10 Examples of the internet being used for complete and utter idiocy
Current mood: Shibby
Category: Shibby Web, HTML, Tech

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Surveying surveys
Category: Web, HTML, Tech

1.  Why do you think people on social sites are so obsessed with surveys?

     Because social sites breed stupidity where there previously was none?

2.  What was the last random question that came to your mind?

     The one I just typed.

3.  Do you have any interest in telling people about your love life through random survey questions?

     Surprisingly, no.

4.  Do you think people actually care about the last text message/call/hug/kiss/reacharound/etc... that you received?

     I would say no but unfortunately it seems that everyone does.

5.  Do you think that the average social site friend reveals as much to their significant others within a 5 year period that they reveal to total strangers in 10 minutes on these random surveys?

     I'm pretty sure the only way that happens is if said significant other stumbles upon their profile and all hell unravels...  Healthy?  No.  Amusing?  You bet your ass.

6.  Has a random social site survey ever served an actual meaningful purpose?

     I'm not sure.  If Saddam Hussein, Osama Bin Laden or Kim Jong Il ever filled out a survey about the Western Devil then I am almost certain that the CIA or FBI thought it was important  and tried desperately to gain meaning from it, ultimately failing.  Otherwise, no.

7.  When was the last time you read a social site survey that didn't contain random and sarcastic babblings that led only to a sick punchline instead of any sort of useful information about the submitter?

     Never.  I don't want to live in a world like that.

8.  Do you think social site surveys help people to find out things about themselves that were previously unknown to them?

     Yes.  It helps them to realize that they like wasting time practicing such insanities as filling out random surveys online.  The guy at the mall trying to get you to fill out a survey about lounge chairs gets spit on everday by passerbys but the internet has bred millions of survey freaks that are just dying to tell me what color their panties are...regardless of their gender, unfortunately.

9.  Is it sad that the people that know you in real life on a personal level find it necessary to send you idiotic surveys in order to know more about you instead of inviting you to coffee?

     Oh, yes.  Oh my dear, sweet God...yes.

10.  Is there anything good about social site surveys?

     Making fun of them.

-Mike (The Butcher)
[[ blog.myspace.com/miketheunited ]]

** For the love of God, this is not an actual survey.  It is a parody.  I swear if I find this thing reposted, cut, pasted and taken out of context...well, I'm afraid I might just have to murder someone. **

2:14 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Running a losing race
Category: News and Politics

     In a generation of free thinkers and adamant emotional soldiers, do any of us care anymore about the political race?

     In this undeniable age of young people that don't care about empty promises and thrown away dreams, do any of us even remotely give a proverbial shit about who promises what, or lays stake to what we know is not true?

     Politicians, in my mind, are the ultimate dying race.  Hillary, Rudy, Obama, Mitt...who gives a shit?  They are doing what every 35-60 year old egotistical politician has been doing my entire life...

     ...lying to me.

     I feel there is no greater power in this country than the unified public of our nation.  I believe this because I grew up a true patriot.  I don't listen to empty promises and false guarantees.  I feel so deeply about this because I was born and raised an American that truly believed that the many could outweigh the few regardless of the situation.

     George W. Bush and his insane and untrustworthy administration have embittered me, for sure, but no one else has risen to show that there is a promising future.  I am still stuck in a governmental system that empowers the worthless while pushing down the public.  The greatest message by the Democrats is to empower the "Middle Class" and the "all knowing" message from the Republicans is to destroy our overseas' enemies.

     First and foremost, I am not a part of this hallowed "Middle Class".  I am poor and deserve the most attention of all.  It is an estimated 48% of our country that lives below the so-called poverty line.  Unfortunately, we are not important to anyone, and most of all, we are worthless to the political movements of these would be presidents.

     Secondly, the Republicans still strive to linger on a war that above 80% of this country disagrees with.  Vietnam, anyone?  Yeah, thanks.  Sell me another.

     When will America actually be the unified voice of the free and brave?

     When will Americans actually be the voice of reason?

     Well, shit...I'm sorry to say that you all probably never will be.  I am sickened and saddened by the worthlessness of the public in this country.  No one ever wants to stand up and be heard.  You all just want to scrape by and not rock the boat.

     Screw that and screw you.  Rock the boat as hard as you can so that the ones standing at the top can be thrown to the seas.  They are the boat and we are the ocean.

     I think it's about time that we create a monsoon to blow their half assed opinions into the waters of doubt.

-Mike (The Butcher -- blog.myspace.com/miketheunited)

2:14 AM - 1 Comments - 1 Kudos - Add Comment

End the madness
Category: Movies, TV, Celebrities

     (* Sad Music Playing *)

     Did you know that every fifteen seconds a selfish actor/actress/musician/celebrity makes a stupid commercial about how it's our fault that children are starving?

     Did you know that every fifteen seconds the upper 1% of America try to make you feel bad for not uniting to end disease and strife on the planet Earth?

     Did you know that every fifteen seconds the top few that look down on us consistently decide that they now look down on us for the ridiculous reason that we don't give one dollar a day out of our meek and sad existence to fix the world's problems?

     Did you know that every fifteen seconds the people that make more, every day, than you could make in your entire lifetime have decided to make depressing commercials that make you feel bad for buying a pizza instead of helping the poor in Africa?

     Did you know that every fifteen seconds every idiot famous person in our god forsaken country adopts a random good looking foreign baby instead of using said money to feed 10 or 20 villages for the remainder of their lives.

     Did you know that every fifteen seconds some jerk-off celebrity thinks that they are helping the world by giving $10,000 of their $100 million dollars to some random charity that their broker told them would be a great tax break?

     Did you know that every fifteen seconds we idolize completely idiotic f**kers while they use their fame for nothing more than buying huge portions of land and building mansions?

     Did you know that this country is completely insane?

-Mike (The Butcher -- blog.myspace.com/miketheunited)

-- Sorry but I just saw another idiot commercial with the richest of the rich telling me that I need to help charities while their sole contribution is to act in a stupid f**king commercial...I feel nothing but anger towards these 'idols' --

1:57 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Who cares?
Current mood: angry
Category: Sports

     Hmmm....how to start this?  Oh, I know...

     The New England Patriots are cheaters.

     Yes, yes...Boston, now that you have all cried yourselves a river and railed against me, let's get back to the real subject matter...(in which you do not count).

     This Super Bowl will go down in history as the one that absolutely does not matter.  This "dynasty" as we like to call it will go down as one that is tainted and undeserving.  We, as sports fans, are not allowed to disgrace Barry Bonds for tainting his sport while praising the Patriots for being the greatest team of all time.  The New England Patriots cheated like motherf'ers and deserve the biggest asterisk ever.  Why?  I will be glad to tell you.

     You are not allowed to be an undefeated and franchise record holding team after the whole world caught you cheating in week two.  If the American Congress had caught Bonds cheating in his second week and convicted him of perjury, 756 never would have existed, much less been a subject of debate for the entirety of the 2007 year.

     Oh, but guess what?  The New England Patriots WERE caught cheating and got nothing more than a slap on the wrist.  They should be DISQUALIFIED from every game or championship to come for the entire 2007-08 season.  I don't care if they are a great team.  I don't care if they really are the greatest team of this year -- they are cheaters.  Treat them like such and get them out of the sport.  No one wants to have a bunch of cheating hacks with a cheating jerk for a coach usurping the 1972 Dolphins.

     Don't get me wrong, the 1972 Dolphins are angry, bitter and shitty.  No one likes them either, but guess what?....they didn't cheat.

     The New England Patriots can go 19-0 and sweep the entire season but they will never be above the scrutiny that they are cheaters.  I don't care at what level you cheated.  I don't care how badly you took advantage.  You are C-H-E-A-T-E-R-S-!....

     This Super Bowl is meaningless and anyone that disagrees is either a Boston fan...

     ...or a retard.

-Mike (The Butcher)

[[ blog.myspace.com/miketheunited ]]

3:18 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

The scene of pain
Current mood: apathetic
Category: Life

     It seems that not much can change me.

     There is not much surrounding me that can change my course...

     What makes me the me that you can see?  What alleviates the pain that you inflict?  What purpose do I have when I can't see the purpose in you?  Have you ever turned an eye towards me or have you always turned your blind eye?

     When was the turn of the tides that broke me from the crushing waves that encapsule me?  Why did you feel a need to bury me when all I needed was a sign and a reason to be?  Were you ever there?  Were the nerves ever struck to make you see the true me?

     I love to think of the everlasting.  I love to believe in the signs of truth...although they exist only in lies.  When will you show the face of truth?  When will you ever come out to the party?  I love to believe in the things that make me whole...but the reality is far more bleak.

     The sacred is the sad.  The believers are the mad.  No one breaks this pattern of insanity and I keep waiting.  I stay waiting.

     When will the tide stay down and when will the gods become the damned?  No one thinks the thoughts that will free them from insanity but are more than willing to tell you that you are imprisoned in the chains of repression.

     Stay free.

     Think thoughts that invoke the impassioned to fight.

     Never stop to imagine the sad, the stuck or the broken.

     When will we be free?

     Never.

-The Butcher

[[ blog.myspace.com/miketheunited ]]

2:53 AM - 1 Comments - 1 Kudos - Add Comment

Too Soon
Category: Life

     Sean Taylor, Safety for the Washington Redskins passed away on Tuesday, November 27th, a day that I will never forget.  I will never forget the SuperBowls that I got to see the Redskins play and win in my time.  I will never forget every year that we have made the playoffs.

      I will never, however, forget this day for a much more important reason.  Sean Taylor was taken from his friends, family and fans far too early and for no reason.  Sean Taylor was on pace to become the greatest safety that the NFL has ever seen.  Even more than that, Sean was on track to become one of the greatest fathers, team mates and overall men that the world has ever seen.

     There are so many things that happened too soon in this situation.

     Sean was taken from all of us far too soon.  I'd say somewhere around 60 years too soon.

     Sean's condition deteriorated too soon.  We all only had one night of very troubled sleep, or I'm sure in the case of his actual family, no sleep at all.  I for one was not at all prepared to wake up to the news of his death.

     Sean's team mates, family, friends and even his fans were forced to concentrate on football again way too soon.  For once in my entire Redskins-loving life, I truly did not care about a game that they played.  It was just too soon.  I couldn't watch a game where Sean wasn't flying around all over my screen knocking running backs and receivers all over the field.

     Sean's fellow defensive players were not ready to line up 11 on Sunday.  They proved it by lining up 10.  This wasn't a stupid move and this wasn't unnecessarily sentimental.  Trust me when I say that all 10 of them felt the 11th man lined up next to and behind them.  Sean's place was just too huge and influential to easily fill that void.

     My brain is leaking in thoughts of how we can fix our team far too soon.  I am slowly but surely coming to terms with all of this but I wish our year could just end right now so that everyone can have the time to heal and reflect on what is truly important.

     Sean Taylor's early departure has forced everyone to focus on what is truly important in this world and unfortunately the Redskins themselves are not immune to this.

     Sometimes things happen that people need more than 5 days to recover from and this definitely qualifies.

     Sean, we miss you more and more each day and every football game that we watch or attend is going to seem totally empty for a while.  I can't even imagine how much worse it is for your friends and team mates to line up every week and look across the field, expecting to see 21...

     It's hard to play the game with heart when your heart is entirely broken.

-The Butcher.

[[ Michael L. Nielsen -- blog.myspace.com/miketheunited ]]

(( We will always miss and remember you Sean Taylor [1983-2007] ))

4:06 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

The Old Unit on the Drained Main
Category: Music

     What time is it?  That's right, it is 'Random Music Review Time'!  Hooray.

     My last two reviews have been, admittedly, in some way biased due to the fact that I was invited to said events by at least one of the bands involved.  Granted, I expected all of my readers to still realize that my reviews were brutally honest and gave a true account of the events that took place...

     ...Regardless, here is my newest review.

*   *   *

[[ Unit 7 Drain ]]

     When I first moved to Albuquerque at the age of 19 (8 years ago, for you who are keeping count), I had come here from Las Cruces and truly believed that Albuquerque was the pinnacle of all music scenes because, well, I had just left Las Cruces.  If you don't understand that statement, then you need to spend a week or two in Las Cruces.

     One of the very first bands I saw in this city was Unit 7 Drain, formed in 2000, and was immediately impressed with them.  Since then, I have probably seen this band some 20 odd times, give or take and am, generally, equally impressed on every occasion that I can attend one of their shows.  I have also had the pleasure of meeting several members of this band and really have nothing but good things to say about the people that they are.  I also believe that they have a very good work ethic as a band and have gone above and beyond when it comes to promoting themselves and being in the public eye.  The problem I have is that ever since the first show I saw, I haven't seen a whole lot of progression in this band.

     As so many of their bios point out, Unit 7 Drain can really only be described as "rock".  There aren't a whole lot of comparisons that I can make.  They are well formed in that genre and never really spill over into any other.  Harry and Ella generally sing in dulcet tones that keep the rhythm going while occasionally breaking through to a rougher level and making things accelerate, as it were.  Not much to say there, really.  Pretty much every time that I have attended a Drain concert, the vocal levels have been so low that the myriad of instruments involved have almost entirely drowned them out.

     I should point out that this is quite an accomplishment.  I may just be making this up in my own mind, but I seriously think that Unit 7 Drain have been using the exact same equipment for the last 7 years.  If I am wrong then I invite them to call me out on that, but every time I see them I see the same mediocre equipment that just doesn't stand out.  Don't get me wrong, I am not calling them cheap or trying to tell you that they suck because they don't have ridiculously expensive, stand-out equipment like some bands use to cover up their mediocrity.  I am merely pointing out that their equipment seems to be a very sore point in an otherwise talented band.

     Every instrument, from bass to keyboard, seems to blend together in a "we didn't do a sound check" sort of way.  The bad thing is, Drain usually does a very concise and exact sound check, so I know they can't blame it on that.  I know this may all sound a bit harsh but I am a local music reviewer and after 7 years on the scene, I just expect such a prominent band to have invested more than just their time.  Buying equipment sucks, I know, but sounding like an 8 track player during a performance sucks way more.

     The other gripe I have is that regardless of how great their unity may be, none of the members stand out.  Ever.  I do appreciate when a band is "tight" and can stick together throughout an entire set, but sooner or later your audience expects a solo or...well, some sort of stand out performance from someone.  Let me explain again that I am a local reviewer, so when I review bands I am far more concentrated on how well you entertained and interacted with the crowd than I am how closely your performance matched your demo recording.  When you are playing Tingley or Journal, I promise I will start listening more closely to how well you executed...for right now, I just want you to give me a reason to see you again.  And, well, when no one in the band moves more than two or three inches during your entire set...I just don't feel that motivated to move to what you are playing.

     And therein lies the problem.  Unit 7 Drain is very, very talented.  Their recordings are fantastic.  If you ever have a desire to purchase one of their CDs, you should definitely follow up on it.  I have a Unit 7 Drain CD and have heard almost every song that they have via the internet and have never been unimpressed with the tunes that they come out with.  Great stuff, really.  I, for one, would never release a review about Drain without telling you that you should support them and even grab a CD or two of theirs.  Unfortunately, I will release this review, saying plainly that Unit 7 Drain needs to stir themselves up on stage, probably invest in better equipment (or mix their sound better), and quite honestly, I believe that they need to mix up their music itself.  I do love what they have done so far, but it has come to my attention that every time they come out with a new song it seems suspiciously a lot like their last 50 or so that they wrote.

     I love you Unit 7 Drain, but I think it's about time to take a seat and think about where you are headed musically and, if this is what you all truly want to do, professionally.

<< unit7drain.net // myspace.com/unit7drain >>

*  *  *

[[ The Old Main ]]

     There are two things that I think are truly lacking from the Albuquerque scene:  Bars that support actual bands (not DJs and shitty Hip-Hop crap) and the much needed Jazz performers.

     The Old Main is a step closer to solving this problem.  They are rockabilly.  They are jazz.  They are somewhere in between while still being true to a somewhat hardcore root.  They are fantastic.  Strangely, on MySpace, they describe themselves as Rock/Alternative/Americana.  I disagree so intently with that except for, perhaps, Americana in a way...but, hey, it's not my band I guess.

     Before I get too far, let me explain right now that what this band does so well is to make you move around.  Hell, they accomplish this even if you don't want to.  This is a big thing to me since I go to every show thinking about how I am going to review them, not how I am going to jump around.  Yeah, I know, that sounds really lame but I am entirely serious about my writings and therefore am generally a little focused and boring at most shows.

     The members of this band have so many things going for them that I find it difficult to formulate them in any order, so let's have a little bulleted fun and make a quirky little list to follow along with:

     * They play impeccably while remaining animated and intense all the way through their lengthy set.  I would love to give individual props to either Rod, Zoltan or Mojo, but I can't.  They are equally fanatic and just absolutely bleed energy on stage.

     * Their entire set is well written, played and thought out.  If you don't believe me than go ahead and head to their myspace and you can hear a great deal of their set.  This music is awesome and has been sorely missed in this scene.

     * They love their crowd.  I was a little worried at times that they would jump down and make out with one of us.  Really...they were in constant eye contact and making every effort to involve us in the experience.  I'm pretty sure that is what music shows are supposed to accomplish, but unfortunately it's rare these days to have a band actually do so.

     * Um...Zoltan is straight up fucking crazy.  Yes, this is a good thing.  Just go to their show.  You'll understand.

     I don't have a whole lot more to say.  I could easily write two to three more paragraphs gushing all over these guys, but I see no reason.  They are good.  They are worth your time and if there is ever a door charge, than they are worth your money.  Visit their site, go to their shows and buy their shit if you have any spare cash.  They deserve your support.

<< theoldmain.com // myspace.com/theoldmain >>

*   *   *

     So there you go true believers, another Butcher music review in the books.  I hope it leads you all out to the bars to support some of these folks.  I look forward to the comments, hate mail, death threats, etc...

     Until next time,

-The Butcher.

[[ Michael L. Nielsen -- blog.myspace.com/miketheunited ]]

5:14 PM - 3 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

Jobless, Mooning Adams Wielding .45s
Category: Music

     And now for everyone's favorite thing to complain about...

     A brand new music review from The Butcher!  Yay!  Let us take a moment to pre-write a bunch of complaining nonsense.  Yes, bands of whom I am not writing about, I am speaking to you.  For the rest of you:

     Sit back and enjoy.  Or stop reading my blog.  Either way, let me explain to you, in the most sincere way possible, that I truly, truly do not care what you think.

     I thought long and hard about the way that I would write this review.  And believe me when I say, that what I really mean  is that I drank an unbelievable amount of beer and thought long and hard about how I should sober up and actually write the review I promised.  You see, two weeks ago I was approached by my good friend Dave about me attending his band's (Sycorax's) first show and reviewing their band.  I was excited, as usual, because the only thing I like more than drinking beer and listening to live, local music is writing about said music.  I also genuinely enjoy receiving the ridiculous flack that I receive due to the reviews that I post.  So I jumped into Dave's car on friday expecting a fun night of drunken, punk music driven debauchery and I was most definitely not disappointed.  After watching this heavy and hard driven line up, I decided the easiest way to review all four bands that night was to write an all encompassing review and simply seperate each performance with an ellipsis, making it very easy for the reader to differentiate between each band...you know, without all the thinking and stuff.

     So let us begin with that lame writing staple that I will be using throughout.  Ellipsis, that is your cue.

*  *  *

[[ Sycorax ]]

     I will not bother explaining the overly scientific definition of what a syncorax actually is.  I prefer that my readers have to Google it, just as I had to.  Needless to say, it is very obscure and absolutely reaks of the strangeness that I have come to know through my friendships with the members of this band.

     I already knew several things about this band, prior to their opening show, that made me jump to several conclusions before going to see them.  I feel a need to list these things now:

     * They have, as far as I know, only been a band for about 3 months.

     * They have, as far as I know, only had a drummer for about 3 weeks.

     * They have, as far as I know, some of the strangest minds of this century.

     Those very unconfirmed facts should already impress you.  These guys approached their musical creation with only one goal:  Make music A.S.A.P. and then go blow people's brains into the wall with a fast and furious set, just so that people will know that we are on the scene.

     This may sound sophomoric and perhaps a little ridiculous but believe me when I say:  it worked.

     Sycorax did far more than I expected, and this is coming from the friend that was invited to review them.  I truly expected a phenomenal meltdown on stage.  Perhaps something that conjured images of a garage band practicing on a high school budget.  Well, that's not what happened.

     The songs are very well thought out and executed.  Keep in mind that the longest song in their set, I believe, clocks in at around one minute and fifteen seconds.  I spoke to them afterwards and have learned that this is definitely something that will change and they wanted me, and everyone else, to realize that this is the roughest of rough drafts.  This is their test show, so to speak.

     The vocals were outstanding, and I am not just blowing smoke up their pretty little skirts.  What I saw was two people, whom I already know to be very talented musicians, executing meter and measure as well as any other band in this scene.  They were always on cue.  The drums, considering Gary has only been with them for about 3 weeks, only suffered during the first song (however, in all fairness, they all struggled through the first song -- chalk it up to first show jitters).  After that song, the drums were just as in sync as the guitars and vocals and I was truly entertained.

     Bottom line?  I was entertained, and that to me is the entire purpose of striking out onto the live music circuit.  I seriously want you all to remember the name of 'Sycorax' and see where they are 9-10 months from now.

     I guarantee they will not fail to impress.

*  *  *

[[ The Unemploid ]]

     This review is, by far, the hardest one for me to write.  I am STILL not entirely sure what to think about this band.  Yes, they are talented.  Yes, they are tight as fuck.  Yes, they have very well written and performed songs.

     What was so strange to me is the way their set didn't seem to mesh together.

     Throughout my schooling and my study of writing I have been taught to sandwich anything bad in between two examples of the good.  So here is my strongest effort:

     The Unemploid are very well rehearsed and executed.  The lead singer commands attention while the remainder of the band never truly disappoints in the same field.  The rhythms, lyrics and pacing of each song were catchy and made me want to keep listening.  I most definitely would go to see any show these guys put on.

     The problem?  Well, the set was incredibly strange.  The first three songs seemed very pop punk and unusual.  They conjured images of a punk band trying to implement other genres into an already perfect sound.  I am sorry to say that I was too lazy to  meet with the bands afterwards and get set lists, but I will just call "The Second Song I Heard" a little too poppy.  I actually believed I heard a bit of post-modern-swing/SKA genre in it, i.e. Mighty Mighty Bosstones. 

     That's enough of the negative, because after those first three songs, The Unemploid blew my brains out.  It was crazy.  It seriously felt like they were messing with me the entire time.  The ridiculous energy and carnage that they placed on that stage afterwards was a glorious thing.  I was moving without knowing it.  I was impressed with every stroke of the guitar, every beat of the drum and every half scream-half sing that escaped from the lead singer.  Really.  This band kicked my ass all over the place while simultaneously making me do that stupid audience thing where I am singing words I don't even know -- because I've never heard the song -- but the shit is just too catchy to not sing along -- because...

     Well, fuck...you know what I mean.  You all have done it too.

     Bottom line?  The guys are excellent and deserve a top spot in the scene.  I just wish I knew what the fuck was going on in those first ten minutes.

*  *  *

[[ Adam don't Care ]]

     This is perhaps the easiest review I have ever had to write.

     Adam don't Care is exactly what I expected them to be.

     I had only heard their stuff briefly, through others, and wasn't entirely familiar with their music before the show.  However, I knew that they were a very well established band.  I also knew that they were very proficient at touring and were generally well accepted in every city they visited.

     What did they do?  Well, they came on stage and pounded shit out with incredible execution that rings true of most bands with million dollar sound crews and record executives behind them.  Seriously.  Crisp and clean as fuck.  They have also obviously been working on their set for some time and ironing out any wrinkles because there was no song in their set that I thought, "Huh...that could be cleaned up a bit..."

     I absolutely have to throw this side note into this review:

     AdC is compromised of, quite possibly, the nicest fucking people I have ever met in my entire existence on this god forsaken planet.  These guys are genuinely nice and respectful to everyone.  No bullshit.  No glamour.  No ridiculous ego riding bullshit.  They were talking and hanging with everyone and going out of their way to make the people around them feel comfortable.  I know you all would just love to believe that they were riding my proverbial cock because they knew I would be writing about them, but I only spent a short period of time speaking with any of them.  What I am talking about is how they reacted and treated everyone else.  If anyone left that show not knowing who AdC was, it is probably because they were really, really drunk and don't remember the entire night.

     Back to the meat of the story...

     Well, shit.  I have no idea what else to say.  The guys stink horribly of professionalism and I am glad I got to see them play.  I look forward to their next show and am glad that they know the true meaning of being a local band:

     Be ready.  Be damn good at what you do.  Be as hard as you can.

     And most of all, be genuinely good guys who respect the scene you are in.

     The bottom line?  These guys know their place and they love every second of it.

*  *  *

[[ .45 Caliber Sluts ]]

     I am going to begin this review with the actual words that passed through my brain when I heard the first five minutes of this band's set:

     "What the fuck?!?",

     "Who the hell?!?", and...

     "How did I miss this before???".

     Let me preface this entire article by saying, plainly, that I was apparently not listening to these guys very well the last time that I heard them.  Well...actually, in all fairness, these are NOT the same guys that they were before.

     There is a rumor, and perhaps nothing more, going around that the .45 Caliber Sluts were not entirely satisfied with my last review because I wrote them off as a side note and, well, never even mentioned their names.  I still believe that there was nothing wrong with that.  When I think back to that show, I STILL can not even remember the Sluts making any impression on me.  Perhaps my fault.  Perhaps theirs.  It totally doesn't matter because...

     ...Where did your new bad-assery come from and how long have I been missing out?

     This, I know, will be the review that everyone thinks I am just sucking the balls of the band and writing nonsense based off the members that I know.  For those people, allow me to point out that I only know the drummer and before this show I had completely forgotten that he was even IN the band.  The other three I STILL don't know.  I never even spoke to them after the show.  Hell, they were the headliners and I was ready to leave and get drunk by that time.

     The .45 Caliber Sluts are an absolutely, ridiculously, unbelievably impressive mesh of dark rock and thrash punk.  They are fast and furious while still being well thought out and beautifully orchestrated at the same time.  Their so called "Warm Up Song" that they played first actually outshined the entire rest of the set.  The decision to have them headline was a last minute one and confused some people, but to me it was the best decision of the night.

     It has been six days since I have been to this show and I am still not entirely sure I can come up with something that the Sluts did wrong.  I am not joking.  Execution?  Meter?  Measure?  Stage Presence?  Drive?  All outstanding.  Plus, I don't think I have every laughed harder than when they played a hilarious cover of The Rum Fits' "Free Drinks".  Just for the record, they decided to rename it "Fat Chicks" and to be very crude and inexcusably vulgar about it.  It was beautiful.  My kind of humor.

     I am not in the habit of kissing the ass of any band.  I never have been.  I have always been in the habit of saying primarily good things about any local band that has the balls to get out there and play, making our city a more interesting place with a better music scene.  But this band needs absolutely none of my flattery.  I write this because they impressed upon me in the way very few bands do and I am already re-writing my schedule to include some of their upcoming shows.  No shit.

     The bottom line?  The .45 Caliber Sluts are pumped and absolutely brimming with talent.  They aren't going anywhere and here is to hoping that you will be around to see them. 

*  *  *

     That's it folks.  No more ellipsis.  Hope you enjoyed and I, as always, hope that you will get your asses off the fucking couch to go see these and other bands that are constantly breaking their backs to support an already dying music scene.  Most of these shows are free or very, very cheap so you have no excuse.

     I love Albuquerque...I just can't fucking stand the scene.

     So let's fix it.

-The Butcher.

[[ Michael L. Nielsen -- blog.myspace.com/miketheunited ]]

10:43 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

The Reckoning
Category: Life

And yet there is very little for me to behold, after all the pain and misunderstanding I have had to live through. 

Many places and persons throughout these hollowed grounds have experienced a place I shall never know.

And you can, and shall, continue to see and bestow a place that is varied and misunderstood.

Where do we draw the line?  And where do we stop the strife?

My God sees a land unlike yours.  He, and or she, sees a land that show you all of the wrongs.  I pray for your death.  I never see your side -- or life.

We murder on impulse.  You struck us for over 3,000, while we make our way to your inner grounds.  We mourn our dead while we murder your children.  Our bombs wreak of vengeance.  Our bullets scream with anguish.  I want to see you dead although I have never seen your eyes.  I hope they're black.

I hope you die.

Streaming crimson is the only color I see in the painting of my mind.

I was hurt.  I misunderstand you.  I don't care.

Do you even think of us when we die?  Do you expect us to care in turn?

Where does the line draw itself and we turn inside and see the line?

I will never understand you, as long as you understand yourselves only by murdering my brethren.  And you will never believe in yourselves as long as we survive on the same planet.

So fuck you.  I will not become you.  I will kill you if the chance arises, but you have brought that upon yourselves.

-The Butcher.

(( Michael L. Nielsen -- blog.myspace.com/miketheunited ))

1:26 AM - 2 Comments - 1 Kudos - Add Comment

Life is a strange business...
Category: Life

A strange business indeed. I keep learning things time and time again regardless of my age, experience or past. Recently I have learned many things, among them:

* I am not all-knowing of the PC even though I have been using it for over 17 years...my ridiculous Introduction to Computer Applications class has shown me that I am not very well versed in basic software applications.

* I am still struggling to find the perfect balance in my relationship. I feel I have failed more than once and am still struggling to find a way to convince my (very beloved) girlfriend, every day of my life, that I love her more than words will ever be able to convey.

* Experience does not necessarily carry with it a lesson. More than not, experience is nothing more than a bad moment that sticks with you while, alas, still leaving you entirely confused and heart broken. The saying "You only learn from your mistakes and they only make you stronger" is a bunch of nonsense. You only learn if you want, and many times you only learn the third or fourth time around.

* You are never capable of understanding where you will be 10 years from now - much less 1 minute from now. There is a very good chance, given my stubborness, that I will be a successful writer 10 years from now. However, to hear it from my lips - I will be nothing more than a failure has-been 30 seconds from now. Your doubts and concerns of the future have absolutely no impact on your long term unless you allow them to.

* The people you trust now are not only capable of forgetting you at the drop of a dime, they probably already have. This is not just some random pessimistic thought. This is the truth. The people you truly and absolutely love most probably will not do such a thing to you, but the people that you consider to be a good friend today may very well roll over on you within the next 24 hours. How many people have you met in the past 12 months? How many are still trusted reliants of yours? Not many I would assume. Your loves (significant others, family and pets) are probably the only ones that you can rely on. You probably can not put all of your weight onto most of those that insist that you can. Be careful.

* Beware the cult. This goes along with the above mentioned paragraph. Your so called friends, and such, generally have a way of finding a past time that you can become involved in that will enable you to believe that you are going to change the world in some way. I recently was a part of a band that made me believe that they would carry me with them into the promised land. Yeah, okay. There are many other examples. Some friends drag you into religion, into a sport, into a job, into a life that you never actually considered before you met them. The problem is that you are not actually living this experience - your friend is, and you should take yourself out as soon as possible in order to avoid a nasty realization and the confrontation that will surely follow.

* Never assume. No, I am not going to make some ridiculous pun about making an ass of you and me. What I am going to say, however, is that people are almost always wrong...about everything. I am the absolute WORST when it comes to assuming. I almost always believe that I know the way a given situation will unravel. My success rate to date?...Well, probably about 5,000,000:1. I am absolutely horrible about predicting outcomes and am generally pessimistic due to the facts presented to me well before the event itself. I know you are all the same and have always had those "Holy Crap" moments when you realize the situation was actually a blessing in disguise. We are human, not deity.

The bottom line? I want everyone to realize that life is not just a parlor game. While you can definitely try and play the odds in your favor, the game is only over when you can no longer play your hand. It could be tomorrow, next week, or...yes, 10 seconds from now. We have no control...

...So please pay attention and learn every lesson that you can. And then please comment, message or e-mail them to me because I am seriously interested about how you all will think when you know there may very well be nothing waiting at the other end.

What did you learn from life thus far? Let's make this a serious project.

Remember, I am studying to be a career writer - I truly want your input and will put it to good use.

-Mike.

(Thank You)

3:52 AM - 1 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

We are just immigrants.
Category: News and Politics

     I am 35% Native American.  This statistic not only means nothing but is completely over utilized and ridiculed for the same reason.  Native American is quite a ridiculous notion.  No one, not one person, is actually a Native American in the way that we choose to define it.  I know that I will be attacked for what I am saying but I seriously don't care.  Anyone willing to do their research of human evolution will realize that proclaiming native inhabitant of any land mass is completely subject to ridicule.

     Native Americans have got to stop proclaiming a human right towards the land that they proclaim.  So called Americans have also got to stop proclaiming a right to the land that they begot.  This land that you all so "proclaim" is nothing more than a mass of dirt that you stake your flags in.  You have no right, you have no purpose.  This is a broken portion of Earth that has no owner and you are ALL immigrants.  Don't any of you dare say that this land belongs to you.  It does not.  Native Americans immigrated into this land.  Spanish people immigrated into this land.  Europeans, although the last, had every right as well to immigrate into this land.

     Was it right, the way that the Europeans handled their immigration?  Probably not.  I don't care.  Can you all stop holding a grudge?  Apparently not.

     The borders that we have created, and worse, the reservations that we have created are human made lines of segregation.  We should have all just been Americans, but no one was happy with that.  The fact that we have whites, blacks, indians, asians (and whatever) fighting over a closed boundary land is completely idiotic.  We are arguing over how we can keep Mexicans out of our melting pot of stupidity while we should be arguing over why we think we are allowed to segregate ethnicities to begin with.

     To every stupid person out there that still sees colors when they see another person I offer you this challenge:

     Cure cancer, create world peace, see your brethren as who they are instead of what color they are and THEN find an absolute reason why we should shut down other cultures because of distant history.

     None of my generation created the problems you are so mad about.  Are you seriously so void inside that you have to find a reason to hate your neighbor?  If so...

     ...Go start your own country and see if there are no racial casualties.

-The Butcher.

(( Michael L. Nielsen -- blog.myspace.com/miketheunited ))

4:05 AM - 1 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

We are just lucky.
Category: Life

     Millions upon millions of years ago two objects broke free of the asteroid belt of our solar system and collided.  This event is the only reason that you and every human being on the planet exist.

     Dinosaurs were the major players of our planet for over 168 million years.  They were evolutionary masterpieces and proved what pure and unadulterated power truly is.  Each and every species of dinosaur was custom made by evolution to take full advantage of their surroundings and their prey.  The brontosaurus was the giraffe of the age, growing unusually long necks in order to survive when there was limited foliage allowed for grazing.  The stegosaurus grew literal weapons on it's entire spinal column in order to protect itself while also being lucky enough to have a 500 pound spike bat for a tail.  The Tyrannosaurus Rex was the ultimate killing machine.  It's legs grew and shrank proportionately for what was required for killing it's prey.  It's head deformed to such a degree that the only purpose it served was to kill it's prey in one strike.  Keep in mind, all of these beasts had unbelievably small brains.

     What is my point?  Well that collision in the asteroid belt I spoke of earlier produced a fateful piece of shrapnel.  A piece of galactic rock larger than the state of Rhode Island.  That piece of death shot directly towards Earth and obliterated almost all life from our planet.  The only reason we exist is because of an absolutely incredible chain of events that wiped the dinosaurs out while still allowing enough life support for very small burrowing mammals.  The majority of these mammals were also wiped out, but as we know, you only need one male and one female to create an entirely massive population.  Yes, my friends, Adam and Eve were rodents.

     I have said this before, but I love saying it, so I will say it again:  Everyone that does not believe in evolution is a total and absolute moron...or they are brainwashed.  Either way, I don't care.  The only people that make me laugh more are the ones that believe that the Earth and dinosaur fossils are no more than 5,000 years old.  Good job guys.  Keep lowering the IQ bar for our future generations.

     We have proven evolution in so many ways that it can no longer even be argued against.  My favorite example is dogs.  Less than 500 years ago, there was one major breed of dog.  The breed?  Wolves.  We domesticated wolves and immediately started breeding different pairs of wolves from different sectors of the planet to make new and interesting breeds.  The breeding was slight for a while but within the past 150 years we have created a staggering amount of breeds of dog.  Dogs have far surpassed the evolutionary level of any other species alive.  Today there are over 800 breeds of dogs.  We have genetically mutated some breeds so far that they are hardly recognizable as dogs anymore.  Yes, ladies and gentlemen, inter-breeding is evolution and on top of that, all of these species' main attributes sharpen and accelerate the more that they are purebred.  Another pure example of evolution in action.

     Cats are my second favorite example.  Nature did this one though.  Cats are so ridiculously adapted to their particular environment and prey that there is no way around it:  they have evolved to be perfect weapons.  If you were to create the perfect predator, you would end up with the cat.  It is well known that every different breed of large cat has different jaw structures.  Those structures are built to wrap around the esophagus of their chosen prey.  Their hunting habits are hard wired into their brain so well that parent cats do absolutely no training for their children.  Kittens of every breed instinctively know how to stalk and hunt, even if they are abandoned early by the parent cat.  The last example for cats is the fact that their bodies have actually evolved by themselves to grow camouflage meant to hide them for their respective environments.

     My third favorite example is us.  There were so many breeds that came before us that were almost us you can no longer say that we were a divine creation.  To say so is to be completely ignorant and ignore every single bit of evidence known to man.  It is finally the time, people, that we have to admit that, even though there may have been a larger god-like force that set the universe into motion, this force most definitely did not blink the Earth into existence and create the human race as we know it.

     We are just lucky.  We were all lucky enough to have had two galactic bodies smash into one another and destroy our predators in order to allow us to evolve.  If you still want to fight the god card and tell everyone around you that science is wrong, then you are probably also the ones that will be standing on top of skyscrapers awaiting the next asteroid to wipe you out...

     ...While the rest of us are surviving underground.

-The Butcher

(( Michael L. Nielsen -- blog.myspace.com/miketheunited ))

7:58 PM - 1 Comments - 1 Kudos - Add Comment

I Hate Huckabee
Category: Religion and Philosophy

     So there is this guy, Ron Huckabee, who is a total douchebag.

     And he is running for President of the United States of America.

     Why is he a douchebag?  For the same reason that many, many Americans are douchebags.  He does not believe in the science of evolution.  What is his argument?  He claims that the evolution from monkeys to humans is completely impossible and ridiculous and he also finds it more likely that humans can de-evolve into monkeys.

     Ok, Huckabee, even though I'd rather just spend the next few moments chuckling at your name and hair, I suppose I can slap you around a bit too.  The science of evolution does not make a plain and basic statement like, "We are evolved monkeys."  No scientist has ever said that we share a direct lineage with monkeys.  As a matter of fact, the majority of them claim that we share more in common, genetically, with cats.  The basis of the science of evolution is that we are all built from the same genetic stepping stones and that there is absolutely no denying that we all started from the same "goo".

     I am also sure that you are one of those people that believes that the Earth is 5,000 years old and that the dinosaur fossils are even younger, or as some radicals believe, that they are fake.

     This man (?) is a GOVERNOR for god's sake (an Arkansas governor, however, which makes it a little easier to handle).  How can you proclaim to be an intelligent leader of this free world and then do absolutely no research into an absolute science?  I don't care about the millions of half-wits that choose to believe in myth over science...

     ...But I absolutely refuse to look up to one as my leader.

-The Butcher.

(( Michael L. Nielsen -- blog.myspace.com/miketheunited ))

4:08 PM - 1 Comments - 1 Kudos - Add Comment

The Disinformation Age
Category: Web, HTML, Tech

     An unbelievably awful musician sells 10,000 copies of his so called album in less than a month.  A 13 year old child gets four million views of his online video about him imitating a light saber flailing jedi.  News stations begin using blogs as sources for their "factual" stories.  The average MySpace user believes that they learn more from their "friends" than they do in school.

     Yes, the internet is a truly awful thing.  What can we possibly do to stop this rampant de-evolution of our children?  What could possibly stop this trainwreck that we call the information age?  Perhaps we could, I don't know, raise our children.

     There is a lot of talk lately about how the internet is going to lead to the mental degradation of our children.  There is even more talk proclaiming that the internet will break down the industries of news and education as we know it.  There are even groups that think online courses taught in college are detrimental and dangerous to our college students.  The majority of the people saying such things are incapable of speaking to their own children, or anyone else for that matter.  The remainder of those with such views are owners of television stations and people involved in newspaper circulatories.

     I was kind of a geek throughout my life, but I always knew that social interaction was more important than the silly nerd games that I was so interested in.  It can be argued that if I had been more involved in the geek side of things, I may have been the next Bill Gates.  What a horrible thing, huh?  I know SO many parents that would hate for their children to grow up to be the CEO of pretty-much-everything-on-the-planet.  But I am not arguing that point, what I am arguing for is a balance between the two.

     Any parent that believes that they should restrict their child's access to technology is doing far more harm than they can even imagine.  The reason the generation before me is losing it's grip on reality is because they never took the time to keep up to date with what my generation was accomplishing.  The irony is thick when you realize that members of their generation are the ones responsible for the explosion of technology to begin with.  I bet the brainless jocks of the '60s are a little upset that the puny nerd in math class is now more capable than they could ever dream of being in several lifetimes.

     The problem is nothing more than narrow-minded thinking.  If your child is overweight, lazy, stupid and sits on his MySpace 24/7 while completely ignoring the world around him/her, than it is YOUR responsibility as a parent to do something about it.  When I was growing up, I used to attend "over-nighters" at my local computer center doing pretty much nothing but being a geek.  I can't think of too many memories in my life that were as great as the time I spent there with my friends.  Yes, I said it - my friends.  You see, those events to me were a way to socialize and be geekified with 20-30 other individuals as geeky as me.  And in between those sessions we were completely normal.  We were outside ALL the time, we exercised ALL the time, we spoke to girls ALL the time.  My god, we even went on dates.  I know, weird, right?  Who would have ever thought that computer geeks could do such things?

     Well, unfortunately, nowadays most of them can't.  My group was different because we did this when the internet was a geek thing.  Perhaps 1% of the nation even knew or experienced it.  There were no pretty pictures or stupid friend finding sites.  Hell, there were no "sites" period.  We were the pioneers and we only thought it was cool because the rest of you did not exist yet.  The world wide web has become an excuse not to live, an excuse to ignore how much life sucks.  We never used the internet for those purposes.  We loved the internet because it was geeky...and, well, that is pretty much it.  We still loved girl chasing and parties WAY more.  We never lost focus on what or who we were.

     And as I pointed out before, if that is happening to your child, friend, spouse, or possibly even you than you need to take a step back and realize that it has nothing to do with the "evil internet".  This behavior is obviously already hard coded into the individual.  Someone needs to slap the shit out of said person and explain what the real world really is.  The entire world should embrace technology and the information age.  All of us should soak in the sunshine that is the "new age" of rapid expansion and technological advances.  Hell, we should even be striving to be a little geeky...

     ...We just need to be doing it in the real world, with our real life friends.

-The Butcher.

(( Michael L. Nielsen -- blog.myspace.com/miketheunited ))

5:58 PM - 1 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment