The Geometry of the Internet.

As we all may or may not remember from High School, geometry begins with postulates, and these are the postulates that govern the Internet. Not all of them, but the ones I can think of right now.

First Postulate:
Diminishing IQ - The Internet makes people stupid.
The rate of intelligence loss is not known, but people are more likely to do stupid things on the internet like give away personal information or buy something they really don't need, like 2 dozen contraband kangaroo scrotum bags.

Second Postulate:
The Porn Ratio. - The ratio of Porn on the internet to everything else on the internet shall never be less than 1:1.
This means that for every innane blog post you make or picture of your friends you post, somewhere someone is posting a picture or video of someone taking it in the butt. or face. or both.

Third Postulate:
Displacement of Identity - More often than not, people who represent themselves as Women are actually men, Men are boys, and Children are undercover law enforcement.

These are the Rules laid down by Netjova, God of the Internet. More to come later.

Currently listening : Nerdcore Rising By Mc Frontalot Release date: 26 November, 2005

9:00 AM - 1 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Communications from beyond, pt. 1.

Since I'm too lazy to come up with original content I'm going to start posting the strangely poetic randomly generated spams I've gotten. To stretch this resource as far as I can, and to keep from burning out peoples' attention spans/melting their brains with the profundity of them I'll only post one at a time. Enjoy!

heterogamous mingle sprawl babysitter

Unlike so many labyrinths who have made their ravishing ball bearing to us.
And confess the dark side of her girl scout.toward coward find lice on defined by bride,
or about cowboy seek around stalactite.living with steam engine, from globule,
and judge inside cup are what made America great!
Marquis and I took inside swamp (with guardian angel beyond satellite, for carpet tack.

Beautiful isn't it? I once tried to write weird stream of conciousness poetry like this, and was pretty good at it, but then I got these and any I knew that any effort would be an act of futilty.

9:54 AM - 3 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment

The Big Let Down

The other night I was scanning through the cable guide and saw that Comedy Central was playing The Big Lebowski, and I thought "SWEET!" so I changed channels to it, and quickly determined that it was not in fact The Big Lebowski, but King Pin. WRONG BOWLING MOVIE ASS HATS!

(specific song: What You Live By)

Currently listening : Little by Little... By Harvey Danger Release date: 25 July, 2006

10:23 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

The deeper wisdom of porn and spam.

In the face of ever increasingly sophisticated spam filters, porn spammers (the most innovated of spammers) have taken to including more and more sophisticated material in their emails, along with the titties. Here's one I just received today:

A scientific explanation looks for the "why" of the phenomena. In one way or another we need to bring a phenomenon back to its antecedents, and to construct a reasoning in the form of "if A, then B." For instance, if gravitational force has a particular value, then the acceleration with which material objects fall will be such. Description exposes the elements involved, and the connection to initial conditions gives us insight into the coherence between the elements of the description. "If..., then..." can, however, have different meanings. Whether an explanation is satisfactory depends on whether the one hearing the explanation is satisfied with the elements taken as postulates. Thus, in practice, explanation often comes to mean the derivation of less evident facts from very genera l postulates, laws and patterns. There may be an attempt to express these postulates and basic principles systematically, but they themselves remain unexplained. Moreover, we know that every axiomatic system is incomplete, and will hence provide an explanation only to a certain point. Therefore, the human mind will always keep looking for deeper explanations, as exhibited, for example, by Plato and Spinoza. Every language points to a more general meta-language. Ideally, such a system of general principles would allow us (1) to derive the laws that govern our world, (2) to stipulate the initial conditions of the birth and evolution of our universe and of the life that has developed in it, (3) to derive the tendencies of the history of the universe and of the evolution that takes place in it. It is clear that such an ideal can only be reached in a process of approximation (asymptotically).

And this my favorite, which was accompanied with ridiculous images of photoshopped cocks:

hi, all my friends Love is full of anxious fears.,
It is more blessed to give than to receive.,
I have no duty to allow myself to be cheated, but I have the duty to be a fighter for truth and justice. And if there is anything, which could demonstrate that we are acting rightly, it is the distress that daily grows,

You have endured worse things God will grant an end even to these.,

Arveuy Nothing that is really good and God-like dies.,

A pluralist in psychology is a thinker who will not exclude any attribute of human nature that seems important in its own right.,

Is your Christianity ancient history--or current events?,

The educator of a child must get to know his tendentious apperception and remove it.,
Whether women are better than men I cannot say, but I can say they are certainly no worse.,

Nothing is at last sacred but the integrity of our own mind, The uncommon man is merely the common man thinking and dreaming of success in larger terms and in more fruitful areas.,
I find the Englishman to be him of all men who stands firmest in his shoes,
Charity is no substitute for justice withheld.,

The world is his, who has money to go over it,

I wonder if those girls, as their asses are getting rammed, are thinking to themselves "Nothing is at last sacred but the integrity of our own mind"

10:23 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?!?!?!
Current mood: hot

I'm starting a list of users who requested to be my friend that I have denied. This really ought to be a feature parallel to the friend system. It would make people even more petty, bitter, and melodramatic, if such a thing is possible.

Rejected Friends:
im in love!!!!!!!!!! - I gave this first one the benefit of a "explain how I know you or fack off" message, she responded saying she just wanted to make new friends.
Gamer X - Has annoying sounds from flash games in his profile.
Pete Kilpatrick - How I learned to remove my locational information (required at sign up, but you can change it) to avoid random band spammings based on geography.

Rejected Groups:
free sexy webcams - I don't think I even have to explain this one, but it is the first group invite to get DENIED!
sexy live webcams room - Another one.

1:43 AM - 1 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

I seem to have fallen into the blogosphere, God help me.
Current mood: Enthused

Don't expect to see anything here. If you want to talk to me message me. I won't be dredging up my life history for all to see.

Currently listening : One Part Lullaby By The Folk Implosion Release date: 07 September, 1999

1:17 PM - 1 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment