Lots of change going on but for those of you who don't know - I am moving to San Francisco. The Universe responded to my pleas to be in a place that I can hopefully thrive.
This really is going to be tough but I cannot imagine not giving this my best shot.
First off - new old pic of the just turned 15 Brian tearing up a pool !
This weekend is the last one of the summer job thing and that means I'm back on the books full force !!!
Which would also mean I'm sending out YET ANOTHER bulletin and blog about the writeups from my models - I've put examples at the bottom so you can read some of the others. I know that all of you are literate - most of you are very literate - I'm going to guess that MORE than half of you have been published.
Something of note here is the audience we're helping. I've been doing some work with some therapists running a center for eating disorders and they think that this book will be very helpful to them becasue their clients have no idea what real women look like. When I say real women I'm talking to all of you - because I'm not cutting away pounds from you in photoshop like all the media and ad agencies do. ---------------------------------------------------------------
What led you to pose nude for Brian ?
Out of all the photographers that approached me over the years in the Orlando art community, only Brian's work had the vitality and expressionism of true sensuality - his work has never been T & A schlock. Secondly, I only had to talk to him once to understand what he was trying to do. With most photographers – from the moment they approached, I either got a completely creepy vibe off them, or after speaking with them felt they were only in it to see naked girls. He, quite plainly, is not interested in just naked girls. He is interested in capturing an essence, an idea, and conveying that idea on film. He's about bypassing the stereotypical ideals our society holds about beauty and seduction. He's about taking the shocking and making it elegant and taking the elegant and making it shocking.
Further, over the course of our conversations, I realized that I was gaining a lot of inspiration from his work, and the imagery of his photos was appearing in my paintings – and eventually vice-versa, as the Inspired By show was all about – and I wanted to go deeper into that inspiration and experience and see what else was there – about myself, my own work, and the unique relationship he and I have as artists.
There is not a single thing I regret about working with Brian and I doubt the same could be said had I worked with another photographer (a doubtful scenario in itself – I can't recall how many times I made him laugh by blowing off another photographer, or giving him their cards after they approached me at an art show. Seriously – I don't think a single show went by were at least one photographer approached me. Crazy). In fact, I think working with him, both in concept and actuality, has made me a better artist. I have enjoyed every shoot - be it in the studio or in an ice cold river - and I look forward to working with him again.
JP
The thing I like about Brian's work is that you don't look primped and made-up and fake. You look like yourself, but better: like you3.
KH
I am not what would one would consider a normal model. I am not reed thin, waifish or have cheekbones so sharp they threaten to cut those who air kiss too close. In fact I am fat. I am plump. I have curves and meat and parts of my body I'm not as proud of as others. In short, I am one of the millions of women whom society throws under a blanket and makes feel unattractive and undesirable because I don't fit into the mold as defined by fashion magazines and clothing manufacturers.
Plain and simple, when Brian approached me I was hesitant. I was thinking, as I'm sure he'd heard quite often, "Here was just another pervert looking for a cheap thrill." So I did what any relatively intelligent girl does. I researched him. I got references from others in the Orlando art community. I viewed his portfolio online and talked to him several times before agreeing to do any shoots.
After the first test shoot, which was rather comfortable and oddly entertaining, I was hooked. The images he created from what some would consider unpalatable made me realize just how much beauty is taken from the person and not just her body. He has a talent for making a woman feel as extraordinary as she should. And reminded me that sensuality and allure come from within, shining through the plain orthodox definition of who I am.
HW
As an adult actress/model, I'd always had a dream of presenting real bodies to the erotic media world... But it was one thing to say that I wanted to support other talent entering my newly created adult company with their normal, average beautiful bodies -- and accepting my own "imperfect" body.
An almost sharp and startling contrast to the acceptance I've shown to so many others, my inner critique would pick apart my every flaw. Almost with the same words a dozen photographers and video makers had thrown at me, or their scowling gazes.
Brian quickly became nearly the only photographer I would work with. He never questioned my looks, my style, my body. He never criticized or sniped. And even with the odd things I sometimes had him point a camera at -- ranging from covering myself in transparent blue goo, to foot fetish shots and much more -- the most he ever did was raise an eyebrow in amusement at the unusual situations I'd present him with.
Not only is he one of the most talented photographers I've ever worked with, we share the same goal -- to help society re-embrace the true beauty of our bodies and sexuality, untainted by false values of supposedly "perfect" sex-toy-dolls.
It wasn't until I started working with Brian that I started to respect my own image. It wasn't until I'd been working with him for a while that I started to have fun during my own shoots, the nervousness and panic attacks faded and I could enjoy myself in front of the lens...
AS
Before I met Brian, I had never given any thought at all to posing nude, for the sake of art or for any other reason. I assumed I was too big after the birth of my son to be visually attractive to anyone anymore. I met him through friends at a party and he had a portfolio of his work. Before I opened the book, I was fairly sure that this guy must just be trying to see women naked. I was wrong. Not only was his work beautiful, it encompassed women of every body type. It's evident that Brian sees beauty in the form of every woman in some way and he knows how to showcase it with his pictures.
I was a nervous wreck when I was posing the first time. He made me feel comfortable and eventually I was able to laugh and have fun with it. When I saw the prints, I was proud of how I looked for the first time since highschool. That experience gave me a new confidence and lead to other opportunities, not to mention I gained a wonderful friend. I'm honored to be part of his collection. I believe in his dream.
Tiffini Blackwell
After seeing his work and talking to him about it, you want to take your clothes off for him.
BT
Becoming an image, a piece of art, is a challenge and a dream come true. When your picture is seen by other people, through the eyes of Brian, you are still you. He just helps bring out the side that wants to hide.
And the side that wants to hide is usually the art itself.
Becoming art was easy with Brian....my WHOLE life has been dedicated to art in one form or another. I have met a TON of artists in my life, but none can make you smile and then frown all in one breath. His art does not show a picture of some naked girl or some erotica pose with lights...his art reflects the woman or man inside the flesh. When posing for Brian, I felt like a queen posing for an old world artist. His focus and hope make his art bleed out the fake and mundane. When I look at the pictures of myself...I still see me but I see what his eyes saw in me....and I like the new vantage point.
Well yesterday was a fairly quiet day at the river office and I got some time to read an autism spectrum disorder book. It did reveal some things to me that I'd not previously considered. I think the most shocking of all of them was "the dream", the dream of having a normal wildly successful child who grows up to be an astronaut or doctor or whatever. I don't have that, I think the only thing that comes close is I wish my kid weren't QUITE as weird as he is.
I want him to be happy, and anyone who knows him knows that he is, he is a ray of sunshine. I never considered that he would turn out "normal" unless it were due to some sort of adolescent rebellion. He's got not normal parents who love him and accept him even when he has on mom's necklace and shoes and is running around claiming to be a fairy princess. He's going to be OK because he's not being raised by crazy people and nearly hopelessly damaged at the age of 5 like his dad.
In the end he's truly worth it because when his speech therapist (moron) wants him to fill in the blank on "Daddy and I go outside to the driveway to wash the ___" my kid will answer "WEASELS !!!"
So as my wife laid out in her blog, we took Crash to the doctor yesterday and got the following diagnosis : "You probably won't be surprised to hear he has a mild degree of high-functioning autism."
Yeah - not surprised a bit. I've accepted that his Hyperlexia puts him in an autism spectrum disorder as they're calling it. The thing that hit me was how the doctor answered my rhetorical question of "Well, can we fix him?" . He went on to explain that Crash was developmentally impaired and that with some understanding and therapy he'll probably start to come into his own about when he hits high school. A lot of what's been going on in my head lately came together at once and I am dealing with the fact that I was probably in the same boat at his age and that I've still got some remnants of autism. Of course the other part of this is the guilt that's been creeping up on me because I know that he's gotten this straight out of my gene codes.
There is a lot of other stuff going on in my head and I'm sure it will come out shortly.
More stuff about the book and those testimonials ...
OK, I've got a great opportuniy here on Friday, I'm attending the unveiling of Gordon Onslow Ford's 2003 painting "Spontaneous Apparitions" and some of my work will be featured at the venue as well. A true honor for me, Gordon was the last surviving member of Andre' Breton's surrealist group.
Also at this shindig will be a former editor of Aperture Magazine - THE International Photo Art Mag. It would be really nice if I could get those quotes about what you got out of working with me in a draft of the book before this party. This person has the ability to fast track me and get this thing published and promoted.
Please do not think that someone else will do this - because they won't. Don't think you don't have anything to say, because you do, tell why you did it, if you had fun, whatever ... I'll send you nice big pictures!
So anyway at the start of March I get this infection - subdermal staph - or what they usually refer to as flesh eating bacteria.
As you can see fun just doesn't describe it. A nice little condition that can result in death - which would suck - especially if it's worse than the cure. The cure involves nasty antibiotics, every other day, with a big guage needle, in the ass.
I'm mostly recovered, still some pain but nothing big. But since I've been spending most of my time drooling in pain let's just say that if you haven't ordered a print or DVD lately - now would be the time ...
So in my spare time I've been working on the book - currently up to 86 pages - and I'm trying to find what's missing. The photography is easy actually - I've been making huge portfolios for years and now it's paying off.
What I stuill need is more commentary from my models or just anyone in general that has been touched by my work. Share whatever you want really I just feel that it should be included.
angsty
