Let Me Tell You What’s Wrong With You.
Current mood: virginal
Category: News and Politics
My friends aren't stupid. But pretty much everyone else is. I've devoted time and energy to explaining why so many people do/believe/say/learn so many stupid things, but I will focus on something a bit more relevant to my life.
1) Too many people think Barack Obama is a Muslim. 13% of registered voters still believe he's a Muslim. That is UP from the recent Jeremiah Wright racist diatribe shitstorm even more people believe is important.
2) Two weeks ago Obama led Clinton by more than ten points in a Gallup poll. Since the Jeremiah Wright bullshit, he now trails Clinton. The Gallup poll cites the "Wright Scandal" as THE ONLY FACTOR in the shift. I'm sorry, were we voting for Farrakhan's Christian Doppleganger, or for Barack Obama? You sad, stupid fucking people.
3) This stuff really, really fucking pisses me off, and it's why I have no faith in nearly everyone, even people I know. In the United States only, seventeen percent (17%) of the population is atheist or agnostic. Here's an excerpt:
"The most recent study was conducted by the University of Minnesota, which found that atheists ranked lower than "Muslims, recent immigrants, gays and lesbians and other minority groups in 'sharing their vision of American society.' Atheists are also the minority group most Americans are least willing to allow their children to marry." The results from two of the most important questions were: This group does not at all agree with my vision of American society..."
Seriously? The funny part was the reasoning why they are so hated. Atheists are seen by those other dolts (and I will get some flak after you read this) as either immoral, low-income drug users, or materialist elitists. I kid you not.
So, what the rest of America is telling us is that we are very wealthy drug users who run corporate America, trade on Wall Street and manage hedge funds all from the comfort of our studio apartment in Cleveland while chompin' on that guv'ment cheez.
4) This is where I get to go the other way. Atheists make up 17% of the population of the United States of America. That's a pretty small number compared to other countries like, as one American Idol Contestant once put it, EUROPE. You know, places with higher per-capita income, socialized medicine, nearly invisible homeless rates, higher standards of living and longer life-expectancies. Here's the kicker: there are more atheists in America than there are Jews, Muslims, Hindus, Buddhists, Mormons, Lutherans, and Born-Again/Non-denominational Christians COMBINED!
Atheists are stupid because they don't even know the kind of political power they wield. They are stupid because they spend the majority of their days learning more about holy books than the religious do, only to be able to prove fallacy and contradiction and dishistorocity (it's my neologism, so piss off), only to not speak up for themselves and the other Atheists.
Worldwide, atheists (those who do not have a god-belief) account for 21% of the population. THAT MEANS THERE ARE MORE ATHEISTS THAN MUSLIMS OR JEWS IN THE WORLD. And put another way: there are more atheists in The United States than there are ethnic Jews is the entire world.
Yet we are vile, terrible people responsible for the moral decay of society as a byproduct of modernity and all-around awesomeness.
5) The idea that The U.S. is a x-tian nation is stupid, at its most complimentary. Our forefathers were hardly keen on allowing religion into government. It was a primary reason for revolting from England. The words "Under god" (sic) in the Pledge of Allegiance weren't added until 1954. True story. It was the height of McCarthyism and everyone was behaving like raving mad Bushies do today. The Pledge was written by Francis Bellamy in 1892 and was first published in a children's stories publication.
In fact, The Pledge of Allegiance has been declared unconstitutional in quite a few states, including my own: Nevada.
My point is this: too many of you are really stupid, even those of my own inclination.
In fact, unicorns are freakin’ AWESOME. And you know why? Because once you accept one into your life, they provide you with a lifetime membership into the Beer, Massage, Chocolate and Steak club. Have you not heard about the beer, massage and steak club? Well, let me tell you all about it - it doesn’t matter if you don’t like beer, or steak, or chocolate, or massages - whichever one you like, you get 24 hours a day for the rest of your life. And if you like all four or any combination of them, well... You’re in luck! Because That’s what the rest of your eternity will be - massages (happy ending or not, your choice), steak cooked just the way you want it, chocolate of any sort coated in any topping (or as a topping on anything you want), and any beer ever made or ever conceptualized, always on tap and never flat. And to get all of this, all you have to do is accept a unicorn into your life.
What? You don’t believe in unicorns? Well, I assure you that they are very real! And I know this because I’ve accepted a unicorn into my life, and I trust that it will one day gain me admittance into the BMCS Club. How could I have accepted it into my life? Well, I just believe in them. And I trust they exist, because there are texts available to me that discuss them, as well as people available to teach me all about them. I mean, after all, with such great eternal rewards, why wouldn’t you believe?
Okay, fine, don’t believe in them - you’re going to end up in the Pushups For Eternity club. That’s where you have to do knuckle pushups on mounds of broken glass with Rush Limbaugh sitting on your back for all eternity. All because you won’t accept a unicorn into your life.
Pretty silly, right? Well, my dear Christian friends, that’s exactly how you sound to an Atheist.
Now, I know that the message of Christ’s death and resurrection sin so that humans can spend eternity in Heaven isn’t being sold by (most) Christians as steak and chocolate and unicorns. That’s not my point. I do not want or intend to discuss the actual merits (or lack thereof) of the Christian faith. My point is simply that you’re asking a group of people to believe in something they do not believe exists, for a reward they cannot prove they’ll ever obtain.
And I’m sure that the first reaction that you, as a Christian, felt toward my example was distinctly negative. I’m sure your feelings ranged anywhere from marginal discomfort to outright repulsion; given the notion that your chosen religion - the belief system that you’ve based everything you know and do around - could be compared to unicorns, steak clubs and push-ups in hell, well... I think I’d be offended myself. But I assure you, it is not my intention to offend you. I have but one goal, and that is to illustrate a single fact:
What you’re currently doing - cold-call witnessing and talking to strangers at the mall about your faith and standing on street corners holding signs that read "REPENT"? Well...
It’s not working.
It’s at this point that you’re probably ready to just write me off as yet another heretic. And that’s your right, and I certainly can’t stop you. However, you need to understand that I didn’t intend to upset you. If I did, however, I will not apologize. Instead, I’d ask that you give me a chance to explain my case by pointing out that your reaction to my comparison actually proves my point:
Confronting a person by attempting to convince them that everything they believe and know is wrong and that you are right is quite possibly the worst way on Earth to persuade them.
But I’m getting a bit ahead of myself. Before I illustrate how your current arsenal of witnessing tactics are not only ineffective, but are actively harming your religion and its’ stance in an ever-growing public consisting of non-believers, I need to give you a bit of background information. And it’s very important that, no matter how much you THINK you know these points, you pay attention to what I’m about to say, because the rapid swelling of the ranks of the Neo-Atheist movement have proven that what you think you know about them is absolutely, unequivocally, 100% WRONG.
First (and most important):
Atheists do not believe there is a God.
Yep, I’m using the definition of Atheism as my first point. And I do this not because I think you don’t know what the word means, but because I’m fairly certain you’ve not yet realized the concept. When you witness to an Atheist, the person whom you are addressing does not believe there is a God - therefore, any information about God, Jesus, the holy trinity, the parting of oceans, great floods, and the creation of man falls on deaf ears.
To put this in more universal terms, you’re attempting to sell a concept for which there is no proof other than the beliefs of men who have spread the word before it.
Whether you like it or not; whether you accept it or not, the fact remains - you’re attempting to convince someone that something they cannot see, feel, hear, or otherwise partake of any empirical evidence of its existence, exists. Regardless of how much you believe in the story and how much it has affected your life and the lives of those around you, they do not.
This is important to understand. Until you do, you’re arguing with a stop sign.
Second, Atheists do not need to believe in a God.
We’ve established that you’re communicating with a person who does not believe what you are sharing with them exists. You’re asking them to buy on faith the fact that spending time in church, telling other people about this belief and living a life based on it may one day reward them. That’s difficult enough. When you add to this the fact that you are not only selling them something you can’t prove exists, but that they don’t even want, things turn from difficult to impossible.
Atheists assert that the foundation for their actions and deeds lie in proven methods related to science and the establishment of undeniable fact. In this, they believe that they have everything they need to live a healthy, rewarding life.
They’re not wrong - no more than you are in asserting that your faith in the tenets of Christianity are all you need to live your life. And that’s the point. It’s hard to convince a man with two working legs that he needs to buy a third, or worse, get rid of his and try the ones you have on. And when he looks for your version and cannot see, feel, touch or otherwise prove that they actually exist, he’s going to completely dismiss you. It’s not personal, it’s just how we work as people.
You’re no different. Think about the last time you heard about a confidence scheme on the news - twenty or thirty elderly couples were duped out of their life savings by a man promising investment returns or selling a product which did not exist. If you are honest with yourself, you’ll admit that your very first reaction - the one you had before you caught yourself and realized that these poor people are victims - was "Holy cow, why didn’t they research it before they invested?"
It’s crazy to buy something you can’t prove exists, isn’t it?
Witnessing is interruption marketing.
It’s unfortunate but true - just about every method of "witnessing" to non-believers equates to human spam. To start, I’ll list just a few of the methods we all know about:
Knocking on doors and talking to strangers about your new church / Christ / a church-related event designed to get new members
Cold-calling people from the phone book / phone lists to invite them to your church / discuss Christ and his teachings
Direct mail campaigns
Holding up signs on street corners
Walking up to strangers at Starbucks / the mall / anywhere besides your church
It’s really easy to point these out as interruption marketing because... Well, they are. Honestly, they’re low-hanging fruit. Easy targets, right? Probably unfair of me to just pick those and use them to illustrate the tactics all Christians use to witness. So let’s talk about some techniques you may have employed that, to you, probably didn’t come across as brazen as the above mentioned tactics:
Have you ever asked a co-worker to attend church with you?
Have you ever asked a stranger to attend church with you?
Have you ever asked either of the above about their faith in God or Jesus Christ?
Have you ever shifted a conversation that had nothing to do with church, Christ, or God into a conversation about any of the above?
When you did any of those things, did you notice an eye roll? Did the person groan? Did they shift in their seat and, at the very least, say they would go (or research what you just said, or give the matter some thought) and then never got back to you?
These techniques probably feel natural to you. They feel like you’re sharing the good news of your faith and the joy it brings to your life, and it probably feels great to share that joy with others.
There’s another organization / concept that those involved are equally as glad to share, because it’s changed their life and they can’t wait to spread that good news. This organization thrives on new members. Each individual collection of people works diligently to get more folks into the stable, because the larger they grow, the more they thrive and the farther they can spread the word of this great, life-changing group.
Surely, you know who I’m talking about. It’s called Amway.
Now, before you get up in arms, I did NOT just compare your belief in God and Jesus to selling cleaners and credit cards and pre-paid cellphones. But I did, however, compare your technique of spreading the word about your belief to the technique of spreading the word about Amway.
Again, try to put yourself outside of your own perspective and into the shoes of your intended audience. You’re interrupting their time and space to bring them a message you feel is important. And sure, you have the right to choose your faith and the right to free speech, but as GK Chesteron said, to have a right to do a thing is not at all the same as to be right in doing it. And ultimately, "You need to hear this because I need to say it" is the ultimate in self-serving causes... And if you’re serving yourself, you certainly aren’t serving God.
So. You’re dealing with an audience that doesn’t believe that what you want to share with them even exists. They don’t need it. They don’t want to hear about it. Your attempts to share it with them are seen largely as annoying or, at the very least, an interruption in their day. And the result of these tactics is a massive swelling of the ranks of the "New Atheist Movement" (Neo-Atheism) in America and abroad; a movement that has been covered in great detail and has caused great concern within all denominations of the Christian church.
What to do, what to do...
Well, considering the facts, you’ve really only got two choices. The first is to just keep doing what you’re doing. After all, it worked in the past. Your church regularly asks you to do it. It feels good to witness, and at the very end of the day, you can justify a few "lost sheep" if you gave it your best effort, right?
Well... If you’re fine with that - if screaming your message through a megaphone and praying (literally) that someone hears you - is okay with you, well... Look forward to staying as frustrated as you are now (if not moreso). Stay persistent, right?
Well, to quote Seth Godin, quite possibly the most brilliant modern marketing guru alive today:
Persistence isn’t using the same tactics over and over. That’s just annoying.
Persistence is having the same goal over and over.
And the goal is to get people to follow the teachings of Christ and live a Christ-like life, right? Well, telling them to do so over and over again in ways that disrespect their time and personal space is nothing more than simple badgering. It might FEEL like you’re doing the right thing, but as we all know, feeling like you’re doing work, and actually getting work done are two different things. But there’s something you can do that will bring you far closer to your goal than just talking and hoping:
Become the prototype.
Live the example, and let your actions spread the message. Get people to see the merit in the life you live and adopt your practices.
Let’s follow two scenarios - one for each path you can take.
Using the traditional, human-spam model of witnessing, you use interruption-marketing techniques to spread the word about your faith. Because you are Christian, and because you are employing techniques that are unwelcome and unwanted, you communicate the following through your actions:
Christians would rather be correct than listen to differing opinion.
Christians do not respect the personal space (mentally and physically) of non-believers.
Christians feel they are superior to non-believers because they have salvation.
Christians would rather rely on faith as evidence than rely on fact.
All of these are going to lose your audience. Period.
And as I said before, if you’re fine with that - if you’re okay with the notion that saying the words and annoying or inconveniencing people with your methods of spreading what is supposed to be a message of brotherhood, unity, respect and love... Well, let’s just say that you might need to evaluate the motives behind your actions, for they couldn’t possibly be borne of love, respect or brotherhood.
Did Jesus ever hand out a pamphlet about himself? Did he ever tap people on the shoulder and say "Hey, have you heard the good news about me?" No... Not according to any of the literature I’ve ever read... And I’ve read a lot of it.
No one pays attention to magazine ads and billboards. People use Tivo to skip commercials on television. There are any number of email spam filters available to prevent just that sort of communication from inflicting itself on you digitally. In every segment - including yours - interruption techniques fail.
Considering your audience’s opinion that you are infringing on their freedom to choose not to follow your faith, and their personal space with selling tales of what they consider to be mythical tales and arguments based on belief, you’ve lost before you’ve begun... And to go ahead with that program anyway implies a selfishness that only further harms your cause.
Its time for a new tack.
If I am the target for your message, I’m going to be far more receptive to one that incorporates respect for my time and my belief (or lack thereof). I will probably dismiss, as you do, the one which interrupts my routine and infringes on my time to tell me you’re right and that everything I have spent years figuring out and pondering and basing my life and views around is wrong.
The second scenario, using my proposed example of witnessing by example, you employ the exact methods that Christ himself used to bring people inline with a respect and love based lifestyle. Live the teachings of your faith and sway action by your deeds. It may not feel like it’s as effective as talking and handing out literature - but the rational being will concede that that stuff has already failed everywhere it’s being employed. And ultimately, living the example may not SEEM like it’s as much work as hitting the street to hold posters or cold-call people to invite them to your church... But it’s far less intrusive and far more effective in the long run.
Make no mistake - this is NOT giving up on saving souls or witnessing. Its a changing of tactics, one which requires diligence in action, commitment to the lifestyle, and confidence that those around you are taking notice.
Spreading the ’good news’ is fine... But its hardly news at this point, and there’s nothing good about not respecting my right to be who I am. And I can’t guarantee or even suggest you’ll convert everyone you meet with this new tact. But obviously, judging by the level of concern within all denominations of the rapidly spreading New Atheism, what you’re doing isn’t working the way you think it should. In fact, its doing more to push people toward the movement you’re fighting so hard against. That doesn’t seem like a good plan to me.
Eventually, living the example will entice someone who is paying attention to ask you your motives, or at the very least, inquire about the specific actions you’re undertaking (such as volunteering for community service, feeding the hungry at a shelter, working with Habitat for Humanity, etcetera). And when they do, you’ll have to engage them in conversation about your faith.
When you do, you should know that electing to enter into conversation with an Atheist equipped with your faith and scripture as tools is akin to electing to explore the ocean with a torch. The equipment you’ve chosen simply will not work in that environment. You can’t blame the environment - after all, it is what it is, and you chose to go there.
So, here’s a few pointers:
Don’t bring it up first.
If you do bring it up first, and the other person is disinterested or reacts negatively, just let it go.
If the conversation does continue, remember that respect is paramount. You’re not right, and I’m not wrong - you simply have faith in something I do not. That’s not a weakness on my part, even when you consider it a strength on your part.
The faith you have? It’s belief in the absence of proof or fact. That’s the definition of faith. So, don’t offer belief as evidence. You can, however, offer it as motive. "I believe in God" does not prove that God exists. "I volunteer at hunger shelters because I believe in God" does prove that you have a motive for your actions.
You will not sway an Atheist with promises of eternal reward or threat of eternal damnation. You can’t point to heaven or hell on a map, so there’s no evidence of their existence. Furthermore, bribery and intimidation are the tools of those who seek power, not those who seek redemption.
The Bible is not regarded as the word of God to an Atheist. It’s a book written by men. Using it as evidence or proof of anything more than your motives for doing what you do is going to be dismissed.
Even if the conversation never ensues, it’s a universal truth that action speaks louder than words. People DO take notice of those who act in accordance with a respect and love based lifestyle. They feel good when they see a person helping another person - and in fact, it makes them want to help out themselves. One need only look at the total figures of collected donations for the victims of Hurricane Katrina and the World Trade Center attacks to see this in action. Deed follows deed. Tell a person what to do, and you may get them to do it... Make them want to do it, and it’ll get done, no matter what.
Ultimately, salvation has very little to do with saying the words "I believe Jesus Christ is the son of God and died for my sins." There are many, many people - some of whom hold the highest offices in the American government - who say this, and then go on to live lives that, by any account, are not at all Christ-like. How many people in your church have spent a week engaging in debauchery and other ’sinful’ behaviors, only to appear in church on Sunday, ready to ask forgiveness for what they’ve done? And how many go right back out and do it again? How are these people better than those who live good lives and help their neighbor and further advance brotherhood and unity... But don’t believe in God?
Which of these two types of people would you rather point to and say, "I taught them that?"
If you’re more interested in lip service than in actually influencing people to live better lives, I’d say you need to revisit that book you proclaim to live by and, you know...
Having been out of a significant relationship for some time I am pleased to announce that the chances of my troubled DNA passing on into the tree of sweet, delicious life are getting smaller and smaller. Make no mistake: I'm not wanting to have a child, which would explain why Planned Parenthood now offers a drive through window and the only item on the menu is the Marth Groupd Package, but somehow someone with better genes should be allowed to take the surname of a better man.
I've decided that I want to take up a drug habit, but first need to find employment that a) pays enough to support said habit, and b) does not require me to do anything as I will be way too fucked up to be productive. Accepting suggestions now.
I haven't written a word in any of the books I had started a while back. Don't feel it, really. I've tossed out a few works that at one time I thought were promising, but hindsight being the great bald eagle of literary aspersion that it is, tells me that what was once important isn't so much anymore.
Ten things that were once important to me:
1)Politics 2) Music 3) Writing 4) Love / Women 5) Traveling 6) Exercise 7) Lucidity 8) Productivity 9) Independence 10) Culture
Ten things that are now important to me:
1) Finding rich parents
I'm greatly underwhelmed by the idea of having to talk on the phone. Many of you know this firsthand because I don't call you or pick up when you call me. It's a personal invasion. And the only kind of invasion I want right now is at the tip of a hypodermic needle just tittering with the anticipation of flooding my veins with what the Swedes call "Las Drugas."
This is not a cry for help. When I decide to kill myself I'll let you know and it sure as shit won't be in a "blog" on any website, no less MySpace.
My life can be summed up by my growing collection of scribbled-on napkins, none of which are legible.
I was thinking about a friend of mine tonight. More appropriately, she was a friend, but now is irrevocably dead. I don't usually care when people die, but this girl was one of the more loving people I knew. It's a shame they're not making any more of her. She was always a good reason for picking up the phone.
Breaking down a break down, or the British are very strange.
Current mood: betrayed
Category: Life
1/05/07
Overcast Vegas is my favorite. Something about the disappeared ceiling and feeling that the Pacific Ocean is hanging out just beyond Toyibe makes me feel like all could be nice. Not perfect, but nice. And it is. For me. But for someone else it couldn't have been. I pulled to a stoplight beside a young woman, brunette and fantastic eyelashes, who was on her phone. For some reason I stared at her. Something in her face warranted attention, and not in the lustful kind: the genuinely human kind. While I watched she broke down. The phone fell from her hand, her head fell against the steering wheel and she cupped her face with both hands. Her body looked as if it were throwing up every bit of rage, pity, and sadness it could purge through her eyes and gaping mouth. Drool fell from her lips and landed in her lap. She breathed like she had just lost a marathon. Her bottom lip rolled up and when she looked back to the road her face was mottled and streaked with cheap mascara. I've seen people break down. I've done it myself. This was so clinical and despite being less than ten feet away I never heard a word. I was just some dispassionate observer. While there was something terribly moving in the whole episode, I don't feel anything other than reckless pity for some unknown woman with cheap mascara. Maybe her mother died. Maybe her boyfriend impregnated her and has decided that the affections of someone else are desired. I don't care, really. The important thing is that she held up traffic. Bitch. She could have been polite and waited to pull over and have her little breakdown, but instead she does it in the middle of an intersection with the whole world behind her, waiting to get home and watch C-SPAN. (Personally, I don't like C-SPAN, but it's nice to know it's there.) And while we're on the subject, does anyone know why the British sound so ridiculous when they say "kabob"? That bothers me. Kabob this and kabob that! I'm putting kabob into the C-SPAN drawer.
But seriously. Women should make a decision: no mascara or good mascara. It's not fair that when women become upset, they always do and will, but much worse is that you have readily available signage to tell the whole world that someone (probably me) has done you wrong. Men don't carry that kind of ammo around with them, and if we did it's because we're already depressed by The Cure…or have just a touch of the gay. No matter. I don't believe in New Year's resolutions, but I believe in the magical healing power of death. When you're dead things are always the worst and the best they'll ever be. That sounds amazingly Buddhist to me. I'm off to burn a monk. TTFN.
Pictures Without Images
Current mood: nostalgic
Category: Life
The only good thing to come from the process of moving is the re-evaluation and rediscovery of all things you thought were thrown out, if only mentally.
Let me tell you about some of those things.
For years I have kept a forged steel case with an insignificant lock that could be picked or pried open with a whisper. Tonight, I whispered.
There were moments on the road, playing in Utah with the formerly glorious Ska band, The Tiltons. Of course, I don't smile in any of the pictures. After we played our final concert I drove directly home and to work the next morning. There were three other people in the car and I don't really remember who any of them were, which is disconcerting because I drove and the car was not my car. It was a dark blue Civic hatchback. The kind of car you get your third blowjob in, but not your fourth. I sped back to Las Vegas at over 100 miles per hour, singing along with Metallica and Michael Bolton while one of the girls kept a pillow over her ears and I think she cried when we crossed over the Nevada border. Michael Bolton, for good or bad reason, can do this to people. I remember dancing on stage that night. It may be the last time I actually danced and for good reason: in the picture I look like a frat kid butt-fucking an imaginary Wynona Ryder. (I was into her at this time).
There's another 3 x 5, black and white, taken from beside Santa Monica Pier. There's a woman, too distant to be recognized, picking shells from the sand. Her pants are rolled up just below her knees and she's holding her coat to her waist as she bends over. The picture seems remarkable because it's tendentiously artistic. Having been there I know it's a complete misrepresentation. The world, the horizon, everything seems dolorous and sedate. One gets the impression that this woman is the only woman who I considered alive at that very moment. I get that impression. Later on that evening, after being serenaded by piss-drunk Cantadors at that Mexican joint on the edge of our West, my shoes were stolen. I didn't care about the shoes; they were old and smelled of experience, but bad experience.
Once, on my way to San Francisco, I stopped off at Hearst State Beach for an hour. There's a small lagoon hidden from the roadway. It's an unbelievable miserable place for a few reasons. I find it dispirited because it was there that my reason for driving all the way to San Francisco sunk in: I was saying goodbye to my uncle forever. There are no easy ways out of life. There may be for the person dying, but for the most part the rest of us who live find the calamity quite discomfiting. The last thing he said to me was that he was proud of me. I have no idea what he was proud of.
There are hundreds upon hundreds of pictures, most from around the turn of the century. I have the same stolid face, never bothering to trade in for a new one. I have pictures from all over the country and because I usually travel alone I have very few of myself, even fewer of me appearing to be happy, which is a personal memorabilia faux pas. I was happy and sometimes I still am. Now that I'm leaving my job and starting over, despite not knowing what I'm going to do, I imagine that I certainly won't be as unhappy as I have been. I may even write again. I might take chances. I might finally finish something big. Pictures don't mean what they used to. There's something dangerously sentimental about film, about holding your moments in your fingers or knowing they're guarded by only a whisper in a metal lock box. I think that because we can so immediately manipulate our digital lives we don't value them like we do those carded impressions on celluloid. We know we can take a million pictures and if we don't like what that moment was we can fix it later. The living, breathing presence of the past is taken away and replaced with the callous and ever-malleable product of our imaginations. We don't keep the past like we used to, which invariably leads us to devalue our now or simply belittle it with complete apathy. If anything significant is to happen we first have to be prepared to acknowledge its possibility.
For nobody in particular....
Current mood: thirsty
We haven't been looked at in a long while. I miss that. That look and that feeling. It's been a long time. I forget what it feels like. What you feel like. And if you were to ask I would tell you that I have made mistakes. There are moments I wish your fingertips would grace my neck, or anything. Then there are the times I've had to turn and walk away. If I could, I'd rip out your fucking throat so you'd just shut the fuck up and then you'd be perfect.
What's valuable isn't valued, anymore. Through the course of a discussion and the completely capricious find of some of Ann Coulter's previous interviews and footage I was reminded, once again, that common sense and rationality are practically gone. It doesn't help that I just finished reading Sam Harris' The End of Faith, or that I've worked in nightclubs before to witness people sleep their way to promotion. This is not speculative; sometimes they fucked out in the open and one week later earned 20 grand more a year. But what really struck me was that in one of the clips Bill O'Reilly appeared to be the sane person! Bill O'Reilly! I'm usually a pretty angry guy, and for fairly obvious reasons: people think and believe some stupid shit, and it affects my life in some not insignificant ways. I'm not even talking about blue and red states: they both have their tremendous hypocrisies and mendacities, and other "ies" that seem like complicated words, but should be part of everyday talk. I'm usually a fan of the whole democracy thing, but at some point you have to wonder: who deserves freedom anymore? While The Constitution is extremely benevolent and optimistic in saying that all men are created equal, it's just not true. Extirpating the misogyny from that statement, we are left with the truism that all people are simply not equal. There are rocket scientists, philosophers, biochemists, writers, philosophers, and plenty of ontologically relevant experts in the world, and then there are the dumb and useless. Your profession doesn't make you dumb or useless, but it can be a general demarcation of those that can't see the bell curve's apogee from the valley and never will. Unlike some people, I am admittedly judgmental. Always. I don't care if you think it's right or wrong: we all do it, but few are honest or brave enough to confront those quiet opinions. When Ann Coulter tells people that they are not allowed to have a political viewpoint, or shouldn't be involved in politics (expressing their opinions via commercial, pamphlet or whatever communicative vehicle) because someone they loved was killed as a product or byproduct of terrorism from any side I have to balk. (And write long sentences!) I think it's noble and speaks laudatory volumes in defense of rational people everywhere that nobody has killed Ann Coulter…yet. I also think it's despicable she's given any sort of dais from which to spout malicious tripe and attempt to degrade each and every person with a head on their shoulders. People with any ideological hubris and/or a miasmic worldview don't deserve to take part in the rest of civilization's sexy dance party. Especially when they've been given every opportunity to think critically, reasonably, and fail righteously. They say things like "liberals are going to hell" and are perfectly content to send each and every person who disagrees with them to that imaginary wünderland. They even believe that if only Jesus Christ had touched these peoples' hearts they, too, would be able to condemn the rational with casuistry, disillusionment, and axiological sciolism. But trying to help or reason with these people is stupid, and every time anyone I know tries they walk away frustrated, more antipathetic, and sapped of some philanthropy. If we could afford to allow these dolts their pablum (dumb as ideas) the rational minority might be able to finally live with some semblance of the rights and dignity afforded, no required, by our constitution, ratified and defended with blood and hope for more than 200 years. But we just can't afford it any longer. We are embedded in a war that cannot ever be won without wiping out the entirety of Islam. The Armed Forces boast in their commercials that they were almost immediately in Sri Lanka and India after the tsunami, handing out supplies, building shelter for the abandoned, and delivering food to any and all. It would be nice if they could say the same for New Orleans. We spend tens of billions (and sometimes hundreds of billions) of dollars every year fighting a war on drugs that cannot be won or even dammed up for a minute. And yet nobody can afford to get medical attention in this country. The richest country in the world will not take care of its citizens! How utterly fucking Christian, which is the problem, obviously. While Christians adore themselves and believe that they care about all of God's children they condemn the facts of evolution, the universe, and simple ideas even the Greeks, 400 years before Christ, believed. (Pythagoras had proven that the Earth was round, and many believed that everything was made up of atoms. Madness!) I don't want people who believe the world is flat to have any authority or power. But they should have just enough power to lift my trashcans. I don't want people who applaud the Scopes Trial (and I'm sure they have no idea what that was about, anyway) placing a two-ton, ostentatious misrepresentation of the ten commandments (I will not capitalize the words, thankyaverymuch!) in front of a Supreme Courthouse. And there are those commandments that say you can't work on the Sabbath…or murder…or bear false witness…or covet your neighbor. The penalty is death, according to your derisory and contradictory tome. I don't want people that believe the Earth is only about 5,000 years old (and simultaneously think their bible simply forgot to mention those necessarily coeval gigantic, carnivorous reptiles called dinosaurs) doing anything more than draining septic tanks. Fuck it. They'll inherit the Earth someday anyway, right? I don't want people who believe their god loathes his own creation so much he would have us killed for missing one of five daily prayers telling others how they should or shouldn't live their life, or what is morally right and wrong. If you believe in something that is empirically impossible to prove you can just as easily disregard it for the same reason. Believing in something imaginary is not faith. It is childish. Besides, if any of the religious spent some time and read their coveted book(s) they would know, without question, that their omnipotent, omnipresent and omniscient Zeus (he's as plausible as any god, isn't he?) can't make up his mind and is out of touch with the real world. The real problem isn't that religion exists. Before we knew what we know about the world and the universe the idea of a creator almost made sense. Not much of it, but almost. The real problem is that the great majority of the world, and more abominably our country, is cognitively detained in the thirteenth century. Would you seek out an alchemist to perform neurosurgery? Do you really think some imaginary figurehead cares that the Red Sox won the World Series? These are the people that believe blastocysts are functioning human beings. These are the people that think a few different men, on a few different occasions, flew to heaven using a rock in Jerusalem as their launch pad. These are the people that are ordered to kill the rest of us because we choose to think just a bit more about just about everything. I'm not asking a whole lot. I'm just asking that we start valuing intelligence over insanity. And if you can't do that, well, I hope you get to your little paradise much sooner. Immediately would be preferable.
Currently
reading
:
Spring Snow
By
Yukio Mishima
Release date: 14 April, 1990
Your forecast is forged...
Current mood: blank
Category: Life
In some little corner of some little pace there's someone telling you to be careful what memories you make. They're powerful, powerful things and are never grateful that you made them into the phantoms you carry.
A couple of thoughts catch me off guard and I'm wondering when my guard went down. Fuck you, Guard.
Too many projects are going on all at once and nearly all of them carry confidentiality agreements, which is a good sign that nothing good will ever come from them and everyone will know about it soon enough. There's really nothing to talk about.
http://lasvegas.craigslist.org/rnr/445180215.html
There's a man running through the world that wants nothing more than for me to be gay, and a bottom. It's true. He told the Craigslist community this. Sad. Sad because he told Craigslist and probably cried about not being able to fuck my butthole. If he saw my butthole he wouldn't want to put his man scepter in my hairy carnal sheath. Besides, I'm saving my anus for someone really special: Jesus (or Muhammed). Either one could do it, either because they are supposedly omnipotent, or imaginary, or both. So, let it be known that my butthole is available to Jesus and that desert wacko Muhammed. Fuck me raw, boys.
If I were gay I would be a top. End of hypothesis.
Currently
reading
:
ORIGINS
By
Neil de Grasse Tyson
Release date: 1980
The only emoton you’re getting from me, you fuckers.
Current mood: uncomfortable
Category: Friends
I don't usually exert any sort of emotional thrust in these stupid "blog" thingamabobboers, but sleep deprivation and something annoyingly prescient has caused me to lose sleep four nights in a row and the sheer irrationality of my job sometimes drives me to throw chairs at people (sorry Guy, you know who you are) and demolish cinder blocks by throwing them from the windows of my bar. So, with all of this free time for insanity going on I worry about a few people.
I worry about the beautiful girl that disappeared in New York and ran to Italy. I have to drive by her house every other day and once I make that turn I am forced to think: I hope she's miserably fine. I hope life has finally tugged a few strands of her beautifully long hair and reminded her that floating on the grace older men's vanity will only get you so far. I hope she cries sometimes and I hope at other times she can't sleep and wants to desperately to laugh, but can't. But I hope. I worry about the beautiful girl with artistic inclinations. I wonder if she'll ever stick to one thing and make her dreams happen. She could if she wanted to. Maybe she doesn't want to badly enough. I hope she knows that no matter what I love who she is, as do so many others, but we're sick of seeing her not succeed the way she wants. I hope the beautiful girl with all of her altruistic pursuits can convince everyone else that it feels good and is our privilege to help others. And while she wants every day of her life, I hope she no longer has to. These are women I have loved with everything I have and women I never supported enough. These are women who in some way are like me, but braver, kinder, and better.
I hope my friends that are gone are always remembering that they have homes. I hope my friends that are here are always remembering that they can always do more. I hope, more than anything, that this means nothing.
I don't worry about me. I know I'll never accomplish much. I know I'll always try to, but never quite get there. I know there's a small single-prop, purple plane waiting to climb over the Atlantic Ocean with my name on it. I also know that there's not much left to care about anymore.
One night in New York City with one of my best friends, we stop into a speakeasy and I by chance sit next to the most beautiful women I've never fully seen. It was dark, foggy but not smoky, and drink paired perfectly with Stan Getz. She tilts her head to the ceiling, revealing her silken neck and dark brown hair beside deep, concerned eyes. "I think any place you go that has Stan Getz playing 'Soul Eyes' on the speakers must be the place you fall in love," she said to nobody in particular. But I heard her and it became the place I fell in love with a girl on her way to the airport, flying back to San Francisco. We drank a Dark and Stormy in as many ways and few minutes as you can. She wrote her name and number down, told me she lived below Coit Tower and could see the wharf from her bedroom. I've been in a place just like that before and from the rooftop below Coit Tower while the fog came in over the solarium I dreamed of an earthquake. It never came. She's somewhere now.
I never read her name, never thought about it because there didn't seem to be the time for it. She loved my authors and I her musicians. The weighted feeling of importance and longevity, of commitment and brevity, crushed me like a cancer and I fell weak. It poured Great Lakes on our heads as we walked back down Ludlow to our apartment, and as the rain soaked through my coat pockets it also drowned her memory from that blushing, bleeding blue cocktail napkin forever. She's now nothing more than a ruined slate, anonymously adored. THOSE are the moments that count most of the time. You can't buy these memories. You can only afford to hope you're lucky enough to have them.
Currently
reading
:
Too Far Afield
By
Gunter Grass
Release date: 05 October, 2001
my new name is GHOSTFINGER!!!!
Current mood: annoyed
First, thanks for all the calls and emails and text messages attempting to satisfy your credulus concern and/or morbid curiosity with regards to my pulverized finger.
But now it's just annoying. However much this may upset you, I'm going to live. And I never was that great at saxophone, but I'll still be able to play and write.
So here's yesterday's sterile, good, clean, no-protruding-bone picture:
My New Favorite Film and Dead Children. Seriously!
Current mood: ecstatic
Watch it, bitches!
You know what the best part is? I only have to learn how to transmogrify myself into a balloon and then I can go ahead and beat the shit out of all those whiny kids at the Starbucks in the outlet malls beyond Barstow.
I'm not kidding. I'll shank that fat woman and her fat kid if I ever see her again.
virginal
amorous
betrayed
nostalgic
thirsty
loved
blank
uncomfortable
annoyed
ecstatic