Solid Ground
Current mood: Just thinking out loud
Category: Just thinking out loud Writing and Poetry

There is no such thing as solid ground
as the earth moves
and shifts and trembles
beneath us

Invisible fault lines slip,
jarring our stability
knocking us off-balance
throwing us to our knees

Carefully, so carefully,
we place our feet just so
wary of precarious rocks
and slippery slopes
taking baby steps
trying to regain our balance
in a world warped
and fractured
from the inside out


(c) Melanie Turner 8/30/08

3:50 AM - 9 Comments - 16 Kudos - Add Comment

So, I’m finally back ...
Category: Life

after over a month, I finally have my laptop back. The hard drive crashed ... replaced  it but unfortunately lost all my data. Thank goodness most  - if not all - of my poetry is here on myspace but I did lose all of my works in progress.

And, I also lost my job. I was laid off on the 22nd. Trying to be hopeful and optomistic, looking for new windows and doors to open. We'll see. So far, there have been so many little gifts and blessings from friends - to help with food and back-to-school expenses for the boys. So yes, I am grateful. And hopeful.

I have a lot of catching up to do. Lost a few friends while I was gone, and have added a couple more - I don't know how often I'll be on for awhile, but hope to get caught up in the next week or so.

Oh yea, and my husband lost his job in June so we are both on the dole. Ain't life grand?

Let me know how everyone's been.

With love,
Melanie

3:09 AM - 12 Comments - 22 Kudos - Add Comment

Lingering
Category: Writing and Poetry

There is nothing here for her in this moment,
Neither in the moment before or in the moment following.
This is all she has
A book in her hand
A can of warm Coke on the blue formica table in front of her
When she touches the can, her hand comes away wet
From the condensation clinging to the sides

The words on the page merge
Black and white lines running together
Blurring behind the façade of unshed tears
If you were to look at her in this moment,
You would see the sorrow deep in her eyes
But it is already too late
And the moment is gone

Is this really all there is? she wonders
But only for a moment
That brief moment when sanity might actually rise up out of the …
But out of the what?
Thin air?
Just snap your fingers,
And just as quick, the moment disappears
A whisper of smoke, nothing more
And she is again absorbed by the uselessness of it all

She stuffs the pain and disgust and fear back down inside of her
The way she stuffs her body into too-tight jeans
And swallows hard to keep it down

The hard edge of the chair cuts into the backs of her thighs
And the metal button of her jeans bites into the tender white flesh of her belly
A self-imposed penance
She would kneel bare-skinned on broken glass if it would take away the pain

But that isn't true either
And she knows it
Without a second glance, she closes the book,
Wipes away the ring of moisture on the table's smooth surface
And walks away

A bitter taste lingering
A bitter taste
Lingering





© Melanie Turner
June 13, 2008

12:04 AM - 8 Comments - 18 Kudos - Add Comment

Looking Homeward
Category: Writing and Poetry

On the bookshelf in my father's house
Are the same books which have always lived there
The assorted occupants standing
Side by side
In the exact spots I remember
Tucked away into their little niches
Next to their neighbors
So that wandering down the neighborhood
Running a finger across those familiar spines
You would find
Everything the way it has always been
Peake's Gormanghast next to Tolkein's Fellowship,
Khalil Griban's Prophet within shouting distance of Dante's Inferno
Solzhenitsyn and Tolstoy, too, rubbing shoulders with James Joyce and Hemingway,
The hard-bound doorways of Orwell, Hawthorne, and Wolfe
Lead in unerring paths to Shakespeare and Conan Doyle
Here you can find windows opening onto
Graham's Wind in the Willows and Whitman's Leaves of Grass
Take a bit of solace in the constancy of Chaucer, Spenser, Swift and Kipling
And reflect on the roads you have traveled through the years
From the folkloric Thistle Down of Scotland to
Robert's adventures through the Northwest Passage
They all wait for you,
As they always have,
With the dependability of true friends
There is a comfort, you see, in the familiarity of these leathered volumes
Standing in their ordained places
Solid little pillars
Withstanding the unalterable movement of time








© Melanie Turner
June 11, 2008

Currently reading : Spend Game By Jonathan Gash

7:30 PM - 11 Comments - 22 Kudos - Add Comment

I Remember
Category: Writing and Poetry

I remember that day
When my heart broke
Cracking like ice
The sound of it so loud
I swear it could be heard for miles
And I fell through the ice
Into frigid waters
Holding onto your hand
As you dragged me to the bottom
With you
But I loved you too much to let go

I remember that day
When my eyes turned to stone
And all the light in the world
Disappeared
The pain in your eyes
Eclipsed the sun
And the closer we got
The faster our wings melted
And we plummeted to earth
Together

I remember that day
When the hopelessness in my soul
Was mirrored by yours
And I cried tears of ice
From sightless eyes
Because neither of us could find our way home






© Melanie Turner
May 27, 2008

9:46 PM - 11 Comments - 22 Kudos - Add Comment

This Morning
Category: Writing and Poetry

There was no solace in the morning
When I awoke
And you were gone

The emptiness
Hovered in the silence
Caught between the thin line of the horizon
Pulling the sun up into the pale blue of a lonely dawn

Just outside the window
A mourning dove begins her new day's lament
Every breath a whispered song of sorrow
Echoing
In the hollow
Of my heart






© Melanie Turner
May 25, 2008

4:49 PM - 9 Comments - 20 Kudos - Add Comment

Would a Razor? (repost)
Category: Writing and Poetry

Would a razor…?

I am worn out with the struggle
Of trying to hang on to this by a thread
When you refuse to open your eyes to the danger
Maybe this relationship is better off dead.

Would a razor slice through my skin
With as much precision as your silence?
Or pills dull the pain inside my soul
As effectively as your indifference?

Would a noose around my neck
Choke off the throbbing grief?
Or undetectable gas inhaled
Blur the anguish into unfeeling sleep?

When you reject the hazard of apathy
Where is the saving grace in this moment?
What is the purpose of living
When there's no rescue in abandonment?























© Melanie Turner Chestine
June 17, 2006

9:41 PM - 4 Comments - 12 Kudos - Add Comment

By Now
Category: Writing and Poetry

By now, it should have passed out of common memory
But it lingered on
Cloaking time like
Spanish moss hanging from once living trees
Hiding the inevitable
Twisted and gnarled limbs
Of her damaged soul

Sometimes they suffocated her
With a compression of time
Which pressed down upon her
Pummeled her
Driving her to madness
Until she screamed
(because she could do nothing less)
"I remember, I remember"

But it was the last thing she wanted to do

The shadows themselves
Moved before her and after her
Around her and about her
Trapping her in a third dimension
An obscure plane of existence
Where memories burst forth
Birthed with pain
And it was too late to say
"I do not want this"



© Melanie Turner
May 19, 2008

8:23 PM - 14 Comments - 26 Kudos - Add Comment

Marshmallow Lemon Snow Cheesecake
Category: Food and Restaurants

I want to say it was probably 1987 or 1988. I don't have a date on it, and since so many papers are still in storage, I don't have a record to hand. But I do have a copy of the recipe. I don't think I've even made this cheesecake since then, because I misplaced the recipe years ago, but the last time I was down in California visiting my mom and dad, my mom told me she had found her copy, so now I have it again. One of these week-ends, when I'm feeling a little bit more energetic, I'll "whip" it up again.

This cheesecake, which I call "Marshmallow Lemon Snow Cheesecake" won $1,000 (which back in the 80's was quite a chunk of change) in a Kraft marshmallow recipe contest. It was the first recipe contest I had ever entered and I was astounded that I won.

I don't even remember what I spent the prize money on, but I was a single mom back then, so it probably went to food and bills.

A few of you have asked for the recipe. I hope you enjoy it.

Marshmallow Lemon Snow Cheesecake

Pretzel Crumb Crust

3 cups low-salt, butter-flavor pretzel crumbs
1 cup (2 cubes) unsalted butter, melted
1 teaspoon almond extract
1/3 cup brown sugar, packed

Add pretzel crumbs to melted butter. Mix well. Stir in almond extract and brown sugar until evenly mixed. Press into bottom and up sides of well-buttered 9-inch springform pan. Chill in refrigerator while making cheesecake.

Cheesecake

1 cup heavy whipping cream
5 cups Kraft Miniature Marshmallows
3 8-ounce packages Kraft Philadelphia Cream Cheese, softened
1/2 cup lemon juice
5 eggs

In top of double-boiler over boiling water, stir whipping cream and marshmallows with a wooden spoon until the marshmallows have melted. Set aside to cool slightly. In large mixing bowl, beat softened cream cheese until fluffy. Beat in lemon juice. Add eggs, one at a time, beating until well mixed. Add marshmallow-cream mixture, beating continuously until smooth. Pour into prepared crust in springform pan and bake in oven pre-heated at 325ºF for 1 hour 5 minutes. Remove from oven. Cool slihglty. Cheesecake will settle a little as it cools. Chill in refrigerator at least 6 hours.

Lemon Topping

3/4 cup sugar
2 tablespoons cornstarch
Dash salt
1 egg yolk, slightly beaten
3/4 cup water
3 tablespoons lemon juice
1 tablespoon butter
3 drops yellow food coloring

Prepare topping while cheesecake is baking. In top of double boiler, stir together sugar, cornstarch and salt. Stir in egg yolk, water and lemon juice. Stir over boiling water, continuously, approximately ten minutes, until mixture thickens. Remove from heat. Stir in butter and food coloring. Transfer mixture to bowl and cover with plastic wrap, pressing the plastic wrap against the surface to prevent filming. Chill in refrigerator until ready to serve.

To Serve

When ready to serve, remove cheesecake from springform pan by carefully going around edge with a sharp knife. Remove side of pan and slide cheesecake onto a separate platter. Spoon Lemon Topping over top of cheesecake, spreading it to the edges.

Garnish with finely grated coconut and miniature marshmallows.

Makes 12-14 servings.

© Melanie M Turner
May 17, 2008

12:58 AM - 3 Comments - 6 Kudos - Add Comment

Unbound
Category: Writing and Poetry

It
Should not
Be dependent upon the way the
Moon hangs crescent-jeweled in the sky
Echoing its more brilliant sister-sun
Or the way the
Dancing leaves fall to the ground
As rain blossoms into snow
In the long white winters

Nor
Should it be found
Only in those newborn days
When the sun is just beginning
To edge its way up
Around the long corners
Of the world
And bands of rainbows link
The morning and the evening
Until the stars are framed by
Walls of nighttime

If
I could capture
The light of the moon
Inside,
Catch the rain as it falls, cool,
Upon my uplifted face,
Wrap myself in a blanket of stars,
And let the warm desire of the summer sun
Melt the inner core of me,
Watch myself
Swirling away into the atmosphere
The way autumn leaves weave themselves
Into fall's shortening days
Or leap, a rainbow,
Through a sapphire sky
Then,
And only then,
Would I be





© Melanie Turner
May 14, 2008

9:24 PM - 15 Comments - 31 Kudos - Add Comment