Escape!!!
Current mood: restless

Well hopefully, anyways.  I have to see if the leave-Nazis will let me go.  I don't see why they shouldn't, though.  If staffing is rough it's not my fault.  But anyways, leave!

Yes! I should be going back to Erie the first few weeks of September.  Not the most fun destination, but at the very least I can lay on the couch and play "I am part of the wall, there is nothing to see here" for a little while.  Except for thr weekend I'm going to upstate NY to keep Nicky on his toes.  Well, okay, actually I'm going to go bask in his presence and drink margaritas, but y'know, whatever.

Other than that I have few plans except for loafing.  Maybe hitting the hippy-trippy stores for beads and incense, dragging mom (oh yeah, she'll mind so much) into Weggie's and Whole Foods and World Imports, and eating chicken wings with the old man, whom all should thank for my return as I'm going to plant my size 8 1/2 boot in his tush and make him eat his veggies.  I might have a hard time convincing him that although hops are plants, they don't technically count as veggies, though.  But hey.  Of course I'll do the mall.   I'm not sure why, but I guess it's tradition and that's what matters. 

I warn all that my main intent is R&R, so don't expect me to be particularly anxious to leave the house.  Unless booze, food, or all of the above are included.  And I might still expect bribery/flattery to get me "motivated."

It's no Hawai'i, but I guess it'll do...

So, I'll be back in Dreary Erie soon (hopefully)

Currently listening : Vittorio Release date: 2006-09-12

21:50 - 89 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

Power Outages and Summer Cleaning
Current mood: mellow

So the strangest thing happened last week.  I was standing outside waiting to do the push-up portion of my PT test (3 in under 30 days, yay Army!), and the air felt funny. And there were strange puffy white things in the sky. I couldn't figure out what it was. I mean, the temp was well over 100, but I'd long since accepted that as a daily norm.  No, this was something different.  Something alien... something... damp.  And then it hit me.  It was humid. Really, really humid.  And then the next day we had a massive storm that knocked out power to, like, three cities or something and killed all the cell phone towers.  So no electricity for us... for 16 hours.  Nice.  A day or so later it happened again.  And yes, I went out and played in the rain.  Why? Because I could and besides that, it doesn't rain here nearly enough to pass up the opportunity, even if one has to work all night.

In other news, I'm completely organizing all my crap, getting rid of a lot of said crap, and making my room into a nice pretty haven again.  I might post pictures when I'm done.  And if, after my current room mate leaves and they move someone new in, I will make said new person's life miserable if they mess it up. Not that I'm sick of having to live with/adapt to random complete strangers or anything like that.

I don't care if I have to work five jobs, I will have my own place in college. Period.

Currently listening : CéU By CéU Release date: 2007-04-03

22:12 - 89 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Weekend From Hell
Current mood: sore

Quite literally.  I can think of nothing --not one damn thing-- good about this last weekend.  Actually, the whole week was pretty crap.  First there was a scheduling fiasco in which I was on the schedule, then taken off, then put back on-- and no one told me so I didn't show up.  What the fuck ever.  Then Friday was just crazy stressful-- medical emergencies and flooding rooms and whatnot.  Not cool. 

Saturday was supposed to be different.  Saturday me and the roomie were going to San Diego for four days of fun in the sun.  Or at least we were until that older model four door gold sedan (just in case anyone sees it and feels the need to kick in the windshield for me) decided they just couldn't stay in their lane on the 15... and had to be in ours, while we were still in it.  Evasion was futile. With nowhere else to go (being in the center lane), we ended up lossing control, spinning out, skidding across the other lane of traffic and the dirt median, and then bouncing off of the center divider.  The car should have flipped but didn't. We were both okay (shaken, stirred, bumped and bruised, but okay), but gold-car fucker drove off and left us screwed.  Luckily, there are nice people in this godforsaken state who saw what happened and gave names and numbers as witnesses. 911 is not one of those nice people-- not with three busy signals and an answering machine.  An answering machine.  For 911.  Not cool.  So after a day spent (on zero sleep) in a tow garage, then being picked up by our people (the army is good for some things-- we take care of our own when it really counts).  Then we were in the E.R. for a few hours being checked out "just in case."  As earlier stated, motrin and ice packs abounded but we were fine.

We finally get back, aaand... our toilet had flooded.  

It was like, freakin' perfect. Just freakin' perfect.  We got junk food and movies and basically decided that we coleectively quit.

And that was my lovely weekend.

BEWARE THE GOLD CARS OF CALIFORNIA!!!!!! 

Currently listening : Breakaway By Kelly Clarkson Release date: 2004-11-30

16:57 - 89 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Flip-Flop Perils
Current mood: blah

I am not a big shoe person.  Now don't get me wrong.  I love shopping for and buying shoes... I just don't care to wear them.  I used to have a closet full of shoes that I wore once or bought with the intention of wearing and then never did.  I also used to have a very carefully constructed "Potentially Hideous" shoe collection (and I was damn proud of it, too!).  This was all pretty silly of me considering that I spend at least half of my life barefoot, most of the other half in flip-flops and a very small fraction of the rest in either boots or shoes.  I guess shoes do have a use though, or at least that's what I decided after my toes had an unfortunate meeting with a concrete curb.  Owie, owie, owie.  I don't think I'll loose the nails or anything, but my tooties are going to be suffering for several days, I'd imagine.

In other news, I might have to stop blowing off PT.  I guess they're actually going to start doing something about it if you aren't there and don't have a good excuse.  In my defense, most of the time when I'm not there, it's because I'm still at work.  If they really want me to leave the floor early for pointless PT, I guess I could oblige.  Sometimes, though, I just can't be bothered.  I'm tired of beating my head (toes?) against a wall trying to do something that I feel is just never, ever going to happen.  They've been having me at this for months now, and I'm still fat and slow.  I'd probably do better to just get my big booty on an elliptical or treadmill and just go at it, but I'm too tired. I have no energy any more.  Plus, and I'm sure I've mentioned this before, I really don't care. And, sadly, I don't know that "corrective training" (read: punishment) is going to motivate me. I think I may be a lost cause...

Other than that not much is different.  Still trying to clean and get organized.  Still catching babies, still simply existing.  Life in Bat Country continues...

Currently listening : In with the Old By Pepper Release date: 2004-03-30

20:51 - 89 Comments - 3 Kudos - Add Comment

A Delightful Froth of Nothingness :)
Current mood: mellow

 Exactly what the title says, folks.  It's my first of two nights off and I intend to enjoy them.  I'm sort of cleaning my room, sort of procrastinating online right now.  I've got the jasmine candles going and the Pepper and the Slightly Stoopid playing (idiotic name, decent feel-good music).  Just drooling over Lush (awesome handmade cosmetics-- hella expensive, but their Coalface soap did wonders for my acne) and star jasmine plants and home decor stuff.  Can't wait to have my own place to decorate... but for now I guess I'll settle for decorating my half (or third, rather) of the room.  It's coming together nicely-- needs more plants, though.

I got an awesome new duvet cover-- one side's bright, screaming red and the other is a nice navy blue, and both sides have a nifty white hibiscus pattern.  But it's not the pattern that has me obsessed with lying on my bed, oh no-- the thing feels like silk or something.  Like, it's a cotton or a linen cover, but it has this cool, silky feel to it and it's all soft and a little chilled from the A/C, and it's like mmmm. I'm currently pricing jersey sheets (if there is a heaven on earth, it will be a bed with jersey sheets and that duvet).  I wan some nice sandy-tan colored ones in keeping with my "paradise oasis" theme.  Hey, if I can't live there yet, I might as well be able to pretend.  I'll burn the beach candles and play the ocean surf track, close my eyes and just dream... I'm also looking at these really cool mats from Target-- they're made of polished bamboo slats. Very cool.  I miss hardwood floors.  Infinitely superior to these crappy prison-grey carpets covered in mystery stains that seem to be barracks standard.  I swear, if I ever win the lottery, that's going to be my pet project.  Making the barracks a non-shitty place to live.  The celebrities can save the starving children and the refugees, I just want to make sure the single enlisted soldiers --my people--actually have a decent place to call their own.  Like the b's we had at Fort Bliss.  Not fancy, but nice.  Not depressing.

Random note-- the Army, as we all know, has this trick of making no sense.  You would think, on a god-forsaken outpost in the middle of Bat Country, the accomodations would be better; better PX, better barracks, more stuff to do, that kind of thing.  Nope. Not here. I mean, we have more restaurants than I've ever seen on a post, and we have a sports bar/night club (filled with old men from who-knows-where)... but that's about it.  Everything else is just standard Army Post-issue, and less impressive than most.  Why are posts in the middle of the city fantastic and posts in the middle of nowhere crappy?  Shouldn't it be the opposite?  You know, so that we don't have to drive for two hours to feel human?  Whatever. Over it.

On that note, it's starting to get really hot out here.  Like, really. My pasty German-Irish skin can't handle this sort of climate.  Between the blinding, unyeilding sunlight and the evil temperatures... not good.  It's not even June yet.  I'm so going to die... I'll be found shriveled up and leathery on a lounger under the shade cover by the pool, an empty water bottle in one hand and an empty bottle of SPF-50 in the other. D'oh.

I actually have a four-day weekend next month... I'm thinking of an excursion to San Diego.  Mmm... beach.  Mmm... Mitsuwa.  Mmm... Hodad's. Mmm... civilization.  Even if it is expensive civilization.  I'm sure I'll come up with something fun to do.  Something fun that involves off-post.

Other than that, I'm still "Army Fat" and still sucking on my diet.  I wish I cared more, but sadly I just don't.  Even the prospect of separation can't break through the frustration being being forced into yet another weight-loss strategy that won't work.  They never work.  I may have exploded from a size ten to a size 14, but at least now I have boobs.  Real ones! Even without a bra! And they're perky too, so there!

I still hate my job.  I mean, night shift is awesome, and it tends to be a good time as long as no one's delivering or whining about how uncomfortable they are.  To my ladies out there-- when you are pregnant, and you are carrying another living, kicking, squirming human being around with a single organ in your abdomen, you are going to be uncomfortable, okay?  Your other organs are going to get squished around and compressed and mashed and yes, kicked like soccer balls.  Much like children in general, when you are trying to sleep, baby will be awake and active.  And when you want baby to be awake and active for an NST or and ultrasound or something, baby is going to go to sleep.  You will not be able to eat whatever you want.  You will not be able to do some things you might want to do.  You will be tired.  You will ache. You will probably get heartburn and be nauseous a lot. Your body will go completely haywire and yes, unless you are a movie star, you will gain weight.  Lots and lots of weight. But you will still have to function like every other human being on the planet unless your pregnancy is complicated, which is a really bad thing I would not wish on my worst enemy. Then you can sit around on your butt and make people wait on you, if you're fortunate enough to have people to wait on you. Most people outside of your family and close friends will not care if you're pregnant or not and will not give you special treatment.  And when you are squeezing said human being out of your body, it will hurt.  It will hurt during birth and it will hurt for quite a while after birth, and it will hurt a whole lot more if you get a c-section.  In most cases, you will live.  From what I see on a daily basis, there is nothing about pregnancy or childbirth that is even remotely easy, happy, shiny, neat, pretty, comfortable, cozy, warm, fuzzy, pain-free, or like it is in the movies (except maybe your emotions, and those will be scrambled too, don't worry).  Got it?  If you are not okay with that, make like me and befriend your baby-repellent (aka birth control) until you either are okay with it or can no longer reproduce.  If you're really paranoid about it use condoms, too (which most of you should be doing anyways).

And if you think that part sounds bad, just remember that babies grow into children who grow into teenagers... who grow into me.

MWAHAHAHAHA!

So moving on, I have the munchies.  But I filled my room with stupid healthy food and I don't want any of it.  I don't know what I want, but the spinach and tomato salad I'm going to wind up with is almost definitely not it. Gr.

Currently listening : Everything You Need By Slightly Stoopid Release date: 2003-03-18

22:44 - 89 Comments - 1 Kudos - Add Comment

Ha! Slow no longer!
Current mood: triumphant

As of today, the army can only yell at me for being fat.  I passed my PT test!  Woo hoo!  Although I'm a little pissed that apparently I shrank a half of an inch in a month, but whatever.  I'm sure I'll gain another two next month to make up for it (eye roll).  And on that note, they decided to move PT to the morning.  Which is fine, I guess, except I'll be at work most of those mornings.  Their answer was to have dayshift come in early.... two hours early.  Yeah.  That'll go over about like a lead brick.  So I'm curious to see what's going to happen... not that I could make it every day before.  I'm sorry, I'm not giving myself vertigo again just so the army can feel good about my weight (they think my vertigo was somehow related to not getting enough sleep. Me?  Not enough sleep? Please).

I also think I might have gotten a refund check for $150 from the nursing test folks.  I'll find out tonight... that would be freakin' sweeeeet.  Money is good, especially unexpected money! 

And now I'm off to eat, because in order to pass the run I sort of wound up making myself more than a little sick.  But I passed.  And it was on the TRACK! 

(giddiness)

Yeah.... enough of that.

17:54 - 89 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment

Aloha Hawai’i!!!
Current mood: excited

Yeah, I know I should be sleeping, but being up literally all day yesterday at the range made it really hard to stay awake all night... okay, made it impossible to stay awake all night, and so I was up this morning by nine thirty.  Insomniac DEFEATED!

But anyways, that's right-- I'm going to Hawaii again this year.  I talked it over with Eazy last night, and I'm going to start saving so I can go for ten days or so in the fall-- maybe October/November.  While I'm down there, I'm going to take a look at the University of Hawai'i at Manoa campus and see how I like it. I'd really, REALLY like to go to school there, it's just so damn expensive.  Plus, by the time I'm free of this infernal contract, none of my friends will be there anymore because heavens forfend the army just leave people where they're happy.  (enough of that for now-- that rant's a whole 'nother blog)  I'm also going to maybe see if I can check out some of the other islands-- I really want to see the big island and especially Molokai (don't ask me why, I don' know).

So that's my current distraction to put my mind off of this craphole they've turned my existance into.

Speaking of distractions, check out www.engrish.com for high amusement and some of the coolest shirts EVER!

13:54 - 89 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

Living in the Void
Current mood: annoyed

So I’ve had four days off, and in those days I have accomplished absolutely nothing.  I haven’t cleaned or organized anything, and the mounting pile of crud beside my bed is starting to grate on my nerves (and if it’s bothering me, my room mate must be planning to smother me in my sleep... except I don’t sleep).  I mean to, I just never do.

I’m sick of shopping online.  I keep finding adorable dresses on eBay at great prices, allegedly in my size (I go by measurments, not the tag size). I buy them, get them, try them on... and while they look okay, nice even, they aren’t great.  Either my hips are too big or my boobs aren’t big enough.  I am still trying to figure out how I’m a size 16 for some things and a size 10 for others.  The fashion industry needs to just stop kidding themselves and get one size chart down.  ONE.  So that wherever you go and whatever you buy, you know what size to look for.  None of this small, medium, large stuff, and none of this  "0" and "00" crap.  If you are too skinny to wear a clothing size with an actual number, you shouldn’t be trying to buy any.  You should be spending your money on FOOD, which is more important than clothing anyways.  Not that anyone down here in southern Cali gets that point... they’d all rather go naked than wear anything other than Gucci anyways.

All of this confusion and anger could be avoided if there were anywhere to shop in this void they call Fort Irwin, CA.  There’s nothing here.  And the stuff that is here, sucks. I don’t want to drive two hours to go shopping.  I don’t even want to drive one.  And I love to shop. I don’t care what kind of shopping, any shopping will do.  Hell, grocery shopping tends to be the highlight of my week.

I want to go shopping, get my hair done and get spray tanned without spending three hours in a car. Dammit.

15:14 - 89 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

Vertigo!!!
Current mood: nauseated

Not the one you want!

So there I was, snoozing away, feeling okay, when the phone rings at around ten.  I sit upright to grab said phone... and the whole world starts spinning.  I manage to answer the phone, have a coherent conversation with the captain on the other end (oddly enough about a medical appointment), hang up and have just enough time to make it to the bathroom before spewing my guts out.  I sit on the side of the tub for a few minutes to wait it out... however, when it becomes apparent that the spinning is not going to stop anytime soon, I stumble back to bed with the hopes that sleeping some more would help.

My alarm goes off at around 1300, because I had to go to the post office. Remembering the morning’s issues, I get up veeeeery slowly, get dressed veeeery slowly, and walk veeeery slowly to the company.  I get my mail (yay for packages!) and make my way back to the room.  I don’t feel great, I’m still dizzy, but I feel certainly better than this morning.  I eat a bowl of nice bland cereal and watch some mind-numbing crap on MTV until I lull back into a state of sleepiness.  My alarm goes off again at three so I can start getting ready for PT.  I stand up, grab my uniform, go into the bathroom.... and puke again.  So I take it upon myself to say, "Screw PT, it’s gym day anyways," take a luke-warm bath and curl up with my Gir blanket, hideous orange fuzzy pillow and Marius Bearius.  I sleep until 1730. I wake up.  I cautiously sit up.  I feel fine! Huzzah, the sleeping worked!  Is tand u p, I walk to the kitcheonette to start packing my dinner, and... turn to the thrash can and am violently ill again.

So not cool.

So I skip the dinner, thow some saltines in my backpack, and head for the hospital.  By the time I get there, I feel similar to the way I felt on the boat heading out to the submarine in Hawaii. The damn planet will. not. stop. rolling.  I go to the floor to see who’s working and am relieved to find that A.) there are three of us on shift and B.) things are relatively mellow (we don’t say the "Q" word on the mother-baby unit).  I go down to the ER.   After being teased about catching the highly contagious Ft. Irwin Pregnancy Virus (which I have not), I am made to pee in a cup and climb onto a terrifyingly high chair.  Where I sit for ten minutes until a doc comes in, asks a few questions, pokes at my tummy and does a neuro exam.  My ears are examined and I am told I have veritgo. Vertigo! I mean... what the hell! I’m taking it for fancy speak that I have yet another inner ear infection.  I don’t know how I could have gotten one; I avoid water in my ears like the plague and carry a pocket full of alcohol swabs for the sole purpose of cleaning stethescope ear pieces, but that’s the best I can guess. 

I am moved to a treatment room and given an IV (puking all day and being semi-afraid to drink anything rapidly leads to dehydration). It take two tries to get a vein, but I don’t hold that against them.  I’m a difficult stick for an IV on the best of days, and this was not the best of days.  And personally, I’m not that great at them and so have little room to talk.  I am then given a nice dose of diazepam-- Valium to most people.  Oh. My. God. I don’t know how people can get addicted to that stuff because I am not a fan. It stopped the stomach-twisting spinning, but I can’t say which was worse.  It’s the weirdest sensation EVER.  Just... so not cool.

I finish my bolus of fluids and am sent home with 24 hours of quarters, a follow up appointment for tomorrow, more of the evil diazepam and some meclizine. I am warned about 80 times not to take them together under threat of a stomach pumping (ew). 

On the way back to my room, I stop for some ginger ale and saltines.  Turns out the shopette carries niether.  Even more miserable I leave with 7up and Club crackers.  So not what my tummy wants.  I am nowhere near sleepy, which is odd because diazepam is supposed to do that to you. 

I also still feel like total and utter crap.

Okay, whining complete... for now.

21:17 - 89 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

Life in a Survey
Current mood: breezy

1. How late did you stay up last night and why?
0130 because I was soaking int he bathtub with bath salts, candles, and a copy of Allure.  Why?  Because I can.