Does Yokosuka Saver Tiger revive, too?

Seemingly, Yokosuka Saver Tiger will also be revitalized following X Japan.

The next birthday of HIDE... On December 13 in Yokosuka...

Original member's Nick will perform this live by initiative, and REM and Michael will participate.

Rolly is nonparticipation. It is uncertain for other members.

The details will become clear in near future...

The opinion written here is my personal opinion.

When X Japan revived, I had been opposing.

But finally, I checked their revival by my own eyes, and accepted their reunion.

However, why does Yokosuka Saver Tiger have to revive?

I don't understand the purpose.

I'll ascertain how this affair progresses shortly.

However, I'm wishing I want it to stop using HIDE for money-making.

Ten years or more have already passed...

Hey, you…

If you wanna succeed to his thoughts, please let him sleep peacefully.

My wish is only it.

I'll write my complicated opinion again about this affair here.

*Masumi*

11:02 PM - 17 Comments - 18 Kudos - Add Comment

"I'm calling you, dear..." March 30. ~X JAPAN Reunion Concert~

March 30. ~Night of creation~ LIVE report

I report by my line of vision.

X JAPAN constructed the schedules for three days including this day, and held the "Revival Concerts."

Revival… These words still confuse my mind.

X JAPAN is a band that ended in 1997.

It was still positive dissolution to announce dissolution.

The members neatly became complete, and should have been able to start again at any time as long as their feelings were settled.

I also was expecting it…  Until May 2, 1998...

After HIDE died, X JAPAN became "the past band" in my mind.

Music and the images that they had left became symbols of my youth which passed away.

HIDE never comes back even if I scream many times and I want him from the bottom of my mind… Therefore, my mind was satisfied with it.

But, X JAPAN came back to TOKYO DOME again.

I feared the confirmation of the fact by my own eyes.

In me, HIDE is eternal existence... My mind to who even his death is not accepted still…

Four men who come back to TOKYO DOME by using words "Reunion" and "Revival" though there is no HIDE.

After the concert achievement had been declared of the autumn of last year, the inside of my head is continuing getting confused.

And, I went to TOKYO DOME to put a period to this endless confusion.

It was scary… It was really scary…

But, HIDE was on the stage on that day.

My eyes and my mind felt HIDE surely.

After he had gone up to the pearly gates, I didn’t miss my visit to his grave.

Although I have continued trying hard for accepting his death, all my efforts became futility.

He was not dead. Surely he was on the stage…surely…

I continued shedding tears in the midst of the concert.

I continued crying and calling his name...

I sang together with him... I was fascinated by his guitar...

Me who was able to love nobody from the bottom of my heart making a big hole in the heart for ten years…

But, I was reborn for his pulse was able to be felt again in TOKYO DOME with a lot of memories.

I was glad that I decided… I was glad that I was here showing courage.

I don’t repent of having felt the "Reunion Concert." And I wanna put many meanings and to appreciate YOSHIKI.

YOSHIKI carried out his own aesthetics on that day.

I wasn’t able to expect that "Art of Life" could be listened to again in TOKYO DOME.

I read this lyric repeatedly. But, I think that I felt the desire that he put in this tune for the first time on that day.

Because YOSHIKI is a man with exaggerated performance, I have tried to never be deceived by his performance. But I thought only this day may cheated by him.

The countless scars which remains in his mind…

Man who can understand them all doesn’t exist surely.

But I thought that I wanted to understand him for the first time.

With the work which he is continuing leaving at this world, I became feelings to understand him at last.

The feeling of inclining to him who has rebounded stubbornly although I’m continuing listening to his work for 20 year changed to the feeling of respect on that day.

X age when only TAIJI and HIDE were reflected in my eyes… Abhorrence to YOSHIKI after it becomes "X Japan".

Everything was concluded on this day…

The figure of YOSHIKI which is running joyfully won’t be different from before ten year at all… But I could be pleased together with him.

I thought that I wanted to add YOSHIKI to memories of my own youth from the bottom of my heart.

I wasn’t the fan of X JAPAN but the fan of HIDE and TAIJI. But I became the true X JAPAN’s fan from this reunion concert.

Perplexity… Prejudice… Abhorrence…

I want to throw away everything all, and to accept four men who existed in the presence on this day. And I want to accept the fact that HIDE without own figure existed on the stage.

"Art of Life" which I understood anew…

"I.V." which HIDE is not….

And… the aims of current YOSHIKI… "VUK".

Everything developed in my presence made me reborn on this day.

Cheers for me who was able to escape from the dark!

*Masumi*

12:28 PM - 24 Comments - 24 Kudos - Add Comment

Ten year has passed from that day...

X broke up and ten year has passed.

It's not necessary to talk about many now...

Although Yoshiki is in Japan now, he doesn't touch the topics about X at all. He told only the thing of the future works and the current work.

For me, history of X is beautifully and also sadly certain days.

And, the memories are all bygones.

X is a band that exists only in the past...
I'm strongly recognizing the feelings again.

As hide cannot revive, X doesn't revive, either.

They will keep living in beautiful past memories...

*Masumi*

10:29 AM - 21 Comments - 19 Kudos - Add Comment

The swan song

I have often been watching DVD of "On the Verge of Destruction" recently.

The last day of X for TAIJI… Historical LIVE that ROCK BAND held the concert for the first time in TOKYO DOME…

It wasn't told to fans though the secession of TAIJI had been decided before this LIVE. I was enjoying this LIVE from the bottom of my heart, without anticipation also doing such a thing...

I can feel various thoughts from the expression of TAIJI at this late date. What feelings did he face this day 15 years ago...?

It's not regretted by fans and he bid farewell to six years in X till then. All the songs that had been performed on this day would have been the last songs for him. But he left the stage with a smile....

It's a affair of "X revival" cooling-downed completely recently. Yoshiki seems sometimes to speak own feelings in the interview of the magazine and the coverage of media.

The reason why he tries to revive X seems to be "I wanna make X of my inside finished."...

X seems not to have ended in Yoshiki yet though it was a band from which X dissolved and ten years would pass soon.

He announced the ballade "THE LAST SONG" in front of fans at LAST LIVE in December, 1997.

"THE LAST SONG"… I believed that this song was "THE SWAN SONG" of X.

I thought that it was a song of finishing off that was necessary to conclude this monster band.

However, while he had announced this song, he wasn't making X finish in his own mind…

X age when individuality of five men knocked against each other...

This band renamed it to "X JAPAN" at the same time as TAIJI's seceding. And, it was also the moment that changed into "X JAPAN = YOSHIKI'S PROJECT".

TAIJI was an important member who had left a lot of great distinguished services in X age before renaming. However, when he was driven out in X, he didn't have "THE SWAN SONG".

The one that he did to X is neither only "Voiceless Screaming" nor "Desperate Angel". I'm impressed by the talent of the arrangement of TAIJI every time I listen to "Silent Jealousy".

"X revival" is planned with Yoshiki's effeminate feelings that he did brilliant LAST LIVE though TAIJI that did such great work received such lonely last stage...

I cannot consent at all for YOSHIKI that he is trying to do, aside "Problem that TOSHI has" and "Feelings to HIDE". X is not his toy...

If he wants to complete "WITHOUT YOU", it only has to do so.

However, it need not be released as X. YOSHIKI should just dedicate it to HIDE as his work.

X finished with "THE SWAN SONG" which named "THE LAST SONG." There is no future in this band.

It's only in the past when six men ran away while leaving memories of the gem in this band.

Don't confuse me any further...

*Masumi*

7:46 PM - 24 Comments - 12 Kudos - Add Comment

Thank you TAIJI!! Luv you, big bro!!

August 19 "D.T.R LIVE" At O-West in Shibuya

For me, it was LIVE of TAIJI after an interval of one year. He was living a long hospitalization life from the close of last year, and LIVE on this day was a day of his revival.

The hot beat which dashes invigoratingly from the beginning…

I was rolled in the whirlpool of the excitement at once, and was completely soaked in the world of TAIJI. Although he is thin a bit from LIVE of one year ago and it seemed to have grown old, he is continuing performing steadily from the beginning to the last...

D.T.R is an adult ROCK BAND for whom anything doesn't have showy performance. The height of a musical quality is the maximum charm of this band. I caught directly the passion of TAIJI bet on this band, and the tears welled up repeatedly.

The Drums of two bass and the great BASS-line…. The bottom of this band is really greatest-class!

I'm really glad that he is a legitimate seeker after truth who pursues BURNING ROCK forever.

Of course, the showy performance of X time was also very great. I had been knocked out to "Voiceless Screaming" to listen by an acoustic guitar while holding the cigarette in his mouth. But such production is unnecessary to the current TAIJI.

When MITSUO of Vocal introduced members, TAIJI walked in front of the stage joining his hands like a prayer and had come out. When a stage finished, TAIJI had shaken hands with the audience of the front row.

Although his expression didn't loosen from beginning to end, I saw his expression which suppressed feeling and I guessed immediately in what kind of feeling he got the day of this LIVE...

My heart filled with the desire to TAIJI...

Those who are called Rock Star are in the world a lot. In the stars which are twinkling in the night sky, all seem to be ROCK STAR.

The star of TAIJI is "Polaris". He is the polestar which continues twinkling forever at the same place for me...

God... Thank you for making this guy there be with a ROCK 'n' ROLLER! Thank you for making him stand on a stage again!

I'm thankful to all the people in the world now!

While LIVE finishes and I'm walking along in Shibuya danglingly, into my head, the same feeling always appears... After former X members' LIVE, I consider the always same thing... "if HIDE was still alive…?

...Foolish imagination without an answer… The regret of the break off life of HIDE, and the emotions of the praise to shining revival of TAIJI…

My mind is ruled by these two feelings now...

Although this was a bytalk, O-East of the opposite side seemed to be LIVE of "Moi dix Mois". ;)

Gothic Lolita who achieved the MANA-sama world mingled with D.T.R fans, and the way between O-West and O-East was able to see the very interesting spectacle! xD 

Wow! Wonderful Shibuya…LOL

And since photography of LIVE was forbidden, the pic of TAIJI of this day wasn't able to be put here... Damn it! Therefore, please endure it by my own pic of that day~!

Fuckin' O-West!!

*Masumi*

2:08 PM - 16 Comments - 15 Kudos - Add Comment

One trivial talk...

The surrounding of X is becoming quiet somehow these days. My mind has also settled down considerably.

I write only mere a few about my current trivial life today.

Well, I'm continuing tour energetically now. I'm staying in Kanazawa from the day before yesterday. Both "Pure Flamenco" and the "Jazz Flamenco" are programmed here.

This jazz flamenco is perfect! Two men's support dancers work well and never worried me to be done in great fear. Musicians are also awesome... All are well done as it did in the rehearsal. ;)

But, the reactionary is caused without fail, and the stage of pure flamenco is messy.

In Karuizawa before coming to Kanazawa, Jose of a cantaor has sung "The Ballad of Jayne" of L.A.Guns in the middle of GUAJIRA. Since it entered quite well, he got carried away and has sung "Tie your mother down" to the last of BULERIAS...*sigh* But he had said that this was not an "L.A.Guns version" but a "Queen version"...(Hey... Is this an important thing?...>.<)

Guitarist's Alejandro puts the riff of "Weekend" of X. Everyone drinks too much every night and all we goes mad...

..."Shelter me" of Cinderella had flowed repeatedly in my dream last night. It runs in my head now and doesn't disappear. But, why "Tom Keifer"???

I mentally and physically became tired.

But such a life will finish on the 8/18. And, 8/19 is LIVE of D.T.R! Wow, big bro~!! I'm enchanted by Taiji of the No.1 bassist of the world after an interval of one year!  After getting the ticket of D.T.R , my mind is pulled back 20 years or more ago! :))

After that…  I'm going to go on a diet a bit by "Billy's Boot Camp"...OMG...

*Masumi*

10:42 PM - 9 Comments - 10 Kudos - Add Comment

Kelly Johnson

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It is with extreme sadness that we announce that Kelly Johnson, original lead guitarist of Girlschool, passed away on Sunday 15th July after fighting a 6 year battle with cancer of the spine.

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Official MySpace Site of Girlschool announced officially.

Kelly Johnson was a big sis of the yearning for me. I listened to the all album of Girlschool by which she was on the register. When I was a junior high school student, I recalled having mimicked her hairstyle.

The one great guitarist who had colored my youth started on a journey to heaven again. I sincerely mourn over her death.

*Masumi*

7:08 AM - 5 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

I cannot breathe without you...

About four months passed after the matter of X the re-formation had been talked by a former member. A lot of controversies sprang repeat becoming quiet among X fans.

I always stayed on in the whirlpool, and I understood feelings with X fans each other and had done quarreled with many people. My mind gets tired out in such a situation and I'm losing words...

I'm continuing thinking that revival of X is an impossible thing. My feelings won't change in the future.

Revival of X is impossible. Because the member is insufficient.

Not only Japan but also many of X fans all over the world might hope for the revival.

Ten year has passed soon since X broke up... The people who became their fan after the dismissal increased in number now. It's very natural that such the fans hope to see their figure on a real stage.

If there are Yoshiki and Toshi, it will be X. Because, X was born by them... There are considerably a lot of people who think like that.

It's very unbelievable for me. How do people think about the existence of hide?  How do people think about the existence of hide? Was hide only one of the members who disappeared transiently in the band named X that had repeated a lot of member changes before it debuted? Even if he was not, was that monster band materialized? 

...I cannot understand. Why does X consist even if there is no hide with a sense of existence like that?  Are present X fans unquestioning in that?  Are fans especially in Japan reflected in their eyes only Yoshiki and Toshi...?

hide was disliked as it crying that X dissolved. And he hoped X formed again. But, was he imagining the stage in which he is not...? Was he imagining that other guitarists took up the right side of the stage in his substitute?

"He must be pleased with this the re-formation because hide hoped, too." ....

A lot of people say like that. As if he in the heaven said so.... It seems to burst my mind every time such writing is seen with MySpace and mixi. He didn't expect X which himself doesn't exist. He didn't expect himself even to die... But the flow of time will be very cruel and will make him "the past man" certainly. I wanted to change this cruel air.

I wanted to have been desperate and to stop this flow, and spoke to as many people as possible. But my voice is always scratched out... My voice reaches nobody's heart...

Please! Don't kill hide again!  If the stage of X where hide doesn't exist is achieved, he'll become a member who doesn't exist really!

Please end X on December 31, 1997, if you wanna leave hide in beautiful memory... Don't make actual X in which hide is not! Please!

...I kept shouting so.

Yoshiki said, "To put a period in X, I wanna form again". But, Toshi has emitted the words of the meaning of "I'm returning to major scene and I'm going to grip glory of before again." 

I very much have an antipathy about the trend and utterance of Toshi.

He has continued to always deny himself in X age in the concert of the healing music which started after seceded from X. And he induces many scandals, exposes mass communications every day, and continued damaging X fans' heart... He keeps saying, "The scandals are groundless!". But, some of the scandals go into litigation, and he is dragged out to court... There isn't only the trial at which a conclusion doesn't arrive but the case which his lost case is fixed. His problems behavior comes to be known to a lot of people, and his dirty image cannot be erased.... Among victims, there is also fans who loved the music of X purely....

I don't dare write here it that he joined the doubtful religious group that mind control was carried out to someone. It's assumed that all are the scandals which occurred by his intention.

He said, "I have the confidence which sings "Without You" which Yoshiki wrote for hide and makes it make a smashing success." If I extremely express it, he'll make X which hide doesn't exist and do the moneymaking by "Without You". The real intention of Toshi becomes clear day by day. And the tone of Yoshiki has fallen... About the utterance of Yoshiki and Toshi, I feel the difference of temperature between them.

Probably, in ten years after dispersing, the life of Yoshiki and Toshi was widely different too much. I guess that they are the person who are different to the extent that something cannot be doing together any longer.

Even if they can complete "Without You", they cannot perform remaking X again by any means. I felt it so.

Does Yoshiki desire to carry out such poor re-formation and to discourage true X fans? I wanna ask him. What is it that you aim truly...?

Hey you …

Before X broke up, I was one blind fan who is looking at only hide. But after X disappears, I catch a glimpse of your suffering from time to time. And I continued wishing that you graduate from X and begin to lead new life from the bottom of my heart.

When you made "Without You", I got to know that you having put the thought "hide... I live from now on even if without you...." But, if I don't feel hide, I cannot live... It's not possible even to breathe if without him...

...Being not able to graduate from X was I...

I was wishing that you left a nest from X and stack shining career again. But it meant that I myself was searching for the cause which begins to progress in front. I have noticed...

Therefore, I don't wanna see the appearance from which you appear on a stage again as "Yoshiki of X" by all means. My mind already tatters.

Please don't show me your effeminate appearance any further... Although I didn't wanna admit, you're also the light of my hope...

And you …

The day of the funeral of hide, I was chasing your appearance. And I cannot forget your indifferent expressionless face. But you splendidly sang "Forever Love" out in a loud voice.

All singers who experienced the large stage are "actors". I felt it so.

I cannot imagine what kind of "Without You" you sing for hide. Please ask your mind whether there is that qualification before singing this song. You should solve all the problems which are around you, if you wanna surely sing this song....

*Masumi*

2:18 AM - 13 Comments - 9 Kudos - Add Comment

A funeral song

Although it was somewhat old topic, a severe incident that a young, excellent policeman died on duty by the violent crime in Nagoya City in Japan happened.

He was still only 23-year-old young man, was shot by the gun and died. In Japan, it was very rare case, "Death with the gun".

And his wife and the new-born baby of him was left behind...

Japanese media were reported as a very sad incident about his death. The situation of his funeral was also broadcast by TV.

Seemingly he was X fan, and "Forever Love" of X Japan was flowing at his funeral.

I tried to imagine the situation of my funeral. With which music should I leave the earth...?

I also wanna leave by the music of X…

Then, which song is suitable to me?

...I wanna start on a journey to the heaven by ... "Tears".

*********************************************** 

Loneliness your silent whisper

Fills a river of tears through the night

Memory you never let me cry

And you, you never said good-bye

Sometimes our tears blinded the love

We lost our dreams along the way

But I never thought you'd trade your soul to the fates

Never thought you'd leave me alone

Time through the rain has set me free

Sands of time will keep your memory

Love everlasting fades away

Alive within your beatless heart

*********************************************** 

I met my daughter after a long time today. And, I asked her.

"What the song of X that suited me best do you think? "

She answered....  "Kurenai".

*********************************************** 

I could not look back, you'd gone away from me

I felt my heartaches, I was afraid of following you

When I was looking the shadows on the wall

I started running into the night to find the true in me

*********************************************** 

"Kurenai" …. It's not bad for me to leave with this song, either.

It's not rare case to write the testament and to do. But, it might be very interesting to produce an own funeral.

This earth is left after impressing my individuality to others....

I began to think that this is also important performance.

*Masumi*

1:41 AM - 11 Comments - 12 Kudos - Add Comment

Freedom from my misery

If I disappear...  Does my husband marry a new wife and does build a warm family again...?

If I disappear...  Does Shoh come to love another woman...?

If I disappear...  Do my children forget me...?

If I disappear...  Is a certain Rock Star pleased with banishment...?

I fear always losing others' love. But I wanna get over the current situation without others' love.

Can I change now by my own force without annoying someone? If it's impossible, I cannot but disappear from the front of person of all...

Everything doesn't go well... My wish advances toward the direction where all are bad...

I don't hope to live long... I cannot found the meaning of my own life...

Although I feel many people's love, I have given nobody love... I who wasn't loved by even my mother don't know how to love other person well...

My life isn't drawn as my wish, but advances toward the direction that I don't want...

If it tries to let my wish through, the surrounding people will certainly be hurt...

I don't have courage to do a serious decision either... Valuable time that flows vainly….

When I die, does hide meet me in the heaven...? Does he praise my life...? ...I always think about such a thing recently.

My life is sinful... The god might not put me in the heaven... Also this world or after dying, I might not have whereabouts either...

Keeping living is very tiring... If I can disappear as it is, I and my environment people might become happy.

These days, death has come to be felt familiar for me...

I'm not young any longer... I wanna find a good place for comfortableness early...

*Masumi*

10:27 AM - 9 Comments - 12 Kudos - Add Comment

Tanzanite

The stone meaning "the night of Tanzania".

A beautiful purple-blue color which projected the empty at the time of the twilight in Kilimanjaro is carried out as the name shows.

It was in the summer of 1967 that the stone was discovered. It's before half a year when I'm born...

The formal name is "Blue Zoisite."

Globally famous Tiffany's president named "Tanzanite".

Tanzanite becomes the beautiful ultramarine filled with the under of available light with the transparent feeling, and shines with noble purple under light of night.

Moreover, the certain polychrome also of having blue and purple simultaneously or also having purple and red is the feature.

I met with this stone at the age of 23.

Polychrome jewel to come and go between blue and purple….

This stone holds my heart and hasn't detached it for a long time.

At that time, I was an exclusive dancer of Tabrao in Shibuya. I got acquainted with one Kenyan international student there.

She was an attractive girl who studies business administration at the Aoyama-Gakuin university.

I learnt existence of a tanzanite through her.

And I got my first tanzanite at the age of 27.

Stone of tears type of deep transparent purple-blue color…  It was my engagement ring.

"I want you to become a shining woman who shoots the charm at the multiway with a consistent, strong will in you. And I want you to make me help it." …

He had said so and proposed to me...

The words were very heavy to me of at that time. But I wished sincerely I wanted to become such an attractive woman. The feeling doesn't still change...

My marriage life passed 12 years. But I try to divorce my husband now...

I don't have dissatisfaction in him and don't hate him. But I have to arrange my life...

My life is mine... But, it doesn't become according to my desire...

Where should I go from now on…

I always put in my mind the beautiful words which he presented to me, from now on, and I keep living.

And, I'll present my tanzanite ring to my daughter in the future... 

...On when she leaves from me and she starts her life....

*Masumi*

11:17 AM - 4 Comments - 8 Kudos - Add Comment

Pink Spider

Hey, hide...

Your music was a pillar of the mind to fight against my fate for me...