 23 years I would never have known that.  And all this time I thought I was inhaling vitamins.  Smoking is bad for me?  Oh yeah, well so is that cheeseburger you sweaty diabetes ridden glutton but you don't see going all Jenny Craig on your ass.  Do you think I like spending $300 a month on cancer sticks that stink up my car and apartment and tar the hell out of my lungs?  It's called an ADDICTION you dandruff eater, and its probably one of the few things that are keeping me from ripping out your spine and beating the hell out of you with it.  Be on your way.

3. Republicans and people who don't vote.

Republicans are the absolute dregs of the Earth, and I think that anyone who is not a tubby, war-mongering, Pat Buchanan lover would agree.  Do you actually think your president has done a good job?  I suppose if your definition of good means stripping away fundamental human rights, invading basic privacy, tanking the economy, and unnecessarily sending thousands of men and women over seas to be slaughtered, then yeah he's done a fantastic fucking job.  It's also your fault, you parasitic sycophants who can't take 2 fucking minutes out of your busy schedules to make sure that your country doesn't go in the shitter.  I don't know whether to slap you for ask you what your favorite flavor window is. If you would learn to read something other than the backs of your hamburger helper boxes you would know what kind of shit-hole nation this has become, you nefarious sub-literates.

That's all that I have for right now but I am sure that soon, something else will piss be off and I'll feel compelled to rant about it.

Currently listening : London Calling By The Clash Release date: 25 January, 2000

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Things that are currently pissing me off, Part I
Current mood: pissed off
Category: Blogging

Things that are currently pissing me off

This is a pretty broad category and it could take me thousands of words to cover it all, so Im just gonna focus on a couple.  First off, if I have to read on somebodys profile one more time that they dont like fake people, Im gonna drive a nail through my eye.  NOBODY likes fake people damn it.  Thats pretty much the same thing as saying I dont like serial killers or I dont like getting my hand caught in the garbage disposal, its a given, so stop fucking saying it.  These are also the same morons who are probably outgoing or laidback.  I fuckin hate that too.  People have been using those terms since we had to stand up in fifth grade and introduce ourselves and tell everyone what our favorite color was.  For the love of god please, please, stop it.  Maybe you could use a THESAURUS and look up another word that means the same thing but isnt so overused that it makes me want to bash my head against the wall.  Thanks.  Oh yeah, and all you fuckin scene losers who dont like most people or are better than everyone, but have 600 friends can go fuck yourselves, god damn hypocrites. No, you dont like them but youll add them anyway so other people will see how many friends you have and think youre cool.  Because you need that.  I also cant stand the barely legal teenage girls who will post skanky pictures of themselves all over their pages and then complain when they get e-mails from creepy guys.  Of course that is gonna happen, retard.  Stop flashing your ass, jailbait.  If you wave a steak in front of a hungry fuckin dog, hes gonna try to eat, dumbass.  And while Im at it, all you people WhO tYpE lIkE tHiS and say shit like Lyke Oh my gawd your so gorg! Comm3nt my pix. Kthnx.  It really doesnt take a whole lot of effort to spell it correctly, plus theres the added bonus of not looking like a window-licking knuckle dragger.  Thats all Ive got for now but Im sure something else will piss me off soon and I will feel compelled to rant about it.

Currently listening : Pretty Hate Machine By Nine Inch Nails Release date: 22 November, 2005

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The shallow ass gene pool
Current mood: cynical
Category: Blogging

People Who Should Be Sterilized

Natural selection is the process by which variants displaying favorable or deleterious traits end up producing more or fewer progeny relative to other individuals of the same population.  It is undoubtedly a defining characteristic in the survival of the human race and in the over evident presence of modern medical technology, this natural phenomenon is fading.  I am sure that it will ultimately be our undoing as a race and the human species will be eventually reduced to drooling, knuckle dragging, idiots as the gene pool grows increasingly tainted and shallow by the generation. People born with defective genes and limited capabilities have been in the past, unable to reproduce or have had a very limited capacity to do so.  Not so much anymore.  We have thousands of fertility drugs and in-vetro fertilization that allow these genetic subterraneans to reproduce at alarming rates.  Don't get me wrong, I'm all for people having babies and being happy and everything but I remain cautious that we are fucking with mother nature and she's gonna bite us in the ass soon.  She is already compensating for our staggering ability to counter attack by creating such wonderful afflictions like AIDS and Smallpox in an effort to control the population.  I would like very much not to catch either, and I for one refuse to stand for this any longer.  I will not sit idly by while my kind is reduced to confused, window-licking morons.  I have decided that there are certain groups of people who, for the good of the entire human race, should be sterilized as to prevent the spawning of more genetic half-wits.  Though this may seem a cruel justice to you bleeding heart humanitarians, I must assure you that this is a truly altruistic endeavor and is in no way an indication of my own bloodlust.

1. Inbreeders

Really Billy, you can't find another receptacle for your man-yogurt than your 14 year old sister?  I know it gets cold and lonely up there in the mountains of West Virginia but come on, like we need any more chromosome deficient bastards in the world.  Jerk off in a tube sock, Fucko.

2. People who live in trailer parks but have nine kids anyway

News flash you over sexed rednecks, kids cost money and while your baby-machine wives are pumping out brats faster than a German sausage factory you're sitting on your asses swilling Budweiser and collecting welfare.  Get a job assbag and stop leeching off of hardworking tax payers who are no doubt footing the bill for that 30 pack you have sitting in the cooler next to your rusty-ass lawn chair.  You don't see doctors and lawyers with 18 kids.  No, the people who should reproduce don't but those who can't read the instructions on a condom wrapper are breeding like rabbits that just got out of prison.  Thanks assholes.

3. Child Molesters

Raise your hand if you wouldn't love to slowly torture and murder these sick fucks.  No one?  I didn't think so.  I hope they all die.

4. Religious Intolerants

This group includes bible thumping, God fearing, holy-rollers who have nothing else to do but hate people.  Read your fucking bible and preach love and family values while you load up your 12 gauge.  Pray to your angry God who hates Homosexuals, Blacks, and Jews.  Oh, and teach your kids to hate too.  Don't lock up your guns either so twelve year old Isaac can raid your arsenal and kill three black kids at school.  Fuck you, I hope you burn alive.

5. Terrorists

Killing people does NOT get you into heaven, it just won't.  Neither will raping women and kidnapping children, even if you do it while reciting verses from the Qur'an.    Maybe it's my ignorance but I don't remember blowing people up as one of the 5 pillars of Islam.  Take your jihad and shove it up your murder loving asses.  Terror breeds terror and we don't need you fuckers raising more Uzi-toting human explosives.  Fuck you.

6. Drug addicts and other junkies

Just kill yourselves right now.  Normal people don't enjoy watching you crack whores sell yourselves to get your fixes while you abandon the six kids you have stashed in an alley or in some flophouse. We also dont like to pay taxes to fund methadone clinics and needle exchanges because you assholes can't keep from jamming spikes into your veins and spreading AIDS and hepatitis.  Guns are much faster.  Blow your own fucking heads off or I'll do it for you.

7. General morons, idiots and assorted douche bags

This means people who drive 30mph in the left lane, don't know the difference between your and you're and their and there, can't count without using their hands, and all those who should be made to wear helmets.  You make the rest of our lives miserable and we hate you.  While I'm fairly confident that your own stupidity will be your undoing-like you fuckwits who douse your fireworks in gasoline and clean your guns while looking straight into the barrel-I can't wait that long.  You need to go now.

8. People who fuck animals

Bestiality is gross.  I don't care if you think that Bessie the sheep really wants it.  I assure you, she (or he) doesn't.  Believe it or not, you can actually hire a human to have sex with you, they're called hookers.  They're not the cleanest people in the world but they are not animals.  As a general rule of thumb, just try not to have sex with anything that has a tail. And a side note, AIDS and "I got sick from fucking a chicken" flu wouldn't be around if you degenerates never had the inclination to fuck your pets.  Thanks a lot you goat ramming dog rapists.

9. People who don't appreciate their lives

This means the angst driven teenagers who live in cozy suburban, crime free neighborhoods who mutilate themselves because "no one understands them".  These are also the trench coat wearing, shotgun toting 16 years olds who shoot up their schools because they were picked last in kickball.  You're not martyrs assholes.  I strongly recommend suicide.  You can even write a sad goodbye poem if you want.

10.  Fat people

I'm not talking about slightly overweight people who are conscious of their physical conditions and are putting forth some effort to control their weight.  I"m talking about the morbidly obese gluttons who continuously cram their pie holes full of cheese and donuts and fries and chips and entire jars of mayonnaise all while straining their overworked furniture as they sit on their 600 pound asses watching Jerry Springer all day.  These are also the cheeseburger crammers that allow their kids to do the same thing and then wonder why at 6 years old and 200 pounds, Johnny has no friends.  It is gross to watch you eat and we can actually hear your arteries hardening.  Either get your fat ass on a treadmill, reduce your calorie intake to something less that 8,000 a day or die.  Your choice.

If I have left anyone out or if anyone else has any to add to this list, please feel free to let me know.

Currently listening : Recipe for Hate By Bad Religion Release date: 21 September, 1993

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