Gender: Female
Status: In a Relationship
Age: 41
Sign: Leo
City: St Louis Park
State: Minnesota
Country: US
Signup Date:
01/27/06
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Blog Archive
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Saturday, August 16, 2008
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Searching for the samurai who smells of sunflowers
Current mood:  impressed
So now I am knocking on the door of Anime nerd-dom. It's ok, I like it! The Admiral and I got Speed Grapher and watched every episode in like 2 days. It is an amazingly dark story with all the good vs evil, but evil does some (not much) good. Ah, My Goddess made me cry. I just love that Belldandy!!
Right now we are in the midst of Samurai champloo and it's a hoot!
I am off to revel in my nerdness!!
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Currently
watching
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Samurai Champloo, Volume 4 (Episodes 13-16)
Release date: 2005-07-26
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5:03 AM
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9 Comments - 4 Kudos
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Sunday, July 06, 2008
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Butter Luv
Current mood:  blissful
Category: Pets and Animals
I never know what to expect in terms of what pet will be where on my bed when I wake up. I go to sleep the dog is next to me, I wake up, the dog is at my feet and the cat is on my head. Go figure! Well this morning, I opened my eyes and I saw my precious pup pup girl next to the Admiral's feet, on her back in need of a belly scratch. Of course I oblige! Who doesn't love a belly (or hiney scratch!!) I see an errant pillow half on the Admiral's head, creating sort of a lean-to tent, and in the shelter is the Orange Menace, dangerously close to my face. I give him some under chin pets, and he has this blissful look on his face. I go back to sleep. I feel this soft furry touch on my nose, and it's OM, not satisfied with the half-assed petting he just received, but not pissed enough to try to remove my nose with his kitty talons. He easily could have sliced my nose, but he chose not to! Is this a new kinder and gentler Butter Kitty??
We can only hope.
6:52 AM
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5 Comments - 10 Kudos
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Sunday, April 27, 2008
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Tounge Splitting
Current mood:  overstimulated
Category: hot and bothered Goals, Plans, Hopes
The boy and I were watching the National Geographic channel earlier today. They had a segment about lizards
 that shoot blood from their eyes, bees that killed a hornet by moving their bodies so quickly, generating so much heat, they literally baked that hornet.  Then we saw the tongue splitting. Who thinks of these things? I've seen a ton of surgery up close and personal, but this made me cringe for some reason. Of course it bleeds like a mutha, but the end result was rather titillating! They guy started waggling that tongue (once healed of course), each half indepentant of the other  I thought how cool is that!! Especially "downtown" oh hell yeah! I bet that dude has no problem whatsoever gettin' a date. It's gotta be for the oral sex factor I can't imagine why else anyone would get that done, but my mind is often in the gutter. Now I am all curious and have to find someone that has actually experienced both sides of this magical tongue thing and pick their brain.
I wonder if I can talk the Admiral into getting it done...
11:34 AM
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23 Comments - 14 Kudos
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Thursday, April 24, 2008
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Fun Bags
Current mood:  crushed
Category: amused Life
At the dinner table the other night the Orange Menace jumped on the table in his usual fashion, trying to steal the bread or rolls or whatever carbohydrate is available to his twisted ass; I scold him (like THAT works) and hold hin close to my chest, where he will get comfortable and stay. I call it the "shelf, " as in the shelf of my boobs. My son asked, "Mommy why does the kitty always want to lay on you?" to which the Admiral replied, "Cause your mom has pillows."
"Pillows?" Then he gestured toward my chest and they both erupted in hearty chortles. Hardy har fucking har. I said something about that to the Admiral, and he told me "Well I could have said fun bags." Ok, we have a good chuckle over that.
Fast forward to dinner tonight, cat jumps on table, I pick him up, and he snuggles up in his spot on the "shelf." My son giggles and says "Pillows!" The Admiral says "They're also known as fun bags" and they both are literally on the floor splitting a gut with laughter. So all night, on the way to and from Cub scouts it was "funbags this" and "funbags that." Hardy har fucking har.
Should I try to figure a tactful way to tell him that boys have "bags" too, but they aren't as much fun? Could give new meaning to mash the bag!
8:45 PM
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8 Comments - 12 Kudos
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Ode to Jim!
Current mood:  bouncy
Category: Friends
Jimmy a/k/a Flaming Moe!
I've been on da Space here for a while and fuck if I can remember where I ran into Jimmy! I know it's been a loooong time, and not just by those instant gratification standards where a month is equal to 2 years in real time.
His birthday was recently and I wanted to get this blog out for that event, but alas, didn't happen. Sorry d00d! I hope you had a soooooper bday!
This kid (I am old enough to be his hot milf-y mom, so I can call him a kid) is amazing. He is thoughtful, sweet, sensitive and darn cute if I say so myself. He has the sweetest blog comments for all of his friends, better than that he reads his friend's blogs! He offers hugs and sympathy when needed and is just an all around nice guy. I am trying to lure him to Minnesota so he can be my gamin buddy/bitch/brownie maker and hang out. He is the type of guy you can just comfortably chill with. I totally heart my friend Jimmy and I hope he finds a woman soon. A woman worth of his kindness that won't fuck him over. (That counts me out, har har) Seriously tho, he would do well with a nice sweet nerdy girl that can appreciate his interests and compliment them with her own style and spin on things. The ability to suck a baseball through a garden hose wouldn't hurt either.
Wooooooooooo Jimmy!!!
7:20 PM
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14 Comments - 12 Kudos
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Saturday, April 19, 2008
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Chillin’ Kitties
Current mood:  amused
Category: Pets and Animals
The Orange Menace jumped on me today and he felt cold. I figured he was by an open window and went back to Myspacing or Facebooking or whatever I was doing that was entirely unproductive. A little while later I heard noises in the kitchen and then I heard a fan. It wasn't the exhaust fan, what the hell was that noise? I went to the kitchen only to find the cat had opened the freezer and was sitting on the ledge, with the door wide open. Just sitting there like no big deal. I have got to start taking pictures of this insane animal in action.
Butterscotch, the chillaxin kitty!
7:02 PM
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11 Comments - 11 Kudos
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Sunday, April 13, 2008
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The Admiral and AAA save the day
Current mood: blissful
Category: Jobs, Work, Careers
As you all may know, I get to teach the very fun, very cool, very important cardio-pulmonary resuscitation! I had to travel to one of our housing sites in the Northeast Metro, quite a haul from our South Minneapolis base, especially in rush hour traffic. I had to be there by 5pm after working a full day. As I am driving there, I notice, "Oh crap, my cell phone is dead. " Next, I notice the battery light is on in the van and the voltage gauge is rapidly approaching the red. Hmm, that can't be good! To top it off, I forgot where the place was. I pulled into a gas station with a bank, left the van running and pleaded for a phone (they had cookies!!!) I called and told my students I was on my way, I wasn't that lost. (Small fib)
I get there and as I pull in the parking lot, the van dies. Well, nothing I can do about it now! Time to teach!
I get up to the "classroom" which is hallway sitting area with the chairs pushed to the side. It will work! I'll make it work, damn it!
"We can plug the TV/DVD over here right?" I ask.
"Oh! That's right! I knew about that! We have to go find the TV."
and one of my students is off searching for the TV. I get all the dummies, ambu bags, knee pads set up when my student returns and announces that the TV is available, but the DVD player is MIA. I am thinking fast-I can teach the class from memory and the lesson book, but is that legal? The student (and his lovely wife) suggest we use their apartment on the first floor with the 50 inch TV! Ooooh YA! So we gather all the dummies and equipment and head to the first floor to their apartment, there are 7 of us, it's a bit of a squeeze, but it's ok! We'll make it work! We laughed so much and had a great time, everybody did well, passed their tests, passed their skills test. Super! Time to head home! Oh ya! My battery is dead in the van! The student that allowed us to use their apartment gave me a jump, the engine turned over, ran and died, the battery wasn't recharging. So I call AAA at 9pm and they said a tow truck would be there within the hour! YAY! The student and his wife insisted that I wait in their place. (They are so nice!) AAA calls back, the driver is delayed, it will be another hour. It's almost 11PM by now and I fear my host and hostess are getting ready for bed soon. Finally at 11:15 AAA is there, all apologies. I profusely thanked my students for their hospitality and go to hop in the tow truck. There is a giant tire in the front seat. "Oh, sorry Ma'am, I just changed a tire, is it ok if we put that in your van?" If I want a place to sit, I guess it's ok. So we are off to Minneapolis from Maplewood. "Do you mind if we make a stop, I have to change a tire" Like I have a choice? I haven't eaten since lunch, I am all sweaty and grungy from teaching the class (I really get into it) and I am tired. "Well since you said Ma'am, how can I say no!" I was hoping for a driver closer to my age that would give me a cigarette, cause I was in need of one, badly. (I was so realy to fall off the wagon!) Instead I got a barely legal military boy who keeps calling me Ma'am! We stop at the flat tire person and they guy had the tire off so it didn't take that long.
We make it to the repair shop in Minneapolis. I have to shlep 2 giant suitcases full of CPR crap, all my lunch Tupperware from the week and 2 friendship bread starters (I could only find 1 sucker, so I was stuck with 2) 3 city blocks in the cold wind and snow and I am back at work! YAY!!!!!! It's nearly 1am, I called the Admiral and he said he'd be there
as soon as he remembered how to get where I work (he's only been here 3 times)
My hero arrived about 20 minutes later and I am finally on my way home to food and a bed and dry clothes.
Admiral sniffs. "What's that smell? It smells like booze."
The lid blew off the friendship bread starter and was all over the inside of the bag.
"I hope we don't get pulled over." How much would that suck? No, thank God we didn't get pulled over, but that would make for a hell of an irony.
Anyhoo! I made it home virtually unscathed to a nummy chewy (kept warm since 9pm) meal and hot shower. The Admiral and AAA saved the day!!
10:33 AM
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4 Comments - 6 Kudos
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Tuesday, April 08, 2008
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Amish Friendship Bread
Current mood:  curious
Category: Amish Friends
I was in the Human resources office the other day (NO! Iwasn’t in trouble-this time) and the gals back there were noshing on this really good bread! It was super YUM! I asked Mary for the recipe and she said me, "someone has to give you a starter, and it takes 10 days to make..." I stopped listening at that point. I decided I would just eat theirs!
The next week this plastic container of only-gawd-knows-what appeared on my desk. It looked like a rotten health shake, and I was about to pitch it in the trash and chalk it up to an April fool’s joke when Laurie my co-worker says, "Oh! That’s a friendship bread starter!" I figured if I didn’t make the bread, I’d have some Amish curse to deal with, so I brought it home with the directions that came with it.
"Do not use any type of metal bowl or spoon for mixing" OOh! How Amish! why would they have metal bowls, I bet they make their own bowls! Actually it’s because the batter will corrode metal.
"Do not refrigerate" makes sense, Amish aren’t into electricity. I am envisioning humble Amish womenfolk making this bread to take to their neighbors, before the barn raising. I was envious of their uncomplicated lives without cars. I was really caught up in this Amish fantasy!
"If air gets in the bag, let it out" mine was in a twist top plastic container.
"It is normal for the batter to rise and ferment" Ah! That’s why it stinks!
"In the bag is 1 cup of live yeast starter" It still smells like crap.
Day 1- Do nothing with the starter. I can do this!
Day 2-Mash the bag
Day 3-Mash the bag
Day 4-Mash the bag
Day 5-Mash the bag
Day 6-Add 1 cup flour, 1 cup sugar and 1 cup milk and (you guessed it!) Mash the bag.
Day 7- Mash the bag. I noticed the plastic container was bulging, so I figured it was time to put it in a larger container. I twisted the lid and it exploded all over my cabinets, walls and good pans the Admiral gave me! The first thing that flashed into my mind was this corrosive material melting my metal pans like hydrochloric acid. After the panic, I saw that was not the case but I sure had a stinky mess to clean up!
Day 8-Mash the bag
Day 9-Mash the bag
Day 10- FINALLY I can bake this stuff! I follow the directions vary carefully, bagged up 3 starters for 3 sucker, er, friends, mixed all the stuff in a non metal bowl. I am amazed how much sugar is in this! 4 cups, it seemed like a lot. It should be called Amish Tooth Rot Bread. You even dust the pans with cinnamon sugar! One of the ingredients made me question the authenticity of this recipe was a box of instant vanilla pudding. Doesn’t sound like typical Amish fare to me~! So now I wait for an hour while it bakes. I have to say it smells soooo good, I know I am making my neighbor’s jealous!
At long last! It’s done and it’s damn good!! I am amazed something so delicious can come from something so malodorous and vile! Anybody want a starter??
9:49 PM
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17 Comments - 14 Kudos
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Friday, March 21, 2008
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The Menace and I Have a Moment
Current mood: blissful
Category: Pets and Animals
The Orange Menace lives up to his name on a regular basis. He knocks over the trash, he eats through the plastic wrap on the bread, and bats it on the floor for him and the dog to enjoy. He even got the snap lid off the rice crispie treats and nibbled on them. He has stolen food-right off my fork. Rare is it he isn’t biting, chasing, attacking or harassing one of us (dog included.)
We had a moment this morning.
Part of his routine when I get up to go to the bathroom is he flies in, jumps in the sink and wants me to turn the water on. The he jumps in the tub and chases his tail. This is very entertaining for me. What a pretty picture that must be, me on the hopper laughing my ass of at this psycho cat. Today, he jumped on me and rested on the "shelf" of boobs and just sat there and purred. He didn’t bite my chin fat, he didn’t attack my fingers. He just sat there and purred. Bliss!! This is why I got a cat in the first place!!! Nevermind he chooses to be sweet with my pants around my ankles on the toilet. Of course I dare not move, this being such a rare occurance! It made me think of that poor woman in Kansas that didn’t leave the bathroom for 2 years and her skin was growing around the toilet seat.
I didn’t care, let my hemorrhoids flare up, that cat was being nice!!!
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Currently
reading
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Hello Kitty's Guide to Everything Nice
Release date: 2004
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4:41 AM
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9 Comments - 14 Kudos
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Monday, March 17, 2008
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Help a sister out
Current mood:  hungry
Category: Food and Restaurants
I have come to realize I have a cookie addiction. Ok, I am not quite blue and furry shoving cookies in my mouth, but I am about one step away from that kind of frenzied cookie consumption. I knew yesterday, while driving to the "spot" to pick up 7 MORE boxes of Girl Scout cookies-in my pajamas, at 3 in the afternoon. This, after I baked the Nieman Marcus Urban Legend Cookie Recipe that yields 112 cookies. I wonder if they’ll make some sort of oatmeal gum or peanut butter patch for folks in my predicament? Can ya help a sister out? Soon? Before none of my clothes fit!
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Currently
watching
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Sesame Street - Cookie Monster's Best Bites
Release date: 27 January, 2004
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4:51 PM
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12 Comments - 10 Kudos
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