Thanks. No, really
Category: Art and Photography

Okay, here's the problem with thank you notes: how many ways are there to say thank you? I mean, really. How many ways can you really think of to say "thank you". You can't just write thank you on a thank you note. That's like saying, I didn't have time to write a better note to you so I'm just copying what the card said. So you have to write something and it invariably ends up being the same thing over and over again. Which is why I seldom write thank you cards. They just drive me batty when I can't think of anything new to write. Ugh. Why must cards be sent out?

On the upside of this I made a spiffy new set of thank you cards (with Sad Girls on them no less) that I think I'll actually turn into REAL cards, like printed with color and everything cards. Exciting, no? Well I think it is anyway.

And what's the moral of this story? People should be over the moon thrilled if they ever get a thank you card from me because it probably took me ten times longer to write it than it takes to read it. That's a lot of effort for one little piece of paper. But seriously, I mean thank you, I just can't write it. And the irony just keeps on coming.

I actually took a moment to write the other day. It was kind of pleasant but at the same time I come away disatisfied. I didn't really turn out the way I was hoping. Everything sounds so grand in my head but by the time it pops up on the computer screen the quality has been severely degraded. Which is a fancy way of saying it came out sounding not unlike shite. Oh well. I'll try and get a bit more practice in now that I have oodles of spare time.

I also picked up my handy dandy Artist's/Graphic Designer's Market from the bookstore the other day. I have since been flipping through the near endless listings of galleries and magazines all prepared to scoff at and reject my portfolio! Very exciting. But, no, I actually did find a few things of interest. It also brought back fond memories of college, what with all the highlighting and all. Okay that's a little bit of a lie. I rarely highlighted anything. I didn't want to ruin my books and most importantly reduce their resale value! Heavens no. But, mostly it just pained me to sully the pretty book pages that way. Irony again. I must be having an ironic day.

I suppose I should get back to those thank you cards now. But seriously, I don't do thankful very well. It's not that I'm NOT thankful. It's that it sounds ridiculous when I try and write it. So less thankful and more dry it is then. Come on, people. Just be glad I wrote you a card in the first place. Honestly.

4:57 AM - 2 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

People are not made out of butter
Category: Art and Photography

Okay, I've been dying to use that for a blog title for the last three days. Cracks me up. Seriously. Granted it's got nothing to do with anything but it still cracks me up. Anyway, I'm calling this an "art" blog but it's not really. I'm actually (insert gasp here) in the mood to write tonight. So that is what I intend to do. Right after I finish making dinner. And writing my blog. And probably another twenty things that will conspire to keep me from starting until about midnight. And I wonder why I'm tired all the time. Oh well. Perhaps I'll employ the power of tea to see me through this difficult time. Or not.

Anyway, things are still pretty much at a standstill. I did an illustration last night and cracked myself up. It didn't turn out quite how I'd like it but close enough I suppose. I got the gist. I might just try drawing it again sometime in the not too distant future. I also tried to look up the guidelines for submitting an illustration portfolio, or places to submit said portfolio. I found a whole lot of nothing. I tried searching a couple of different ways too. The most I found was two or three magazines that I might be able to submit some pictures too. It's not real "illustration" work. More like submit photos of work that you've already done and maybe we'll publish them in our magazine, blah blah blah. But it's a start right? I still have to go out and buy the Illustrator's Market or whatever it's called. There's the Writer's Market. The Children's Writer's Market (which also covers illustration for said writing). There's one for poets, one for illustration and graphic design. There's a separate book for every possible version of writing and illustration. Surely one of them must have something for me. I hope.

I guess this is my week for hardcore research and such. The task is more than a little daunting.

As a side note, my solo show up at 716 is ending after this weekend. I do declare, I'm a little sad. It seems like it went so fast. Real fast. Go Speed Racer go, fast. This is where the aimlessness really sets in. What do I do now?

In this case, I suppose that I write. I'm in the mood. I've got nothing else going on right now. So I'm free. Hurrah. Sort of. I would really rather paint right now. Maybe I'll work on that too. Maybe I'll go back and forth. Maybe I'll just take a week off and write then paint. Who knows? Might as well try and enjoy the aimless wandering thing though. Because honestly, what else do I have to do?

Currently listening : In the Reins By Iron & Wine Release date: 2005-09-13

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Posers and Crocodiles
Category: Art and Photography

I almost forgot in my extreme haste (or lack thereof) this week to mention that my latest appearance on Expose Kenosha was this week. How silly of me. I am a little scatterbrained lately of course. That must be it. But I'm on there again. Hurrah. I thought it was quite the nice interview if I do say so myself. And of course I had nothing to do with it. So thank you to Rick for making me sound good. ( :  I love when people do that. Especially since I'm hardly eloquent on my own. I'm working on it though.

Other than that I'm pretty low on news. Water show entry done. Nothing new to report. How sad is that? Am I in danger of becoming boring? Or more boring anyway. Let us hope not. I can't very well subject people to that sort of thing. My reputation would be ruined. Assuming I have one of those as well. I should ask someone. Perhaps I do. Of course, judging by how things have been going lately, I'm not sure that my reputation is a good one to begin with. But maybe that's just me. I tend to misread things. Apparently being observant is not one of the many services I offer. Rather ironic isn't that?

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Okay so I cheaped out
Category: Art and Photography

Well, not really. I did a Sad Girl for the Water show but I think she turned out a lot better than my five attempts at another idea did. I only have so much dignity here. So Sad Girl is going to the Water show. It sounds a little like a movie. Possibly with Annette Funicello. Is that how you spell her name?

Anyway I got it done and in record time. I drew it one day and painted it the next. I swear it's the power of the Arches paper. Or maybe it's just the fact that I know how that paper works. I tried some Winsor and Newton. Loved the feel of it. Hated the way the paint soaked in. It was awful. Seriously. So I got more Arches and all is right in my world again. And of course now there is one more Sad Girl in the world. I'll hope that's a good thing. I also have one little stray SG. I think I'll list her on my Etsy shop for a reduced price seeing as how she's unframed and unmatted. She is just a lonely sheet of paper. How sad.

Of course now I'm back to having nothing to do. Nothing at all. So plan A) involves getting my illustration portfolio together. Plan B) involves getting all my photos together and trying to parlay that into another solo show or a juried show. Or a group show of some sort. We'll leave that bit open. Plan C) also involves getting all my photos together as well. In this case though I would be getting my files in order to get prints or greeting cards made. I'm not too sure about that one just yet though. I don't like the idea of people buying, or having bought, pictures that were original at the time and then having prints of them wandering around after the fact. Seems dishonest somehow. Either way I have A, B, or C to decide about. Or perhaps I'll get all the way to Q before I finally stop making up plans. I am big with the plans, less so with the actual doing. But there's still time to decide which I plan to do.

Now I think I'll sit back and twiddle my thumbs and read Atlas Shrugged. I'm still a pitiful 44 pages into it. That's just sad. It also means the book is painfully unbalanced and gets pretty heavy. I'll be happier when I'm nearing page 400. Onward!

3:38 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Things are weird all over
Category: Art and Photography

Now that the weather has turned permanently rainy I'm finally ready to work on my piece for the Water show. It's strange how things work out that way, isn't it? Is it the weather or the fact that I have next to no time left to finish it? Probably a little of both.

The prospective piece is actually along the same lines as something I started on Wednesday. So I guess we'll see how it works out for me. I'm a little uneasy but that tends to be a good sign. If I'm worried about screwing something up that means it has the potential to be pretty good. Either that or I've just gotten an inflated head, what with all this adoration I've been getting lately. Yes, that would be sarcasm. Thanks so much for asking.

Anyway, this is another along the line of the ink and acrylic illustration sort of style. This time I'm going for a slightly more "fine art" angle though so that's probably where the worry comes from. I haven't really gone at it that way yet. I expect to screw up at least one thing in the process but as long as it's largely good I'll be satisfied. And besides, maybe I'll get lucky and any screw ups will improve the overall look. Right? Right. I'm glad you're coming with me on this. Now if only I could figure out how to make grey ink when I've only got black on hand. I don't think I want to try dipping my pens into watered down black ink. It would probably rust them. I hate when that happens.

I think my mood is off a little from my best painting mood unfortunately but I'll work with what I've got. For those not in the know, I tend to do my best work when I'm upset about something. Of course that largely applies to paintings when I can slap the paint around. I have yet to figure out what my best illo (as in illustration) mood is. But right now I'm pretty calm. Contemplative but calm. Okay a little impatient but calm. So maybe all hope is not lost. Maybe I can work up some paranoia to throw into the mix. Or maybe that's not such a great idea. I do still need to get some sleep tonight. Paranoia would probably keep me up all night. Maybe just a bit of excess cynicism then. I could watch a romantic comedy. That would probably do the trick. I kill me.

And finally I'll conclude my pondering with this: am I getting weirder or is everyone else weirding out around me? I'm obviously inclined to think that I'm the weird one but I could be wrong. It just seems like things are getting pretty odd around me lately. Maybe I just need to paint more. That seems to keep me pretty normal. Except to all those people who think I'm home doing nothing all day because I'm a painter. That's insanely irritating. Because you know all those paintings are up on the gallery wall because the painting elves came and finished them for me. Honest. I've been sitting here the whole time reading Ayn Rand. Which reminds me, I should actually read that before it gets any longer. After I finish the Water piece. Okay, enough ranting. I'm off to rustle up some painting elves to do all my work for me.

Currently reading : Atlas Shrugged: 35th Anniversary Edition By Ayn Rand

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The horoscope has spoken
Category: Art and Photography

I've been pondering. And thinking. And even doing a little ruminating. I've also been in a painfully bad mood. Being in a bad mood wouldn't normally bother me but I can't quite put my finger on WHY I'm in such a crap mood. I at least like to know why I'm feeling pissy. It could perhaps have something to do with the fact that I'm tired. Or any number of other things. Or all of them. Or none of them. I'm still feeling a little hamster-y. Could be the two packs of sweet tarts that I ate this evening. Damn candy jar. I never eat candy so I believe I'm hopped up on sugar. Just a little. I'm finally winding down. Finally.

I think I have pinpointed a little bit of why I'm all flustered so I should be thrilled. Of course it doesn't make me feel much better. And why? Because I'm left with a big fat question mark. The question is: do I keep doing what I'm doing or do I try something new? Again. The big scary new things. I hate big scary new things. Well, correction, I hate some big scary new things and I'm pretty sure that this is one of those things. Of course. It would just be too simple if it wasn't. So what do I do? What to do? What to do?

I'm really more of a sit and wait sort of girl so it's pretty hard to make a definite decision either way. Of course not making a decision is the same thing as deciding to do nothing. So I have a little Catch 22 there just to make things interesting.

And I wonder why my head is all a-flutter.

Of course my horoscope has had some excellent advice as usual. Thank you, myspace. I hate when horoscopes actually seem to pertain to things that are going on. It's just weird and creepy. It also makes me think that there might be some small truth to them. How horrible for me if they do. According to astrology, I'm supposed to be a boring homebody. Okay, so I kind of am but I try not to be too happy about it. What kind of painter stays home all the time? It's just not done. I would never get anything done.

Either way I guess it's time for me and me to have a little talk. Then come the decisions. I hope I know what I'm doing.

Currently listening : @%&*! Smilers By Aimee Mann Release date: 2008-06-03

8:15 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Sitting in the middle, waiting to get run over
Category: Art and Photography

No, I'm not literally waiting to get run over. But I'm pretty darn close. Work for the show is all done. I have no new ideas. I don't feel like writing (unless you count blogs). So what the hell do I do now? I'm quite disinclined to do anything at all right now. I really am. But that would be less than helpful. I need to do things. I need to work. I need to get things done. If I don't well then I might as well cease to exist because everything's going to pass me right by. I can already feel time starting to slip away from me. But I just can't bring myself to do anything.

So. Am I resting? Am I recharging? Or am I just being lazy and pointless? I would obviously prefer the former. The former former. But I can't honestly say that that's true. I just don't know what to do with myself. It's worse than before. There were still little things to do here and there. Now there is nothing. I can't bring myself to even doodle. So what the hell is wrong with me? Maybe I really did use up all my creative juice for the year. Or maybe I'm doing another "style shift" (though god I hope not. I don't know if I can take another one)

I need to do things. Need to get my portfolio out. Somewhere. Am I an illustrator? Am I a painter? Am I an opportunist? What am I doing? Where do I go now? I just don't know.

This would be so much easier to take if it were just a crisis of confidence. But I'm over that for now. I can do the work. I've seen myself do the work. Hell, I've even seen myself sell the work. But what is the work that I'm supposed to be doing now? More of the same? Am I tired of doing those things already? I might almost hope that this is some form of self sabotage. I've dealt with that before too. Hell, I think I've dealt with this void before too but I can't rightly remember. I'm sure I probably have. But this one is just tricky. How do you dig yourself out of a hole when you don't even know which end is up?

What is it about not working that makes me so jumpy?  I used to enjoy having nothing to do. Now I just flip out. I feel transparent already.

9:42 AM - 1 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

Everything’s quiet underwater
Category: Art and Photography

So still no ideas for the water show. And myspace is being really really weird. I will just ignore it for the time being. Myspace has been known to weird out on me. Quite frequently actually. Anyway, I'm still musing on the show of water. Seriously. It shouldn't be this hard. I've had plenty of joke ideas, some of them offered to me of course. But no serious ones yet. Oh well. I'll have an epiphany any day now. Then I can freak out, scramble, and get it done at the last minute. Then I will sit back and wonder what I was freaking out about in first place. Such is my life.

My solo show reception was yesterday. It went quite well. Apparently I'm up to five pieces sold. Hurrah. But it kind of weirds me out when people I know buy things from me. I feel like I should give them a discount or something. Maybe that's just me. I would be a horrible business owner obviously. Or maybe I would be everyone's favorite shopkeeper. Probably a little bit of both. I would be well liked but broke. So sort of like how I am now. I may be mistaken about the well liked part though. We will leave that to others to decide. Either way suffice it to say that I have no head for business. And that a lot of things weird me out.

That being said, the reception went well and I am SO glad it's over. It was fun but tiring. I didn't have a huge turnout (not that I'm complaining) but it wore me out all the same. I was ready to go to bed when I got home. Of course I didn't go to bed. That just wouldn't be me. I had things to do. But I gave sleep a very serious consideration. I also found out afterwards that apparently I sound like I know what I'm talking about. Go figure. I didn't know that I knew what I was talking about. I guess that's a good thing though. No one wants to buy a painting from someone who doesn't know their stuff. So confidence is probably a good thing there. Now if only I could muster a little the rest of the time.

But this has been a busy weekend all 'round and not really a great one for my health. I semi-twisted my ankle (does it count as a twisting if it doesn't actually twist around?) on Friday and today I have a cold. Yay me. Obviously my immune system is taking a beating right about now. I hate having a cold. It's just enough to make me feel like crap but not enough for me to really say "I'm sick." Plus I almost blew out an eye earlier while I was blowing my nose. Isn't that a nice visual?

And now I should be sleeping (because I say that all the time too) but I'm not. Just got back a bit ago from seeing Guys & Dolls (Racine Theater Guild of course). It was very good. I didn't really know too much about it beforehand but I enjoyed myself muchly all the same. Plus three (or maybe four I didn't really get all the details) of my paintings/drawings will be going to cast members. How can you beat quality like that?

I think that's all I've got for now. Apparently a lot has happened the last few days. Who knew?

9:25 PM - 2 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment

The clock is ticking
Category: Art and Photography

Tick tock tick tock. Almost time for my reception. The show is hung and prettified and I have the sneaking suspicion that I've overlooked something very important. Wouldn't that just figure? I would be completely unsurprised as I tend to think of things right before I fall asleep. Obviously not the best time to be making notes on things to do in the morning. Oh well. If I've forgotten anything critical I'll be sure to freak out about it later when I remember. What's life without a little drama?

Otherwise things are still pretty relaxed and quiet and okay I'm lying because I still have one extra piece to have done for next week. Who knew that water was such a hard theme? I'm a water sign. You'd think I would be on top of this. I'm also making an incredible number of typos. I think my nails are too long. But obviously that has nothing to do with a water theme either. Can you tell I'm feeling a little out of sorts? So many things to do. I just don't know what they are.

Anyway I think all of my flighty tendencies center around this weekend. I am SO very much not social. I try. I really do. But I'm just not. The very thought is enough to send me into a panic. But hey I'm getting interviewed on Saturday too. How cool is that? So I guess I shall be on exposekenosha.com again. Shall we send up a cheer? I'll need to work up some eloquence. Eloquence in a can. I wonder if it would taste of tin?

Currently watching : Curse of the Golden Flower Release date: 2007-03-27

4:05 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Postcards, postcards, who’s got the postcards
Category: Art and Photography

I do. I've got my show postcards now but I have yet to figure out how to load them on myspace. What can I say? I'm no myspace genius.

Anyway, I'm on vacation. I've hung up my little sign and I'm not doing anything that I don't feel like doing for the next week. Ain't life grand? So it should be fun. Or maybe not and I'll just be annoyed with the whole thing in two days.

Currently watching : Super Size Me Release date: 2004-09-28

6:48 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

It’s alive! ALIVE!
Category: Art and Photography

If you had asked me two weeks ago what I had for my show, undoubtedly I would have answered that I had just about nothing. Apparently that was not so. My show seems to have taken on a life of its own.

First I took two to get framed. Then I took three more. Then I had one or two more. By the time I left the house it had morphed into six. That is a lot of stuff. Plus I've got three or four paintings. By the time it finally gets hung I might have six paintings. Or ten. Who knows?

The weird thing here is that I haven't DONE much work. Okay not entirely true. I had a burst of productivity and did four brand new drawings in the last week. How weird is that? I mean, honestly. My show is at least 3/4 new work. Brand new. As in I just finished it last week new. New ink smell and everything. This also means that I'm having a super productive year because this is more work than I've done since EVER. And it's only May. Does that mean I'm getting better or that I've just used up my creativity allotment for the year? Let's hope for the former.

I don't know what I'll do with myself for the rest of the year now. With all of these drawings (and the smattering of paintings) I really don't have room for anything else. I guess I have to wait and see if anything sells before I go making all kinds of new work. As if that would actually be a problem. ( :  Knowing me and my ornery brain I'll probably be lucky to get three more pieces done all year.

I should of course be gearing up for the fun that is the reception. But I don't want to. I would prefer to ignore that fact for as long as possible, honestly. Once again, I am not much of a mingler. I'm much more like a hermit. What can I say? I have no social graces. Never learned them. Don't think I'll be learning any anytime soon. So in the absence of said skills I would just prefer to keep my "socializing" to a minimum. Most of the time. At least when it comes to the mingling thing. It's a little bit less of a deal when it's people that I know. Of course even then I'm a pretty bad public person.

Maybe they should offer classes for social skills. Wouldn't that be great? Or maybe they do and it's called "public speaking". Man, I hate those classes. Though because of them I know a frightening amount about pigeon racing. Apparently I forgot the public speaking parts of the class though. Oops.

Currently listening : Rockferry By Duffy Release date: 2008-05-13

9:32 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

I hate deadlines
Category: Art and Photography

My entire solo show is done (huzzah!) so now what? I've been wandering around all afternoon trying to figure that out. I thought about doing a few more drawings that I had random ideas for. Then I thought, well hey, my show is done. I can write. But no. I have some paper to cut into useable pieces (for more drawings). I almost cut them up. But no. I was going to draw the Minotaur (mostly for my own amusement). But no. I can't decide on a drawing. I don't know if I should really do anymore work right now with my show coming up. I don't know what I'll do with them in the meantime. I'm not feeling really writerly right now so I can't really gear up to write. Plus I still have some wrap up for my show (nothing actually production related though). So I'm in this middle ground no man's land and I just can't settle on anything in particular. This is of course the problem with deadlines. I've spent the last five or six MONTHS working on things for my show. Or thinking about things for my show. And now it's pretty much done. So what do I do now? All of my deadline pressure is gone. This sucks. Seriously.

Of course I'm a do-everything-at-the-last-minute sort of gal so it's amazing that I actually finished with a week or so to spare. Now there's just framing to see to. For more than half of my show. Still not procrastinating! Honest.

Either way, nothing good can come of this. What am I going to do with myself for the next two weeks? I'm already driving myself (and everyone else) crazy. I spent a lot of time pacing and moving things around today. Maybe I should take up running again. Or just spend my extra time eating. I think I've shrunk from all the stress. So many choices. For the moment anyway. In two weeks, I'll be back to feeling like I have no time. And complaining about that. I should probably stop that.

I think I've worn myself out from all my pacing today though. Maybe I'll just go to bed early. That's a good start, right?

9:01 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Creepy and weird (no, not Charlie and the Chocolate Factory)

Here's my horoscope for the day, c/o myspace anyway. Those horoscopes from Cosmo are rarely ever right. ( :

Monday, May 12, 2008

Cancer (Jun 21 - Jul 22)

You may be more outgoing as jolly Jupiter harmonizes with the Sun today. It's easy to appear happy when others are encouraging you, yet you still might have a more serious undertone to what you do. Your intuitive understanding of what's happening can make you seem lucky, but anything that falls into your lap now has probably been hard-earned. Continue to aim high and don't be afraid of taking a risk.

Anyway, it's creepy how right they can be sometimes. So a-aiming high I will go. Back to work for me. I'm about three pieces away from finishing my show. Hurrah. Or finishing my part anyway. Must speeeeeeeeeeeeeeed.

1:09 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment