Rodney Carrington Funny Songs & Comedy R-rated
Current mood: pirate
Since I have received ALOT of messages of how people like the RODNEY CARRINGTON video's I have been posting. I decided to put a bunch together since it is easier than posting them piece meal.
Anyway, he is one of MY FAVORITE COMEDIENS !!! Enjoy the songs everyone and remember this has ADULT LANGUAGE & CONTENT!!!!!
P.S. - Don't let the cowboy hat and his country twang stop you from listening he is HILARIOUS!
Kellie~ "TITTIES & BEER / WEINERS & WINE"
"SHOW THEM TO ME" (boobies are shown in this video)
"DEAR PENIS"
"PUT YOUR CLOTHES BACK ON"
"Today's The Day My Wife Met My Girlfriend"
"12 INCH DICK & A DOZEN ROSES"
"DO YOU WANNA DO SUMTHIN"
"GRANDMA"
"MOMMA'S GOT HER BOOBS OUT"
I decided to add some comedy reels of his all well. ENJOY!!! hahahah Everything from porno's, masturbation, hormones and everything in between =P ( 3 videos below are just comedy no singing)
Currently
listening
:
The Wild Life
By
Slaughter
Release date: 1992-04-21
IN LOVING MEMORY OF MY BABIES
Current mood: crushed
THIS BLOG IS A TRIBUTE TO TWO OF MY BABIES
CASSIE AND E.T.
(As Kittens) (as Adults)
They are now together again. May they have, peace, serenity and Love where ever they may be
OF ~Cassie~ Born: April 7, 1988 Died: OCTOBER 28, 2006
Today after 18 1/2 years I lost my beautiful longhaired calico cassie. She was fiesty and often called the "spawn of satan" or "demon semen" but I loved her just the way she was. She started to go downhill last year right after her brother passed away (see below). She has had my baby Savannah to keep her company but it wasn't the same. Cassie and E.T. were from the same litter and spent their entire lives together. Not long after he died we found out Cassie had Kidney disease, she also over the last year had gone almost blind and hard of hearing and it got to the point where she could not really do anything on her own or for herself. She needed constant company and constant attention. She refused to sleep, constantly screaming at the top of her lungs day and night and had a hard time eating, etc etc etc. Her quality of life had just dwindled down to the point where the kindest and most loving thing to do was to release her from her pain. she was just tired, worn out and suffering and it just could not go on any longer. It is extreamly hard to go from 3 babies down to 1 in just a little over a year. Cassie and E.T. have been a part of my life since I was 11 years old. It is truly the end of an era. They were my family, my babies and there are not enough tears that can express my sadness over their loss. Cassie and E.T. have been a part of my life since I was 11 years old so it is VERY HARD TO LET GO. My Aunt and I were with both the babies until their last breaths and as hard as it is to do that, I wouldn't change it.
It took Savannah almost 8 months after E.T.'s death to kinda of return to her old self but her and Cassie have been thick as thieves and I don't know if Savannah will survive this loss. She has never been without other cats and cassie (aka her auntie) has been her rock and her cohort in crime. As painful as it is for me, I am more worried about Savannah's well being. She is an EXTREAMLY sensitive cat and I worry this will kill her (literally).
Cassie has been a wonderful friend and has given me many years of laughter and love and she is not replacable. Someday's I still cry when i think of how much I miss E.T. , Now with Cassie gone as well my heart is just broken.
I miss my babies and I wish I could have kept them forever. I wish I could just put my little family back together.
Cassie my sweet know you were loved and you are missed more than words can say.
I love you "PORKCHOP"
Of ~E.T.~ Born: April 7, 1988 Died: April 18, 2005
Today after 17 wonderful years I lost my little boy (my kitty). He had a Beautiful & Loving Spirit. I wish him peace and freedom from the pain he was in and I will LOVE him and MISS him dearly. I am beyond heartbroken and the tears are falling as I write this but I know it was what was best for him.
I spent the day with him giving him all the affection I could and making sure he had all his favorite things. The last thing we did was take a nap and cuddle together and it was one of the sweetest things and as I think about it, it makes me smile.
I was there holding him as he took his last breath and it felt like my heart was being ripped from my chest but it seemed as though he finally had some peace that has long been missing from his life. I can only hope he will know how much i will miss him and how dearly he was loved.
My boy as a kitten ;)
I LOVE YOU "COOKIE MAN"!! He always had to have a soft blanket and a pillow. He was a very pampered little boy.
We often took "catnaps" together as he was the biggest cuddle-bear!!
MAY YOU BOTH HAVE FOUND PEACE AND SERENITY BABIES!!!
Me being Jewish & Supporting Israel is a problem for some...
Current mood: tired
( This was a letter I wrote and posted as a bulletin. The need has arisen for me to post this as a blog. If you are offended by strong language then read no further. I speak my mind here and this was originally intended for a select few on my friends list *who turned out not to be friends afterall*. Now I am getting messages from people who are not on my friends list who should read this as well which is why I am posting this here. Some of this will not apply now due to the fact that this has nothing to do with my "friends list" anymore but I was not about to start deleting parts from my original letter) *AT THE BOTTOM DENNIS MILLER EXPLAINS THE MIDDLE EAST IN A FEW SHORT PARAGRAPHS*
"I have never been one to constantly post religious stuff here on Myspace. I post holiday greetings (for every religion) and yes the Jewish holidays I go a little bit bigger and grander in my bulletins but that is because those are my holidays and it is fun for me to do. Anyway, back to what I was saying.... I am not extremely religious but I do stand by my traditions and even though I am not "orthodox" I do love what I am and where I come from. It is a large part of who I am. It is what makes me...well...ME.
Since the violence in Israel erupted I have posted bulletins and a blog (there with be a few more by the way) about the current situation and my feelings on it. Because of that there have been a number of my online friends who have sent me "not so nice" messages and a number of people who have "deleted" me because of it. Here I thought "Myspace" was a place to talk, discuss, post things that matter to you no matter the subject.
Some of the messages I received started off by saying "I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE JEWISH???? Why didn't you tell me?? You don't look like a Jew!!"
Let me say this here and now I HAVE NEVER HID THE FACT THAT I AM A JEW!!!It is right there on my page for everyone to see. It is something I am proud to be and were the title as a badge of honor. If anyone has a problem with that then FUCKING DELETE ME ALREADY AND STOP GIVING ME SHIT ABOUT IT!!!!
As for "looking Jewish" what the hell does that mean anyway?!?!?!? How exactly is a Jew supposed to look??? I'll let you all in on a little secret (this is for the slow people who sent me those messages) WE COME IN ALL SHAPES AND SIZES, COLORS, SPEAK ALL LANGUAGES, WE COME FROM EVERY COUNTRY AND WE DON'T ALL LOOK THE SAME!!!
I have given everyone a heads up as to what I was posting in the "subject area" if you didn't wanna read it...then why in the hell did you open it??!?!?!
I will NOT apologize for what I am and I sure as hell am not sorry about who I am. I am simply posting things that matter to me and if you don't like it then don't read it. SIMPLE AS THAT.
Yes, I am a PROUD American but as a Jew ISRAEL is my country as well. It is my people's homeland and I will SUPPORT IT and them ALWAYS!!! If you don't agree with me FINE I am not asking you to but sending me hateful messages and calling me names like "KIKE" and shit like that is pointless and hurtful and completely UNFUCKINNECESSARY!!
I believe everyone should have the right to there opinion and I am not here to preach to anyone and I don't want anyone preaching to me. I am a firm believe to each his/her own. I am here to chat with friends, make posts in my groups of choice, fill out stupid funny surveys to take my mind of things and unwind. Yes, I realize my page is all about music and rocking out but there is more to life than that at the moment.
That being said there have been some AMAZING people sending me sweet and kind notes regarding all the things I have posted and those people I am so blessed to call friends. To everyone who has been cool with this apparently "new" religious affiliation discovery about me I thank you and look forward to continuing our friendships. To those that think "Hitler should have finished what he started" (yes, that was a quote from a message I received) YOU KNOW WHERE THE DELETE BUTTON IS FUCKING USE IT!!! YOUR ASS WON'T BE MISSED!!
For 99.9% of you this rant is not aimed at you. The 1% it is aimed at who still remain on my friends list, I did not delete them just yet because I wanted them to get this bulletin first =P I will give it a day to make sure they read it and then I am going to go "DELETE HAPPY" over here.
Hugs to my FRIENDS of the 99% and a great big KISS MY JEWISH ASS to the assholes of the 1%!
~K~ (100% Kosher) hehehe
P.S.~ Tbis bottom section I added one the day after my original post.
Oh and I got a couple more notes that were real "pieces of work" so for those senders let me clear something up for you...*make sure and listen closely, I will speak slowly*
First:WE DID NOT KILL CHRIST!!!!!!!!! I wasn't even there when all that occured so why in the hell are you blaming me.
Second: No, we DO NOT eat or sacrifice christian babies and we NEVER HAVE!!!!
Third: Telling me how horrible I am and that Jews are an "abomination" and bible thumping me over the head while asking me "what would Jesus do?". Well, I don't know what "Jesus" would do but he would probably tell you your an asshole because how is it that you can have such discontent and hatred for Jews WHEN YOU WORSHIP ONE!!!
(*spoiler alert...spolier alert* ~ JESUS WAS A JEW YOU DUMBASS!!)
Fourth: As for the radical muslim's I have been hearing from well there really isn't much you can say to these people. They don't think rationally. They have been raised with such hate and propoganda that they are beyond help and trying to have a rational discussion with so I am not gonna waste my breath trying to make them understand. When all they have to spout is hate and all they have in their veins is bloodlust.
I have no problem with people that believe differently than I do. I have friends in all religions and of all races. I don't care if your Christian, Wiccan, Buddhist, Hindu, Atheist, Agnostic...whatever it is. Great be that! Believe that! More power to you. I am not gonna sit here and tell you your wrong. See that is the great thing about a DEMOCRACY...FREEDOM OF RELIGION!! I don't care what G-d you believe in all I care about is that you are a DECENT HUMAN BEING!!! "
"A brief overview of the situation is always valuable, so as a service to all Americans who still don't get it, I now offer you the story of the Middle East in just a few paragraphs, which is all you really need.
Here we go:
The Palestinians want their own country. There's just one thing about that: There are no Palestinians. It's a made-up word. Israel was called Palestine for two thousand years. Like "Wiccan," "Palestinian" sounds ancient but is really a modern invention. Before the Israelis won the land in the 1967 war,Gaza was owned by Egypt, the West Bank was owned by Jordan, and there were no "Palestinians."
As soon as the Jews took over and started growing oranges as big as basketballs, what do you know, say hello to the "Palestinians," weeping for their deep bond with their lost "land" and "nation."
So for the sake of honesty, let's not use the word "Palestinian" any more to describe these delightful folks, who dance for joy at our defeats until someone points out they're being taped. Instead, let's call them what they are: "Other Arabs Who Can't Accomplish Anything In Life And Would Rather Wrap Themselves In The Seductive Melodrama Of Eternal Struggle And Death."
I know that's a bit unwieldy to expect to see on CNN.
How about this, then: "Adjacent Jew-Haters." Okay, so the Adjacent Jew-Haters want their own country.
Oops, just one more thing: No, they don't.
They could've had their own country any time in the last thirty years, especially two years ago at Camp David. But if you have your own country, you have to have traffic lights and garbage trucks and Chambers of Commerce, and, worse, you actually have to figure out some way to make a living.
That's no fun. No, they want what all the other Jew-Haters in the region want: Israel. They also want a big pile of dead Jews, of course --that's where the real fun is -- but mostly they want Israel.
Why? For one thing, trying to destroy Israel - or "The Zionist Entity" as their textbooks call it -- for the last fifty years has allowed the rulers of Arab countries to divert the attention of their own people away from the fact that they're the blue-ribbon most illiterate, poorest, and tribally backward on God's Earth, and if you've ever been around God's Earth, you know that's really saying something.
It makes me roll my eyes every time one of our pundits waxes poetic about the great history and culture of the Muslim Mid east. Unless I'm missing something, the Arabs haven't given anything to the world since Algebra.
Chew this around and spit it out: Five hundred million Arabs; five Million Jews. Think of all the Arab countries as a football field, and Israel as a pack of matches sitting in the middle of it. And now these same folks swear that if Israel gives them half of that pack of matches, everyone will be pals..
Really? Wow, what neat news. Hey, but what about the string of wars to obliterate the tiny country and the constant din of rabid blood oaths to drive every Jew into the sea? Oh, that? We were just kidding.
My friend, Kevin Rooney, made a gorgeous point the other day: Just reverse the numbers. Imagine five hundred million Jews and five million Arabs. I was< .......>stunned at the simple brilliance of it. Can anyone picture the Jews strapping belts of razor blades and dynamite to themselves? Of course not. Or marshaling every fiber and force at their disposal for generations to drive a tiny Arab State into the sea? Nonsense. Or dancing for joy at the murder of innocents? Impossible. Or spreading and believing horrible lies about the Arabs baking their bread with the blood of children?
Disgusting.
No, as you know, left to themselves in a world of peace, the worst Jews would ever do to people is debate them to death.
Mr. Bush, God bless him, is walking a tightrope. I understand that with vital operations in Iraq and others, it's in our interest, as Americans, to try to stabilize our Arab allies as much as possible, and, after all, that can't be much harder than stabilizing a roomful of super models who've just had their drugs taken away.
However, in any big-picture strategy, there's always a danger of losing moral weight. We've already lost some.
After September 11th our president told us and the world he was going to root out all terrorists and the countries that supported them. Beautiful.
Then the Israelis, after months and months of having the equivalent of an Oklahoma City every week (and then every day) start to do the same thing we did, and we tell them to show restraint.
If America were being attacked with an Oklahoma City every day, we would all very shortly be screaming for the administration to just be done with it and kill everything south of the Mediterranean and east of the Jordan."
A letter from an Israeli Jew to the world...with a *sidenote* from me.
Current mood: infuriated
Dear World,
I understand that you are upset by us, here in Israel. Indeed, it appears that you are quite upset, even angry. (Outraged?)
Indeed, every few years you seem to become upset by us. Today, it is the "brutal repression of the Palestinians"; yesterday it was Lebanon; before that it was the bombing of the nuclear reactor in Baghdad and the Yom Kippur War and the Sinai campaign. It appears that Jews who triumph and who, therefore, live, upset you most extraordinarily.
Of course, dear world, long before there was an Israel, we - the Jewish people - upset you.
We upset a German people who elected Hitler and upset an Austrian people who cheered his entry into Vienna and we upset a whole slew of Slavic nations - Poles, Slovaks, Lithuanians, Ukrainians, Russians, Hungarians and Romanians. And we go back a long, long way in the history of world upset.
We upset the Cossacks of Chmielnicki who massacred tens of thousands of us in 1648-49; we upset the Crusaders who, on their way to liberate the Holy Land, were so upset at Jews that they slaughtered untold numbers of us.
For centuries, we upset a Roman Catholic Church that did its best to define our relationship through inquisitions, and we upset the arch-enemy of the church, Martin Luther, who, in his call to burn the synagogues and the Jews within them, showed an admirable Christian ecumenical spirit.
And it is because we became so upset over upsetting you, dear world, that we decided to leave you - in a manner of speaking - and establish a Jewish state. The reasoning was that living in close contact with you, as resident-strangers in the various countries that comprise you, we upset you, irritate you and disturb you. What better notion, then, than to leave you (and thus love you)- and have you love us and so, we decided to come home - home to the same land we were driven out 1,900 years earlier by a Roman world that, apparently, we also upset.
Alas, dear world, it appears that you are hard to please.
Having left you and your pogroms and inquisitions and crusades and holocausts, having taken our leave of the general world to live alone in our own little state, we continue to upset you. You are upset that we repress the poor Palestinians. You are deeply angered over the fact that we do not give up the lands of 1967, which are clearly the obstacle to peace in the Middle East
Moscow is upset and Washington is upset. The "radical" Arabs are upset and the gentle Egyptian moderates are upset.
Well, dear world, consider the reaction of a normal Jew from Israel.
In 1920 and 1921 and 1929, there were no territories of 1967 to impede peace between Jews and Arabs. Indeed, there was no Jewish State to upset anybody Nevertheless, the same oppressed and repressed Palestinians slaughtered tens of Jews in Jerusalem, Jaffa, Safed and Hebron.Indeed, 67 Jews were slaughtered one day in Hebron in 1929.
Dear world, why did the Arabs - the Palestinians - massacre 67 Jews in one day in 1929? Could it have been their anger over Israeli aggression in 1967? And why were 510 Jewish men, women and children slaughtered in Arab riots between 1936-39? Was it because Arabs were upset over 1967?
And when you, dear world, proposed a UN Partition Plan in 1947 that would have created a "Palestinian State" alongside a tiny Israel and the Arabs cried "no" and went to war and killed 6,000 Jews - was that "upset" caused by the aggression of 1967? And, by the way, dear world, why did we not hear your cry of "upset" then?
The poor Palestinians who today kill Jews with explosives and firebombs and stones are part of the same people who when they had all the territories they now demand be given to them for their state -attempted to drive the Jewish state into the sea. The same twisted faces, the same hate, the same cry of "itbach-al-yahud" (Massacre the Jew!) that we hear and see today, were seen and heard then. The same people, the same dream - destroy Israel. What they failed to do yesterday, they dream of today, but we should not "repress" them.
Dear world, you stood by during the holocaust and you stood by in 1948 as seven states launched a war that the Arab League proudly compared to the Mongol massacres.
You stood by in 1967 as Nasser, wildly cheered by wild mobs in every Arab capital in the world, vowed to drive the Jews into the sea. And you would stand by tomorrow if Israel were facing extinction.
And since we know that the Arabs-Palestinians dream daily of that extinction, we will do everything possible to remain alive in our own land. If that bothers you, dear world, well think of how many times in the past you bothered us.
In any event, dear world, if you are bothered by us, here is one Jew in Israel who could not care less.
On a personal note:
To my friends & fellow Jews in Israel...You are in my thoughts and prayers and keep fighting!!! Don't listen to the rest of the world and their complaining...they are not the ones that are trying to be DESTROYED on a regular basis. You know DAMN WELL that if this were happening to them they would do a hell of alot more damage than you are currently doing now.
For thousands of yearspeople, nations & other religionshave been trying to kill our kind (with noexplanation as towhy) and they have ALWAYS FAILED!!! THEY WILL FAIL AGAIN!!!
All they are doing is making every Jew's resolve that much stronger. The world has sat comfortably on their collective asses for as long as our kind has been made to suffer. They sat back and knew what Hitler was doing but let him do it anyway cause it "WASN'T THEIR PROBLEM" the minute Hitler interfered with their interests they were up and ready to fight. I come from a Holocaust family and it is painful to see someone you love in that much pain with such HORRIFIC memories, there were things he couldn't even talk about. OnlyTWO members of my family made it out of that nightmare alive but it took years. By the end of the war when he was trying to leave Europe he missed the transport to Israel and the only other choice was to come to the US. He doesn't regret coming here by any means but it still hurt him until the end that he never got to see "our" homeland. I will make good on that for him one day!! I was blessed to have my Grandfather for so many years. In the end at almost 95 years of age hefinallyhad peace andI was with him to the last breath.I thank heavens that my Grandparents were the ones who pretty much raised me and taught me more than my parents ever could have.
In the end NO ONE will fight for us...if we are to survive as a people than we have to PROTECT ourselves AT ANY COST!! We are NOT arab and we have no OIL to give the world, therefore we are expendable...simple as that. I say that because you see how quick the world is to come to their aid and lend a hand and condemn us for just wanting to survive.
Oh, one more thing. If the other "democratic" nations of the world don't "NEGOTIATE" with terrorists. Why in the hell should Israel have to?!?!?!?!?
The sooner Hezbollah and Hamas are DESTROYED the better for everyone.
I would rather DIE a Jew than LIVE as anything else!!!!!!!!!!!!
pirate
tired
ecstatic
crushed
infuriated
