my public thanx on a few hard days.
Current mood: chipper
Category: Friends

As most of you already know, my amazing gurl got on her plane to Germany yesterday afternoon. Im gonna miss both Austin and Sherridan. they were pretty much amazing (and one more so than the other =P ). As a result, i have been pretty depressed for the last few days. come to think of it, i really only had about 3 short conversations yesterday and all of you who know me personally know that it is not like me to not talk. i had no idea that loosing her would b this difficult to cope with. today was different tho.
i fell asleep last night really early. i needed my rest. i also woke up kinda late this morning. in my rush to get to skool on time i hopped in and out of the shower, got dressed, gathered my skool things, and shoved my wallet, phone and zune into my pockets. after my mother dropped me off at skool, i put my headphones in my ears and pulled my zune out of my pocket. i pressed the button to turn it on and BAM. The !battery! sign lit up across the screen.
"Crap."
do u kno what this meant? it meant no music. it meant no playing the same song over and over. it meant that instead of being able to zone out and bask in my sorrow, i would have to face the world.
Angry, i shoved my zune back into my pocket. i did, however, keep the headphones in my ears so when ppl called my name to get my attention i could keep my head hung looking at the ground, pretend like i didnt hear them, and just keep walkin to wherever i was going. my negativity wouldnt last long tho.
i walked to algebra 2 (first period) alone and 10 mins early to escape the gathering crowed in the commons. i didnt say very much in math. if i would hav had music i wouldnt hav said anything at all, but despite my attempts at self seclusion, i couldnt help but notice the distress of the girl sitting next to me as she worked on her practice final. "i dont understand. im gonna fail." she kept mumbling under her breath unaware that i could hear her with my headphones in. i glanced quickly over at her paper. she was on 6. i knew how to do 6. and so i spoke for the first time today. i showed her how to do it. but thats all. thats all i said. then i put my noiseless headphones back into my ears and imagined the music.
i walked to 2nd period alone.
2nd period is english. we had a final. i didnt say a word.
3rd period was next. that was spanish. that used to be the only class i had with austin and her friends. my head sunk lower as i passed the place where austin and i and all her friends used to congregate during that passing period. i didnt sit in my usual spot. thats cause i used to sit next to austin and i couldnt stand sitting next to her empty seat. i moved into collin attwoods empty seat. yay. another final...
i started the final silently. all was going fine... until i reached 24.
the question read:
        Vamos _________ aeropuerto.
=[
the airport was the place austin had last sent me a text from. it made me so sad that i couldnt keep it to myself. i turned around while jefe wasnt looking and tried to tell Caitlynn (one of austin's best friend) in my own sad form of sign language to look at 24 cause it made me sad. she couldnt understand the signing. so i wrote a note. hold on....  let me find it.... i hav it here in my backpack sumwhere... here it is:

    24. Vamos _________aeropuerto.
                         =[
          reminds me of austin.

                                                                                      Sorry... sadness!
                                                             she wouldnt want you to be sad though.

         i cant help it. plus, she prolly
         wouldnt mind my sadness. shed prolly
         say sumthin like "cry more. youll pee less" =]

(thats the part where i actually smiled)
i handed the note back to caitlynn so she could reply and i watched her read it. she began to laugh... out loud... during the middle of the final. jefe gave her the krazyest look. i began to laugh a little. melinda, already finished with her final, looked at caitlynn confused. caitlynn passed her the note. melinda read it slowly and then began laughing to. i laughed more. by this time, not only was  jefe staring at us, but as was the whole class. it was pretty amazing. caitlynn passed the not back to me. she replyed:
                                                                              yeah. of course.
                                                                           she'd say that =]

i finished my final. i think i did pretty good.
next i went to lunch. in contrast to the time i had just had in spanish, i spent another day eating alone. in attempts to escape all the commotion in the commons again, i ate quickly and walked into the usually fairly empty band room.
"crap"
none other than dylan calhoun.
he had the sousaphones out (for those of you who dont kno, a sousaphone is like a big marching tuba) and he was playing one of them. strictly out of curiosity, i picked one up. i had never done so before. noticing my interest towards the instrument, dylan said "well? put it on!"
   "whos is it?"
   (crap. i said sumthing again)
  "jake carters. but hes not here and what he doesnt kno wont kill him"
and so, i put it on. and i attempted to play it. it was quite amusing to tell you the truth. there are sum pretty strange noises u can make with a sousaphone...
the lunch bell rang. time for 4th. chemistry.

i walked into chemistry alone. yesterday, in groups, we had begun designing our own experiment to find the amount of calcium chloride in brown vs. white eggshells. we had left the eggshells in 2 beakers full of hydrochloric acid and, despite our efforts yesterday, we noticed that we had skipped a few very important steps (this was prolly due to lack of communication. my lab partners were chris avilia and will baker and i hadnt talked at all the day before so you can imagine how much speaking went on that day). so, in order to get the experiment done on time, we decided to "speed up the process". we began doing chemistry "the yelm way."   we filtered out the hydrochloric acid with paper towels and transfered what was left of the shells from one paper towel to another over and over until they were dry. our meager efforts probably substantially effected our results but we wont kno until 2morro. it was very amusing to watch. i was touching acid with my fingers. smart idea right? we cleaned up just b4 the bell rang and off to 5th period i walked... alone.

history. substitute. final. i sat down at my desk and received my final. dustin was handed his right after me. as the sub went to sit down at her desk dustin wrote his name on the final and trotted behind her to her desk.
"what do u want?" she asked.
"im done," he replied.
she looked down at the paper he had just handed her with the essay instructions on it and his name in the top corner. she flipped it over in hopes to see writing on the back. there was none. she shrugged her shoulders and the entire class broke into laughter. dustin got a tan from the light which he was basking. i worked on my final diligently until the bell rang again.

Thank Jesus! 6th period! band! i walked to band quite speedy with a bit of pep in my step. as i walked through the band room door, pierson bombarded me with a single sheet of paper.
"Final!" he smirked.
"What?!"
"Yeah! go do it!"
i muttered to myself  "friggen a. we never do nethin in band."
i sat down and looked at the paper:
                                     Musician Self Assessment Exam
self assessment?!
yes!
i then spent about 10 mins writing about how amazing i am=]
soon after, i found a thing of sprinkles i had left in the band room from making ice cream in chemistry a number of days before. over half the sprinkles were still left.
this was the icing on the cake... or rather, the sprinkles.
i ate them.
i didnt care.
people talked to me.
"are u eating sprinkles?!?!"
"Yeah! u want sum?!?"
"no thanx."
go figure. sprinkles make me happy.
it wasnt the sprinkles alone tho. it was a combination of everything that had happened that day. thank jesus for class clowns.

i went krazy. i was my usual self times ten. i was jumpin from chair to chair. i was sneakin up behind ppl just to be kreepy. And i even got in the ceiling of the band room (see my photos for a pic of me in the ceiling. taken by melinda). my quiet day was ruined. i couldnt help it. i released everything i had been holding in for the last few days and it was fun. thank jesus for class clowns.

thats how my day went. i became happy, and with happiness, comes optimism. austin will be back soon =]  and until then, i will wait for her. i will wait forever if i have to.

and so, this is my thank you. to evr1 who cared. every1 who made an attempt to talk to me, and every1 who even indirecty made me laugh. u are all amazing. and id like to give a special thanx to cody dent. he knows why.

wow... this was origionally supposed to be a short bulletin but now that i c how much i have wrote i think i will blog it and send out a bulletin askin ppl to read it. thanx for takin the time to read about a portion of my life. thanx for bein amazing. stay foxy Chicago.

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