5 Prints for $25!

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5 prints for $25
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David Montgomery
119 Ruby Str.
Paris, Mo. 65275

High quality lithographs, these are from my first print run ever
and a guaranteed smart investment!
This offer is only available to my myspace friends.
Great framed or unframed.
A must have for any true fan of my work.

Let me know if you want me to sign them!
Tell me what you want me to say, and who to.
Great Gifts for Art Fans!

Plus for every set sold, I will donate a dollar to the Rock n Roll Camp For Girls!

7:03 AM - 2 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment

My thoughts on Tattoo art.
Current mood: exanimate

You know how comedians are always saying they developed their sense of humor as a coping device for childhood bullies? I have a similar relationship with my art, except not as pathetic.
When I was younger I would use my art to make friends at school and prevent enemies in detention centers. In school, it was mainly drawing on notebooks and jean jackets. In detentions it was mainly tattoos.

Anytime I was sent to a new place, my MO was to keep my mouth shut for the first few days, figure out who's gonna run the roost, then break out the drawing pad and blow fucking minds, man. Tattoos were usually the first thing requested.

Being 10, and not born in a tattoo parlor, I was too young to have any experience in actually giving tattoos. So at first I would merely draw the patterns. Eventually actually sitting in on the big dirty.

It was a cartoon bulldog with something stupid behind it. I can't remember what, just that it was stupid. It was gonna be their new gang logo, and they were all gonna get it on their chests.

It would be their way of showing their dedication to each other. People tend to bond quicker in places they don't want to be. It's not so much a friendship, but a sharing of the same hate. I'm sure their gesture of this would have been glorious, albeit somewhat dishonest.

It was Kurt, (good friend of mine, kind of a big bro figure, if the world was Mad Max.), the gang leader, who I was gonna see get his tattoo. It would be done with a gutted pen, piece of wire, and stomper motor. They made it about 45 minutes into it before the artist fucked it up, and Kurt spent 3 minutes bloodying the artist's face. Which may not seem like a long time, but it's a nice chunk in ass whoopin time.

One of the more awkward 3 minutes of my early life, actually.

Needless to say my interest in being a tattoo artist died that day. I still have a certain respect for the craft. But zero interest in ever being a tattoo artist. The art itself is just like any other art form. Some of it is good, some of it sucks. Usually depends on the artist. It very much has the potential to be great.

In todays world of reality shows and celebrity for no reason, combined with the recent boom in social acceptance of all things stupid. I could see tattoos becoming a sad cliche of themselves, and go the way of the motorcycle gang. But this is up to the artists themselves to take their art in whatever direction they see fit.

Not being a tattoo artist, it's not really any of my business

9:43 PM - 69 Comments - 37 Kudos - Add Comment

montyill...homeowner?...and everything u need to know to be a good artist. Well, not you, but..
Current mood: touched

Actually it's more like my dad is giving me a sweet deal on his super sweet home. 3 bedroom, 2 bath, nice microwave oven. So I think I may take him up on it.

But before you think, "Oh Gee, another rich boy bragging about his rich boy shit. I'd like to shoot him, grab his wallet, and go after his family." Before you think that, understand that me grama bought this house and sold it to me Da, and now he's gonna sell it to me. So there's a history with this house, alot of of alcoholism and catholic-Irish guilt.

If these walls could talk, they would verbally abuse their women, and then drink with their friends bitching about how stupid woman are. (So sweet. I told myself I wouldn't cry)

Just kiddin. Actually my Ma and Pa are great. They always visit us in jail, and didn't let the state take any of us away as kids. And if they did. They always made sure they got us back.

They are always there for us and this may be a cool way that u the taxpayer, (because I'm on disability) can help me buy a nice house, and give me folks their home back as they live out their golden years.

Which from what I can tell so far about parkinsons, I have no idea why they call it the "golden"  years. They should call it the "learning how to shit yourself in public without causing a scene" years. Maybe gold is some sort of pee metaphor.

So anywho, I think I may buy "Shakes" house. There's so much good that can come of it. The only downside is that I personally have a problem setting down roots. Trees have roots, and their fucking stupid.

Anything that you can walk up to with a chainsaw, talk about how ur gonna kill it, and then kill it, is stupid.

"Their called defense wounds, pussies. Learn to love them."

Thats why I consider rabbits to be so smart. Ever try and kill a rabbit with a chainsaw? Not very easy. Your best bet is to trap them in a barrel or hole, and then sticking the chainsaw into said barrel or hole. I only say this because I dont want you to make the same mistake I did.

Anywho, anyone got any home buying advice? I dont want to get killed by a chainsaw.

I also ask because this a great way to "thin the herd", so to speak. Tomorrow I'll have 100 less friends and 150 letters from fuck heads pissed because "trees are people too", which their not, and that is why they die. And "chainsaws are bad for the ozone" which I dont care about. Because I have a chainsaw.

I used to do this with a headline that read, "Finally...art that doesn't suck." (Which is a simpsons quote. btw) But I got sick of getting letters from people bitching saying, "You think your better than everyone?"

To which I would reply............well..............yeah. Have you seen the art?

Why would you be jealous of someone because they can draw pics better than you? They act like I get up in the morning, walk down the street, and BAM!  There's a hot milf screaming, "Can someone save my baby? Can someone draw a picture of them?". And I'm like, "Oh gee. I can save your baby! I'm a fucking ARTIST!! "

In my opinion, being an artist, no matter what media, is about the most useless talent u can possibly have. We're like Aquaman. You dont really need us, and yet, here we are.

I'm sure when we're picking who gets seats on the final earth escape pods. Artists will not be high on the list. Except maybe Lori Early, Angie Mason and Alicia Solo, but it's only because their super hot, as well as super talented. You cant let those genes die.

Artist records the true history of us. And guess who cares about us? Us.

I doubt when the sun dies out it'll put a little sunshine back for it's "peeps". Know why? Because it doesn't care. And if it does. It wont be because of artists.

We'll never cure cancer, or contact other life because of our "kick-ass art". (except for maybe Lori, Angie, or Alicia, of course)

And as far as jealousy. Why?

Here you go, tuff guy. Here's a pencil and paper. Go feed ur family with that. Go tell someone this is what u do, and see if they give a shit. Or take you seriously at all. Just be glad you took that typing course, Bitch-tits, and shut the fuck up.

11:30 PM - 40 Comments - 37 Kudos - Add Comment

The greatest picture ever drawn in the history of time!
Current mood: gallant

But I dont want to oversell it, so you tell me.

Can Dali eat a fat one? I'd like to think so.  

untitled - workin progress - 28x34 inxh (I think, not sure, but its fairly good size.) sorry for the crappy copy, but its just a wip so didnt want to spend any m..)

I think it's about relationships.

How we let stupid shit, like relationships with stupid people, overwhelm and disable our lives. Plus how facinated we are with outdated unrealistic ideas like love and happiness. And how we adjust and mangle our own lives to convince ourselves we have these things, even when in honesty we know it's not what we really want.

Love is a great thing, and like most great things it's hard to come by. It does happen, but rarely. I think most people claim love when what they really are doing is settling for a sense of security. A false sense of security that rarely works out, so we lash out, blaming each other for our own inability to feel good about ourselves. Almost always treating the person we claimed to love more than anyone, shittier than we would our worst enemy.

It's a huge lie that we all go for at least once. But most relationships still seem to be for financial and mental security. I have still yet to see a super hot chick marry a smelly fat guy, (unless, of course, he has money)

I think love happens as often as lightning. And your probably thinking, "well gee Dave, lightning happens all the time." To which I would say look out your window for five minutes, how many bolts of lightning did you see? Now tell me how many homes you see with couples that are "in love".

Not to be negative. I'm just not buying it.  Peace out!

Update

This a part i just added to the top left corner of the above pic.

Not sure where I'm going with this new part, but it sure is nice to put something down on paper after a dry spell........

update  December Six

you can see an updated copy of the entire bottom peice here.

jan 8. 2008

7:43 AM - 68 Comments - 75 Kudos - Add Comment

How and why I pick my friends

Ever since i added my prints for sale on my page alot of my friends have been asking me if I added them just to sell prints. The answer is no. I put up the prints because it's easier than answering the same question over and over, if i have any prints. I pick my friends based on their pages and check out everyone before i accept or request them. There was something I enjoyed about your page or i would not have accepted it. Now would i like you to buy some prints? Of course I would. I appreciate it when people dig my work enough to pitch in on it. I could always use another ten bucks. But to me whats more important is getting to share my work with everyone who may get something out of them. They are my babies and the only good thing I've ever done with my life. As any proud parent, I would love to see them be successful and loved by the whole world. And at the risk of being a dick, postage and shipping cost me $5, so i stand to make a whopping $5 for each one you buy, so unless your gonna buy a hundred of them, it will have very little impact on my pocketbook. And who knows, if your cool about it, I'll prolly just give them to you. (if I can afford it)

11:51 PM - 61 Comments - 66 Kudos - Add Comment

Mr. Professionalism

here's a letter from funk to me.:

Morning Update

The Rippers say they can't play tonight. Drummer isn't ready.
Looks like its gonna be a Solo Jeezi Joint, unless you wanna find somebody last minute.

The Costanzas and Federation of Horsepower are interested in Aug 26th. Both said they'd check with the rest of the band and get back to us.

And there was something else, but I can't remember what it was...

Oh Yea, lick my balls bitch.


Funk

7:29 AM - 10 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment