Scars; An Angel and Fate
Current mood: enlightened
Category: Writing and Poetry

http://www.webook.com/project/Admiring-Him

4:39 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

...A thought I had
Current mood: thoughtful

I don't know how to start... my life is far from perfect. I've made mistakes and I've done things people haven't liked. I've been rude, created drama, started shit, and dug myself a huge hole. Now, with what I've been trying to change, I've tried to make up for it. I've sat and I've cried my eyes out because of things I've done, even over things I haven't done, that I will never be able to change. But I hope my future, my plans for my life, will show everyone that I'm a completely different person, and I'm picking up the pieces of my life that I thought I would never be able to find. I've met some amazing people and I've met some real jerks, but everyone has left something about themselves that has taught me something.

I'm not perfect and I'll admit, I've tried to be, but that was a waste of time. I've grown to love the flaws and imperfections that I posses.

I've fallen unknowingly in love and didn't realize until I lost it. I've been in a near death experience and walked away without a scratch, I've said and done things I didn't like and I've hurt people who love me.

I'm a seventeen year old girl, whos life has just began... one of probably few that will admit when they're wrong and will honestly try to fix it.

I'm sorry to all of the people I've hurt and all the friends I've lost. I hope my senior year will be different, and everyone will see the real person I am. Because, as of right now, after I leave with the Navy, I'm not looking back, and the chances of you all seeing me here again are slim. There isn't anything in Walnut Ridge for me and I never want to see it again. But, of course, I'd visit family. But I won't stay long.

This is something that has been on my mind for a long time, and I'm sick of keeping it to myself. I've realized theres more to life than dwelling on the things I've done in the past and I'm ready to show everyone that I'm different and I'm ready for the future.

I love my family. I love my friends. And I finally, honestly and truely, love my life.

i don't know what the point to all of this is... but it was a thought i kind of wanted to share.....

7:06 PM - 0 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

My Tattooing Experience
Current mood: happy
Category: Life

Okay...so...I got a tattoo lol... yay

Anyway... So I get up there about four....with dad... and grandpa is already there (of course lol).... Anyway...so I got in there and fill out the form and dad has to sign..(blah blah blah)....well this older lady comes in there and says to me "He doesn't have to stay now that he's signed. If he wants to leave and come back he can."
First words out of dad's mouth is "Are you gonna be okay."
I shoulda said "no." because he bailed on me.. ... not cool dad...not cool

...ANYWAY

I wait for Fefe to get done with the woman in front of me because she was running behind... by this time I'm past excited and nervous and kind of scared... Before she's done... the older woman asked me what color I wanted it... I wasn't thinking and I said "blue and green.".. not really knowing if the two colors would go good together or not... when she told me how much is was... (which was $55)... I was like "Oo.. Let me add a cross"... That bumped it up to $65... I'm not complaining... I figured it would be more than that lol

So I get back there and everything... and I pull my shirt up over my shoulder (blah blah blah) and she cleaned my back with anti disinfectant I'm guessing, and all that good stuff....THEN I HEAR THE GUN START UP.... I felt like runnin... I won't lie lol..

She started at the bottom of the longest tail... and as she worked her way up to my shoulder, she started hitting bone...that hurt... along with the outline being the worst part anyway.... I didn't cry though... I'm being dead serious when I say that lol...

The color didn't hurt near as bad and it gave me the opportunity to go into my happy place and just kind of.....zone out... before i knew it... she was done.

After she gave me the directions of how to take care of it and everything, she put this...sort of like...plasitic wrap over it to protect it.. THAT STUFF WAS ANNOYING lol... It started to feel like a slight..like...carpet burn...

When I woke up this morning...it hurt a little...then i tried to move my left arm....it felt bruised. The tips of the tails and the beek are what hurt the worst when mom puts the stuff on it... All the redness is now..

It looks BEAUTIFUL! I'm really happy with it and the way Fefe did it. I'm still really excited about it.. Now I'm just waiting on that sudden urge to get another one  lol.. haha.

Yeah anyway.... lol...that's my story!!

8:00 PM - 1 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

My 1 o’clock in the morning random rant
Current mood: hungry
Category: Life

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHh
Now that that's taken care of....
How is everyone tonight?
Good I hope.
I should be in bed.
But I'm on the internet instead.

I moved to Walnut Ridge High School after Christmas.
It's sooooo much better than Hoxie.
I love the people
They're great
Fun to be around
hilarious..
but you do have the occasional "bad apple"
Haven't really ran into any of that yet..
And for the girl who thinks I'm going to steal her boyfriend..
If I wanted him, i'd have him already
She knows who she is and who I'm talking about

I love my display pic
I got bored one day
and started taking pictures and just turned the camera a little to the side.
It looks pretty cool lol

I want blue contacts....
I just want blue eyes...period.

I want to watch the Lion King... is that weird?
lol
Valentine's day was yesterday
Dad got me a little package thing.
It had a bear, a heart with chocolates in it and a necklace.
It was pretty coo
I slept with the bear last night
I haven't got around to eating the chocolate yet
But i will
I wish mom would get internet back on the computer at home
So I'll spend more time at home
...kind of a crappy reason not to be at home,
but I hang around quite a bit anyway

I'm getting a tattoo on May 9th at 4 o'clock..
I'm REALLLLY excited..
I'm not completely sure what I want yet though

My stomach growled:S

I'm sitting her trying to think of something else to type

I'm that bored...

I just wrote a poem...
It's not edited enough to be put on here yet though
I wonder if my iPod's charged yet...
It's been charging close to three days

Mrs. Moore's a trip
She's the choir teacher
She's awesome
Very up beat and smily
We're singing a WHOOOLE bunch of songs like;
There's a Hero
Tears in Heaven
Why We Sing
Remember Me This Way
Proud Mary
Um...that one song...I can't remember it
Don't Stop
....That's not it..... There's more...

I can't think of them though..DANG IT

Two of the guys are singing Love Potion 9
Pooh Bear (Patrick)
...and Preston :|
That boy bothers me..
Preston I mean..
He thinks he's so cool
and he thinks he knows everything
He really doesn't
And he has a crush on me and he's really annoying
and he's "going out" with Leah Dawn Miller...
How weird is that?
HE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW WHAT SHE LOOKS LIKE!
He complains all the time about how he can't find love and all this stuff
BECAUSE EVERYONE THINKS HE'S FULL OF SH!T!
And it's the truth! Sit down and have a conversation with that boy..
Find out for yourself if you don't believe me.

WOO TATTOO MAY 9TH!
JUST LIKE.... 80 more days...
Or something close to it..
(Says in rhythmic tone)
"I'm so excited! And I just can't hide it!"
(End of rhythmic tone)

I forgot to call Fender back...
whoops..

It bothers me that I can't find Shannon Curfman tabs anywhere...
grrrrrrr

I'm hungry

Mom's writing this story..and it's really cool...
...you'd have to read it though
...'cause I'm not gonna tell you about it
HAHA...
Sucks for you...
Loser...
:/

AAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNYYYYYYYYYYYways

I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts...diddley-de
There they are, standing in a row ...bum-bum-bum-bum
Big ones. Small ones...Some as big as your head!

Are ya Achin
yep yep yep yep yep
For some bacon
yep yep yep yep yep
He's a big pig
yep yep yep yep
YOU CAN BE A BIG PIG TOO!
OINK!

yeah..I wanna watch that movie...

I noticed I'm not as depressed as I was at the beginning of the school year.......
I'm really happy now.:D

Good for me! Right?! lol

I'm hungry

Bacon...hmmm...Yeah, i want bacon

and some eggs....
with hashbrowns...

hey..ihops open...

Nope. Broke.
Sorry Folks.
False alarm.



GOD I NEED TO GO TO BED..


Okay..Good night...lol

Nah, not really

My dad owns the spawn of satan...he really does.
That freakin bird is EVIL
He keeps telling me I'm gonna get it after he dies..
FORGET THAT! I'M COOKING THAT BIRD WHEN HE DIES!
Probably not.
I'll probably put up with it, just because it was his.


I'm learning how to play the guitar...
It's going okay so far.
I'm working on "When you walked into my life" by Lila McCann..
I know the first few lines by memory..
I'm still trying to figure out where all the chords and stuff are though
I'll have it before to long.. I'm really excited about it though
I like trying new things... It's pretty cool
My fingers are sore though..
I HAD TO CUT MY NAILS :'( on my left hand...because they kept getting in the way of the other chords...it really is kind of depressing..
I worked HARD to get those nails to grow that long without them breaking
and then i had to get that wildass hair to start playing that stupid guitar
...okay..it's not stupid..
but you get what I mean..

I'm hungry.


It's 1:30 AM..

I'm gonna cook me some bacon and eggs and go to sleep
....
....
....
...

Okay, I probably won't cook.
I'm just gonna go to bed.

Night All
Love Ya!

11:06 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Annoying things to do on an Elevator
Current mood: happy
Category: Life

Annoying Things To Do On An Elevator

1) CRACK open your briefcase or handbag, peer Inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"
2) STAND silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.
3) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.
4) GREET everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.
5) MEOW occasionally.
6) STARE At another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM" - and back away slowly
7) SAY -DING at each floor.
8) SAY "I wonder what all these do?" And push all the red buttons.
9) MAKE explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
10) STARE, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."
11) WHEN the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"
12) TRY to make personal calls on the emergency phone.
13) DRAW a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."
14) WHEN there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.
15) PUSH the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.
16) ASK if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.
17) HOLD the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"
18) DROP a pen and wail until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"
19) BRING a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.
20) PRETEND you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the Passengers.
21) SWAT at flies that don't exist.
22) CALL out "Group hug" then enforce it

5:40 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Life is great when you’re easily amused :)
Current mood: amused
Category: Friends

Well.... this is how easily amused me and my friends are.... let me explain..

People there:
Me (of course)
Amber
Tonya
Chad
Hall
Jennie
Wendy

We were sitting in McDonald's eating... (duh) when Amber wanted something to eat and didn't have any money...well Tonya gave Amber some money to get food.  After coming back with her food and the change from the money Tonya gave her, she layed it on the table.... And Tonya grabs the coins and starts making objects and stuff... then we all throw a couple coins in and did it too.... We had a lot of fun...

It's one of those "You just would've had to been there" type things.. All I can say is;

Life is great when you're easily amused :).

10:02 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

I don’t get attached;
Current mood: confused
Category: Romance and Relationships

I don't want a relationship unless you can prove to me that not all guys are the same. No your words don't mean a thing to me. No I can't trust you. No I don't believe you. Promises are nothingbut spoken words to me. I know I'm notyour one and only so don't say so. No, I'm not the world. No my beauty does not make your day. No my laughter isn't music. No I'm not a rebound so I'm not going to sit here and wait ill you're ready. And no I won't wait for your call. No you can't see the world in my eyes. No my smile isn't magic. No I'm not too good to be true; none the less your wishes came true. I am a princess; but not yours. I don't need your money. I'm not different, trust me. Really, I'm not looking for a fairy tale. I don't wish to be your everything, but I do want to be major. I don't need you to be thinking about me every second of the day. Make me believe that we can forget about the world just by holding my hand. Tell me I'm beautiful, but only if you mean it. Miss me when I'm gone, so I can miss you too. Let me become your favorite girl, so you can be my favorite guy. No I'm not looking for a prince.
I want a guy that wants me to be myself.

2:01 PM - 1 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

To the people who mean the world to me;
Current mood: loved
Category: Life

Mom
Dad
Granny and Grandpa
Mama Mama and Papa
Grandma and Grandpa Kerby
Pa
Sis
Aunt Debbie
The rest of the best family I could ever ask for
Miss Donna
Pat
Grandpa Jones
Walt
Britt
Jennie
B
Thomas
Garth

I love you guys...with all my heart. I've always been able to count on you to be there if I have ever needed you for anything. You guys would literally bend over backwards for me...even if you wouldn't think it were physically possible. Thank you so much. You know I would do the same and more for you. You've all played an AMAZING role in my life and without you I would be nothing. Even though a few on the list are deceased that doesn't mean I can't include them. I still love them the same...and more.. Having a family and friends like you is what makes me able to get up in the moring and smile...even without more than 6 hours of sleep.. I love you all very very very much. I some times take for granted what you all do for me... and I think that it is time to return the favor... If you ever need anyone, any time for anything... I'm here. My phone is always on... Even if it is 3 o'clock in the morning.. I may bitch while I'm taking you wherever you wanna go... but by God I'll be there. And I am always willing to do whatever it takes to help you out if you need it... I'm here to talk, listen, help, guide.... whatever and I know you all will always do the same thing.

I love you guys. You mean the world to me. I just wanted to make sure you knew..

2:41 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

’ I must be a good liar...’
Current mood: thoughtful
Category: Life

'I must be a good liar for you to honestly think that everything's alright.'

I read it over and over.
That sounds so familiar.
Where have I heard it before?
Oh yeah, that's right...
I said it to my best friend
before I broke down and cried.
It's hard to be me.
Harder than you think.
I've been used, mistaken, and ignored.
Lied to, cheated on, and verbally abused.
The last thing I want is the world to revolve around me
I just want to be encluded once in a while.
I wave and I smile
and sometimes they notice.
I feel like a ghost,
lonely, pail, and see-through.
I put on a front,
act like I'm not torn up.
And while I wave and smile;
'I must be a good liar for you to honestly thinkg that everything's alright.'
...That's what I think.

3:40 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

I Still
Category: Music

Who are you now?
Are you still the same
Or did you change somehow?
What do you do
At this very moment when I think of you?
And when I'm looking back
How we were young and stupid
Do you remember that?

No matter how I fight it
Can't deny it
Just can't let you go

I still need you
I still care about you
Though everything's been said and done
I still feel you
Like I'm right beside you
But still no word from you

Now look at me
Instead of moving on, I refuse to see
That I keep coming back
And I'm stuck in a moment
That wasn't meant to last (to last)

I've tried to fight it
Can't deny it
You don't even know

That I still need you
I still care about you
Though everything's been said and done
I still feel you
Like I'm right beside you
But still no word from you

No no
Wish I could find you
Just like you found me
Then I would never let you go (without you)

Though everything's been said and done (yeah)
I still feel you (I still feel you)
Like I'm right beside you (like I'm right beside you)
But still no (still no word) word from you

-BSB

9:30 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment