Gender: Female
Status: In a Relationship
Age: 19
Sign: Gemini
City: Chicopee
State: Massachusetts
Country: US
Signup Date:
05/28/05
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Sunday, October 21, 2007
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A Letter to my Soul.
Current mood:  artistic
Category: Writing and Poetry
The Magician
I stepped inside before he summoned me
A light blinded my curious eyes
He sensed in me my misery
He roused in me a lovery
With his tricks in knives and cards
He tore my body apart with lies.
When the audienced shrieked
Nobody can make me scream but he
But he casted a spell with smoke
and his heart disappeared and froze.
Then he stood me before a mirror
Placed his hands over my face
Conjured an illusion in his rough touch
That reflected a woman bound in black lace.
Behind his heavy, royal curtain
My very being is enveloped in gold-
I am the rabbit that scratches and bites
I am the infinite of colors up his sleeves
I may be under a curse of endless passionate nights,
But it is the thrill of this morbid show that he craves.
Nigerian Nights (Out of My Reach)
I am tied up in a vein of thorns that runs through the dead forest.
I lay on the dry ground aware that a storm is coming.
Frigid rain will wash away my blood again
and again clouds will hide him from me tonight.
The thorns that pierce through my soft shell
are nothing compared to his absence.
He looked down upon me in the dark
and burned his eyes into mine
He pulled out of me the truths
He pulled out of me the lies.
Breathing a cool brush of wind over me
His body towering and magnificent-
Glistening and endlessly placid.
I never have and never will see that face,
for the rain will make the memories misty now.
And though I am bound to the ground
Far below from where he dwells,
I pray that he paints a portrait of us
with his stars, his scars from his battles with time,
wistful that he may see me again.
"You Made Me Forget" (A poem that I wrote to Jamil when we wrote poems back and forth to each other in school. He really did make me forget that it wouldn't be forever... Silly me...)
You made me forget what wasn't true
You made me forget the pain of missing you
Everything dissipates, flees into nothingness
You and I, in this void I long to be everlasting
Heated hands on my smooth back
Gentle arms rested on my slim hips,
Boiling passion radiating from our skin-
We dive into each others' hearts within.
The quickened beating creating a fantastic symphony
and crimson floods our innocent cheeks.
Our lips make it to their long-awaited meeting.
Breathe into me and give me life,
The perfect life with only you always-
The perfect lie as to the inevitable.
You made me forget that it won't be forever.
Consider the Suggestion <3 (A poem I wrote that means only to be cute in an adolescent, love-obsessed girl kind-of way. I like it.)
I have a question,
It is just a simple suggestion!
First I have other questions to ask
before the questionable suggestion can pass...
What do you want to do?
With your life, I mean... maybe a marriage?
A child or two?
What are you going to be?
In your future, I mean... maybe you'll be rich?
A career in psychology?
You must think that I am silly.
You don't have to answer...
Though it would be very nice.
Where do you want to live?
In another country...?
Maybe... With me?
Okay- I will ask the question,
that simple suggestion-
If you want to spend your life being happy,
could you spend the rest of your days...
With me?
"My King" (A poem referring to the cockiness of my past Love. It is unfinished because I thought it was coming along crappy.)
Strong, determined, clever thing.
He thinks he is the best-
He is my king.
The embodiment of hate,
My temple of love-
He is my sage.
Knee-deep in lies,
He is so very high above.
Do not hit me with words because I care
I appreciate that you are even there.
I beg you to love me like you do not
and you can hate me all you want.
"Lovers' Solitude" (An attempted sonnet written for my AP English class. The teacher said that the meter didn't matter. Anyhow, the 'place' is based on my favorite place on earth- which does exist. "Just beyond where the innocent dwell" is there because the place is through trees behind a school yard)
I would like to show you a place
A place far away from here.
Where the grass and trees dance with grace-
Where anxiety and theatrics disappear.
Just beyond where the innocent dwell,
Through the concealing brush I will lead.
It is a place where shy lovers tell
Of the darling hearts in theirs which they keep.
Lay with me on the shining emerald green-
Kisses as sweet as the summer sun
Because here we will never be heard or seen.
Please save me before reality comes.
Yes, Love, I wished thsi time with you was forever,
But this dream of a place will never exist- never.
"Because of You"
When I woke up
I stretched and yawned
and looked out at the dawn.
I wondered how this seemed so new
Tell me, dear, is it because of you?
I opened the door and stepped outside,
the trees beckoned me not to ever hide.
To feel the cool air surround me,
I smiled and thought modestly,
is it because of you?
Then I thought to myself,
Ive never been so happy to see the clear sky,
or to catch the gushes of wind as it blows by,
or to anticipate the sound of rainfall,
or to hear and listen to the birds' calls.
Is it because of you?
I started walking and all appalled and amazed me
I was floating with a newfound love,
A love the wise are forbidden to touch.
I've never pined for the name of a feeling before,
But then I find myself at your front door-
It's because of you.
"Bound" (The result of sexual frustration, folks! Yes, I am into a bit of this stuff. Don't hate.)
Moist, heavy breath falls onto her neck.
The merciless wolf has a craving
And he is in for an elaborate feast.
Willing, slightly reluctant and waiting
She is his hanging, blind prey,
Hushed for an agonizing duration.
His swift movements are at last heard,
His teeth are sharpened-
He is heading in for the kill...
It excites his need for flesh
When she lets go a loud, muffled shrill.
The rattle of the chains clanging
Is a sound she will never forget
Reminding that pain is so close to pleasure
Burning inside her as the violence begins.
A tickling, trickling down her navy-bruised legs
As he tore apart her teased, starved soul.
She is losing her voice, but he knows she begs-
She desperately begs for him to take her whole.
"The Doll" (The final cut)
I am here.
Gold and cerulean and apricot and lavender
were the colors that lit up your eyes
you wanted them all for yourself
Time quickly devoured the days that you chose me
It was a sublime ecstasy when I ruled your heart.
Through to the very end of the song....
Your hasty hault of this happiness...
Alone in the castle
On the soft wooden stool in the corner-
No elaborated, enhanced display of pastels,
Just that corner which I know so well.
It was the wintry air that seeped through those walls
the ice stuck and stiffened my skin
Warm rain picks me up and I sing for you...!
But my rosened blush has almost faded
and my eyes are no longer bright and full of speechless joy
and my brittle hair is falling out as the light makes its rounds.
I have climbed the mountain to call for you
and here your favorite dress was dirty and torn.
"I am here."
You are deaf for the safe bliss you have let my dust immerse me for.
"I am here."
My fleeting spring was never quite yours, you knew.
Instead you settled for her easy, betraying winter.
Washing over me-
the desire to be yours completely.
The idea of a warm love never existed...
An epiphany as a gray greeting is muttered to the dust.
The picture goes black and white
and I whisper farewell to your blinded soul.
I am to stay this way...!
"Death Was Thanked Greatly" (supposed to be comedic)
A widow in the dark
Mourning her lost life
Wiped away as chalk
Flew away as a kite
Dead eyes in the window
Peering at her in heavy spite
Outside he is an appologetic crow
Who cares not if he is wrong or right
Sickened with shock
She is ready to deny
A fading ache in her heart unlocked
A glimmer of joy in her eyes
It happened to be that her Lenor
Had made her life a magnificent bore
Dreamworld
There is a black building
In my dreams.
There is a sea bleeding
In my dreams.
It is so dark and unnaturally natural.
The rapture of warmth that embraces me,
It keeps me safe.
A dream in itself, I am left cold.
It is I who built the building,
It is I who bled the sea.
It is I who wanders in circles
Around the ebony stones.
I am waiting, unable to leave.
Come and save me, Warmth, set me free.
Are you able to keep me from these nights now?
Are you going to steal me from the storm which shelters me?
Bring me to light.
Though you're too good to be true,
I still believe in you.
Ordinary Helplessness
It is a lonely world.
I have the news on.
Will something happen?
Will it happen to me?
I'm burning. I'm fighting the fire.
I got caught with those drugs,
I was walking the street of desire.
She will cry for me then,
He will turn from me again.
It is a lonely world,
But I am not the news.
I am neither the trouble nor the success.
I am either the apathetic or the trying.
The brown and the boring.
I am the gun, I am the crying.
I offer the help with no reparation.
It is a lonely world,
But will it happen to me?
This is my only good sonnet. Inspired by reading Othello while Jamil was in the car. It had a lot of thought and work put into it. For example, most lines are eleven syllables to represent two people.
My Adoration of You
The innate acts of my heart are still constant,
With you the beats speed pace in thirty-sixes.
With your absence the heart yearns in dark lament,
Please unlock this heart with desire and kisses!
To you I have given half my soul and will
Rebel against my passions to give you whole.
Thinking of a white dress in ardor I yell-
But stop to bethink that my morrow has been told.
Perfection is too great to meet any eye!
However, vision aside, I am learning
Perfection is hearing your fulfilled sigh
Breathing in your scent at night or the morning.
With delight to the fates I do so proclaim
My devotion to you I shout without restrain.
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Currently
listening
:
Platinum & Gold Collection
By
The Verve Pipe
Release date: 09 March, 2004
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10:37 AM
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Thursday, September 13, 2007
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And now for something completely different...
Current mood:  giddy
Category: Writing and Poetry
And now for something completely different.
He had spotted her and she was unaware of it.
She was running, tripping over her dress, barely even holding herself up. Hearing the music playing from the String Quartet made her run faster. Her destination was the bluff not too far ahead. The music from the building behind her began to fade and now she could hear the sound of her death approaching her fast. The sound was the black ocean water crashing onto the rocks below the bluff; a decent fall, she thought. Her sobbing, she realized, was much louder as she heard it above the harsh noise of the ocean.
He had followed her quietly, wondering what could have put her in such a state.
She walked carefully towards the end of the bluff and, finally, she fell to the ground. Her hands grasped the dirt and her eyes were set on the body of water below. Her face was wet with her own tears, the strong winds tried to pry her deep brown hair from sticking to her cheeks. The makeup she wore was long washed away by now. She did not know how long she was running for, or how long her eyes lingered on the shadow below her. One single sentence repeated in her mind, and that is all she could comprehend for as long as she was running and as long as her eyes were lingering.
He began to approach the bluff, trying to stay as quiet as he could.
She brought her eyes up to look at the stars. There was so much darkness before her, it was a temptation. She closed her eyes and whispered what she wanted to be her last words, "Everything is a lie."
"N-no. What are you doing, Catherine?" He was in disbelief at her actions.
She whipped around, though his voice was barely heard over the noise, but even if she did not hear what he said, she could recognize his voice. Her hair stuck all over her face now, so much so that she was barely discernible. When she saw the shadow of his slender figure five feet away from her, she felt angry and ecstatic simultaneously. She looked down at her hands, not knowing how to respond.
He carefully started walking towards her.
Immediately she was shouting, raising her hand to him as to halt him, "No! Stop! Please, Takeo, I need to do this."
He raised his hands to his head, gripping his black hair until it hurt, a habit he had when under pressure. He was wanting to jump-start his ideas for solving his situation. Instead he found himself not able to comprehend the problem at hand. Then he let his hands fall to his sides, "I just don't understand. You are happy, right? I thought you were."
"You couldn't understand, Takeo. You could never understand. I built my life around a lie. My entire life is a lie, a waste of breathing." She shook her head, looking to the ground once again.
"Wha- what would ever make you think that??" Could he have pushed her over the edge so much to make her want to do this?
"I loved you, Takeo! Did you ever- ever- think of that?!" She was practically screaming now, waving her hands and pulling at her hair, all the while smiling at how oblivious he was to the feelings left hidden all her life. She felt like she was going crazy. She finally confessed. What was he going to say to her in attempt to stop her now?
He covered his face with his big hands for a long time. Pulling his hands down, he revealed his own tears.
"I love you, Catherine. Didn't you see? Ever since I first saw you, Catherine." He was smiling as he began to approach her again, "I am so sorry for pushing you away..."
"Ta-Takeo...? No... please. Don't come any closer, Takeo. Takeo!" She fought him away as he kneeled down towards her, but his arms and his determination were too strong for her to resist.
He held her close. He had held her before- when she was hurt or when she cried. This was different. He held her just as close as any of those times, but somehow it also seemed like they were gripping for life. She sobbed into his suit, gripping it and smelling his cologne, melting and growing tired. He stroked her hair until finally he whispered, "Let's get away from here."
Catherine looked up at him with a new glimmering hope that reflected his face in her blue eyes, "How? Where? What about the others?"
"Everything is going to work out. We will work it out together, but when we get out of this place." She nodded, remembering instantly all of her love for him, coming back to her full-force. He helped her stand off, for her state left her weak in the knees.
"Takeo." A man called his name from behind him. Takeo turned around and heard Catherine gasp and grasp his arms tighter. Then a quick, deafening noise rang through the sound of the ocean and the night. Takeo turned to Catherine to see a color of red glisten in the dim light as the liquid ran down her mouth. A gunshot had pierced through her chest and she was knocked back, to the edge of the cliff. Takeo raised his hand out to grab her and tried to make his legs to move faster towards her, but she had already quickly disappeared into a darkness below him.
Takeo's eyes widened and turned towards this man once again. He knew this man. This man was a thief.
"I had to. You must understand. She was- Takeo? What are you doing...?" The man watched Takeo turn away from the man slowly and dive into the abyss below. He did not understand. Takeo could no longer live without her close to him. All he could see when he closed his eyes were her eyes looking at him in terror as she fell backwards moments before he himself dove after her.
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Currently
listening
:
Songs in A Minor
By
Alicia Keys
Release date: 26 June, 2001
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1:12 PM
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Monday, August 21, 2006
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~She~ (What happens when you get bored)
Current mood:  bouncy
How vain is this?! I took pictures of myself (mainly eyes) and made something out of them........
This is what happens when you get bored, folks.
The song is "She" by Elvis Costello- It's a really pretty song.
7:26 AM
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