the Question why ... can i never get back to you
Category: Writing and Poetry

The Question why

you asked a question
and i answered you
so far my love i am confused
can you answer me when i ask you why
you can fall away
it seems they always do

And i can walk this world
alone and without you
wander into this maze of truth and lies
and never be found again

But i don't want to go there
i want to remain here with you
you're in all my dreams
you're my point of view
you always were

when you were not with me
i was alone inside my heart
twiddling my thumbs
biding my time with forced smiles
but then you came to me out of the blue
soft spoken beautiful words of truth

And i embraced you
with my questions why
on my lips to yours

You are my wonderall

Now i say my love
i will nolonger question time
i won't pave the way with what ifs
i won't underline the commited words
nor ask anymore the reasons why i am
or am not with you

You were once with me
so my eyes can see reflections of us
eating cotton candy in a lost dream
watching the stars
as reality sings it's saddest song

And my ears don't want to hear
what i know to be true
even though we were once together here

i will never again
get back to you

Larry Gaddy 2008

2:54 PM - 14 Comments - 26 Kudos - Add Comment

When we were in love ...
Category: Writing and Poetry

When we were in Love

She waits behind her eyes
and i know it won't be long now

Don't want to say goodbye, are you already gone?

i look at you and i sing the saddest song
i sing it to you when your eyes are closed
sleep wraps around you
tonight you're mine to hold, mine to love
for a little while, to kiss goodnight
if you could only see me smiling

Tonight i watched you sleep
in my bed alone i was standing in the doorway
you are all i own

All my life i spent waiting for you
now you're right here
but it won't be long
you're gonna disappear you always do
and i'll still be here wishing you would come home

So instead of slipping into these sheets beside you
i stand in the doorway watching from across the room
you are sleeping now in this bed of mine
under sheets you bought me in our time

Together once found us in love there
from across this room i found a smile again
in a doorway and down a hall
you are sleeping in my room
and i know one day i'll want to come back here
just to find you in my bed again

between sheets you bought me
when we were in love

Larry Gaddy  2008

2:58 PM - 6 Comments - 18 Kudos - Add Comment

A cold December ...
Category: Writing and Poetry

A Cold December

It was a night like tonight but colder
i could see the frost in the window
and the cold chill in the air
you rest beside me you hair falls across your eyes
the winter rain beats down on me
i gently touch your hair pushing it back from your face

to reveal the beauty that lies still

my hand streams down your back
down your leg and back again
i watch you while you're sleeping
are you somewhere in a dream

flashes of light dance through your mind as you sleep
sometimes there you hold me and you love me
and we walk again through the meadow by the brook barefoot
and the smell of roses fill the air
as the leaves fall gently to the ground

i stand before you with a dandelion in my hand pulling gently
just to watch the pedals flow and dance in the air
a gentle ballet as i dance with you in these daydreams
and these memories i've fallen into inside my heart

sometimes when your thinking about something you once did
i hope you find a memory there of when i was with you
and we are walking hand in hand
when you do, please hold me there
for i am somewhere holding you in mine

and every christmas eve at midnight
when you wake up and head down the hall
passing by the twinking lights
reminds you of a christmas eve you spent with me

as the snow falls on the window pane
through the frost you can see into the night
and you almost believe for a moment that i am there
i am with you, walking through the shadows of your night
i have been there and will remain there forever
as my love for you is forever within me

until the end of space and time
forget me not ...i love you

Larry Gaddy

11:32 AM - 10 Comments - 18 Kudos - Add Comment

For the love i once knew, we will always have the sunrise
Category: Writing and Poetry

"Can't get there from here"

Her chin rests on my shoulder
she squeezes me tight
i guess she knows it's over
and this will be our last night together

when morning comes my life with her
will be left only in memories of days gone by
and wasted wishes

she says she loves me ever softly in my ear
and by the light of this moon
i can't  make her understand the man inside of here
i kiss her one last time on her lips so red
and begin to say goodbye as only i can

if i could only say i love her still
if my sincerity could wipe those tears away
i would say to her

come ride with me forever
on this carosel of time
help me rethred this needle of hope
to mend the fabric of our lives
so patch marked and un raveled
by the days of us

but we would surely spin into despair
as so many times before
so placing my hands upon her shoulders
i give a slight caress
then push her away from me

our eyes meet their last
i force a smile and say to her
i guess this was our last ride

closing her eyes she releases tears
of lost hope or bent desire
she says to me, Don't go
my lips quivering i pull her close and hold her there
for that final hour i once dreamt about
has at last found me

that night was so long ago
and even still i love the girl
she may never know how hard it was for me
to say goodbye to her

and as my days here draw to a close
i know the end waits somewhere out there
she will read this at last
somewhere down the line
and stand again in that night with me
for a little while

and in her heart
i will not go this time

instead we will drive away the night
as castaways in a dream
holding hands all the way
to Floridas east coast
then by the shore we'll await the sunrise
as the waves wash ashore
washing over you and i
turning from the moon so full
i write our names in the sand

then looking deep into those
pale blue eyes
i say i have to go

you say the morning has yet to dawn
still i can't stay here with you
just know i love you

thats what i came to say
the sun will rise here without me
but in your sweetest dreams
i'll always find you
then wiping a tear away
i fade into a yesterday long forgotten

as our names roll away with the tide
you wake in these sheets soaking wet
the sun shines in through a window
into your eyes

Goodbye my love
we have finally seen

our Sunrise

Larry Gaddy

7:46 PM - 6 Comments - 12 Kudos - Add Comment

a letter once written ... to someone i once loved in time
Category: Writing and Poetry

to sum this up, she was someone i met a few years back on myspace
and with any virtual dream, we sometimes venture in too deep
she had it all, and i have my little world. so when the decision was made to turn from love or pursue it, this was the choice i made ....

Dearst Lisa

You are are my autumn
You're in the colored leaves that fall
In their twisting rhythm
To the ground, scattered all around
And their moments stalled
Seeming somehow beautiful
Until they wither away. Blending into the earth
Until another day in Fall when the leaves change.

I don't want this to be a poem
I just want to tell you how I fell.
How I love the thought of loving you.
And it seems so real
Maybe its a beautiful vasade. Maybe its here to stay
Tomorrows will be filled with memories
And pictures of places we've never been
Diving off the coast of Costa Rica
Maybe a honeymoon in Spain. I would settle for a corner in your room.
Just to watch you sleeping
To know your dreaming, beautiful dreams of me
 
I regret that I don't have more to offer you
Besides the dreamer in my head. I did once
I rolled the dice to regret. But nothing ventured, nothing gained. I regret you're injuries. Then at the same time I am thankful for the moment, that lead us here. I am a real man! I will always respect, and even fight for your honor! I didn't have the luxury of wealth to be handed down to me. As you have. I wish I had. And yet I am glad I didn't. As a child I was poor and sad. And in that sadness I created a fantasy world. One where I was a Knight, rescuing damsels in distress. And carrying them off into the sunset. My Dad didn't even give me his name!
A title, a substance of worth. But I survived the ridicule. Never understanding why as a child, that I didn't even have a bicycle. I knew we were poor. But I swore to my mother I would be something more. And I was for awhile. She was always proud of me! But her lease on life, expired last year. And I thank my God above that she never saw me here today! A failure in his pursuit of wealth. I rolled those dice, with all I had. And I lost! And to be honest with you, I had a wonderful plan. One that would fulfill my dreams. But I was crushed. As you were almost killed in a freak accident. Financially I went from a socialite to dust on the wind. Watched my money blow away. After 10 long years, of saving for the dream.

So Lisa, I do love so much, the thought of loving you
And money to me is piss in the wind. I wouldn't trade my ugly dog
For all the Gold in Rome!
I would live in a sycamore tree
Just to see a better view of the moon.
But you my dear are from a different breed
You had a wonderful Dad
that gave you a token of love.
And you mean the world to me, it is truly you I love. But I wonder if they will accept me
For me? Will your brother thumb his nose? Will your father see the gift I bring not covered in Gold
Will your mother from far away greet me with a hug. And the warmest kiss on my cheek?

I am going to always be me! And I alone, let my fortune be lost. But I can make it all back again. As I did the first time, all alone. No help from God or man
And I will again, with or without love.

I just wanted you to understand, I don't think a number defines a man
And I have purchased for many in my hay day
But have never wore an ounce of Gold.
I think too much I guess. I wonder maybe if you would be better off without me?
The other guy seems so much better suited financially
And would perhaps be better received by your family

To be honest with you Lisa
I have never coveted riches. Even when I had it!
I spent it traveling
For me the memories were worth more
Than a dwelling, a Mercedes, a summer home

And at this point in my humbled life
I would trade it all, for a meadow in the Scottish hills
Where I could watch Otis run UN tethered and alone.

Maybe this will shed some light on me
Maybe you will approve or disbelieve
But I am a real man! I don't define my worth
In numbers, or books sold
I define myself in the words I write
In the the tears I have cried alone.
And I may never be a richer man
But I have no doubt that when I am dead and gone. Pages of me will be read
In bedrooms that find those who are alone
And there in the dead of night. A simple phrase I once said
Will define my worth
as a woman
cries alone in her bed.

So to the socialites, the yuppies, the aristocrats
You lot mean little to me! I adore the simple poor
Who have nothing, but instead choose to dream

Life to me, is a sunset. The way the sky becomes purple and pink
A blanket to lay on, a bottle of red wine
a corkscrew a single rose ... And my beautiful you

But I will gladly say goodbye
With my fakest smile on. If you choose
The high road, the IRA's the stocks bought and sold
I cannot with honor define your life.
Only you can choose To be my wife.

But if you do! Its for the simplest me
The man who sits in the moonlight, late at night
Watching you sleep. While he writes
on pages for you
I may never make a dime, for the words I write
Through these eyes of mine. But inside of here
I have seen distant moons, far off lands. Flowers that have never bloomed
I have stood under starry skies. And in rocket ships
I have breached the night. Heading for the darkside
Of the moon, just to look at this sphere
of the bluest earth and all her years
Just to remember you to Dressed in blue
bringing out your eyes
Hiding all the tears you've cried.
For your losses far and wide
Would you dine with me, on the darkest side?
Nestled in the lunar dust
Hiding within our fairytale
the earth far away a beautiful blue balloon
You and me with a bottle of time.
A mystery found in a dream of mine

And a captured moment
Of honor, commitment ... trust
Laughing and even crying
Making love then dying

On the darkside
Of the most beautiful moon
But the wonder of it all ...

Was the night I spent
In a dream I had
When life was sent
And in my night
My God once lent me

One single night ... With you

7:18 AM - 11 Comments - 20 Kudos - Add Comment

without language we can finally find ... communication
Category: Writing and Poetry

"Remanisce"

Have I told you lately

Time after time

Does the memory waiver in your minds eye

Savoring kisses lost

Days spent at a sinners cost

Hanging on the cross of love

Forbidden fruit is the touch of you

Silkened skin and tasteless thoughts of us

Waves washing in on forgotten shores

I don't know how to love anymore

It seems in time the forget me not's

Become forget me oftens

And the days turn to nights too soon

For dreamers to sleep and pretenders

Pretend to understand

The molecules in the dust of us

In their words are lies

In their eyes are distrust

And the fakeness in their eyes

Are noticed by the few who hear the chimes

And tick tocks tocking become dear friends of mine

Recognized by their constant sound

And my teardrops taste of you

And my memories of us are better now

That I've added my truth

So listen with your ears to what I am saying

But not with my tongue

Then maybe somehow

Without language we can finally

Communicate

Our I love you's

Larry Gaddy  2008

8:17 AM - 8 Comments - 16 Kudos - Add Comment

for the Fallen Soldiers ... we’ll remember you!
Category: Writing and Poetry

Fallen Soldier

Caught up in a fire fight
Been up all night
Helmet smells of blood and sweat
Best friend just died beside me
Pinned down now
I can't trust my instinct
to show compassion or love
Sand in my eyes
camouflaged against a mosaic
of tan and red

I don't want to die
But neither did any soldier
That stepped foot on foreign soil
Ten millimeter rounds and small arms fire
Is the only sound I now hear
Lost out here in desert sands
Iraqi soil forgotten land
If I die I do so for you
So you can drive your SUV
And watch the news asking why
We as humans do what we do
In the name of God
In the name of religion
In the name of justice
In the falsehood of truth

It's a beautiful night here
I could see the stars
If it weren't for the streamers
The fighting the dying
The sky that's on fire
With the hatred of us

When can I leave here
Will I be alive dead or dying
Is my Mom somewhere tonight crying

Will I see my wife
My son
My daughter
My father

Cigarettes regrets
Palm trees and gasoline
Soon I fear
I won't remember

Life at all

Larry Gaddy  2008

8:19 AM - 3 Comments - 6 Kudos - Add Comment

Tears in the rain ... and lost Goodbyes
Category: Writing and Poetry

"Sweetest lover"

We make decisions

they define our lives

following paths made by others

long since gone

and turned to ghosts

life is fragile my love

and on this great scale of time

we're born to die

I need you now

without the factors

of what may be lost

near tomorrows end

who needs tomorrow

let's have today

with her blue sky

or sky so gray ... closing in

You may fall from grace

with tears streaming down you face

when you lose hope again

And our time together may end

but if it does we can always say

we had yesterday

her memories, the pictures

that froze us in time

With smiles on

with love in our hearts ...

Take this chance with me

or fall away from me

and let me linger on without you

You my sweetest lover

you my dearest friend

at night I sleep alone with the radio on

just to drown out the silence

and I once walked the cobblestone streets

of St. Augustine in the rain

just because my umbrella was keeping my dry

Now my eyes hide the reason

and my tears no not the season

for Goodbye ...

Larry Gaddy  2008

8:05 PM - 7 Comments - 14 Kudos - Add Comment

the last Fairy tale of love ...
Category: Writing and Poetry

10:18 PM - 13 Comments - 28 Kudos - Add Comment

My imaginary girlfriend ... is Crazy
Category: Writing and Poetry

It started out innocent enough

The illusion had a name and it was Susan

She was a beautiful figment of my imagination

although in the moment she was my figmented flower
she began to wilt and lose her pedals over time

The internet, weeding out the truths from lies

Even still she is a friend of mine

Oh what Google times me and my sore fingers have had

It all started on a summer's eve

I logged in to MySpace to leave a blog

About a poem I had written

On a napkin at a bar while I was drinking
One among my messages stood out

Glowing like a neon sign through the haze of a smoke filled room at closing time

My princess with pom poms

My Susan in her distress

Had found me among the writing in poetry blogs

A phrase I had said caught her eye, she said

So I did what any man would do when a beautiful woman says hi

At least when there's no link attached to a porn site

And even some times then I admit I often wander through the faces

Yes, the faces

Oh yes I lie

Anyway it seems I've strayed from the point I set out to make

The virtual world is a deceitful place

Made up of inadequacies, insecurities and bare faced lies

From people pretending to be something they could never be

Because they are to afraid or pathetic to even try

In this virtual world the one where it seems we spend more and more of our real

Heart pumping breathing the polluted air lives

Now that's a broad analogy of mine

Since I have met some of my truest and dearest friends online

Still it's a place of deceit

And you have to question everything

But it seems I had a story to tell

Damn I knew I was dyslexic

Ok I am getting to the story after the point I'm trying to make and a few clichés along the pages

I will eventually reach my destination

So let me start again and try

I once knew a girl named Susan

Or at least that was her screen name

She was full of passion and longing

Had a wonderful innocent smile

Very articulate very intelligent and we became online friends

That eased into virtual lovers

She told me her deepest secrets and in time I confided in her all of mine

Pictures sent .. some naughty most nice

Texting good morning

How is your day

A soft voice remembered

Pictures in folders on a desktop within a screensaver of her

She had a sad story

I lent her an ear

Sweet dreams my love when the day went away

The phone calls that lasted for hours on end

The silence that lingers when there is only a dial tone

She blended in suttle truths among the best forgotten lies

I am married probably should have came up in conversation

Before six months of dedication

But then who am I to decide the good in mankind

Their honesty their heartfelt truths

All I am is a man

One of conviction and principle and truth

Well at least when I'm not lying

All joking aside, it was one of the best love stories of mine

Added reason to my somewhat wasted lonely life

Over a glass of merlot and dinner for one

I often set a place for her

Gazing at a ghost voices in my distance wasted

For I heard not a one, I was in love

Lost in the fairies tale of hope

And all the while drinking to find the inspiration

To write the words I would soon forget

'I love you' comes so easy when there is no commitment

Other than a text an email a phone call

Now and then to a stranger you love

Devotion is an epitaph placed on many virtual graves

I found out about you, now we're through

Then what is truly wasted?

Time in a bottle

Days, hours, weeks, years?

Love is timeless without end

It blinds us

Chains binds us

Tortures then is kind to us

It's our virtual friend

Until the lies break down and the truths unfold

The tears fall on hands so cold

And I came to realize my imaginary girlfriend is crazy

But I am crazier than she

For believing something so beautifully written could be real

Pictures on postcards or comments on pages

Names changing as time ticks away

Nothing ever really changes

Just the moments in the days

Our youthful faces turn to dust

All these silly things lost on pages that no one reads anymore

Goodbye Susan of Carolina in your mansion on your hill

Time will soon forget you….

But my love, I never will

By Larry Gaddy 6/1/08

12:27 PM - 18 Comments - 36 Kudos - Add Comment

it’s a Summers day, somewhere far away

it's a lovely day, somewhere so, so far away

Today I was thinking of us

The wind was blowing through the trees

and the birds were singing on the branches

Sunset was close at hand and I was taking chances

On memories of us

Once you were my everything

You were in every breath exhaled

You were always beside me

Inside my heart

You did, have, and will always

reside

I love you as I have loved you all my lifetime

Ups and downs sides to sides

Standing our ground

exhaling lies some to amuse or misuse trust

still we are here today apart yet together

Living separate lives

Waking every new found day in separate beds

Under separate sheets

Heads contour to pillow cases

Dreams find the lonely in a lover's garden

Picking roses begging pardons

Picnics under old oak trees

Cheers my truest love

To what was once the you

in me

Larry Gaddy

7:06 AM - 17 Comments - 34 Kudos - Add Comment

the world through my eyes ...
Category: Writing and Poetry

The World Through My Eyes

 What is outside my view of us

Time and time distorted hues

Faint pastels and cherry chews

I relive my childhood for awhile

Whatever happened to my dreams

Punch a clock hands tick all day

Sunsets seem so far away

As yesterday wasted and the kisses

Now tasteless but still remembered

Through my hazel eyes the world is skewed

Twisted wasted in fog of lies and makeshift truths

By those who govern us

And give us our point of views

I prefer to see with my own eyes

Believing none of what I hear

And even less of what I see

Writing mythical pages on the parchment of my mind

Paying in poets wages

Speaking aloud on wooden stages

With the hint of jasmine on the wind

Maidens in their faded dresses

Lords and knights conversing in the hall

Summoned to court to please the Queen

The King is out chasing conquests and fortune

While mine is won with words

And forked tongue spilling half truths

Or Goddamn lies just to bed the lonely prize

To see her through my eyes as the jester in a court of fools

And leather laced with armor and swords

My gauntlet lingers with the remnants of red wine and muscadines

And on my finger is a ring

One kissed by the lips tastes of lavender with untied laces

Oh the tender faces I have seen

Lost in thought yet never caught

Alas, long live the King

By Larry Gaddy 5/21/08

5:54 PM - 12 Comments - 22 Kudos - Add Comment

A Beautiful memory, a life thats less than done, more of a hum than a song
Category: Writing and Poetry

"A beautiful dream"

What a lovely place I found in peaceful slumber

Under a weeping willow tree in a land of wonders

Between a yawn and the roll of thunder

I woke to find a purple sky

Blossoms bloom cherry red and amber fields

With a hint of gold is all that blows tonight

Through my weary head

I love you but I can't go on

Only in death my ghost of lust and love can sleep last forever

And then some

I will wake again in morrow and I will perish in my pillow

Worn away with constant turning and wet with tears

Reminding me in a far away place called a beautiful dream you were here

And as these walls of truth close in again

I expel these thoughts of you

At least until the moon hangs just outa touch and you again are in my arms laughing

Speaking words I long to hear to the pitter patter

Of my now most broken of broken hearts

As the sun shines in on my turmoil my solitude my recklessness to get back to you

To sleep to dream to laugh to love again with you

That is my purpose in life

To know it feel it touch and taste it

If not on earth then in the confines of this lonely room

On my midnight bed not yet dead

But nearest heaven

By Larry Gaddy

6:35 PM - 12 Comments - 24 Kudos - Add Comment

i once knew a girl, a life, a world, a place, a time, a story for you
Category: Writing and Poetry

I once knew a girl

Her eyes glowed with the mid day sun

Golden hair like violin strings so many chords to strum

The sound of autumn in springtime

Could I taste your lips my maiden fair

Lilacs and honey I am sure to find there

Afternoon paints your face faint pastels

Charcoals and gold

All these memories

I am left to hold

Fingers touch soften skin

Lips find the mouth that spoke the words

I often hear you in my sleep

Dreams I can't keep when I wake up

Will you marry me?