21:28 - 9/2/08: Weekend & Labor Day Adventures
Current mood: chipper

Saturday, 8/30/08: We'd made plans week before last to meet with some friends of ours (2 of whom were Blizzard team members as well as being a couple and D is a friend whom we met through them) to go ice skating this past weekend. They're both experienced skaters, and Norma and I both need some help in the skating department. Norma needed assistance with her backward skating, as her forward is okay. I needed help with just skating forward, period. My previous attempts got me from blue line to blue line (for those hockey fans), which isn't that big. So, we headed out to their place, piled into their Jeep, and headed out to the ice rink.

We had a blast! They really helped us both a great deal.. we laughed.. I fell twice, Norma fell twice and the 3rd friend fell twice. Now, let me say that my falling twice was a result of my own loss of balance. No one helped me fall. I was "snipered." (it's a term from softball for players who fall or trip for no apparent reason)

Norma was snipered once I think, but the second time was due to a young man, about 13-14 yrs old, skating backwards towards her as she and I were taking a quick break to chat. He didn't know she was there, and Norma didn't know he was coming. I saw too late to be able to warn her, and next thing I know, Norma's on her back on the ice, laughing. WHEW - no one was hurt. The young man was VERY apologetic and laughing from embarrassment. It was pretty funny. If anyone had been injured, I wouldn't have seen humor in it. Thankfully, that was not the case.

Our friend, D, fell once because one of our other friends tried to pull a stunt that didn't quite work out. LOL The second time, I'm not sure what happened.

Despite all the falling down and bruises as a result, there was much hilarity. So much so, that we're doing it again this coming Saturday! LOL After the ice skating lessons, we all went back to their house, enjoyed some very yummy food, played pool and scrabble, and watched a movie. Oh, and we talked and talked and talked.

Sunday, 8/31/08: Norma and I had previously decided that Sunday would be yard-work day. So, we spent the majority of the day weed-eating, mowing, etc. in the backyard. The roommate I often blog about took care of the front yard yesterday. Well, she mowed it, anyway. :) Not much else to tell there. We got a lot done.

Monday, 9/1/08: HAPPY LABOR DAY! (I have often wondered why most holidays are "happy," but only Christmas is "merry." .... ??) We slept in. Well, I know I slept in. Norma doesn't quite sleep in as easily as I do. I woke up around 1030-1045. We'd planned on riding the bikes. So, Norma was trying to track down her trail book (still haven't found it!), while I did more mundane things - cook orange rolls, folded laundry, etc. She finally gave up. We stopped at Hudson Trail to see if they had a copy there, and to check on bike bags and bike gloves for me. We got a different book - they didn't have the one we wanted - and I got gloves and bug repellant (thank you, Sweetie for remembering that I am a mosquito magnet).

We decided that we'd go to the trail Norma had in mind originally - the North Tract of the Patuxent Wildlife Refuge. So, at 4 pm, we're finally on our way to Laurel. But, after all our troubles, the park is closed. ARGH. Well, we're not that far from the rink where we'd gone skating Saturday (and where Norma and the couple who helped us plays summer hockey and where Norma does her scorekeeping gig to help pay for hockey). The rink is part of a regional park, which happens to have a multi-use trail!

BTW: this trail has HILLS. We didn't know that. We went 4 miles in 30 minutes. Considering I had to stop to use my inhaler once, and walked 15% of the trail, that's not too bad, I don't think. But, I'm a beginner, and this was not a beginner's trail. OY! My quads felt like bricks! Norma was just pedaling along.. la la la... and I'm schleppin' my sorry kiester up the hill on foot, sucking wind with each step. LMAO

It was a good time, in retrospect. LOL I'm looking forward to the return trip out on the bike.

Hope everyone had as fun a weekend as I did!!

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21:13 - 8/28/08: To be amused or not to be amused? THAT is the question!
Current mood: amused

This will be my second try on today's blog. The first time I unPLUGGED everything from the wall when I stretched my leg out under the desk (they're not exactly long legs, either). OOPS!

Ok, so the gist of what I'd written is that I didn't know what I was going to write about, but that I'd just start typing and maybe get a little 'stream of consciousness' going. So, here I am, streaming my consciousness... BLAH

Ok, on today's agenda... I got my car door magnets in! I ordered some "Baltimore Dog Walker" I'll-come-walk-your-dog-etc. magnets a couple weeks ago and they were on the front porch. I immediately cleaned off my car doors (I'm sure I'll get around to cleaning the rest of the car... eventually), and placed them on the car. They look good. Goes great with the HRC equality sticker, my gay pride rainbow sticker and my female hockey player magnet. Maybe the message I'm sending is something along the lines of "Sporty dyke like to walk'um doggie" (think Tonto).

Oddly, I'm not all that dykey (a professed 'tweener with leanings to the girly side), and well, I ain't that sporty either. I walk ALOT, I've ridden my bike with Norma now, once, and the hockey magnet is in support of her being the hockey player. I just do my best to be an obnoxious hockey wife. Ok, I'm not really all that obnoxious, either, but I DO yell at the games. And, I have a general idea of how the game goes. Just enough to not sound dumb. Norma's been TRYING to teach me how to keep score, but I'm proving to be resistant. LOL I can do a few things for her in a pinch.

Anyway, I'm happy I got the magnets, and they're on the car!

Right now, I am trying to deal with a number of things. I auditioned for a classic rock cover band Friday, but I did not have the right kind of voice. I knew it, they knew it. No hard feelings. I don't think there was a whole lot of 'feelin'-it' on either side. However, the bass player, who is very nice, and I have been emailing back and forth. She has some originals she'd like to get onto CD, and I'd like to be able to get a demo, so it looks like we'll be helping one another do those things.

Oh, Norma and I went last weekend to visit Liz in VA. We brought the bikes down with us, and the three of us rode for a bit. Norma rode for a bit MORE than Liz and I did (twice our distance), and that nervy bitch didn't even look SWEATY. Dammit. Liz made her a bet that once she'd had time to "train" that she'd beat Norma cycling. There's $10 riding on it. I'll just stand by with band-aids and towels and water. I have NO dog in this race, thank you. Don't need to be trying to root for someone in a race between my ex-partner and my current one. Nuh-uh. We had fun, and didn't touch Guitar Hero ONCE!

Sunday Norma had games to score, so I went home, caught a nap, and went back to see her and bring her food. Oh, and pick her up since I'd dropped her off on the way back from VA.

Roommate situation really hasn't changed. I keep waiting for it to change, and it keeps looking like it MIGHT, but then it doesn't. Or it hasn't. Not up to this point. I'm in a really difficult place over it, too, b/c on the one hand I always try to believe in people, but on the other, when do I go from having faith in someone to being taken advantage of by them? (I realize that sentence is totally screwed grammatically-speaking.. just go with it) So, I'm still going to my meetings (al-anon), and trying to "disassociate" myself from what goes on at home.

Tell you a kinda funny/kinda sad story. A couple of weeks ago, Norma and I were doing the late-night feed the frogs thing. I went into the fridge to get some cricket food, and I noticed there was some kind of GUNK on the bottom shelf. Well, Norm and I had put a few beers on the bottom shelf (under the dairy drawer) way back before July 4th. We were trying to hide them from her.

I reached in to pull them out, and they were EMPTY. And instead of 4 beers (of the Blue Moon variety), there were 3 Blue Moon bottles and 1 Budweiser Select bottle. 2 of the Blue Moons and the Bud were all empty. The Bud bottle had a Blue Moon lid on it, one Blue Moon bottle had a King Cobra lid on it. The third empty was just EMPTY. The 4th was still full of beer, but I think it'd stayed in the cooler in Norma's car too long. That was the only reason it hadn't been consumed, the lid replaced and the bottle put BACK into the fridge EMPTY. LMFAO!! So, shame on us for bringing alcohol into our home and expecting it to be there when we want it.

The little bit of alcohol we do have is hidden away and/or we only buy enough to be consumed right away. I have a little 200 ml bottle of Crown, which is *only* for use when I'm singing and my voice is really hoarse, that I've been guarding with my life. We are both just so sick of the whole situation and her b/s that it no longer matters that she's trying to find a job. We don't want her to contribute. We can't rely on her to uphold her end of things. We just want her to move out. I daresay I'm to the point where I'm ready to call legal aid to see what can be done about the situation. I can't afford to pay for a lawyer outright. But it doesn't hurt to check with legal aid to see what options we have. I'm beyond DONE with her and her myriad problems.

So, I guess that's what has been on my mind. LOL You just never know what you're going to get, huh?

Currently listening : I'm Not Dead By Pink Release date: 2006-04-04

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00:41 - 9-1-1!!! Need my friends to call or text msg me!!!
Current mood: annoyed

My phone died... likely as a result of dropping it all the time.. i Walk dogs.. it happens. So, I have Norma's old phone, and have switched out the smartchips, but I still don't have everyone's numbers. So, will all of you who have my number, please call or text me (with your name in the message) so I can save you to my phone book??

THANKS!!!

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05:11 - 8/10/08: Singing and miscellaneous amphibians
Current mood: ecstatic

I just recently decided to pursue something else I love (again) - singing. I used to sing blues, lead female vocals, for a band in Louisiana back in 2003. I stopped in December of that year and moved to MD in Feb 2004. I decided recently to pursue it here in Baltimore again - 5 yrs later! - and just got my first gig!!! I auditioned today and I'm in to sing with a group of other vocalists, both together and individually, at Fort McHenry in Sept for *3,000* national guard and their spouses!! The Baltimore Orioles and Ravens have been invited, as well as the MD state Olympians (Katie Hoff, Michael Phelps, etc.), President and Laura Bush, Barack Obama and John McCain. OMG! I was ecstatic. I'll be singing following a reenactment of the British Attacks on Fort McHenry. And I'll be singing the following day at Camden Yards for the end of the military convention. I am blown away. 3000 military - national guard brass - not including the people working the convention and making things happen behind the scenes!

I am TOTALLY FLOORED! I will be singing with a group of men and women, including 2 young women - one from America's Got Talent, and the the from Baltimore Idol, as well as a young man named one of Balt's radio station's Vocalists of the Year for 2000. And here I am, older than all of them, heavier than all of them and all I did was sing blues in LA... ? LOL I am so humbled and in disbelief that I'm going to be performing with them. I got so many compliments from people in the bar where we were today. :)

I'll be singing individually (3, maybe all 4 if there's time):
Something To Talk About - Bonnie Raitt
Gimme One Reason - Tracey Chapman
At Last - Etta James
Bubbly - Colbie Caillat

and I'll be singing harmony on Independence Day - Martina McBride and God Bless The USA.

So, I have to go buy a dark blue dress or snazzy outfit to wear for the gig. The skinny girls can do red and white. LMAO. I look good in red, but unless I find something that really looks good on me, there's no way I'm wrapping bright red fabric around the bulk of my 200 lb frame.

It's unreal, and I don't mean to go on and on about this, but it just happened today, and I think I'm still in shock. lol

On a different note, Norma and I have found tadpoles and froglets (the babies) in the pool. It wasn't treated b/c we have a roommate who is jobless and broke and we're not going to get it cleaned out for her to sit around, drink, and work on her tan while I'm out working and so is Norma. So, we found tree frog tadpoles in the pool last Sunday, and we've taken it as our mission to save them from certain death in the pool.

We have set up a terrarium for the froglets (air-breathers) and a tank for the tadpoles. It's hilarious and funny how we've invested so much time and cash, frankly, to making sure these little amphibians don't meet a bad end b/c we were too stubborn to clean the pool once it warmed up outside. LMFAO I'll get pics posted soon.. If you're an animal and critter lover, then you can appreciate this... We have about 20 froglets (who can only eat 1/8" long crickets or flightless fruit flies, and are app 1" long themselves) and around 40 tadpoles, who eat betta food, algae discs and spirulina flakes. ROFL

The terrarium looks amazing. And we know there are some very happy frogs in there. One of them only has one eye - Norma named him Lucky. There'll be no releasing him b/c he couldn't survive in the wild. Most of them, we'll release as close as we can to where they were found, once they are big enough to eat decent size crickets.

I'm off to bed. I'm dead and too dumb to fall over right now. LMAO G'night, everyone!!

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22:45 - 7/27/08: Guitar Hero!
Current mood: happy

I have to confess - I wasn't sure why people could be such Guitar Hero junkies. I've never played guitar, and I'm not really "into" video games, myself. But, last night, I got a good taste of GH2, and I LOVED IT!!!

I only played it on the EASY setting, which only utilizes 3 of the 5 fret keys, but for a first-timer, I did okay, getting up 95% of the song correct! Norma and I starting playing together - me on Lead, and Norma on Bass - and we have a 105 note streak at one point!!!! LMAO

I'd venture to say that for newbies, we totally rocked!! With Norma's assistance, Ian earned a new lead and 2 new bass guitars!

I'm totally hooked, and must scheme to find a way to get this into our home. LMAO We must have played 75% of the song list last night! Norma took a pic of Ian and I playing, and I looked so serious - I was completely absorbed! LMAO

Thanks Ian and Liz, for the wonderful food (grilled veggies and swordfish with crab-dip apps), the wonderful company and drinks, and for letting us sleep over. We had a blast with you both, along with T & C, too! It was great seeing them again too! And, thanks for letting us play GH2, Ian. Now I get it. LMAO

-Nic

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14:50 - 7/23/08: My Dog Walker profile - check it out!!
Current mood: inspired
Category: Pets and Animals

Please send a friend request to me at my new profile, myspace.com/BaltimoreDogWalker! I decided to create this profile in order to help me drum up my own clientèle closer to home.

It's important to network, so I need your friends to add me. In order for them to do that, YOU have to add me as a friend!!! :) Some of you may have already received a friend request from me, but not many, b/c I'm insanely busy right now.

I hope to add photos, and I plan on blogging every so often, so that people know how business is going.

So, drop the milk bones and FIND MY PROFILE... myspace.com/BaltimoreDogWalker

Don't make me tap my paw.... ;)

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14:08 - 7/15/08: the MVA, my vaccinations, and other useless crap.
Current mood: pirate

Today's blog is likely to be all over the map. You're all used to it by now, I'm sure.

Friday, I went to see my dr... it was time to get things checked 'under the hood' so to speak, and I needed to follow-up with her about some meds and health stuff anyway. First let me tell you, Dr. B rocks!! She knows my health plan in and out, knows what they'll cover and won't cover and is all about working things out to make things happen for me... This way, I get what I need.. Crazy, right?

So, I go in for my pelvic... Nothing out of the ordinary... "feet, meet stirrups. stirrups, meet feet.. oh thank you for wearing socks, feet. No problem, stirrups.. that mauve paper vest really brings out your eyes. why, thank you! " ok, i'll stop now. I'm getting weird again, aren't i?

LOL anyway, all is well till then end of the visit. I'm sitting upright again, still wearing the paper vest and paper sheet, and Dr B asks me when my last tetanus shot was... "uhm, over ten years ago, " I say somewhat sheepishly.. "Well, you should let us give you another then while you're here.. and a pneumonia vaccine, too, since you have asthma." (Yes, my asthma is worse and now I have to do the steroid inhaler twice a day. My job is pretty active, so the asthma has been an issue, and since I walk dogs and you never know what injury one might sustain while doing that, the tetanus didn't sound totally insane. It HAD been over 10 yrs.)

So, I get a tetanus and a pneumo vaccine. With scientific advancements in the vaccine arena, the chance for getting ill from them was VERY low. So, of course, I spent the next TWO DAYS in bed with a fever between 100-101 degrees. and a MAJOR headache. and bc I have a fever, my body feels like it's been pummeled. So, I ended up calling the dr's office. The nurse calls me back, tells me how rare it is for anyone to run a fever from vaccines anymore. Ok, I'm a type 1 diabetic, people... is it REALLY that hard to believe, I ask the nurse. She politely asnwers that No, it is not, given my health concerns. She advises me to alternate between taking advil and tylenol, so my system isn't overloaded with taking one med in my attempts to keep the fever down. In between, when my fever was down, it was lower than normal... in the 97 degree range. I've never done that before... so argh. I will NOT be getting the flu vaccine, needless to say. Everytime I do, I get sick!

Oh, and my BP is up and I had an EKG done while I was there. And I was supposed to be going in for a pelvic and refills on my rescue inhaler. Liz very smartly pointed out that I can't say I'm not getting adequate health care.. LOL No, I cannot.

Also on last friday's fun things that happened, I got a speeding ticket. Yes, I was speeding. doing 51 in a 30, apparently. Right before I got tagged, I was trying to pass a bus, going downhill, only to have the bus turn off of the road anyway. So before I could get back to a slower speed, I got zapped. GRRRRR.. but the officer was nice, sensing my distress, and wrote the speed in on the ticket at 44. A much less hefty fine, and better chance at having the judge be nice if I show up in court over it. Otherwise, that'll be $90 to the county, thank you very much.

But, since my fever was so high sunday night, I had called my customers and told them what had happened, and explained that i'd be unable to do my walks the next day. As it happened, I woke up feeling a little bit better, and used the opportunity to go to the MVA office and get my new car registered. Thank goodness, b/c the temp registration/tags expired yesterday!! So, I'm street legal on the new car. The old car's title is on its way to the insurance company, since the car was totaled. I think everyone should be good to go on this whole car thing.

I'm still going to the al-anon meetings. I have one tonight in fact. It'll be my 3rd mtg so far. I wanted to go to more, but wednesday I was delayed by an accident, so I missed that mtg, then thursday I had already planned to see Norma play hockey. Friday, well.. I was just too friggin busy getting stuck by the dr., in more ways than one.. lol And over the weekend I was sick. So, I'm going back to the place where I went first (last Tuesday). I liked that meeting alot. Norma's playing hockey tonight, but given how much the meetings have helped so far, I've decided to put myself first and go to the meeting. I'll probably hit another tomorrow, b/c that Wednesday noon mtg was pretty good that I went to last week.

Oh, and to continue the saga of our Wild Kingdom... Last night, we went to a place not far from home to get something to eat. When we got back, we were sitting in her car, listening to the romantic sounds of hockey music (another animal, foo fighters, beastie boys, slim shady, ac/dc, et al..)and we see a fox.. and he's trotting (they really do trot. I've NEVER seen a fox stroll, or canter.. they have always trotted) along and he trots into the yard of the neighbor across the street from our house. We think "cool!" and keep on jammin'. A few minutes later, the same fox comes trotting down the street again! We're parked on the street, mind you, and he's on the other side of the narrow road. So, we're close. We start wondering what he's doing. That's when we see 2 tiny bunnies IN OUR FRONT YARD. they come hopping into the yard, away from the fox they've apparently just seen and they stop dead in the tracks. You couldn't even see them BREATHING.

Well, seeing it on tv is one thing, but I am fervently hoping not to get an up-close view of the circle of life. They stay totally still for at least 5 solid minutes, maybe more, until they figure it's safe... then they hop away... INTO the yard of the neighbor across the street.

OY.. I don't know if the little thumpers are alive still... but if not, at least I didn't have to witness it. But they've got a fox on their tails. I know the fox has to eat, so I want him or her to be successful, but I don't want him to eat the rabbits. I'm sure you understand. At least they didn't hop into the backyard where my dog is likely prowling for some small woodland creature to frolick.

So, that wraps up my tale of woe (or WHOA!).. Be safe, little bunnies!

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11:27 - 7/10/08: who’s really in control here?
Current mood: relieved

I had a WONDERFUL vacation... it was too soon over - just gone from Wed-Sun - but I enjoyed it. I got to take 2.5 days and sit on the beach and get a tan with Norma and Kate. I got to spend time with Norma driving to and from NC. I got to RELAX. Thanks to Liz for taking care of Harley for me.. Liz, you'll get that favor returned to you in October! LOL

But, today's blog begins with our return from our vacation. It involves the roommate, whom you've heard me go on about in the past... For the purpose of today's blog, we'll refer to her as the STUPOR, since you never know when she's going to drag her ass home in a drunken stupor (yes, she drives herself!).

Well, we come home, and it is late.. like 1130pm I think. I go to let Norma's dog in (she and Stupor adopted him their last year together as a couple, but Norma and I take care of him.), since it's late and wet outside. Stupor's been the one to take care of him while we're away. His water bowls are bone-dry. And it had rained earlier, too! I have no idea if he'd drank it all during the day or an hour before we came home, but he should've had SOME water, especially since it rained, not in SPITE of it! So, that kinda ticked me off...

Then, I walk into the kitchen, and it's STILL dirty from BEFORE we left for Norm's game on Tuesday! So, from Monday until over a week later, it was dirty. Dishes everywhere. We'd taken the house garbage out, but she didn't take the outside can the 25 ft to the road, either. So, I'm really irritated now. Then Norma gets on my computer to check her email.

GRRRRRRR. She tells me that Stupor has been on my computer. How does she know? Well, Stupor's myspace page profile is still up on the monitor, and her last login was 7/6/08- the day before we came home. She knows my computer is not to be touched by anyone besides Norma and me. She knows! She didn't bother to ask for permission for that reason. And that was all I needed to practically LOSE MY MIND. I started cussing and so forth... even began txtg the Stupor on my cell with a simple message that read "u ddnt even ask 2 use my computer. dnt tch it ever. again." But, I took a breath... deleted the message, and thought of something better than sending a txt msg to a drunk.

I moved my computer into the room next to mine and Norma's. And whenever we're done with it, we log out, so it'll ask for a password every time someone tries to log back in. So, there you have it. I was so mad, it took me an hour to calm down and get to sleep. And I was still pissed on Monday when I woke up.

At this point, I started thinking about WHY I was allowing her to upset me like that.... And I made a smart move. I started looking for Al-Anon meetings. Stupor might be the alky from hell, deadbeat, jobless roommate, but she is on the deed to the house. We can't kick her out without legal proceedings (which we're researching currently, since Stupor hasn't worked in nearly 2 months, and even when she was, only minimally contributed... by minimally, I mean I saw her give Norma maybe $350 over the span of one month... that's $350/1 month out of the 7.5 I've been with Norma... 5 of those, I've actually lived here). And, I am not going to let her force me out, b/c that would put even more strain on Norma and I emotionally, physically and financially.

So, Tuesday night, I went to my first meeting, and it was awesome. Yesterday at noon I went to my second meeting, and it was awesome. I tried to make a third meeting today, but there was an accident on the road, traffic was backed up and I missed the meeting. But that's okay... there are meeting everyday. I'll hit another one tomorrow. I've met a lot of ppl who are new and a lot who have been in the program for many years. Hearing their stories, I heard so much of my own coming from their lips.

This is not just b/c of Stupor, though. It's my family growing up... so much of the same stuff.. My parents were not alcoholics or addicts, but the disease is there in the family. Passed along again and again. People who have lived it know how it works. The dysfunction multiplies exponentially. I'm not blaming anyone for my behavior, though. I am an adult, and I take responsibility for myself. Everyone has a messed up childhood. But you can only cast blame on others for it while you're not yet an adult. When you become an adult, it becomes YOUR problem. YOU have to deal with it and take ownership of it.

I thought I'd gotten through a lot of that old crap, but living with an alky has shown me otherwise. And I'm okay with that. Listening to other newcomers to Al Anon has made me emotional, and yes I have cried with them as they've finally told their tales, and expressed their feelings, because I can relate, on SOME level, to every person I've listened to. EVERY SINGLE ONE.

My meeting yesterday was a large one.. I'm accustomed to meetings of less than 20 ppl max, but this one exceeded that. It was tough being in a room so charged with so many feelings.. but I liken it to having a physical wound. It HAS to be cleansed in order to heal, even if the cleaning of it stings like hell. It was a cleansing experience.

So, I'm starting to see that I can't control or manipulate everything to my own liking. I have to concede that the Lord and Lady (my higher powers) are in control, and my responsibility is to learn and grow and love, NOT stagnate and hate and try to make everything fit MY idea of acceptable. It is not my alcohol. If I see it in the refrigerator, it is not mine to pour down the drain. It is not my place to tell Stupor what to do with her life. It is only my responsibility to tell her where the buck stops with ME. But I can't set my boundaries clearly until I know exactly what those boundaries ARE. I can't tell her to clean up after herself. I CAN ask her to not leave a mess in the kitchen, so that I can easily prepare meals. I will clean up after myself, after all. I can tell her that I expect her to be able to contribute towards the bills and household items. I can't make her pay bills, though. If she chooses not to clean up after herself, I CAN set her dirty dishes aside.

It's a struggle not to scream and yell and fume and write angry notes (which I am NOTORIOUS for writing in order to avoid a full-fledged confrontation). It's hard not to look down as the "wronged party," and try to make her pay for her transgressions. So, the meetings are helping me stay focused on what I am doing or not doing, rather than what she is or is not doing. And it's exactly what I need.

Norma's been very supportive.. I really like the Tues night group, and I told her that I may go to that in lieu of going to her hockey game, b/c I like that group a lot. She understood. I hope that I am able to learn healthier ways of living.. and healthier ways of relating to the people in my life. I hope that it will strengthen my relationships with those I care about. Mostly, more than anything, I believe that it will make me a happier, healthier person in my own right.

If someone has a problem or issue that brings them down. I don't have to go down with them. Let THEM be the one to obsess over how much they're drinking.

Ciao... :)

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09:08 - 7/1/08: It’s beach-time!
Current mood: tired

Norma and I are leaving for NC's beaches early tomorrow morning. She has a hockey game tonight, and then afterwards, we're heading to VA to drop off Harley (my dog) at Liz's place in VA, catch a few "z's" there and get up early tomorrow morning and head to NC. I'm so looking forward to it.

The only bad things are a- we have to come back on Sunday, and b- I'm self-employed, so no vacation pay for me. But, I NEED some time off... it won't be enough, I'm sure... especially with it being summer.. people are traveling left and right and need pet sitters and dog walkers like crazy. But, it's money... Can't live without THAT.

I know I should be packing things, going to the bank, going to the pharmacy, etc., but instead I'm blogging. I'm tired, basically. These past few days have worn me out. We've been going back and forth to Norma's job b/c she had to get her 2009 budget submitted yesterday, and she hasn't been able to get it done before now b/c of the constant interruptions at work. It's summer camp time for her,and things are nuts right now. And then there's been the hockey games she's been scoring, and my dog walks on top of that. I feel exhausted.

I plan on thoroughly basking in the sun, on the sand and in the water while in NC.. Maybe do some reading, get our pedal on, maybe get some ice-time at a public skate there... Gods, I need to get my clothes packed. LOL

I hope Norma's team wins their game tonight. They're playing the number one team, the Red Hot Chili Peppers.. I hope that Black Ice can cool them off a bit. There's a certain player I wouldn't mind seeing lose, and DEFINITELY some players I'd love to see WIN!!

We shall see... I'll let you all know how things went when we get back from our vacation. Cheers!

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14:03 - 6/2/2008: Just don’t ask "what next?"...
Current mood: bitchy

The good news is, I never asked "what next?" but I thought it. I guess that's just as bad. I could've opted for a sternly thought "FUCK!" but I'd thought that multiple times already. If you're curious what would put me in such a mood, I will tell you in chronological order.

1: Most of you who know me fairly well already know that I've applied for Disability through Social Security. I've been denied. I received the letter a week ago last Saturday.

2: I totaled my car last Wednesday.

3: My old townhouse is going into foreclosure. My ex called me today b/c the Realtor called her to say the locks had been changed on the doors.

Now here's the bright f'ing side:

1a: Denial for first-time applicants is the norm. There is a 4-part appeals process of which I will be taking part.

2a: I lived through the accident. No one was seriously injured, and there were only two other drivers/vehicles involved. One of them was a Tow Truck(!), and the other vehicle was a white Acura. Why couldn't it have been an Escort? or maybe another Saturn? I guess it was my day to live, because the car sustained "heavy" and "significant" frame damage, according to the appraiser. Me, I walked away without a scratch. My left arm and left side of my neck were sore the next day, but that's all. Still... It's now Monday, and I'm wondering when I'm going to hear from my adjustor with a settlement offer.

3a: No big surprise on the foreclosure. Neither myself nor Liz have lived there for months. We did get a Realtor, who supposedly attempted to sell the place, but obviously that was pointless. We knew this would likely happen. It still sucks.

So, 3 life-changing events in less than 10 days. Thank the Gods there aren't any kids involved in any of this mess.

So.... 1.......2.......3........ AHHHHHHHHHHH!

So, fuck it. For the rest of today, I just don't give a damn. I can give a damn tomorrow, but for today.. fuck it all. I am broke. I am tired. I have cramps and a migraine. And frankly, I just want to make myself as small as possible until the insanity blows over.

So, a warning: Anyone with bad news?? WAIT. Unless you really want to see me lose my god-damn mind, then WAIT. What I really need is to be left alone until I'm no longer the next disaster waiting to happen.

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