Sliptoflappy rappy and a carpal tunnel pudding flanker. Nabble and a stampy and a pigeon smelling generator. See a chitlin wafer and a chocolate buttered horses ass. Frabble obble abble and a stupid monkey chicken gas. Chinese diarrhea prison carpet chunky harplegig, Nopaliaseah perforated Purple parkle pig.
Currently
listening
:
Big Fat Box of Shit
By
Crotchduster
Release date: 05 October, 2004
I HATE the fucking media
Current mood: angry
Category: News and Politics
I am learning first hand that the news can take absolutely anything and blow it out of proportion. They also don't actually have to check their facts or list any source for their information. They take the most benign thing and make it a travesty by adding their own twist to the issue at hand. This all while making a bogus photograph of Bigfoot news at 5, 11 and 6. I can't get into any details here just yet, as soon as I can I will. Fuck you, the news.
What would Jesus do?
Current mood: contemplative
Category: News and Politics
I'm personally not a religous guy and for the most part cannot back any "christian" church that I'm aware of. This article cought my eye from CNN.com today and I have to say that I can't agree more with this guy. It's a long read, but it's worth it in the end.
NEW YORK (CNN) -- When did it come to the point that being a Christian meant caring about only two issues, abortion and homosexuality?
Ask the nonreligious what being a Christian today means, and based on what we see and read, it's a good bet they will say that followers of Jesus Christ are preoccupied with those two points.
Poverty? Whatever. Homelessness? An afterthought. A widening gap between the have and have-nots? Immaterial. Divorce? The divorce rate of Christians mirrors the national average, so that's no big deal.
The point is that being a Christian should be about more than abortion and homosexuality, and it's high time that those not considered a part of the religious right expose the hypocrisy of our brothers and sisters in Christianity and take back the faith. And those on the left who believe they have a "get out of sin free" card must not be allowed to justify their actions.
Many people believe we are engaged in a holy war. And we are. But it's not with Muslims. The real war -- the silent war -- is being engaged among Christians, and that's what we must set our sights on.
As we celebrate Holy Week, our focus is on the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. But aren't we also to recommit ourselves to live more like Jesus? Did Jesus spend his time focusing on all that he didn't like, or did Jesus raise the consciousness of the people to understand love, compassion and teach them about following the will of God?
As a layman studying to receive a master's in Christian communications, and the husband of an ordained minister, it's troubling to listen to "Christian radio" and hear the kind of hate spewing out of the mouths of my brothers and sisters in the faith.
In fact, I've grown tired of people who pimp God. That's right; we have a litany of individuals today who are holy, holy, holy, sing hallelujah, talk about how they love the Lord, but when it's time to walk the walk, somehow the spirit evaporates.
A couple of years ago I took exception to an e-mail blast from the Concerned Women for America. The group was angry that Democrats were blocking certain judges put up for the federal bench by President Bush. It called on Americans to fight Democrats who wanted to keep Christians off the bench.
So I called and sent an e-mail asking, "So, where were you when President Clinton appointed Christian judges to the bench? Were they truly behind Christian judges, or Republican Christian judges?
Surprise, surprise. There was never a response.
An African-American pastor I know in the Midwest was asked by a group of mostly white clergy to march in an anti-abortion rally. He was fine with that, but then asked the clergy if they would work with him to fight crack houses in predominantly black neighborhoods.
"That's really your problem," he was told.
They saw abortion as a moral imperative, but not a community ravaged by crack.
If abortion and gay marriage are part of the Christian agenda, I have no issue with that. Those are moral issues that should be of importance to people of the faith, but the agenda should be much, much broader.
I'm looking for the day when Jerry Falwell, Pat Robertson, Joyce Meyer, James Dobson, Tony Perkins, James Kennedy, Rod Parsley, " Patriot Pastors" and Rick Warren will sit at the same table as Jesse Jackson, Al Sharpton, Cynthia Hale, Eddie L. Long, James Meek, Fred Price, Emmanuel Cleaver and Floyd Flake to establish a call to arms on racism, AIDS, police brutality, a national health care policy, our sorry education system.
If they all say they love and worship one God, one Jesus, let's see them rally their members behind one agenda.
I stand here today not as a Republican or a liberal. And don't bother calling me a Democrat or a conservative. I am a man, an African-American man who has professed that Jesus Christ is Lord, and that's to whom I bow down.
If you concur, it's time to stop allowing a chosen few to speak for the masses. Quit letting them define the agenda.
So put on the full armor of God because we have work to do.
People who tell me that "motorcycles are dangerous"...
Current mood: amused
Category: Travel and Places
Just for grins and giggles, I would like to know, out of all "motorcycle fatalities" annually: 1. What percentage involved alcohol or some other substance? (rider or driver of car) 2. What percentage were attributed to a car driver? a)how many times were the words "I didn't see him" used? b)how many of these drivers were: *talking on their cell phone *texting on their cellphone *masturbating with their cell phone 3.What percentage were attributed to "inexperience" on the part of the rider? 4.What percentage were attributed to unexplained, freakish, did-everything-right-and-still-got-killed phenomena?
There's been quite a bit of talk lately -- everywhere -- about the opinions that the "public" has of riders. How about the opinions that we riders have of "the public"? Well, let's see...
1. Yes, some riders ride like assholes... but the number of drivers I observe driving like assholes on a daily basis is staggering by comparison. Weaving. Slowing down and speeding up. Crossing 4 lanes of traffic because they are about to miss their exit. Reading. Eating. Talking on phone. Yelling at their kids. Arguing with their spouse. Watching a movie. Putting on makeup. Driving home drunk on a Friday night. Hey... if I'm gonna ride like an asshole, you can at least be assured that ALL MY CONCENTRATION WILL BE FOCUSED ON THE ACT OF RIDING!!!!!!!!!!!
2. I would say that 50-75% of my own personal speed "antics".... are a direct response to a perceived threat. If I've got a Starbucks-drinking, cellphone-talking chick in a sportscar she shouldn't even be driving on my left, and a stressed out kid-driving, screaming mom in a minivan on my right.... GUESS WHAT -- you bet your sweet ass I am going to accelerate to whatever speed I feel is necessary to pass them and get as far away from that bullshit as possible. If someone is weaving all over the road, YUP!!! -- I am going to pass them and put as much distance as I feel is necessary between us for my own safety. If I'm sandwiched in between a tractor-trailer and a quad-cab pickup crammed full of grinning, waving day laborers whose vehicle is coming closer to me and my bike.... hmmmm.... yeah, I'm gonna have to go with...... ACCELERATE.
3. Freakin' drivers sitting around passing judgement upon motorcyclists in between phone calls and reading their maps. Yeah. You all are just fucking jealous. Admit it. We ride machines that are small, super-fast, nimble, and responsive. You don't. We can get through tight spaces and accelerate efficiently to do so. You can't. You have sold your soul and sleepwalk through your life. The last time you all had a shot of adrenaline was when you got pissed off because somebody tried to cut in front of you in line at Starbucks. Or because Verizon Wireless had a sale.
4. The DMV should come up with a virtual-reality video game to test drivers. You get a certain number of road scenarios. Guess what... you kill or clip a certain number of motorcycles... you don't get a license!!! Yeah, pitch THAT to X-Box 360.
5. We, as riders, are of the opinion with regard to you, the "public", that the words "I didn't see you/him/her" should be automatically and justifiably responded to with a bitch-slap. After the bitch slap, we can maybe add the words "Oh! Sorry, I didn't see YOU!"
6. Do drivers who cause accidents due to cell phones or alcohol get their cellphone and alcohol licenses revoked for 10 years?? .... oh wait.... silly me! You don't need a license for THOSE! You barely even need a license to DRIVE a CAR!!
7. The "public" preaches that we bad, bad motorcycle riders need to "take responsibility" for our actions. Even some of our own have said that. Well.... don't we? I mean, when I'm hauling ass down a country road, I know that Bambi can step into the road. When I'm on 66 I know there can be a State Trooper. I think most of us have had at least one moment where we have had the realization that what we do can get us killed, even if we follow the rules. How about drivers taking a little responsibility too?
8. Speed in and of itself does NOT equal UNSAFE. There are plenty of situations where throttling out is the very best thing that you can do. Not in a 25mph residential area with kids playing in the street..... but then again, I have rarely seen bikes do that -- MOSTLY JUST CARS. But on open roads with higher speed limits? Just let us get around you and get on with our lives.
9. If the government started impounding cars in the same way for 30+ mph violations.... well, we would have: a. multiple-car pile-ups from people trying to get away b. substantial increase in road-rage c. an automotive manufacturing business decline, when we already have one (hey... if you can buy a vehicle at auction, why buy from a dealer?) d. courts flooded with cases related to driving e. riots? f. the fall of western civilization? .... nah, just made those last two up...
10. Oh hell, I don't know... somebody else come up with 10...
Don't we get penalized enough as riders? Our insurance companies rape us soccer moms look at us disapprovingly while shielding their children's eyes and it's really fucking hard to enjoy a good cup of coffee or a decent meal on a crotch rocket with your helmet on...
Moved, new job...again??
Current mood: excited
Category: Jobs, Work, Careers
Yup, once again ladies and gentlemen I have moved and switched jobs. This time it was totally of my own choice. As some of you may remember I moved from Dormont to Avalon to be closer to the job that laid me off the very next day and shortly thereafter I took a job with Verizon Wireless. Well before I took that job I interviewed for a network analyist position for the City of Pgh. They called me back a few weeks ago and offered me the job, it pays about twice what I was making at either previous job, and it's a Unionized government job, so obviously I took it. The catch is that I had to live within the city limits and have moved here to the lovely SouthSide back by the Giant Eagle plaza. Jody and I found this place thefirst day of looking and we're paying the same as we were before, plus we're in the center of everything there is to do in this town. I start my new job on Monday and I can't wait!!!!!!
Currently
watching
:
Pumpkinhead Release date: 01 August, 2000
I'm bored so you suffer a weekend update.
Current mood: contemplative
Category: Life
So in case you all didn't know, last week was my birthday. Yes, I'm 31 but I don't look, feel or act it. I got cash money from the 'rents and the grents. Jody hooked me up with much wanted Tom Petty tickets. She and I got into a discussion about how all these great bands and artists are on their last tours and I'll never get to see them again, ie Tom Petty and Rodger Watters and I'm broke and will never get to see them. So I'm extremely excited to get to see Petty. I'd still like to figure out a way to see Watters, but the tickets are like $60 and I don't see it happening. Last weekend was the Pittsburgh Vintage Grand Prix. Jody's buddy from work is involved with it somehow and asked her if we would like to volunteer to work it this year. I agreed, although I've never been and not expecting to be close to any action at all. Well we ended up being corner flaggers for the race in turn 2. We were in charge of throwing out the yellow flag in case of problems or helping drivers out in case their cars wrecked or broke down. Also our turn wasn't a turn at all, but the longest straightaway followed by a blind drop, so when cars went past they were at the fastest speed of the whole course. This, of course, was awesome. We had one car break down early Sat morning, which wasn't much, then Sunday afternoon a car broke down right in front of us and I had to run out there and wave cars off of that corner. Kinda scary when you have a car coming at you at 85+ MPH. It was a good time and I look forward to it next year. Last week was also busy for ome in the job hunting department. I had interviews with Bobby Rahal Auto group, Mellon Bank and the City of Pittsburgh. The interviews went rather well for Rahal and Pgh, but I blew the Mellon interview. I'm supposed to hear from all of them next week regarding the positions, and somehow I was asked to come back for a second interview with Mellon too. With any luck I'll get the City job because it's a bit of everything I really want to do plus it's a Union job with exremely great benefits. So all of you pray or root or do whatever it is you do for me and hopefully I'll be gainfully employed by this time next week.
Unemployment is for cool kids!
Current mood: hopeful
Category: Jobs, Work, Careers
So I was layed off from RAM at the beginning of the month because "my department was being terminated". Really I was getting let go because I didn't have the stomach for what they're about to do to all of my favorite customers. The guy that took over and moved the company out to Slippery Rock is about to stop supporting the program and that is going to fuck over a lot of Ambulance Billing agencies across the country. I had been thinking about quitting for some time anyway, and this way I have time to go to a lot of interviews and be very discerning about my next job. All the while I get to collect free money in the form of unemployment. This is great! I get to go to Affagato, drink tea and coffee, look at MySpace and check out jobs while getting paid for it.
I'm not far from getting to the point that I'm fully ready to start working full time again, so if anyone knows anybody looking for a computer geek in any form please let me know, I'd appreciate it.
The Burg's best kept secret.
Current mood: refreshed
So last night I wanted to take Jody out for a nice dinner and possibly guzzle some decent wine (see previous blog). So I had intended to take her to the Prelude Wine Bar located in the lobby of the Renisance Hotel downtown on 6th. Well she wanted to actually eat and wanted to go to Bossa Nova on 9th. I had walked past there on the way to and from Steeler games and thought nothing of it and figured I'd never actually go in. Am I glad I did... They were having a Valentine's special that night where you got a filet and prawn dinner with salad and dessert for $22.50 each. I could cut the filet with my fork and hardly had to chew it, the prawns were wrapped in bacon and I couldn't decide what was better between them and the steak. The sides were potatoes and asparagus. The potatoes were damn near as good as the steak! I also purchased a bottle of Yellow Tail Shiraz to go with it all. The best part was that noone was in there last night. I couldn't believe it. Then we got dessert, she got a rasberry ice cream with this chocolate dipping stuff and I got a pecan caramel cheesecake. Dinner was incredible, the company was great and we still had time to jump over to the Prelude and get a glass of wine and drink it in the lobby of the most amazing hotel I've ever been in. Thanks Bossa Nova for not having any idea how to advertise your best idea ever! All in all it was a great night, I hope everyone's Valentine's was as good!!!
amused
aroused
angry
contemplative
soccer moms look at us disapprovingly while shielding their children's eyes 
and it's really fucking hard to enjoy a good cup of coffee or a decent meal on a crotch rocket with your helmet on... 
mischievous
excited
hopeful
refreshed