Cincinnati

It's been official for a while now but I haven't told everyone yet... I'm moving home to Cincinnati in three weeks.  And, yes, I'm staying for a while.  Eventually I'll do what everyone does and move out to LA or NY but that'll happen when it needs to and not sooner.

My new apartment is really old and weird and awesome.  After spending close to a year and-a-half in a room the size of a closet with the El Train rolling by all night and most of the last year splitting one bedroom apartments with multiple people, you have no idea how lucky I feel to have a cheap apartment with a gigantic bedroom that's all mine.

Thanks to everyone I've met in Minneapolis for being so cool and accepting.  I hope we run into each other again soon.  If anyone who hasn't been here before is thinking of visiting the city, DO IT.  If Minneapolis weren't a 13 hour drive (or a very expensive flight) away from my family/friends in PA, I'd have a hard time not making this my home base.

For anyone who DOES visit here, please check out...

My new favorite movie theater:  www.riverviewtheater.com
My new favorite breakfast:  www.hellskitcheninc.com

Thanks also to Ken and Becky at the Joke Joint for giving me so much stage time, even if it was accompanied by the dreaded words, "As long as you're here, do you feel like hosting?"

Anyway... I want to start booking a showcase room in Cincy but I don't know where the cool kids are going these days.  Can anyone from Cincy help me think of a bar/restaurant that would be a good balance between hip and mainstream?

See you soon,
Mike

5:39 AM - 6 Comments - 6 Kudos - Add Comment

Excited

Okay, let's try this again…  I wrote a really long blog entry last weekend but when I hit the "post" button, MySpace gave me an error message and when I backed up a page, all my text was missing.  I got so angry that I didn't bother trying to retype it.  From now on I'm typing all my blog entries in Word beforehand.

Fortunately, that's the only thing in my life that I have to bitch about.  (Well… The new "Indiana Jones" was a sloppy mess but we'll let that slide for now.)  Minneapolis has been great thus far.  It's a little rough being so far away from people who are important to me but, hey, that's life.  Everyone I've met so far has been very friendly and cool.  Also, I've gotten lots of stage time at local rooms and clubs, which has really lit a fire under my ass. 

My professional goal is to develop at least 30 new minutes of excellent material by the end of September.  For a long time, my writing method was to try something one time and if it didn't work, chuck it.  Now I'm working harder and smarter, which means I'm revising and restructuring more than I ever have before.  For the first time ever, I'm also writing longer bits.  I just completed a story that's about 3 ½ minutes long, which is the longest continuous piece I've ever written.  My old bits were usually somewhere in the neighborhood of 1 to 2 minutes, tops.

I know most people who aren't comedians (and many who are) probably won't give a shit about any of this, but right now this might be the most excited I've ever been about comedy.  Working day in and day out on these bits, watching them slowly take shape, punching up weak spots and trimming out unnecessary words, has been so much fun that I can't even begin to describe it.  Every day I wake up thinking about new solutions for the problems on my pages.  And the solutions always come, sooner or later, usually when I'm thinking about something completely different.

I love doing comedy because it's the only job I've ever had that challenges me daily to find creative solutions for problems.  Maybe something shitty will happen next week and I'll suddenly hate it but right now I'm feeling more confident and able than I've ever felt before.  Let's keep this going for a while.

-Mike

3:24 PM - 5 Comments - 8 Kudos - Add Comment

Worst theme park ride ever?

Hard Rock Cafe has their own amusement park.

Sit back for a minute and allow the glorious stupidity of that idea to sink in.

***

Hey!  Glad to have you back!

I'm something of an amusement park junkie.  Until this afternoon, the number one park I'd been wanting to visit was Universal Studio's Islands of Adventure, which I'm told will be opening a Harry Potter section some time in 2009.  But after learning of the existence of Hard Rock Park, let's just say there's a new top dog on my list of preferred destinations (and not for the right reasons).

Hard Rock Park has a roller coaster based on Led Zeppelin's "Whole Lotta Love," an Eagles-themed ride called "Life in the Fast Lane" and their kids' area features "bucket-ride and a roller coaster in a wilderness campground setting" called "Slippery When Wet."  The employment section of their website advertises "Kickass Jobs."  Keeping with the Hard Rock Corporation's mission statement of "Love All, Serve All, Sell All Overpriced Merchandise," Hard Rock Park's website lists 10 merch stands and only 11 rides.

But there's more.  Much, much more.

Hard Rock Park also boasts quite possibly the biggest "WTF?" idea in theme park history. 

Ladies and gentlemen...

The Moody Blues' "Nights in White Satin: The Trip."

http://www.hardrockpark.com/_html/nightssatin.php

My favorite part of the video isn't the James Bond-esque woman made of color grooving to the beat, or the actual knight (who is presumably wearing white satin) swinging his sword at the camera.  It's the weird, robo-dildo thing that nearly scrapes the guy's face at the beginning and end of the video when they show people on the ride.

Want to see the ride?  No need to Google it, friends.  I've already done that.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_bg3R6Io9fM

Wow.

Wow.

Nothing makes me happier than a big budget train wreck!

A few weeks ago, my vacation goal for the summer was to make a pilgrimage to Branson, MO to see Yakov Smirnoff, the only stand-up comedian in America whose early show starts at 9:30 AM.  (Tickets can be purchased at 1-800-WHATACOUNTRY.  Or visit http://www.yakov.com/tvcommercials.html but be careful... The song is really catchy.)

Plans done changed.  Myrtle Beach or bust, kids!!!

6:18 PM - 7 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment

Sorry to say, but...

...I'm leaving Chicago.

A week or two ago, when I phoned my parents to tell them I was planning on moving out of the city, my mom said, "Well, honey, no one can say you didn't try."  I thought that was sort of an odd thing to say, since it suggested that my time out here was a bust, which it most definitely wasn't.  I've made a lot of great friends, learned a lot about life, and had plenty of unforgettable experiences.  Plus, I got to spend nearly two years in the only major city I've ever wanted to live in.  On just about every level, my Chicago experience was a success.

I think my mom (and a few other people) assumed that I was headed here to make my fame and fortune, that Chicago was going to be my final destination, and by leaving the city I'm somehow giving up on a dream.  Far from it.  Chicago was always meant to be a learning experience.

Early last year, my friend Cindy and I were having dinner at a place called Leona's.  She knew that I had been kicking around the idea of leaving town and asked me why exactly I wanted to leave.  It wasn't until she asked that question that I realized I didn't have a reason to leave.  Something was keeping me here.  There were still a few more things I had to do before moving on, I just didn't know what they were.  Without going into specifics, the extra year that I spent here had a profoundly positive impact on my life.  Staying was the right thing to do.

But when I returned home a few months ago after spending a weekend in Louisville (which is as cool and serene a city as you'll ever find), I realized that the hassles of living here were starting to outweigh the benefits.  For the first time, I wasn't happy when I saw the Chicago skyline.  I was annoyed, thinking about how even in the late hours, there was still too much traffic, too many people, too much of everything.  In other words, time to leave.

So in early June I'll be moving to Minneapolis to do some more learning and enjoy living in someplace that's a little less hectic.  I'm really going to miss everyone I've met here in Chicago...  For the last two years it's been a pleasure to get drunk with you and perform at awful, under-attended open mics, as well as the occasional showcase that made all the weirdness worthwhile.  Seeing awkward performers bloom into less-awkward performers who write well-crafted rape jokes is a joy that cannot be measured.  Thanks for all the laughs and good times, guys.

I'm going to throw in one last "Not that anyone asked" morsel of thought regarding the Chicago stand-up scene.  This isn't a criticism of the scene, just a comment on something that's always confused me.  More than likely, no one who makes a decision regarding this sort of stuff will read this blog, but there's always the chance that it could be forwarded to someone who does, so here goes...

When I left Cincy two years ago, a friend of mine said to me, "You're going to be in for a rude awakening... Most towns don't have a place like this."  By "this" he was referring to Go Bananas, our home club.  For over two years, we'd gathered at Bananas every weekend to hang out, watch excellent club comics, drink, talk about comedy, and bond.  Even though I knew my friend was going to be correct on some level, I was sort of shocked when I asked a few Chicago comedians what club all the comics hang out at and I was met with blank stares.  Comics simply didn't hang out at "clubs."  Independent rooms, yes, but not clubs. 

I've never totally gotten used to that, even after two years in town.  Honestly, I don't think this city knows what it's missing.

I truly think that Chicago needs a few comedy clubs to step up to the plate and promote open mics--not "showcase nights"--to promote more cohesiveness within the community.  (That's actually one of the reasons I'm moving to Minneapolis: If everything works out as I hope it will, I'll have the opportunity to test new material at open mics in front of club audiences twice a week.)  Running open mics will hopefully give young comics some guidance from more seasoned professionals who might be able to help them see what they're doing right and wrong, as opposed to making the wrong decisions for a really long time on the bar open mic scene and then expecting them to hit a home run out of the park on a showcase night.  Plus, it would help the comedy club to feel more like a second home as opposed to an oppressive force, which is the way a lot of younger comics view them.

Also, I'm not trying to discount the efforts of DIY rooms, who offer lots of stage time for younger comics.  They try their best with limited resources and take a lot of creative risks that, frankly, big clubs can't always afford to take because they need to please housewives from Des Plaines, not just twenty-somethings from Wicker Park.  But when it comes to developing the next generation of comics, clubs with a budget need to step up to the plate.  Regular open mics for comics might--MIGHT--help to end some of the weird comedic segregation that exists in this city.  Instead of it being the "club community" and the "alternative (or whatever the hell you might call it) community," it will just be "the community."

What do you think?

-Mike

10:09 PM - 28 Comments - 33 Kudos - Add Comment

Happy Korean Birthday

Until half an hour ago, I never realized that the melody for the Korean version of the "Happy Birthday" song is exactly the same as the American version.  Then again, until half an hour ago, I also thought that Koreans were winged creatures whose horns were sold as black market aphrodesiacs.

I’m sitting at a coffeehouse in Korea Town, taking advantage of their free wi-fi and enjoying a truly mediocre cup of coffee.  My nose won’t stop running.  I haven’t shaved since yesterday morning.  Two girls just sat down at the tabe next to mine.  I glanced at them to see if they were cute.  Nope.  They whispered to each other, shot me a quick look, stood up and moved to a different table.  No problem, girls.  If you looked as grubby as I do right now, I would have gotten up, too.

Thirty minutes have passed since the nearby table of Korean teenagers seranaded one of their number with an off-key rendition of the "Happy Birthday" song.  The birthday girl pretended to be embarassed but she obviously loved the attention.  I enjoyed the singing, mostly because it drowned out the atrocious Korean pop music I’ve been suffering through for the last hour.

My birthday is next week.  Suddenly I feel very old.  It feels like only yesterday that I too was a giggling Korean teenager, soaring above the streets of Chicago, evading poachers.  Ah, false memories!

9:05 PM - 5 Comments - 8 Kudos - Add Comment

Comics who want to be MySpace friends

It's been a few days since the last time I've typed while pissy, so here goes...

I usually do the stuff I say I'm going to do, it just almost always takes me ten times as long as the average person to do it.  Adam Burke gave me a list of European comics to check out... Five months ago.  (BTW, great list, Adam.  Thanks!)  I finally got around to looking at them last week and found that one of his recommendations, Dylan Moran, was one of the leads in "Shaun of the Dead" and "Run, Fat Boy, Run."  I was a fan of his work but until then, I'd never known his name.  A Google search took me to his MySpace page.  I tried to add him and got a message saying that Dylan Moran doesn't accept friend requests from comedians.

I was mad.  Who the hell was this guy to tell me I couldn't be his friend, especially when I was a fan?

Then I paid attention to the fact that 80% of the friend requests I get on this site are from (drum roll please...) comedians whom I've never met!

My question is... "Why?"  If you don't know me or, at the very least, you don't know anything about my comedy, why in the hell would you want to be my friend? 

Networking?  Sorry, I'm not going to help someone I've never met before and you'd be foolish to help me, seeing as WE DON'T KNOW EACH OTHER. 

Do you want me to come to your show?  Sure, sounds good, I'll just pack up my Mazda and drive to... Oh, your next show is in the heart of Brooklyn?  Not a problem, I'll see if anybody else wants to tag along, too!

Are you adding me to pump up your friend's list because you think you're going to be the next Dane Cook?  If so, you're completely missing the point of the whole "MySpace marketing" thing.  The point is:  Market to people---real, honest-to-God human beings---who will want to find out more about you or at the very least come see your show, NOT OTHER COMEDIANS.  Why?  Because I'm too busy trying to scrounge up a few people to come to one of my shows to worry about seeing you perform at "Comedy Nut Punch Night" at Turdflingers in Baton Rouge.

So if you don't know me and/or you don't know my comedy and/or you don't live anywhere close to Chicago or wherever I'll be living six months from now, please save yourself the hassle and don't try to be my online snuggle buddy.  Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to create an alternate web site just so Dylan Moran will be MY online snuggle buddy.

4:00 PM - 7 Comments - 8 Kudos - Add Comment

T.P.F.

A few weeks ago while at Go Bananas, one of my jokes got clipped out of a set and posted on RooftopComedy.com, which, if you haven't been there yet, is a really good site.  Here's the link to my new clip in case you'd like to see it:

http://www.rooftopcomedy.com/watch/DoesJesusKnowAboutThis

Silly, yes, but it's a true story, which gives it the Mike Cody Okey-Dokey-Jokey Seal of Approval.

I hadn't really told anyone that the clip was available on the website, so I was surprised to check it out today and see that it had 413 views.  Pretty cool.  I was feeling high on life until I noticed that the most viewed clip from Go Bananas has over 32,000 views and is called "The Period Fart."

Young comedians, take note:  It's hard to compete with a bloody cooter-tooter!

There have been two terrible rhymes in this blog.  I apologize for neither.

Hold onto your tits, Louisville!  This Saturday I'm going to tie giggles around my fingers and grope the bejesus out of them!!!

9:39 PM - 3 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment

Psst...

Go to Wikipedia and type "Who's Your Caddy."  At the bottom of the page, click on the word "Whitey" and it takes you to a page for... "The Man."

10:46 PM - 1 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

2007

Anyone else really glad this year's over?  On one hand, 2007 was a great, important year and I've gained so much from the experiences I've had.  On the other hand, you couldn't pay me all the money in the world to relive all the weirdness that happened along the way.

Thanks to everyone who helped make this year special:  The Dominoes delivery driver in Tennessee who handed me a free pizza for no reason whatsoever when Singer and I were headed down to Florida; Singer for recommending "The Easy Way to Stop Smoking," which helped me give up cigarettes after 8 years of self-imposed misery; Greg and Tracie for being cool enough to let me crash at their place every time I came through town, as well as never letting me forget that I ate the last of Tracie's Boo Berry without buying her a new box;  Felicia for recommending "The Artist's Way," a fantastic artistic tool that helped me get in the habit of writing every day; my folks for being so very cool about everything; Mike for helping me see that everything would work out eventually; Matt for always listening to my rambling bullshit with more patience than I deserved; Jim and Junior for the X-Pac pic and good times watching wrassling; and all my friends who put up with the fact that I don't call/write/visit/answer my goddamn phone as often as I should, especially my Cincy friends, whom I can't wait to see in a few weeks.

Two quick notes:
1.)  With the exception of my two "home" clubs, in 2008 I won't be taking MC weeks anymore.  At one time, my friends used to call me The Human MC but, lately, hosting shows is making me regress as a performer, take fewer chances, etc.  No biggie.  It's all a part of the natural evolution of things.  Right now I'm working on some really funny stuff that I'm going to make the core of an ambitious little project that I want to get rolling by April.
2.)  Oh, and speaking of ambitious little projects...  Coming soon...
www.myspace.com/askdustyrhodes

Happy New Year!
-Mike

8:20 PM - 5 Comments - 3 Kudos - Add Comment

Follow-up on Levee

Looks like it's not happening.  Go see Todd anyway, he's one of the funniest mo-fo's out there.

10:21 AM - 2 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment