The Saddest Thing
Current mood: guilty

I was half asleep on the couch earlier. I felt Diamond jump up on the cushion next to me, and rub up against my side. I reached over to pet her, and found that she wasn't really there.

12:31 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

How is this supposed to work??
Current mood: aggravated

So, I have twelve horses to do today. Yes, 12. 10+2 Horses. Twelve. Supposing I manage to make it through all these horses, I will make $480. I could really use some of that right now. I have a $740 truck payment coming up, plus rent, plus my motorcycle payment, plus truck insurance, which is just about as much as the truck payment itself.

Not to mention that I saw diesel today for $4.46 a gallon. That's very bad news. Yeah. Almost $5.00 a gallon. I have a 35 gallon tank, so do the math. No, seriously. Do the math. I can't. I suck at it. All I know is that it's a fucking lot of money.

I've also taken a new doctor. Well, I started Arm and Hand Rehab, because I have tendinitis in my left arm, also known as my "tong hand". For those of you who don't know, the tong hand is the "smart hand", because it's the only one that moves around when forging. The Hammer Hand just moves up and down. It's strictly labor. Therefore, it's not that important. So, rehab is just yet another expense. BUT I need this so that I can spend more money on entry fees to go to the NCC in May and compete in a forging contest for 4 straight hours. Without rehab, my tendinitis will for sure not allow me to finish.

You know what, this started out as a bulletin, but I think I'm going to turn it into a blog. I feel like this is waaaay too long for a bulletin, and it's not really something that needs to be broadcasted in that fashion. Plus, I haven't blogged in quite a while.

8:23 AM - 1 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Have you ever heard me laugh??
Current mood: aroused

I was just sitting at the dinner table at my parents house while they ate. I said something really stupid, and EVERYONE got really quiet. Then my little sister made the "awkward turtle" hand gesture, and I fucking LOST IT! I laughed so hard I was freakin CRYING! You should know that when I think something is really, really funny, I laugh really, really weird. I can't control it. It's been compared to a hyena. Well, apparently my tongue vibrates when I laugh. I didn't know about this till tonight, when Vickie's boyfriend pointed it out. So thank you, Bill. I'll never laugh in confidence again.

6:59 PM - 3 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

I was a mean little kid...
Current mood: accomplished
Category: Life

I had a lot of time to sit on my ass and think today while waiting for the Kerosene people to show up and fill my tank. They told me they'd be there "in the afternoon" which apparently meant any time between 12:01 pm and 6:00 pm. Anyway, I began reflecting on the things I did as a youngster. Being the middle child, I was pretty much doing anything I could to get attention, ethical or not. My little brother and sister were the tragic victims of my attempts.

I remember one of my very first "practical jokes" was played on Vickie, my little sister. I was like 5... We were still living in Lafayette at the time. Vickie was maybe three or so. For some reason, she really liked salt. Don't ask me why. She was three. Three year olds are always weird. Anyway, in the back yard, we had some white sand around our little treed area. I grabbed a huge piece of eucalyptus bark, piled it high with sand, and went in search of poor Vickie. When I found her, I showed her the 'salt' that I had found, and offered to pour it into her mouth for her. Ever trusting of her older sibling, she obliged. I poured a pretty good amount into her before she realized that this was not salt at all. She started crying, and told on me. I knew I was gonna be in BIG trouble, so I ran and hid. unfortunately, our small back yard didn't have a whole lot of space to hide in, so I opted for going behind a tree roughly two inches in diameter. I was found, and spanked.

Yep. That pretty much set the standard for the rest of my early childhood. Later on, we adopted my Pit Bull, Pinkie. I was 10, kirk and vickie were seven or eight. I told them that if they let Pinkie lick their Popsicles, and then they licked directly after her, they would absorb her ability to run really, really fast. This entertained me to no end, watching them lick their popsicles, then race against each other.

When we lived in Concord, we were on a pretty good sized piece of land, but we were only allowed to play in a small fenced area. Everything else was off-limits. I told kirk and vickie that if they went outside the fence, and ran down the hill, small blood-sucking animals that looked like dirt-clods would jump up and bite their legs. I called them "Leg Biters". I was very original.

I even went so far as to convince my little sister that I turned into a fox at night, and lived in a culvert at the bottom of the property.

I think we all turned out alright despite all that, however.

You know what though? I really suck at writing conclusions.

Currently reading : Siblings Without Rivalry: How to Help Your Children Live Together So You Can Live Too By Adele Faber Release date: 14 December, 2004

5:33 PM - 1 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

I think I have a feral Chinchilla
Current mood: confused

Some of you don't know, but about a year ago I was really into buying a Chinchilla. I bought all of the equipment, such as housing, toys, books ("Chinchillas for Dummies"), and about a mile of crawl tubes. Well, at that time, I was leaving for Cincinnati for a conference, so I had to put that idea on hold. However, I had set up all this stuff in my spare bedroom, so that my future Chinchilla would have a room to itself. (her name was going go be Tequila, before the whole "A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila" thing. That's a mere coincidence.)

Well, after I got back from the conference I was poor from spending so much money on Hotels, food, alcohol at the bars, and shiny new tools. Needless to say, I never got the Chinchilla. But recently, I've noticed that Pinkie and I are not alone in our house. I've found footprints in the dust on things that are too big for, lets say, a mouse or even a rat. They're like this big: |----------------------------| On top of the crawl tubes are droppings that are waaay the hell too big for a mouse. They resemble toad droppings in size, if you are familiar with toad droppings, as I am. It seems like something actually might be living among my Chinchilla equipment. I'm seriously considering setting out a trap...like a cat trap or something to see what I get.

I think it would be really cool to have a squirrel living with me. I just recently looked up Monkeys on the internet to see what kind of evidence monkeys leave behind, but unfortunately I don't think it's one of those. I'm like 100% sure that it's not a mouse or a rat. First of all, I already have the hard evidence (droppings, footprints...), but also, Pinkie is a trained Mouser. Yes. Back when she was but a wee lil pup, we trained her to search out the tree rats outside and kill them. More recently, and what I believe to be much more useful, I taught her to hunt spiders as well. It's quite fascinating to watch this Pit Bull search the shadows, find those eight-legged pieces of hell, and tear the shit out of them before they have a chance to bite me in my sleep, or perhaps crawl down my throat, which I hear so much about.

Anyway, I got a bit off-subject. My point is, Pinkie would have already killed a mouse, rat, or abnormally large spider. I'm sharing a house with an unknown animal who will potentially be my pet chinchilla replacement. I hope it's something cool. I also hope it's not a trained assassin. Pinkie hasn't acquired the skills necessary to kill something like that. I should probably teach her to do that anyway, just in case.

Currently watching : Resident Evil - Extinction (Widescreen Special Edition) Release date: 01 January, 2008

9:25 AM - 1 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Something only Amazon.com knows...
Current mood: blah

In case you didn't know, if you join Amazon.com, they give you a list of recommended items based on items that you checked out or actually bought. Well, because I checked out a book by comedian Chelsea Handler, I would apparently be interested in a little DVD called "A Strippers Tail: Confessions of a Las Vegas Stripper -by DIAMOND." Well, apparently Amazon.com is trying to tell me something. Also among the recommended items were Whey Protein Powder, Hungry Hank Bowie Knife, and the DVD "Fingersmith", a movie about a young lesbian couple. So, for those of you who don't know, I am a really buff, lesbian hunter. I wouldn't have known this were it not for Amazon.com, and I thank them for outing me to myself.

In other heterosexual news, work was pretty dang tough today. I had to trim a really large Percheron horse out in Omo Ranch, then go down to Auburn to shoe an appaloosa, and then go out Highway 49 to Crystal Blvd. to trim 4 thoroughbreds. All together there were about three hundred miles that I traveled today. It took about four hours of drive time, and I made about three hundred dollars. I don't think it was entirely worth it. And then I get home, all tired and sore (because only one out of all of those horses was well behaved) and I can't take a bath, because there are three spiders in my bathtub. So I had to settle for a shower, which helped, but damn. I'm out of vicoden, all I have is tequila, which I HATE, and I just found out I'm a lesbian, despite my heterosexual tendencies.

6:58 PM - 1 Comments - 1 Kudos - Add Comment

I trimmed a goat today.
Current mood: confused

And it screamed bloody fuckin murder the whole time! But that's not exactly what I'm writing about here today. There's something that's kind of been bugging me. Not exactly in a bad way, but it's been making me think.

What's the deal with dreams? And what do they mean? There's got to be something to them, because at that point it seems like our sub-conscious is on crack, working a million times harder than it does when we're awake. Like, for example, I know that some of us dream in black and white, some of us in color. Some of us have vivid, clear dreams, while others are more vague. And occasionally I think that sometimes we experience a little bit of everything. I ALWAYS dream in color, and 90% of the time my dreams are very vivid, and extremely lifelike. I even recall past dreams that I've had while I'm in a dream. For example, I have this recurring situation where There's an emergency, usually someone I know is hurt badly, or theres a fire or something. whenever get my cell to call 911, the call won't go through. There's usually some stupid ad that has to play before the operator will pick up (like when you call free 411) or there will be no service, or I'll have to dial the area code before 911, stupid shit like that.

Well, sometimes I'll be in a dream, calling 911, thinking that it's real life. And I'm thinking, at least this isn't a dream, otherwise 911 wouldn't work. And then it still doesn't work, because still I'm in a dream. It's really frustrating, and I don't know what that means! I don't know if it's like there's something in life that I should be able to rely on, but that thing (or person?) keeps letting me down or what.

Also, I don't know if anyone else experiences this or not (I really don't think I'm alone here) but sometimes I'll dream that I throw something, and when it hits, it makes a loud BANG! And in real life, at that same exact time, an apple will fall off the apple tree outside my window and hit the roof with that same loud noise. So theoretically, my subconscious knew that the apple was going to fall, and created a scenario in my dream to account for the noise. I don't know if this is making any sense, or if I sound like some rambling idiot or what. I know it wouldn't be the first time!

So maybe some of you can help me out here, let me know what you think. Tell me you think I'm crazy, or tell me that you experience similar things, or what. Just don't leave me in the dark here!!

12:36 AM - 2 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

All in a days work.

I don't really have a whole lot to say today... like nothing in particular has sparked some sort of need to vent via my blog. However, I'm bored. I leave to go to work in 15 minutes. That is really the last place I want to go. I know that 95% of the working public say that about their jobs. Let me tell you why I don't give a fuck about those people. Those people work in air conditioned buildings, and their major grievance is that the people who frequent their place of work (customers, coworkers, etc..) are idiots. What I wouldn't give to be in that situation!!! Don't get me wrong, I love my job, but it gets less lovable when it's 100+ degrees out.

In a typical work day, I show up around 8:00 in the morning in an attempt to beat the heat of the day (I never do, but I try). The client sometimes forgets that I'm coming, and is thus completely unprepared when I arrive. While they go look for their horse who has wandered off to the far reaches of their pasture, I set up my anvil, forge (thing that heats up the shoes... I don't know why no one ever knows that), and get all my tools ready. The client brings the horse up, who's hooves look like they've been mauled by a rabid dog. It's my job to make them pretty again. By now it's reached around 90 degrees outside. Keep in mind, I have to wear jeans, every day, no matter what the weather. I also have to wear heavy leather chaps to protect my legs. So I pull off the old shoes, cut away all the fungus-y stuff from the hooves which smells as if something died, and trim the hooves down to their happy state of normal. During this whole process, the horse has forgotten it's ability to stand on his other three legs, and instead decides to lean all his weight on my 115 pound body. No problem.

NOW I get to stand up (one of my favorite parts of the job. That's the only break we get- standing up for two minutes while we prepare the shoes). I put the shoes in the forge, and turn it on. The forge quickly reaches it's peak temperature of 2200 degrees. Yes, two thousand two hundred degrees. When the shoes are at an orange heat (much hotter then red hot) I pull them out, shape them with a massive hammer and attempt to get them to match the foot with EXACTLY a dimes width of space sticking out from the heels. Yeah. Try that sometime. Then, when the shoe has cooled down to a black heat (but is still around 800-900 degrees) I stick it on the horses hoof to smoke the fit. And it smokes.... a lot. I ALWAYS accidentally inhale the smoke. Always. So I wait until I can breathe again, quench the shoe in some water, and nail it on the hoof. If I'm really lucky, the nails sticking out of the hoof do not pierce my skin. If I'm LUCKY. I repeat that on the other three feet, with the owner breathing down my neck the who time, trying to convince me that they know how to do my job better than I can.

So, in conclusion, while you are wasting away behind your counter, desk, classroom, whatever, know that I'm out there risking bodily harm to keep shoes on our country's horses. Yeah, bitch.

8:01 AM - 1 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

What goes on in my shower...
Current mood: blah

Some of you know that I never shower alone. Don't get too excited just yet- it's not what you think. There has been generations of spiders that live above my shower head, and through time, I have watched the many goings-ons of my little roommates.

Currently, only one spider resides here. Her name is Sara. Sara is about to lay eggs. She moved in just a couple of days ago, and still seems to be kind of unsure about her new digs. She's quite flighty by nature, and this behavior can sometimes be entertaining. Last night, whilst I was in the shower, Sara dropped down to say hello. Unfortunately, Sara does not realize that coming below the shower tile is strictly forbidden because I am quite flighty around spiders. I'm sure she is intrigued by this. Anyway, I gently blew in her face to let her know that she aught to turn around and walk away. She got the hint, and did so. At the end of my shower, I innocently offered her a drink of water. Apparently, I scared her. She tripped, and fell down the wall. I felt really bad, and offered her a tiny moth that I had caught flitting around me in an annoying manner.

I figured she could use the food, as she is currently eating for 48. However, she refused, and I seem to have burned a valuable bridge. Hopefully she can come to forgive me, and in return, I will allow her 47 babies to roam freely above the shower tile in my bathroom.

4:38 PM - 1 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

I don't care about your dates.
Current mood: frustrated

This is kind of an open letter to everyone out there who is in a relationship.

Dear everyone,
I don't fucking care! I'm glad that you're in a relationship with someone you like. I'm glad that you have someone that you can be that close to. Really, I am. However, you don't need to remind me every fucking minute that you have a boyfriend/girlfriend. Good for you. Stop making out with each other in front of me. Don't start climbing all over each other when we're watching a movie together. I didn't come to sit near some people practically fucking in the chairs next to me. I came to watch a movie. Keep a little bit of distance- PLEASE.

Furthermore, when we have plans to hang out, DO NOT call me at the last minute to ditch me to go 'watch tv' with them. That's the ultimate insult. If you didn't want to go to the movies, or to dinner, or to do whatever with me, you should have just told me in the first place. It would have saved me a hell of a lot of hurt to find out you would rather fuck someone else than be with me. And when we do actually manage to hang out, don't talk constantly about your significant other. it makes me feel like you would rather be with them than me, and that's not a good feeling.

And when you're with me, please, be WITH me. Don't be texting little love notes to each other during the pauses of our conversation. Could you be more rude? I would give the same courtesy if I were the one in the relationship. I am capable of being AWAY from my boyfriend. You should try it sometime. And this brings me to my next point: I don't need to be in a relationship to feel good about myself and to be happy. Stop assuming that I NEED a boyfriend, or that I NEED to get laid. I am actually perfectly happy being single. I am not jealous of your relationship. I am not envious. I am happy that you are happy, and I am happy being single.

So there you have it. I don't care if you think I'm a self-centered bitch. I just can't stand someone being all 'kissy-face' with someone all the time.

3:17 PM - 1 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment