The thing is

maxthedork: Look, if you, I mean, it is like, so, if you take the, here's the thing, when you, I mean, so, sometimes people, sometime, you can, I mean, how is it that, just because you, for every, there is this thing, this thing is, sometimes, look, how is it that, but the, the thing is, just because, I mean, look, if you take, step back and look at, the whole, I mean, so, but the, sometimes, oh but, the whole, take the whole of, is this, the thing is,
jbg 9602: and who are you?
maxthedork: haha. http://www.myspace.com/maxthedork

2:51 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

I are drum

Jason Deadcat asked me to play drums for him and how could I refuse?  The opportunity to play with two former members of The Positives, also two former members of Amonia and Bleach (later Fuck Souls, whom I played drums fer back in the day).  In fact, Jason and I played in Fuck Souls together, him on bass and I on drums, and both quit the band on the same day!  How's that for coincidence?  Actually, not so much coincidence as just us both not wanting to be in the band anymore.  At the same time. 

AAAAnyway... So I went over for rehearsal last night.  It was awesome.  I love the new music, it's pogorific.  If you don't believe me check out the stuff on Jason's page.  He's 4 in our top 12 so just, you know, click that link and, go.  Listen.  To it.  And stuff.  My hands hurt, I have blisters.  Plus I spit on Jason's floor.  Long story kinda I had a blood blister on my right index finger and I couldn't bend it right so I bit it to open it up but I got blood and blister juice in my mouth and I spit it out on the floor.  And Jason goes, "Did... Did you just spit on my floor?"  And I went, "Um, yeah.  A little." 

So yeah I'm playing drums in a band again. 

7:55 AM - 1 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

NaNoWriMo Again

NaNoWriMo is National Novel Writing Month.  Basically you have 30 days to crank out 50,000 words which means you have to do about 1,667 a day, and which also means it's more like a novella at 110 pages but still.  This is my third year doing it.  My first year I got to 22,000 and petered out.  Last time was 2005 and I actually got to 50,000 words of an as of yet unfinished novel but since I got to 50,000 I "won."  I didn't participate last year but this year I'm back.  Track my progress at my profile page if you care to do so.

My profile on the NaNoWriMo site

Incidentally, I'm currently (as of thsi writing) at 7,145 words, which means I'm off my quota by about 100 words a day.  If I can crank out 2,200 words in a single day I'll be back on track.  The story, if anyone cares, is about a couple driving across the country who get stranded in northern Utah when their car breaks down.  They fall into a polygamist compound run by a madman who intends on destroying his flock with a nuclear bomb he built in the Tabernacle.  You have to read the rest to get the rest, I should make it available soon after November 30 if I get it done (-:

10:12 AM - 1 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

I’m like, famous and stuff

So this weekend was the big vgXpo (Video Game Expo) in Philadelphia.  Last year was the first year I went with my son Rob, and we saw all these awesome cosplayers, particularly a sweet Luigi and Peach from Super Mario Bros (Rob is a HUGE Mario fan).  So Rob says, "Next year, I'm dressing up as Mario."  I'm like, OK.  Then he says "And YOU can dress up as Wario!"

I'm like, sure, why not?  So this year we went as Mario and Wario (FIRE Mario, to be exact, otherwise Rob will shoot me in the face for being incorrect), and we had a blast.  We entered the Cosplay competition, neither of us won (I got scores of 6-8-6 and 6 from the four judges, Rob got 6-7-6 and 7 so basically we tied.  The winner got 11-10-11 and 10.  Not really 11 but that's what the judge said) but we had a great time.

Then today, I go to one of the websites that was prominent at the expo and I see THIS.  You will notice, there are SEVERAL instances of Wario in these pictures.  All of them are me.  I'm big like that.

And yeah, the guy in the blue (Lord Raptor from Darkstalkers) won Best In Show and it's no wonder.  His was hands-down the best costume. 

So yeah we had an awesome time.  Maybe next year you can go with us.  I'm thinking of going as Ben from Full Throttle and if you remember that game you know just how awesome that is.

12:35 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

All they had to do was win.

Up three games to one, it's looking like the Indians are letting this series get away from them. Crap.

Not that I'm an Indians fan but I'd rather they win than the goddamn
Sox.  I hate Curt Schilling.  I hate JD Drew. I hate Mandy Ramirez but I love her hair, she'd be so much prettier if she had some electrolysis done on her face.

8:17 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Christmas Wish List 2007

I know Christmas is like, two months away or something.  But every year the Christmas season starts earlier and earlier.  Last month (less than a week after Labor Day) I was lamenting the fact that I heard a commercial on the radio for a local jeweler, and the background music of said commercial was "We Wish You A Merry Christmas."  It was subtle, but it was there, that's the point.

But that's beside the point.  Many of you, whom I consider dear, dear friends (that covers about 99.999% of my Friends list and yes, you, the person reading this, can consider yourself part of my five-nines group!) are often this time of year wondering, Gosh, what can I get for Max?  He is, after all, the proverbial guy who has everything, the man with it all.  True as that may be, I do have a list of things I'd love to see under my tree this year.  To that end, I provide for your edification,

Max's Christmas Wish List 2007

Non-binding, of course.

1. The Young Ones complete season on DVD

2. The Wii golf club controller thingie (I already have Tiger Woods PGA Tour '08 so don't worry about getting me that!  Just the golf club thing)

3. A Nike Sasquatch Sumo driver - the square-headed one

4. A dozen (or the 15-pack as they usually come) Top-Flite XL Distance golf balls (for those of you with limited budgets but limitless love for yours truly)

5. Any of the following on DVD: SAW III, My Fair Lady, Alien, Blade Runner, Scarface, any or all of the Godfather trilogy (including Part 3 which I thoroughly enjoyed), The Devil's Rejects, Repo Man, SLC Punk (I have those last two on VHS but DVD would be KILLER), Sid and Nancy, El Topo (if you can find that one on DVD, you will be my BFF forever and forever), North By Northwest, and The Agency.  Also pretty much anything from the Wal-Mart $5 bin (again, for you budget-minded individuals).

6. A pound of whole-bean Jamaican Blue Mountain, Sumatran, Ethiopian, or Kenyan AA coffee

7. Gift certificates to The Sports Authority, Modells, Dick's Sporting Goods, or similar stores

Hopefully this list will put you at ease when shopping for me this coming Christmas season.  Just a reminder that I am straight-edge, and ALCOHOLIC GIFTS OF ANY KIND are really not a good idea and will end up being poured down my toilet.  Sorry. 

Merry Christmas! 

9:41 AM - 2 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

Despite the fact I’m not a college student...

I still eat Ramen damn near every day.  Why?  Because it's cheap.  And it tastes good.  And it's horribly bad for you.  Fuck the surgeon general.  I say, eat all the salt you can before you die.  It's what Ghandi would have wanted.

2:06 PM - 5 Comments - 6 Kudos - Add Comment

Things I learned from Dino Comics

- A hyphen makes it look like an icon or avatar is talking.

- Kind of like a word balloon?

- Yes, but not so much the balloon, but at least the string.

9:23 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Sorry, I’m not home right now

I'm walking in the spiderwebs so leave a message and I'll call you back.

Remember when No Doubt didn't suck? What ever happened to that?

Oh yeah.  It was Moby.

I'd like to hop in a time machine and ruin the first ever meeting between Gwen Stefani and Moby:

Moby: Hi, I'm Moby. What's your name?
Gwen: I'm Gwen Stefani.
Moby: Oh I know you, you're that chick from No Doubt! We should jam sometime...
*time machine materializes, Bret steps out*
Bret: Oh my god, look over there!
*Moby and Gwen turn around, Bret kills Moby and hides him behind the time machine*
Gwen: (turning around) Huh? Where'd Moby go?
Bret: Who? Oh, that bald midget? He said something about you being a bitch and walked away.
Gwen: That dick! I'll NEVER do techno!

And the world is saved.   You're welcome.

9:06 AM - 2 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment

Eagles Fight Song!

I just want to set the record straight, that's all.  Someone created a bogus site for the Eagles' Pep Band on Myspace.  Now, I'm a big fan of the EPB and everything they do.  They do an awesome version of the Eagles Fight Song.  However, the song that's on this particular fake Myspace?  It's Max the Dork's version!!! The dead giveaway is the lyric: "And punch 'em in the eye!"  I wish I could take credit for that line, but no.  That was all JellyBellyGirl.  But personally, I feel it captures the very essence of what it is to be an Eagles fan.  Yes, punch 'em in the eye, indeed. 

Anyway, not that I'm a glory seeker or anything but check it, on this particular fake Myspace, OUR version of the Eagles Fight Song has gotten over 50,000 plays.  FIFTY.  THOUSAND.  Seriously, dude, and yet we are the anonymous purveyors of the punk cover of this glorious tune. 

Now, I'm not saying, "Why can't we get the recognition we deserve?"  Because, well, yeah actually that's exactly what I'm saying.  And as much as I'd love to post a comment on their page setting the record straight, they haven't logged in in over a year, and they won't add us as a friend so we can comment on their page. 

So if you love the Birds, and if you love MtD, or even if you just love justice, tell everyone you know the truth. Because it deserves to be told.  Or just send people here, and our music will speak for itself.  And go Eagles.  PUNCH 'EM IN THE EYE!!!

9:17 PM - 2 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment