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12:08 AM - come as you are bright.
Current mood:  indescribable
it's crazy what you can learn when you are everyone's student, as well as your own teacher.
sometimes i feel something familiar. i recall things or have little inklings, blurs of memories from a certain period of my life, and it inspires something particular in a song i write. i notice that when this happens, i'll pull out old albums that i used to listen to a lot during those times, and i'll find that i hear it in a whole new way.
i've been pulling out a lot of old albums lately... the first garbage album, luscious jackson - fever in and fever out, some aenema, and, even the ol' nevermind. i listened to the latter a few times, surprised at how different it sounded to me now, after evolving and growing as a musician and thus in the way i hear music, period.
i discovered just how much i was influenced by this album, quite by accident. the result is 'come as you are bright,' an interpretation of 'come as you are.' it's really more like a translation of the way i think the music sounded to kurt himself... a reflection of a feeling...
his melodies are so dark and distorted, like waves relentlessly crashing against a shore, but beneath it all, there's just this pure heart, poisoned with a sadness as deep as the ocean itself... to hear the undercurrent, you almost have to flip a switch in your brain, and that's as best as i can describe it... i think i have to flip a switch in my brain to hear things like other people do, LOL...
this is how i hear/write/sing music, just naturally, and i'm sure this album has everything to do with it... i was unaware that i was doing this until someone brought it to my attention, and that someone would be my TWINKIE, patrick. he described this sound in a technical music term that i don't remember :D. well, anyways, there's a name for it...
i notice that it's mostly watery, and then rarely, airy and/or fiery peeps that got the undercurrent down [and all three elements move in currents, interesting] - kurt was a pisces-aquarius cusper; john lennon [libra] could do it, though if you listen to 'while my guitar gently weeps' which is sung by george harrison [pisces], that would be an even better example; hope sandoval [scorpio] does it; shirley manson [cancer] is the queen of it; maynard [aries] does it too when the mood suits the song [best example is sober], and tori [leo] does it sometimes, though mostly on boys for pele [best example is horses, the first track]. note that the last four artists i mentioned all had major hits around the time of nevermind's release.
i've always heard it, this undercurrent... I always understood it, even at the age of 10, when i first heard/saw smells like teen spirit [i saw the music video on mtv before i even heard it on the radio]. the difference in hearing it now is a more educated and mature ear, musically speaking, and understanding on a whole new level.
if you already listened to 'the bright jam' when i had it up, then you know that i was originally writing another song with this guitar riff, tentatively entitled 'bright corridor.' i named it that because that was the name of the effect on the reverb, and it perfectly described the feeling of the sound. i wrote lyrics, was practicing playing it and singing it, and then, out of nowhere, i heard it in my head, bright and clear as day... kurt's tortured voice, singing over mine.
kurt cobain was self-taught on the guitar. he loved punk rock, and just as well, he loved "pop" rock like the beatles and the smithereens...
man, i wish he never pulled that trigger. the world of music would be so much better if he were still around... this song serves as a dedication to him, a requiem if you will... and for that album, which changed my life. and, a gift for my twinkie, of course. :).
i found it hard... it was hard to find... oh well, whatever, nevermind.
<3
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Currently
listening
:
The New Romance
By
Pretty Girls Make Graves
Release date: 09 September, 2003
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