the party of the year is coming...
Current mood: excited

May 18, 2007. Underwear Bash at the Fairchild's. If you know where it is, you're invited. But there are rules to even enter the door.

1. You must arrive wearing only your underwear. Guys have the choice between boxers, briefs, thongs, and speedos. Gals have the choice of bras, panties, thongs, or any sexy revealing lingerie. Note, I am not saying which era.

2. If you come to my door wearing clothes, a coat or jacket, or pajamas, you will be stripped down to proper attire and handed a bag to place articles of clothing in.

3. Please do not come "commando". Do I really need to explain why?

4. Ok, screw it. Be comfortable and show up in your underwear, pajamas, or the ol' toga. Clothing will be optional!

Otherwise everyone please have a great time. There will be games for everyone to participate in. Cock Championships, wet t-shirt contests, and jell-o wrestling. Of course there will be some hard liquor and at least a keg of beer, but if you don't know if we will be able to supply your alcoholism, then bring your own, or bring some to help out others!

Invite a friend or two! The more the merrier. But do note, because we don't want the sausage to out number the tacos, invite all the women you want. Getting more men to join will not be a problem.

Music of the techno and goth/industrial type will be played by Gavin for the night. So do enjoy the sound of the night!

If getting to and/or from the party will be an issue, then please call and let us know. We do not want our friends to get DUI's and thrown in jail. There will be at least a couple designated drivers to help friends get back to their beds.

Have a great time, be as safe as you can, and make sure to take the night off of work so you can join. It is a Friday night. You have plenty of time to request it off. Jason will finally be off probation, so come celebrate!

We will see you then!

Flyers will be provided in the near future for a reminder.

10:28 AM - 1 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

to all my "friends"
Current mood: cynical

due to recent events id like to thank all the backstabbers and two faced pricks who like to be considered friends. you know who you are and you have no right to pretend to be my friend. i hope that you have a wonderful life with plenty of other friends like yourself so one day you can feel the same. remember one thing, you dont fuck with people that know how to fuck back. karma is a bitch.

and heres to all those people that have to pass a message through others because they cant face a person to tell them to their face. or they will talk about them to others and never fess up to their own words. you are the best!

this is why i keep very few friends in my life. you are all such assholes.

5:39 PM - 6 Comments - 8 Kudos - Add Comment

so i just had to put this as a blog just for memorys sake: i'm so goth, my dog barks "bauhaus"
Current mood: accomplished
Category: Blogging

What do you call a goth lying in the road?
A speed bump.

Two goths are walking down the road, one says "I just bought the new Love Like Blood CD."
The other says "Fuck me, a talking goth!"

How do you get a goth out of a tree?
Cut the rope!

Theres a goth walking down the road with a rat on his shoulder. An old lady walks past, stops, stares at the two and says "Yuck! What are you doing with that revolting creature?"
"Squeak squeak squeak!" says the rat.

What do you store your heavy velvet cape in for the summer?
Goth balls.

Why is it so hard for goths to get work?
Because all they can do is mope the floors and depress the buttons.

What did the vampire say when he looked in the mirror?
"So nice not to see you again"

Wayne Hussey dies and goes to heaven. At the pearly gates, he meets up with Gabriel who gives him the grand tour of heaven.
While toruing he sees many familiar faces including Jimi Hendrix, Ian Curtis, Mary Shelly, and of course Nick Fiend kinda shows up once in a while... And then he sees Andrew Eldritch Sitting on a HUUUGE throne.. Wayne Says to Gabriel "I didn't know Andrew was dead!" Gabriel replies, "Oh, that's God(tm) He only thinks he's Andrew"

What's another name for a gothgirl?
A Crow-ho.

What do goths buy at the liquor store when they don't have much cash?
Crow-Magnums.

"Waiter! Waiter! There's a dead squid in my soup!"
"It's not dead Sir, it's just dreaming."

What do you get when you cross Lee Iococca with a vampire?
AUTOEXEC.BAT

How many casuals does it take to make a hamburger?
Who cares, just think of all the fun we could have putting them through the mincer to find out!

How many "New Kids on the Block" does it take to paint a wall red?
Only one if you throw it hard enough.

How many fratboys does it take to wallpaper a room?
That depends on how thinly you slice them.

How many goths does it take to make cheesecake?
None, there are no goths in cheesecake.

Old goths don't die, they just need less makeup.

Two goths are having sex. (Strange, I know, but true.) Suddenly, the girl goth comes. "Darling, darling!" says the boy goth, "what's wrong?" "Nothing," says the girl goth, "nothing at all. Why?" "You moved."

Why did the goth cross the road?
It didn't, it was dead.

What's black and sits in the corner?
A dead baby goth.

What's black and knocks on the window?
A goth in a microwave.

"He's *such* a *goth* ..."
"How *much* of a goth *is* he?"
"... that when he hangs around the house ... he *hangs* around the house!"

"Say, who was that *goth* I saw you with last night?"
"*That* was no *goth*! I'm a *necrophiliac*!"

What happens if you don't pay the exorcist?
You get repossessed.

How does a perkygoth paint his ceiling black?
He dyes his hair and starts bouncing.

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And now, the seemingly unending list of lightbulb jokes:

How many goths does it take to change a lightbulb?
What's a lightbulb?

How many goths does it take to change a lightbulb?
Three, one to change it and two to talk about Lord Byron's Grand Tour and creative uses of laudinum in a metaphysical environment.

How many goths does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, but one has to light the candle.

How many goths does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, they'd rather sit in the dark and cry.

How many goths does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, they just embrace the darkness.

How many goths does it take to change a lightbulb?
Two, one to replace the UV tube, and one to put Floodland on.

How many goths does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, we have candles.

How many goths does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, the lights wouldn't be on anyway.

How many goths does it take to change a lightbulb?
Two. One to change it for a purple bulb and one to plug the smoke machine in.

How many goths does it take to change a lightbulb?
Six. One to change the bulb, five to scream "Turn that bloody light off!"

How many goths does it take to change a lightbulb?
Dunno, but I see them all practicing at Slimelight, while dancing to the Sisters. The raise their arms in a stretching way towards the ceiling, twisting their wrists and returning their arm to their mid-rift, while walking backwards and swaying in the murky darkness.

How many goths does it take to change a lightbulb?
Two, one to do it, the other to bitch about how Andrew Eldritch could have done it better.

How many goths does it take to change a lightbulb?
Two. One to change the bulb, and another to curse the first for putting a glare on the terminal screen while the second was reading alt.gothic.

How many goths does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two. (or more depending on your preference) I don't know how they fit in there, though!

How many necrophiliacs does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None, they prefer their bulbs dead.

What do you get if you cross a goth and a toilet?
The cisterns of mercy.

12:15 AM - 1 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment