Its Been Three Years

I can't believe it's been three years today since you left us for good.  The month of May now runs the gamut of emotions from joyous of reflections - the month LG was born, and now what has become your parting - three years. 

I was never prepared for this day when it happened.  As much as you would drive me nuts and push my buttons, I can't explain the feelings that engulfed me that day - well it actually began the day before, when I got that call saying that you were headed to the hospital.  I still remember stopping by the night prior to bring Liss her new stereo she had just gotten for her birthday, and how I saw you looking run down, how at least I got to speak to you one last time.  I wish I knew it would have been the last time. 

Then the night before you left I went to see you , still cynical from what I heard, thinking it was another attention episode.  Then poetic and cruel irony and a sick twist of fate playing out before me.  I could not believe what I saw.  It was something I never dreamed in any nightmare, and I thought of all the times I told you to "Shut Up" I would take them all back if you could have said anything.  You spoke to me in your own way, and it was Liss that got you to hang around til the next day.  Every time I mentioned that little girl's name, you responded.  I placed her picture in your hands and you held on to it with all the strength you had.  I still remember when we got the news, and how telling her was the hardest - and to this day the hardest thing I ever had to do.  She was so much braver than I.  I was a hysterical mess, and she - at 9 wise beyond her years, was consoling me.  There will never be another day like this for her I pray, but that little girl taught me that day what strenth was, and I draw on it whenever I feel down - she is my Hero,

Oh, you have to see her now...Beautiful little girl that she is.  Straight A's, made the cheerleading squad at school.  Made All American Honors again - second year in a row.  She asks about you, and is becoming more inquisitive.  And she has some of your traits, albeit most of them the good ones - she has those big beautiful eyes, she instant messages the way you would spend hours on the phone.  She's very loyal, she's a GREAT student, and a great little girl.  And yup, now she's into the boy crazy stage.  There are times she gets that soft voice just like you had, and tilts her head and gives that sideways look you do - I swear at times you are still here.  And yes, she inherited your temper - wow she is a straight A brooder at times too.  She's the apple of my eye, and I'm sure she is to you too wherever you are.  Well, just thought I'd check in to say hey.  Was just reflecting on the day, and just wanted to let you know we were thinking about you. Rest in peace.

7:56 PM - 3 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

This is for a VERY good friend

Seldom in life do we get to experience the highest of highs and the lowest of lows within mere days of each other's occurence.  This week a very dear friend of mine experienced that - and as happy as I was earlier - I am grieving with him now albeit a distance away - but Brother you and your family are in my prayers. 

I'm keeping the name private to respect him at this time - those who know me know who I am speaking of.  The week started with the most incredible natural highs as the best miracle known to Man (and Woman) - the birth of a new life - healthy and wonderful - as a witness to this myself twice, I can honestly say there is nothing like it in the world - knowing that you helped (I say helped because it's the woman who should get all the credit and then a lot more) bring a being into this world, and the daunting task of  parenting responsibly a child for the rest of their life.  There is truly no greater gift in the world, one that is and should be cherished. 

 But as this euphoria is just hitting the crescendo - life takes - yes takes - in this case is taken away - forever.  The person who gave you life, and brought you into this world, your "Hero" and best friend is taken away - and the rush that you felt is wisked away as you have to gather your thoughts and try to be strong.  Having seen my daughter lose her mother at a terribly young age, and to see her still hurt just a few years later - it is still something I can not comprehend.  One thing I will never forget is how after losing touch with my good friend over a period of time, he was one of the few friends who took the time out of his day to show support for my child at that emotionally trying time. 

 I am very lucky that I have my parents alive* so I can neither fathom nor appreciate the pain that is going through my Buddy's heart and soul right now.  Maybe the best way is to look into the eyes that are yours and were His, and find your strength and happiness there.  God bless you Buddy!

7:52 PM - 3 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment