Frustrated Arg!

I am so frustrated right now. I am trying to find a place online that I can fill out applications for small start up business grants. Ri was kind enough to help me, by sending me links... Unfortunately they read in business and legal terms so I don't know what the hell they are saying or they just lead to continuous clicks to other pages that link to other pages. I don't understand it. If I do find a site that I understand and sounds promising you have to pay for a "kit". What the hell do I need a kit for?? I need $$ so I can get my business going. Word of mouth just isn't enough anymore. Anyway. I can't figure out how to do this -- how to research. Everything I google doesn't give me anything I understand. I am growing ever frustrated. I don't want to get a loan because 1) I will NEVER be approved for one and 2) I don't want to have to pay it back.

I am getting so frustrated with my inability to understand these websites I want to cry! I won't as I know that does no good. I wish I knew someone that would say to me, "Lolita, I believe in you and think your work is magnificant. I think what you are doing is a great idea! Here is $5000, go get yourself a better camera, equiptment, website, advertisement, and get yourself legal." Ok... I lied... I wish I knew 3 people that would do that.

I don't understand what these websites are trying to tell me. I don't know where I need to go to find the grant money I need to start up my woman run small business. I don't understand any of it. It's very discouraging and makes me want to give up!

Now, with all that ranting done. I need to remind myself of something I am greatful for. My dogs love me and they put up with my constant computer usage. I have talent, the "eye", and can develope the skill quite quickly, so that when I do get my feet off the ground, I can and will be successful. As discouraging as it is that is it taking so long for me to develop a business understanding and start up capitol, I have to focus on knowing that for what I do have to work with... I am damn good!

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Halloween Special from Lolita Haze Photography!

Book your session now!

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The British are Coming.

I have mad crushes on 3 of the biggest British assholes in tv. Seriously they make me rawr! In no particular order; Piers Morgan, Simon Cowell, and Gordon Ramsey I would do them all! Oh yes, yes I would!

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Wow! Was today full of hot!

I had to pay off my speeding ticket today. After I realized that the court was only 3.2 miles away and not downtown, I decided to ride my bike there. It was warm out with a slight overcast so I was a bit worried that it might rain on my way over there. I couldn't help but to think of this drawing that ShooShooBaby made for me yesterday.

As soon as I hopped on my bike (no helmet) and began to ride to the court house it became mad humid outside! By time I arrived at the court house I was a sweaty pig. Not a big deal -- I just run in to see the judge and run out...

Except when I saw the judge... OH MY LORD! Was he pretty!! HOT HOT HOT! Seriously, I had to put my glasses on to make sure that I was really seeing this beautiful man creature. Oh my goodness... his hair... his hair... THUD! I think my sweaty body created a force field of invisibility as he wasn't susceptible to my charms. :( He didn't even look up at me when he was doing his dealio. *frowny face* I didn't even get his name so I could write on my notebook.. Mr. and Mrs. Judge. Holy hell he was beautiful... makes me want to go back so I can try to swoon him all over again. :)

Riding back the 3.2 miles home was brutal. 6.4 miles today. It sucked, but I loved every minute of it!! I am so happy it is cooling off again so I can start riding my bike around!

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A new leaf?

Perhaps... or perhaps it will just be a pleasant, but fleeting thought. I complain far too much. I am tired of being negative and ungrateful. Quite frankly I am exhausted of the negative Nellies and ungrateful Gretas around me. I mean sure, we all have bad days and certain things suck, but damn... It's wearing me out to read all the pity parties... I know I know. I am not innocent here. I am referring to myself also. But this is me taking back my silver lining!! I want you all to find it too! We focus far too much on what sucks in life that we miss out on all the love and happiness the world has to offer. About what we do have. We could have 2 out of 3 things, but we focus on the 1 we don't have. Soon those other 2 things are going to give up trying to win our love and fade away. I speak of positive energy here. I am being worn down by half empty glasses. I may not have the greatest things in life, but I have a home, boys that love me, and the greatest most supportive understanding friends anyone can ask for! So to everyone in my world, I ask you... I know you will need to vent... I know we all have crap in our lives, but please, end your whine with a happy thought. When all seems hopeless... find something good in your life that will make you smile. Even if you have to crack a joke... Just smile, because there are people in this world who would LOVE to have only the troubles you are having.

My happy thought. I watched a show on Dateline, I think it was, and it was an inspiring story. A community reached out to the drug dealers and in 4 months turned around the community to a happier safer area. I am describing it horribly and not giving it the justice it deserves, but darn it, it was an inspiring heart warming story of change.

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Farewell Lord Bowler!

I am so sad to hear this... Actor Julius Carry passed away it is reported. Julius Carry III played my favourite character on my favourite show ever. He was Lord Bowler on The Adventures of Brisco County Jr. Many will know him as Sho' Nuff, but to me he will always be Lord Bowler. :( I am sad... He was 56.

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Lolita Haze Photography -- In case you didn’t know...

Lolita Haze Photography is having a special through August. Schedule a session for August and receive 20% off your package!

For more information head over to Lolita Haze Photography.

I specialize in retro pinup and glamorous vintage Hollywood!

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Bernie Mac

I was sad to read about his passing today. I really liked him and thought he was a great honest comedian. I don't want to believe it. He was so young. :(

 

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FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO WENT TO SDCC08

YOU ALL SUCK! HAHAHAHA I know for a fact that BOTH the Reno 911 guys (specifically Thomas Lennon) and the American Gladiators were there!! Thank you SOOOOOO much for thinking only of yourselves on your vacation enjoying your own time and NOT getting me my photos/autographs/penis photos!

YOU ALL SUCKITY!

Hahahaha

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More Gladiator Banners

I finished up the boys today. I have them all as individuals but I am only going to post my favourites. If you want anyone else just let me know.









Of course... My favourite of them all...

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