Oil is retarded!

Being Early Pays Off
I was two hours early for my flight from CHI to Detroit (I don't know the abbreviation for Detroit). This was a good thing. The flight was delayed, which meant I would miss my connection. I didn't catch this, the Northwestern employee did. They put me on an earlier flight. This. was. awesome.

-I got rushed through security (no lines, no waiting, and the lines were LOOONG!)
-I made it to the gate with enough time to buy a Starbucks
-I sat in the wrong row by mistake. It was the exit row, the one with all the leg room. No one showed up to make me move, so I got to stay!

In Detroit
The airport has a damn monorail that runs INSIDE the terminal, just like at the Contemporary Resort at WDW! And it's red! So cool. I waited patiently for my flight to board. Then I heard it: "If you'd like to volunteer to be bumped from this flight, we're looking for three people. You'll get a $300 free flight anywhere and a free hotel stay." I walked as fast as i could before a walk becomes a run, and was the first person to the counter. One other guy was next to me. He tried to edge me out and I didn't let him. I want my ticket, ho! And not only did I get my voucher for the ticket and the hotel room, I also got a voucher for a free dinner! Woo to the hoo!

Hotel
So here I am typing in the "business room," the place with two crappy PCs and one printer. I had my free dinner and am about to go to bed because my flight tomorrow is at 6 damn 40am in the damn morning.

Improv Teacher
The teacher of the class I took in CHI wrote me a nice note asking me if there was anything he could have done to make me stay for the last half of class. I told him the class just wasn't for me and that the big thing that's more important than that is that I need a director for my show. I took his class because it was the closest I could get to someone who knew more than me helping me get better at solo improv. I'm now in NYC where I know no one. I asked if he knew anyone.

News
I bought today's Wall Street Journal. Why? Cuz y'all know I am a wannabe busines tycoon! I read a bunch of stories and they all piss me off. Read today's paper if you can, then see if you don't agree with me.

-If gas prices cause folks to move to alternative modes of transport to get to and from work, ie a bike, carpooling, public transport, HOW IS THIS A BAD THING?

-Politics is JUST like PerezHilton.com. One side says one thing about the other, the other says one thing about the other, and it never ends. Both parties are retarded.

-Instead of the two presidential candidates raising millions just to turn around and spend it on campaign ads, if Obama used the money to show one way he can problem-solve innovatively, ie: give the damn money to charity, form a charity, start a program, whatever, he would get TONS of free press from that. Let me be clear (as he says) what I am saying is, if he spent ALL the money on charity or some new fangled program that helped thousands of people learn to read, buy a house, or get a job... that'd be newsworthy! He'd help the world AND get his PR done. And he'd make McCain look like a douche for spending over $100 million on freaking tv ads. This idea came to me when I thought "Both parties have over $100 million ready to be spent on advertising? If they took that money and did something with it that helped America, wouldn't that be cool?

-The economy sucks. 6,500 stores are expected to close this year. 

-GM is dying. Their stock is around $10, the lowest it's been since the 1950s. And it appears the cause is not the economy, but the douches that run the company. Hey, when you're failing and someone else is succeeding, what do you do? You LEARN FROM THEM! GM... could you please visit a Toyota sales lot and take some notes. Ok thanks.

-Oil is retarded. It's gonna go above $200 a barrel, which means about $6 a gallon, because people are willing to pay it because they cannot comprehend life without a car. I ride a subway now. It's do-able. Horrid, but do-able. And if I keep it up, my transportation costs will be $80 a month! Can you imagine that? $80! Eat that, car drivers.

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Monday, July 7, 2008: Travel day CHI to NYC
Category: Travel and Places

No shows
I'd planned on seeing shows every night I was here. Didn't. Both nights I went to bed at... 6pm! Last night I was woken by the sounds of German men talking in my room. They were loud and German, but it was 10pm, one hour before the official "Quiet Hours" (11pm-7am). An Australian woke me and the guy beneath me (I am on a bunkbed) to ask who was sleeping on the vacant bed, as someone he didn't know was sleeping on his bed. He thankfully woke up the guy above his newly gained bunk who was snoring.

Not quitting
I don't want anyone to think I am quitting improv, based on my last post. I was saying that the frustration made me FEEL like quitting. I do leave Chicago in a weird state, with slightly negative thoughts about the city in my head. I know friends who've come here and taken the 5-week workshops. I'd try them at IO, but probably not at Second City. There's something about the classrooms that repels me. They're... nice. They're too nice. The whole education "wing" looks like a small graphic design company, with one-person offices lining one hallway, with glass walls and windows looking onto the streets below. The classrooms are almost too well-lit for an improv school. Maybe I'm just used to the dumpiness of SAK and am under the delusion that all improv schools and theatres must be in a constant state of financial ruin... Second City appears to be in the opposite world.

Second City also wears their glory days (and superstars) on their sleeves (and walls). You're reminded at every turn about the celebs they've spawned. From a marketing perspective, this makes sense. Everyone wants to be John Belushi. And then from a broke actor's persective, it makes me sick. Of course I'm going to be impresed by their student body, but put the successes next to the un-successes, and then tell me why I should go to classes there. I mean, you could say the same with IO, I suppose. But they still maintain that scrappy grungy underdog appearance in their theatres (they have two in one space).

Training
For me, I am reminded that there is a wall around me that won't let me be good. It protects me from being vulnerable on stage, and in life. My vocal coach even called me out on it a couple weeks ago, after singing a few lines of a song! I experienced it in the workshop this week. I don't want to experience the real human emotions, so I am limited in my range of what I can do onstage.

I'd comeback for a summer session at IO. But, I think I'd make more enemies than friends, because the type of training I feel like I may need would piss me off because it would cut through that wall. The classs would hate me, but I may be a better improvisor for it.

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Sunday July 7, 2008 Done with Improv for the rest of my life

Done!
This afternoon after the first portion of the solo improv workshop, I was done with improv, improv cabaret, trying, exerting effort and breathing. I was angry, frustrated, confused... I wasn't understanding what he was teaching, and everyone else was. When it popped into my head "This is what college felt like," THAT's when I knew I had to leave. There was no solution, no remedy. I couldn't verbalize my angst and if I returned to the class after the lunch break without trying to share my frustration, I wouldn't be in a productive place for both myself and the class. So, I returned to the room during the break (it was empty), got my bag and walked out. I saw the teacher as I was going up the stairs to get my bag. I thought "I should say something," but I couldn't verbalize anything. It was just raw anger and frustration.

The rest of the day
...was nice. I walked down the "Magnificent Mile" once again (the name reminds me of Oprah) and this time weaved down side streets to see the buildings that caught my eyes the first time I walked down "the mile" yesterday.

Thief
While in a Starbucks, I saw a man in front of me in line put a double shot (in a can) in his pocket. He then told me to "Go ahead," as in go ahead in front of him, and walked out. I told the woman in front of him, and now me, that he took the can. She worked there and told her co-workers what he'd done. Did she give me a reward? No. So I stole a can myself. KIDDING.

"We have to brew it. Do you mind waiting?"
So SICK of ;'Bucks not having Decaf brewed and them NOT ONLY asking me to wait, but not giving it to me for free. We compromised and I got an "Ameri-misto" (3 shots of whatever that crap is, mixed with steamed milk). I am too poor to be going to Starbucks. Have I mentioned this?

Thirty seconds
The computer is about to shut down. BYE!

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Saturday Morning, July 5, 2008
Category: Travel and Places

Wake
Last night I got home at 12:30am after leaving the IO 10pm show at 11:30pm, riding the subway to the hostel and buying a foot-long sub. I stayed up another hour eating said sub and checking email/myspace/facebook. THEN I went to bed....

...and woke up at 6:15am via the new alarm clock I downloaded to my phone yesterday. It works! Yes, my damn Sidekick dows not have an alarm! You can jerry-rig the calendar feature to wake you, but for an unknown reason, it stopped working a week ago.

Shower?
I get down to the floor from my top bunk and gather all the things I need to shower and change with in the 4th floor public bathroom, walk to the bedroom door and remember "I'm going on a walk, not showering!" I often wonder if I need a different medication. One for alzheimers.

The walk
The hostel I am in is smack dabbeldy dab in the crack of downtown Chicago, so I walk a walk to beautiful Grant Park. The old part, with giant lawns of short trees planted in rows, contrasted with the Millenial Park area, with it's divided walled sections and Gherry (sp?) designed aphitheatres and bridges. And both of thos parts contrasted with the 1980's-styled Bicentenial Park, with it's Cancer Memorial (yes, a tribute to Cancer complete with pillars (of strength I'm assuming) and gardens and inspirational engravings of hope next to thwe rich people's names who paid for it all). The prettiest aspect of all three was how (andim trying to use flowery faggoty language) the morning sunlight dappled through the leaves, reflected off the small water features sprouting under the modern walkways and kissed my milky virginal supple skin like that kiss after a first cotillian dance.

There's a bike storage building sponsored by McDonalds, too.


Yoga
On the upper west side of NYC there's a few signs here and there saying "free outside yoga classes" presented by the city and parks. I've wanted to try them out but haven't. And now that I'm in Brooklyn, and not what appears at first glance to be a yoga type of place, I probably won't try them due to the distance. Well, Chicago has the same thing, in Grant Park. There are 3 classes at 6am, 7am and 8am every Saturday on the green in front of the gherry (sp?) designed amphitheatre. It does exist and it is cool looking. If they have it downtown (in NYC) I wanna try it.

Breakfast
The hostel serves a free continental breakfast and I'm eating it. So I have to go. Bye.

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Friday July 4 Part Two

A full day of travel. Jesus.
I landed in Chicago at 4pm. By the time I got to the hostel, it was 5:30pm. I woke up at 5:30am this morning. So yes, a full 12 hours of travel. This should not be. Doesn't that sound odd?

First things first
I need a belt! I can't wear running shorts to shows at Improv Olympic! I walk 10 blocks to a Macys and lay down twenty bucks for an ugly belt and another $20 at H&M for a sweatshirt because the evening is getting unexpectedly cold. It's 7pm by the time I'm done and I've still got a 20 minute subway ride to the theatre for the 8pm show. I make it with time to spare to catch "Improvised Shakespeare Theatre" group do a 1.5 hour show. Great! Loved it. I got that "How do they DO that?" feeling throughout the show. The actors didn't crack up at each other until later in the 2nd act. I admire that. I laugh at myself at the drop of a hat now. Such a self-indulgent habit, in my opinion. I admire those who can make others laugh and yet keep a straight face themselves. I blame Robyn P for this. haha.

Kill
I killed time between that show ending at 9:30pm and the next show starting at 10:20pm. Oh, and SAK? You listening? Yeah, IO has TWO theatres running TWO shows at once. Hello. Get a grant and turn all that wasted space in the back into a second performance space. The 10:30pm show was not as good as the Shakespeare, but enjoyable. I left at 11:30pm to avoid any post-midnight subway drama that might occur do to subway schedules.

Night
I'm going to bed in my ten-to-a-room room now.

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Friday July 4, 2008 travel to Chicago part 1
Category: Travel and Places

Belt
Got up at 5:30am and was out the door by 7:30am. In between those times, I wrote down the showtimes and address of Improv Olympic (I want to see shows hopefully every night I'm here), address of the same hostel I stayed in in June (as well as directions from O'Hare to the hostel). I also cleared up this "Happy Days" video submission question. The official due date is August 8. I'm gonna be in CA (site of the in-person auditions) July 24-27. The invited auditions take place July 28. I was gonna try to get the video in before then so that the option was there for me to be seen on the 28, should they want to. Depending on when I tape this thing (2 songs and side-reading) I will be able to get it in around the time of the EPA and ECC (July 11, 14). I don't really know how all this works, to be honest. Just gonna try my best to even get the video made if I can even do that.

I wrapped that online crap up, made the HUGE decision to leave behind (a) my laptop and (b) my ipod. Just gonna tote around 3 days worth of clothes in my ghetto cloth Publix bag. Light and easy travel. Yes, I'm buying a new bag so I can stop carrying this green thing.

So, I get all packed. The room is set for my return.(I stage the room so when I cme back, it's nice. As nice as a room with nothing in it but clothes can be). I pee and zip up. I pull my belt and SNAP, the bucket pulls completely off of the belt. I'm in size 34 shorts (I'm not a 34) so without the belt, they fall off. And, it's 7:30am. No clothing stores are open at 7:30am. And I'm catching a plane! Disaster!

The only solution I could come up with was to change into my running shorts. I hate them. They're too short (not like Chase Padgett's in his Fringe show, but above the knee) and they're just not what I enjoy wearing. But, they're all I've got. I pack the huge shorts in my Publix bag and I'm off.

Unhealthy
I think it was my nervousness about flying... I've eaten crap all morning: McDonalds biscuit meal, 3/4 of a pretzel/pepperoni thing, a $5 airline box of junk food (6-pack of Oreos, 3 crackers, 2 cheese strips, 1 can of chicken salad and a tiny bag of 300 calorie trail mix). I am aware of the situation and will commence vomiting.

Travel
Wow. I live far from Newark Airport: 1.5 hours with the subway (one train change at 14th street) and the $15 train from 34th Street (Penn Station) to the 3rd stop. From there, I walked through a cavernous glass building to the "AirTrain," a shuttle that circles the airport. The airport is divided into 3 terminals, each extremely far from each other. 1.5 hours, 1 subway and 2 trains later, I got to the airport.

Ipod ear plugs suck
I sat next to a real douche. He had his music up so loud the stewardess asked him to turn it down. He reacted like a douche then adjusted the volume slightly. Then I asked him to turn it down. He didn't like that at all and was, again, a douche. I wanted to call for the stewardess and make a scene, but I wasn't drunk. So I focused on my newspaper and my $5 box of airline junk food.

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Friday July 4, 2008: No computer-weekend!

A little time
I have a smidge of time before I trek out to Newark Airport for my noon-thirty flight to Chicago, so I thought I'd write... from my new apartment! Woo! Yes, I am here, moved, and ready. The neighborhood is so SPANISH! Everyone is Spanish. EVERYone. Except me and my roommate. I did see two white people in the grocery store. TWO.

The Move
I am a nomad. I travel very lightly. So, when I move, it doesn't involve renting trucks and packing boxes. Anymore. However, last night's was pretty hard. I packed up my stuff (from Target and the stuff I brought with me to NYC on the plane from Orlando) into 4 carry-able objects:

-a box fan in a box with a tape handle
-a Target bag stuffed with three pillows
-a wheeled piece of luggage
-a Publix fabric grocery bag

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Thursday July 3, 2008

Bike
It's happening. I am really moving to Brooklyn. I don't like change. It scares me. But here I go. I have two loads to move. Load number 1, my bik, got moved this afternoon. It takes exactly one hour to travel via subway from my (soon to be former) apartment near the 105 and Bway stop of the 1 train to my (soon to be current) apartment in Brooklyn. Sucked, but very few people were on trains so the bike was not an issue.

Looking at my new room after leaning my bike against one of the four walls, i thought "This is my new home." No more sleeping on my friend Ed's couch. No more 1 train to midtown. I'm on my own, in Brooklyn. It was both a nice feeling and a scary one. I don't like change.

Spanish Target
When i got back to the (soon to be former) apartment after the 1-hour subway ride, I met up with Ed and we rode from 105 to 225 in The Bronx (!!!) which only took about 20 minutes, to a Target. Heaven! The prices were Orlando priced. I wish I could have stocked up, but I only bought what I could carry myself to the apartment. A pillow, box fan, travel-size toiletries for my Chicago trip this weekend, a new $5 alarm clock and some other boring stuff.

Target was actually heaven and a little hell. It was packed and no carts could be found. I carried this box fan around in my spindley arms until I could bare it no more, returned to the front of the store and waited until a cart became available. Children were everywhere. The entire store was Spanish. Ed and I were THE only white people there. And they ALL were speaking in Spanish. Culture shock.

Travel with stuff
My hope was that I could carry everything home without drama, ie: without me paining myself and almost crying due to the weight, lack of bags or whatever. It came to be. The box fan got slapped with one of those tape handles, and everything else fit into two regular target bags.

Either, Or
I've been in my (soon to be former) apartment for about an hour, resting, with air conditioning. I'm either going to move the rest of my stuff (the stuff I bought at Target and one suitcase) to my new apartment tonight, or go with Ed to "The New Museum." It's free tonight, from 7pm to 10pm.

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Starbucks ramblings

600
Starbucks is closing 600 stores. Wow. These closings SUCK for the employees, but re awesome for the company. I personally feel like they built too many. They're like gas stations now. They are also getting rid of the music products and breakfast sammiches. They've been saying that about the sammiches for months now, but they're still there. The music and movies never made sense to me. Seemed so unrelated to a coffeehouse chain.

recommended reading
The Portfolio magazine article mentioned this blog, Starbucks Secrets. I took a look and it's interesting. Employees and non leave comments.

Starbucks blows
I read the article in Portfolio magazine tonight about the Chairman of Starbucks, Howard Schultz, and just have to say... I don't think he's connected to reality. There's a difference between "Yes I love my company but we've got a lot fo work to do" and "My God my cmpany is awesome and we will never fail ever in a billion years!" HE really comes off as someone who has not been inside a Starbucks in years.

In Orlando, the ONE I went to had a drive thru. The drive-thru KILLS the experience. They have to get rid of those. Yes, Orlando is a car city. But the brand is the interior space. Without that interior, your purchase is not special.

In NYC, my God. MY GOD! It's HELL! You better know your order, bitch. And in some locations, there's no seating, lines are 15 people long, homeless men are standing in the middle of the room stinking to high hell, and you just want to scream. I speak specifically of the one near Bryant Park. DISgusting.

One thing they do here that they don't do in Orlando is list the calorie count of the baked goods. NOTHING is under 300 calories. Every place that sells food in the world should do this. It's upsetting and eye opening.

Fix
I asked my friend Ed how he thought they could "make a comeback." He said they couldn't. I prodded further saying that every time you go into a Starbucks here in NYC, it's PACKED. People still love this shit. So he said they should take the company back to being privately owned (it's a public company traded on the stock exchange), get rid of half the stores and focus on making quality product. I was not expecting that answer. I like it.

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Wednesday July 2, 2008

Big news (for me)
I canceled all my domains tonight. The sites are there, but you have to do the following:
-For orlandoartsblog.com, you have to now type in orlandoartsblog.blogspot.com
-For creativitity.com, you have to now type in creativitity.blogspot.com
-textingwhiledriving.net, you have to now type in textingwhiledriving.blospot.com

I've been with Yahoo for like 5 years. They raised their annual domain cost from $9.95 to $11.95 and now $34.95. That is retarded. And since (a) none of these sites bring in any revenue justifying the $34.95 annual fee, and (b) this is $34.95 times eight (I had other domains purchased for other ideas I'd had) I decided to let them all go.


Ok, now on to the day...

First stop: sign up
I got a very late start today, which ended up not mattering in the slightest. I felt uneasy about the two calls I had today: an Equity my Fair Lady (but the call was for non-equity today) and an off-bway rock show called "Rock of Ages." One needs a classical voice and the other, a rock voice. Me? I'm whatever. And whaever that is, it's not classical or rock. But then again, you never know what OTHER people perceive you as. I have been proven wrong in the past.

In any case, I left the house at 9am for a 9am audition. This is insane if you're going to a non-equity call in NYC. The line will already be 400 people long and the holding room will be full of chatty girls and gaaaaay boys, all talking at full volume.

I even had the NERVE to stop by the "Rock of Ages" audition before the My Fair Lady one, to see if there was a sign-up sheet for non-equity. There was and I was number 10. Yay! But they said to come back at 2pm (the audition was at 2:30pm) to see if they were gonna see non-equity or not. Boo!

First call: My Fair Lady
I'm expecting the 400 people, the talking, the HELL... Ten people are there at 10am. I wait ten minutes and am seen! Yes! I chose "Oh what a Beautiful Mornin" to sing. It's so boring but sometimes is pretty. So I sang it and then began the odyssey. The man behind the table began asking me about the roles under the "Improv" section of my resume.

He asked about "Krooze Komics" (a program I did for Royal Caribbean), "Foolish Hearts" (the improvised soap opera SAK did a long time ago that was awesome), "Improv Cabaret" and "Lady Raptastic."

I'm here to sing for THE most traditional, unfunny musical in the history of musicals, and this guy is asking me about all this improv stuff?

It turns out his theatre has a space on the second floor that he wants to program with comedy shows.

!!!

The Liar Show
I left the call around 11am and headed to Bryant Park to see Eve Lederman do a reading. I interviewed her last year for the Orlando Arts Podcast after I saw her perform at "The Moth." (Google it, it's cool!) I contacted her when I moved to NYC and needed in-NYC references for these two interviews I had with creative placement agencies. She agreed to be a reference and invited me a week ago to this reading today at 12:30pm at Bryant Park.

The park is large. It's got this gigantic green space (I'd call "The Green" if it were me. haha) surrounded on all four sides by tree-covered seating. LOTS of seating. I walked the perimeter looking for some semblance of a reading. On the complete other side of the park, I found it.

It turned out to be an event put on by the Bryant Park people. They have a whole calendar of events I never knew about. This one, "The Liar Show," (creative) had 5 writers tell a story for 10 minutes, and the audience vote at the end which one was lying.

Here's the thing. You know that stupid thing near Chicago where a group of UNPAID (mmhmm!) actors were forced to shut down their outdoor production of "Ragtime" because it uses the "n" word and the parks manager said it might offend passers-by who knew not the context in which the word was being used? (me talk pretty) Well um this "The Liars Show" had words and topics blaring out of loud speakers FAR more offensive than the "n" word (in context). It made me laugh thinking how in Bryant Park people could talk about cooking and eating placentas, female anatomy, cheating on your husband, pot, and your father's porn addiction, but in that city near Chicago, they can't perform "Ragtime."

Afterwards, I said hello to Eve.

Rock of Ages
I arrived at 2pm and the monitor said he didn't know if they were seeing non-equity or not today. So I waited for 2 hours. He took our non-equity headshots in to show the casting people after all the Equity men (only about 57) had been seen, and returned to say they wanted to see only one non-equity guy... and it was not me.

I did the change of shame in the bathroom (changing from audition outfit back into street clothes) and rode the subway to my (soon to be formal) home.

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