We picked her up Saturday and she is a 9 week old 6 pound bundle of energy. She was rescued from a puppy mill acution in MO and was in foster care at a home in NJ. She is the cutest little thing.
The weird thing is that when we brought her to my house we were finding pennies all over the place - pennies from heaven - I guess my Amber Lou approved of our choice
A while back I had mentioned to you guys how my baby girl Amber was really sick and the vet didn't give her much time. Well that time came last Saturday. Friday night I went to go see ehr and my poor little girl kept falling over because by not being able to breathe through her nose she couldn't sleep. Everytime she would lay down and her mouth would close and she would gasp for air so for two days she didn't eat or sleep. Me, my sister and Carl went to say goodbye Friday night and then Saturday morning I went to the vet with my parents for her final breath. I still start crying now when I think of how I looked into her big puppy eyes and said I'm sorry and goodbye
Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge. When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable. All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind. They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent; His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster. You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart. Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together.... Author unknown... My dad holding her the day we brought her home My baby girl looking up at me waiting for her treat And the infamous singing Lullabee - what she did best!
Amber Louise Fossella April 11, 1998 - June 21, 2008
By now I'm sure most of you have seen this video
Well it circulated my office on Wednesday and Thursday one of my coworkers brought in unpopped corn and we tried it and it didn't work. We tried it twice with four phones and once with six phones and the kernels sat there as dead as ever. So stop freaking out and wearing your tin foil hat to make cell calls. Its a hoax! .. Cell Phone Popcorn Hoax Revealed - Watch the best video clips here So who is going to be bored and attempt this this weekend?
I have killed before and I won’t hesitate to do it again
I have killed before and I won't hesitate to do it again
Anyone who knows me and has seen me in one of my uncontrolled manic phases has no doubt that sentence means I have bodies buried throughout the tri-state area. However I am referring to the myriad of tree bugs that are all over my apartment since the weather got warmer.
Living in suburbia in a house that sits next to acres of forestry will lend itself to the cause of these little fuckers being EVERYWHERE. Make no mistake, I have OCD when it comes to cleaning and disinfecting my house on a daily basis so its not like I have roaches crawling all over. I just get these giant ants that most athletes would kill for the steroids they are on and silverfish and the occasional giant bee. I'm not even going to get into the teenaged mutant ninja tortoise Carl and Zimmer found in the backyard. Let's just say Carl described it as grunting and large enough that it appeared to be a person under the shell.
I have stepped on, smacked with newspapers and paper towels, sprayed with hairspray till their wings froze up and they begged for their life. I have sprayed with Lysol until both the bug and I were left choking and gasping for air. The other morning I drowned one of them bitches in Raid on top of my hamper and now, three days later, that corner of the bedroom still reeks of it.
We finally broke down and called an exterminator for Saturday and I swear, once Carl made the call, we haven't seen one friggin bug - not even a mosquito outside the house.
Do you think they heard him make the call and have gone into hiding to lull us into a false sense of security so we call off the big guns?
Am I hallucinating from inhaling so much Raid?
What's your favorite murder weapon or are one of those people who leave them be because they are one of God's creatures?
So yesterday I'm sitting on the bus and a midget sits in the seat in front of me. I've kind of a weird obsession with midgets - excuse me Little People - which Carl shares (and no freaks we don't invite midget strippers into the bedroom so get that thought out of your head). It started when Carl threw out his back and we watched an entire 2 seasons of Little People Big World back to back. The Roloffs were mesmerizing. We have even said that when we get married we want to have only little people cater-waiters. This, as a matter of fact is the only reason I would get married in a white dress and in a hall opposed to comfortable at city hall
Anyway, I'm sitting on the bus and have my iPod on shuffle and Blink182s "All the Small Things" comes on (that noise you just heard was people deleting me for the fact that I have the song on my iPod). So I start cracking up and text my friends if it would be wrong for me to blast the song so she could hear it (Mary's reply? "When has being wrong ever stopped you?"). Suddenly I knew it - I am going to have my little cater-waiter friends have a grand entrance at my wedding to "All the Small Things" to kick off the cocktail hour. My friend threw in the fact that I should find look-a-likes of me and Carl and get them dressed like us and I am so excited! Now we just have to legitimately get engaged, I have to lose about 150 pounds and need to have an armored car crash into my house with a driver so apologetic for the damage he causes he lets me keep all the money in the truck.
On the wrist front, I went to the doctor last Saturday and apparently the CAT scan I went for showed I have a "Non-displaced fracture through the dorsal aspect of the left trapezoid bone with a small amount of subcutaneous soft tissue edema along the dorsal aspect" which basically means I have a fracture and fluid in my wrist. My hand specialist has now referred me to yet an even more specialized hand surgeon who I have to meet Tuesday. I was offered an appointment this past Wednesday but I've heard that not only is this guy the 1 hand surgeon in the country but you wait for like 2 or 3 hours in his office and both people I work with are out on vacation and jury duty from Wed-today so I really couldn't just be MIA for hours. Hopefully I can schedule the surgery for the week of 4th of July so I can have some extra time off without committing suicide when I get back.
On the weird news front apparently in the UK they are selling this stripper pole for kids between that and getting your infant these crib high heelsyou could have a prostitot in no time!
Strange thing happened over the weekend - it seemed wherever Carl and I went, we saw people in the act of thievery!
Saturday, we went to get my car an oil change and detailed. While waiting for 2 hours playing on the computers (which seriously Mr. Catena, any reason to block myspace and perezhilton.com??) and snacking on their exquisite array of sandwiches and snacks (yes complimentary which is why Ray Catena will always get all my auto business) we step outside to smoke a cigarette. We notice an old ('99 or '00) Jeep Cherokee pull up and a couple, looking completely junked up, in their finest trailer trash ensembles, gets out with the car running and proceeds right into the waiting room (you usually go through the service area and you service consultant brings you back). The girl was kind of running and Carl and I remarked she must have had to pee or something. Then we noticed the 2 take cans of soda, bottles of water, sandwiches, cookies, snacks, napkins - even a container of milk for the coffee! - and walk back to their car and get in while the manager follows them saying -going on a picnic? We just stood there openmouthed staring. What fucking balls I tell you! We joke that when I get the car serviced I should make the appointment at lunchtime and we can have friends meet us but dude - I'm paying a lot of money to them every month in addition to what I am paying for the service I am there for that day and even I'm not that nervy!
Anyway after there we headed home and hit Blockbuster wherein we watched while waiting on line some guy walk in with an empty bag, grab 2 movies and 2 framed posters and say he wanted to change the movies for the posters. The male cashier didn't see him grab the movies off the shelf although both us and the female cashier did. When the male cashier told him that he could only exchange movies for movies he pitched a fit yelling he wanted to see this policy in writing. When it came out he didn't have a receipt the female cashier was like fine take your movies and go but if the security alarm goes off (which will happen if they weren't un-sensored) we are calling the cops. He was walking around the store when we left. My urge to go home & eat dinner outweighed my morbid curiosity.
Later on we went to Dunkin Donuts for a little Iced Coffee action and were wondering if the place would be robbed while we were in the drive thru!
First I need to tell everyone that people truly suck. I still have the splint on my hand which completely makes my left hand unusable. See? (had to take it in 2 separate pictures because my hand is a little too close to my body)
Hence I have been dealing with it by wearing a hoodie under my jacket for the rain (can't hold an umbrella!), wearing only pants that have no buttons and zippers (can only lift my pants with one hand and fasteners are out of the question unless every time I pee at work I have someone zip & button me and umm no) and only eating basically sandwiches (at home I have Carl cut up my meat for me and then he will further make me feel like a child by trying to feed me complete with airplane noises).
So anyway I am taking the bus home yesterday and this woman asks me to get up so she can get the inside seat. Fine. I let her in. Then as the bus is turning the corner she says "let me out so I can go sit with my friend" So I have to balance again on one arm to let her out. Then finally someone gets on that plans on sitting there for the duration. We get to the last stop and some 4 foot tall bitch gets .. the driver told her there were no seats and the next bus is 7 minutes behind him so she says that she'll stand. Now this bus has 57 seats on it so its pretty long, yet can you take a guess where this troll has to stand? Yep leaning against me while she holds on to the top so she is leaning on my sling (which I purposely wear to highlight the injury so people steer clear). Her hair was so thin you could see her scalp and yet it was pulled back into a banana clip (yes a banana clip) with tons of hair that wasn't the same color as the rest of her hair. I owned the same Revlon hairpiece (nicknamed "The Rat" by my friends) in 1993. On top of that ridiculousness, she had on some horrid perfume. It smelled like an imposter of some already cheap Avon perfume. So after I ask her to please move as she is leaning on me and she says "Well you have a seat, I am standing so I will stand where I want" And yes that is what flipped my manic switch :) First I kicked her bag up the aisle when it fell on my foot, then I kept coughing right in her face and then I sneezed on her and she says " you need to cover your mouth when you do that!" I replied "Sorry I hand, and your cheap perfume is making me sick" and proceeded to put on my new iPod ( my birthday present from Carl - a Product(RED) nano) and blast every loud offensive song so I could drown out the Keebler Elf.
Another thing that is pissing me off - and really what isn't since I ran out of painkillers - is this need to reinvent or bring back everything from my childhood. New Kids on The Block - or NKOTB as they are now known as - ummm yeah, I was excited at the possibility at first until I saw you perform. You guys don't have "The Right Stuff" anymore. You are too old to be a boy band See?
Who remembers Beverly Hills 90210?
Me, Marissa and her brother Jorma would watch it every week at her house all through high school and could've told you anything you wanted to know about every character and plot. Now I learn the CW has recreated this show - nicknamed 90210(2.0)
Urghhh - are they going to dig up and reanimate Kurt Cobain next??
I will end all of this negativity with a positive note - How Fucking Cool Is This??
I am typing this with one hand (right) because my left is in a splint and a sling right now. I managed to crush the tendons in my left hand and fuck up my wrist and may need surgery if the ligament is torn. Happy Fucking Birthday to me right? Anyway as I am having a helluva time trying to type I may be stalking your blogs (i.e. reading & not commenting) so don't delete me if you can't physically see my comment love - its there believe me.
By the way if anyone has ever had an immobilized hand/wrist and knows any tricks to do the following:
- open a child-proof cap on painkillers
- put on a bra
- pull up my pants
- blow out me hair
- eat food requiring utensils
- open a jar / bag if chips (yes I'm fat)
- put on deodorant
it would be greatly appreciated if you would pass them on
So I guess I haven't really written anything in a while aside from reposting something that cracks me up - and I am mildly retarded so that happens often. In the past few weeks aside from getting my tattoo, I went to a psychic party at Chantal's house (and came home to a RockBand concert which consisted of Nicole on drums, Dalby on bass, Mullen on lead guitar and Burdge singing while Kraig was doing background chants of "Are you a Dragon?" and Carl was just staring horrified) and my fears of my apartment being haunted were 100% verified. The psychic knew every single thing that I saw (and I gave no indication and Chantal didn't know half of the things that happened to even throw her a heads up prior) and told me a couple of things to do. I waited till Carl left for work and did the whole sweeping out the spirits thing.
This past Friday at work I was on the phone and all of a sudden I feel a filling come loose - not one of my molar which would have been 'whatevs' it was one I have on my second to front took that is kind of half my tooth (it started as a cavity in between my teeth and the filling had been there like 11 years). I call my dentist and get the answering service and BEGGED them to push me to the top of the emergency list ("Painkillers can't help me like they can people with pain I will have a missing front tooth!!") I spent the rest of the day and the party we had to go to that night (Carl's aunt's Surprise 70th birthday so I guess in hindsight 99% of my teeth would have been a higher average than most) basically holding it up with my tongue. I was afraid to eat at the party and had like 4 rigatonis because I was absolutely starving and that was the softest thing to eat. Thank God Saturday morning the dentist called and I went and got gassed and fixed then sat home the entire day watching bad TV and reading my new Jen Lancaster book. (yes I know its not out till tomorrow but I pre-ordered it from B&N and they sent it 4/19) until my face was un-numb - seriously even my friggin eyelid was numb.
Speaking of things not out till tomorrow you need to check out Duffy . I ordered her cd from Amazon UK back in March because I'm all up on the up and coming acts but it will be available in the US tomorrow and definitely worth checking out.
So who has been playing Grand Theft Auto? Yeah I suck but I get out a lot of my aggression on it. If you play on Xbox Live let me know your gamertag as I finally broke free of just embarrassing Carl by playing under his name (and subsequently ruining his rep) and got my own but I have no friends except Carl and Dalby!
What's everyone's plans this weekend? Anything exciting? Or being good little boys & girls and spending it with mom?
Why I have a love/hate relationship with the NY Post
No I was not in it again. I love reading the NY Post (Page Six is a daily must read) but I hate dealing with my home delivery.
We had a great (although greedy - i.e. sent us a blank Christmas card made out to himself that all it was missing was a "Place Check Here" note) carrier. Our paper was there by 5 am every day. It was placed on MY stoop and in a plastic bag. For some reason they changed our carrier and since they have our list of complaints has been:
1) Paper arriving after 9 am
2) Paper left on sidewalk on opposite end of driveway vs. side of house that we are on
3) Daily News being left in a Post wrapper (NYDN has no Page Six dammit!)
4) Paper left in my landlord's door (the bill manages to say side door not front door though)
5) No delivery at all for days at a time
6) No plastic bag in the rain
So now anyone who knows me know that I am calling the Post every friggin day and complaining. Of course nothing is being done but I have a feeling that they are passing along my complaints as Carl sent me a picture message yesterday of :
I replied back - "What is that red thing in the tree?"
His reply was "Our Post"
Carl and I (along with Pete & Ursula) got inked last weekend. My tattoo which I have wanted to get for over a year now is on the middle of my back (on the spine above my bra strap). Here it is:
Carl's is only half done. He got the Blessed Mother on his left forearm and he has to go back in a couple of weeks to get the shading done and add his grandmother and grandfather's names to it. Here is his half done tat:
So what has everyone else been up to? Have I missed much?
During the Ranger game last night me and Carl saw this commercial and we were cracking up and rewinding it. Is it really that amusing or were we just delirious
First of all anyone who knows me knows I don’t like crowds, shopping, being out of NY, being out of the house all day and night and lots of screaming kids. Let me tell you what I did this weekend:
Saturday
- had a 10 am appointment for glasses/contact
- went to the mall with Carl and ventured into various stores trying clothes on in front of people all the while they had a stage set up with some very untalented people singing the national anthem in a bid to be able to sing at the Staten Island Yankees opening day
- went food shopping at the height of busy
- drove to NJ (sans GPS because I’ve been there before) and hung out in Jose Tejas for well over an hour waiting for our table (there were 9 of us out for Pete’s birthday) in a packed bar
Sunday
- went to a friend’s son’s first birthday party where there was lots of yelling and throwing of toys
- went to my parents house for my dad and Amber’s (the dog) birthdays
- didn’t get home until 9 (another giant no no, Sundays I must be lying down from at least 5pm in order to function the whole week)
I did not have one panic attack, freak out, or perform an act of violence on Carl, any of my friends or random innocent bystander. Anyone who actually knows me knows how huge this is.
Now though, I have a question for anyone who knows me on myspace. While at Jose Tejas in Edison, NJ on Saturday, some blonde girl was looking at me like she knew me - she looked me in the face and smiled at me. I even commented on it to Ursula because I thought maybe I knew her but couldn’t place her. On our way home Carl said that some girl was leaning into him at the bar and when he looked at her she smiled at him. We both described her and it was the same girl. So I ask, if that was you can you please let either one of us know who it was as its been driving us nuts since Saturday!
So my baby girl went to the vet yesterday because she’s been snorting and wheezing like a TB patient for a while no. The vet originally thought it was an infection and gave her antibiotics but it still kept up. Eventually they agreed that she was going to have to have some test (I don’t know the exact name of it) but she had to have an EKG yesterday to determine if she was healthy enough for it. After declaring my 10 year old puppy (born 4/11/98) as fit as a 5 year old they ran the test and found a very large tumor in her nasal cavity which is blocking her breathing. My parents were told that she could go this animal cancer center in the city which is the best in the country and get radiation treatments but it may burn her face and not do much but they are going to get a consult anyway. If she doesn’t do this she will not make it through the summer. Even though she was my dog originally - she quickly became my fathers baby girl - and my parents are inconsolable right now. So although I am not particularly religious, my parents are and I am asking for you guys to send her some prayers that they will be able to do the radiation and help her out a little.
Here’s my most recent pic of my little AmberLou taken in January
As you may have heard the Bush Administration said each and every one of us would now get a nice rebate. If we spend that money at Wal-Mart, all the money will go to China . If we spend it on gasoline it will all go to the Arabs, if we purchase a computer it will all go to India, if we purchase fruit and vegetables it will all go to Mexico, Honduras, and Guatemala, if we purchase a good car it will all go to Japan, if we purchase useless crap it will all go to Taiwan and none of it will help the American economy.
We need to keep that money here in America , so the only way to keep that money here at home is to buy prostitutes and beer, since those are the only businesses still in the US .
