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Last Letter to Andy
Current mood:  sad
Dear Andy,
I wish I had no reason to write this letter. I wish this were a simple “Hey, what’s up bro” letter—but it’s not. I have had family members and distant friends pass away over the years but I have never had a true friend—a best friend—pass. This is much more difficult than I could ever have imagined.
Being over here on the other side of the globe makes things a bit easier in that I don’t have the ability to go to your memorial service and see the sad faces of all the people whose lives you have touched. That reunion will have to wait for another day.
I will spend the time in this letter to remind myself and everyone reading or listening to this of some of the things that I remember about you—for you are someone whose memory will never be lost.
I can’t remember the dude’s name that introduced me to you—obviously because he was not as memorable as you. It was that goth guy that always wore black and had every piece of music Trent Reznor ever made. You know that guy. Anyway, our lives were surrounded and encompassed by music. It was our mutual love for music that formed the covalent bond that linked us together for life. I have so many fond memories of us and music.
You had an acoustic guitar. It was a decent Yamaha. But you always wanted to play mine. You liked it. I can understand, it’s a good guitar. I never thought twice about letting you borrow it because, well, why should I? You’re Andy.
One of the first musical memories I have is of “Godspeed” by BT. You had a couple of milk crates full of records that you used to spin on Joel’s tables. You had this trance mix you used to spin and you would always throw that song in there. We have both been big fans of BT for quite some time but I never stopped associating that song with you. Without being too gay, I guess you can call it our song. Yeah, that did sound pretty gay. Oh, well.
You were never that great of a dancer. You enjoyed it, you tried, and we just never had the heart to tell you that you just looked funny. I remember when Joel got that instructional break dancing video and we scuffed up our elbows for hours on the carpet in the living room of our house practicing windmills and stalls. You always tried harder than I did because I knew I wasn’t any good at it.
There was never an Orange Juice Kids concert that you missed. I could always count on you to be there with us drunk and laughing. I remember putting your name on the guest list several times and never seeing the name crossed off at the end of the night because you insisted on paying. That didn’t say a lot back then but it says a lot now.
You were always my little computer geek. If I ever had a computer problem, you could fix it. You helped me build my computer back in the day. It still run up until recently. What was that music program that you use? You know, the one that runs in DOS and you can’t even use a mouse with. You used the keyboard for it all. Joel, help me out. I can’t remember the name of that program. What was it? Well, anyway, whereas I always had to see everything I did when creating music, you used a program with equations and stuff that I could never learn how to use. I tried.
Impulse Tracker? Is that it? I think so. YES!
Andy, what is up with all those jackets you wore? Every time I saw you, you were wearing a different sport coat or blazer. I think you have a closet full of nothing but blazers that your parents are not going to know what to do with. I think they’ll have to give them right back to where they came from—Goodwill.
I don’t remember us ever getting into any arguments. I don’t know why but I guess it’s pretty cool that we were never that way.
Damn, we were some ramen noodle fiends weren’t we? Some of the concoctions we would come up with sometimes even a dog wouldn’t eat—but we would. I think my favorite would have to be the creamy chicken with cut-up boiled hot dog and frozen peas and corn all mixed in together with some saltines. Man, I need to get some of that. It’s been too long. It’s not one of those meals you come home from work and try to fix for the wife though. I think she gagged the first time I ate that in front of her. We stopped having hot dogs in the fridge after that.
We also had the weekly frying pan of baked beans with fried cut-up hot dogs. I always like to add extra BBQ sauce, but you liked them the way they came. But we both always agreed that we should add tons of dried oregano.
Hot dogs went a long way in a college student’s house. You always called them “franks.” I understood—you being from New England and me from Tennessee. No, I never call them wieners. I just call you that.
Whatever happened to that picture of BloodGod? Joel? Did we return it back to the house where it was found. I believe we found that picture in the fuse box right? Man, that guy had a great mullet.
I have spent all day thinking about the wonderful memories I shall forever cherish. I am having a hard time putting them to paper. There are far too many to say. I’m sure you remember them all with me, though. I just found out this morning that you are no longer with us. I had to spend the whole day riding around in Humvees on the streets of Iraq not looking for IEDs because I was thinking of all the wonderful days we had together. Luckily it was raining and the insurgents didn’t feel like sitting out in the rain to blow up some evil American infidels.
I’m gonna have to end this letter. It has come to run-on into a conversation that only you and I could have and no one except for Joel could understand. Please don’t think this is a finite list of who you are to me. No amount of paper could rightfully justify who you were.
You have been running down the way up for some time now, Andy. There is no doubt in my mind that you have found your way to peace. No affliction can harm you and no demons will touch you evermore. God says you have suffered in this life enough (though I think he was a little premature for me.) You have had your turn and it was a damn good one. I will meet you in the after-life some day and we’ll have a bottle of Killian’s and reminisce of all the music and ramen noodle adventures we had and that you missed—but not yet.
Lovingly yours,
Luc
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Currently
listening
:
Godspeed
By
Bt
Release date: 17 November, 1998
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9:42 PM
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