Im in the Carnavale....

My last blog is my entry...vote for me please!

0020, 0057 20, 2007 - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Coitus Interruptus Maximus
Current mood: crazy
Category: Romance and Relationships

They had made their plans for a brief interlude.  Trying to get away from all civilization, they had looked online to find a remote location, had scouted out the area beforehand and had planned meticulously.

She has packed a picnic lunch of fruit and cheeses, shaved every inch and had bought some ruffled lacy underwear.  It was their first anniversary, and it was going to be mind-blowing.  The anitcipation was filling her with lustful thoughts and she smiled as she drove to the secret location.

Once there, they hiked up a gradual incline through woods and grasses until the were on a bed of moss overlooking a large lake of deep blue.  They laid out a blanket and began kissing.  Their hands groped each other, their tongues danced together.  Their breathing became ragged.  His hands were all over her breasts, tearing at the bra until it was only a memory, suckling her nipples.  She massaged his hard staff in her hands until he almost went insane with the need to be inside her.  He tore off her ruffled panties and with one thrust they were joined in blissful union. 

Suddenly a faint jingle made them look up.  Out of the bushes, a dog bounded.  It ran up to them and sat, looking at them curiously.  They laughed and with a moan were back at making love.  When they looked up a few minute later and saw the dog still there, she made a comment about the dog wanting to give pointers on doggy style.  They were both in the throes of passion, on the edge of ecstasy, when they heard another noise....and a man stepped out of the bushes.

She shreiked and ducked her head under the covers.  He man looked at him gravely and asked, "Do you realize you are trespassing?"

"Uh....no, sir."

"I would have expected this from teenagers, not mature adults.  Get dressed and get off my property before I press charges."

As fast as was humanly possible, the couple threw their clothes on and hightailed if off the hill.  He asked her if she wanted to "do it" in the backseat of the car.  she replied she had done enough of that while listening to Def Leppard in high school and that he should get a clue and grow up.

When they got home, she put on a mud mask and did her toenails while he masturbated to internet porn in the other room.

Currently listening : Hysteria By Def Leppard Release date: 25 October, 1990

0019, 0014 19, 2007 - 11 Comments - 20 Kudos - Add Comment

My Heart Runs Cold, My Memory Has Just Been Sold (June blog orgy)
Current mood: creative
Category: Life

After I had my son, my stepfather very sternly said that he refused to babysit two kids.  One had been hard enough and my son had special needs.  I had been fortunate enough to have a year maternity leave (thanks Canadian gov't!).  I was going to have to go back to work soon and leave my darling children with some stranger.  I posted an ad on Job Bank, and had a few interviews.  I hired two girls, figuring one could fill in if the other was unavailable.  The first girl quit within the week, leaving me with just Anne Marie.

Anne Marie was 19 and one credit shy of graduating high school, but working on it by correspondence.  She did not have a driver's licence, but her mom worked out this way, so she got a ride.  The kids loved her...my husband did too.  She had a very athletic figure and had run for Miss Sudbury.

Some little things she did bugged me a bit.  I came home from work early one day and found her asleep.  She would come over all dishivelled and shower and dress here.  My daughter (3 at the time) told me she took both of the kids on bus rides a lot and left them with friends at the downtown Timmies.  I chalked it up to typical teenage behaviour and cautioned her to stay awake and keep watch of the kids herself.  Even though I didn't pay her much, she always seemed to have a lot of money.

One day she didn't show up to work.  I had to call my stepdad in in order to get to work.  I called her place and her mom said she hadn't seen her either and hadn't since the day before.  She didn't show up for two weeks.  She called me and begged for another chance.  I asked her why she had just up and left and she said because some guy had dragged her into the bushes and raped her while she was walking.  She knew this guy and she was scared he would find her.  I offered to let her stay at my place instead of her running again.

The first night at my place she went out in the evening and came in at dawn.  I wasn't working that day.  I went out for my shift the following day.  When I returned, she and my kids were nowhere to be found.  No note, no phone call....gone.  She eventually arrived in her boyfriend's car...with two babies and no car seats.  I had had enough.  I told her to pack her bags and go home, that she had no sense of responsibility.

She very mutely packed her bags and left....no argument, no tears, just..oh well.  I called her mother to break the news to her and she told me a whole bunch of stuff.  Apparently little miss sunshine had crashed her boyfriend's car underage, explaining her lack of licence and she had been at the San for awhile for manic depression.  She had a history of running away.

Fast forward a couple of years later.  I am working with a dude who is dating....you guessed it...Anne Marie.  He fell in love with her and moved her into his place.  Then he started noticing two and two didn't add up.  She said she was working as a health care aide at a private residence on night shifts.  However, she had been told not to stay there the whole shift, but to wait in her car in a parking lot until she was needed.  Even though she made a small wage, she would peel off bills like it was nothing.  He was driving her car one day and found condoms, lube and dildoes in the glove compartment.  She said when she was bored waiting in these parking lots that she would masturbate???  He checked her cell phone bill and found numerous calls to an escort service. 

He was devistated to think this sweet innocent girl was a hooker...until I told him my story.  Put together, the whole thing made perfect sense....and was totally crazy...all at the same time.

Currently listening : Freeze Frame By The J. Geils Band Release date: 25 October, 1990

0005, 0013 05, 2007 - 20 Comments - 22 Kudos - Add Comment

Good Comes Out of Bad - May Blog Orgy
Current mood: contemplative
Category: Life

On Mother's Day 1978 my father committed suicide.  He was away at school when he hung himself.  He left no note and few clues as to the reason why.

My mother has said one of the most difficult things she has had to do was to tell us our daddy was gone...forever.  I remember that day vividly.  I was sitting on my bed getting dressed in a striped t-shirt.  I cried, because I loved my daddy.  I was only 7 and really believed it was all magically going to get fixed somehow.

My mom let me go to the viewing and that just confused me more.  My father just looked as if he were sleeping.  Family and friends swooped down on our house with food and pats on the head.  This was soon replaced by whispers and sideways glances.  My sister and I were teased at school for not having a dad.  my mom hadn't told us the reason he had died.  When we were older, she finally did confide in us and it was as if he had died again.  I was 14 and all I could think was he chose to leave us permanently.

Since then, I have done a lot of research on depression and had my own battles with it.  Although I still believe suicide is a very selfish act, I can see why some people feel they have no other option. 

In 1982, my mother began dating the man who eventually became my stepfather in 1997.  This man is a treasure, even though he can be a pain in the butt.  He looks after my kids while I work and spends loads of time with them.  He does my handy work and will even toss in a load of laundry.  He is generous with his time and money and he wants no compensation for it.

I guess you can say our loss paved the way for something good to come into our lives.  I think that's the way you have to look at it.

Currently reading : The Heart Is a Lonely Hunter (Oprah's Book Club) By Carson McCullers Release date: 21 April, 2004

0008, 0003 08, 2007 - 23 Comments - 34 Kudos - Add Comment

Like a Bull Seeing Crimson
Current mood: busy
Category: Life

I really wish someone would have told me that dressing in a totally crimson outfit while in the Toronto bus terminal was a bad idea. 

The year was 1992 and I was 21.  I was wearing a crimson wrap around shirt and matching jeans from the Gap with a crimson light jacket.  I was coming from London where I was going to school, and had a layover of about 2 hours before heading to Sudbury.  I was hungry and decided to lunch at the KFC.  I was sitting alone at a table for two when a drunk, dirty homeless man stumbled in and sat directly across from me and demanded money.  I was very shy and tried ignoring him and telling him politely to move on.  This did nothing.  The chinese manager came up and asked if I wanted this man with me and of course I didn't.  He booted the man out.  After lunch I headed back into the terminal.  The homeless man homed in on me.  He followed me around and demanded money.  A pimp (no joke, he looked like Huggy Bear) followed me around too telling me to come work for him.  A security guard finally shooed them off me and told me I should get my suitcase and go change.  He said the crimson was just attracting all the crazies and I should know better than to do anything like that in Toronto.....Now I do!

btw..I am reading this book and it is awesome!

Currently reading : Guilt By John Lescroart Release date: 10 August, 1998

0010, 0012 10, 2007 - 39 Comments - 40 Kudos - Add Comment

Mom! He's Not With the Program!
Current mood: accomplished
Category: Life

In spring 1997 I was in nursing school in Pembroke.  My husband was selling cars (which he wasn't great at) and installing pool tables on the side.  We barely saw each other.  April 28th was my last day of second semester.  I finished my shift up at the hospital and came to to a home cooked meal.  Needless to say, hubby and I got it on.  This was a rarity, and that is why I remember it.

The lilacs were blooming and this year instead of enjoying their aroma, it seemed way too strong.  I felt really draggy and dizzy.  I had started third semester of school and thought it was because I had a heavy course load.  I had my period....and then had pms symptoms.  My boobs were really sore.  We were taking maternity nursing then, and the textbook had common symptoms of pregnancy.  Reading through, I started wondering if that was what my problem was.

I stopped at the drug store on my way home from school to pick up a test.  I took it home and peed on the stick...and didn't have to wait.  Two lines came up instantly.  I was sure they were wrong.  I ran back to the mall and got 2 more tests and peed on them too.  They said the same thing.

Hubby came home and I told him.  He just looked at me and asked how that happened.  I jokingly said...if you don't know how babies are made.  He wasn't impressed.  I made an appoitment with a dr. the next day to be super sure.  His test came back positive as well.  We drove home to Sudbury to tell our families.  Nobody was happy.  I was 27 and married and nobody thought I should have this baby.

I came back home and threw myself into school.  That's when the morning sickness hit.  Actually it was all day sickness.  I couldn't stand to be near food.  I had my stepdaughter visiting and my sister looked after her while I slept or wandered around with a bucket, looking green.  I missed a whole week of school before I saw the dr. and he put me on Diclectin.  That helped some.  I did my medication administration rotation during this time.  One of my patients barfed and I ran for a bathroom.  The teacher told me I had abandoned a patient and wanted me kicked out of school.  I had to go in front of a panel and explain myself and the reasons why such a thing wouldn't happen again.  As it turned out, I was allowed to stay, but they told me when the semester was up, they would prefer if I didn't return as their liability insurance didn't cover if I had a miscarriage.  I finished off my clinical rotation and then had a month to pack up my house again and move back to Sudbury.

I began to show, which I thought was amazing.  Moving during that time was hard, but my family helped out a lot.  My husband had gotten another car sales job which didn't pay the bills and I couldn't work due to my every growing belly.  My husband decided to take his AZ licence and go into trucking.  Because he already had a DZ, in a week he upgraded, did the exam and had a job.  Of course the job was long haul.  I spent the rest of my pregnancy pretty much alone.

Near the end of my pregnancy, my OB noticed my blood pressure was really high.  He ordered daily non-stress tests.  I was strapped into a chair and given a buzzer to count the baby's movements.  My due date came and went.  I went to see the OB the next day and he told me to book myself into the hospital as my blood pressure was alarming.  I spent two very boring days reading and staring out the window at the snow. 

On the Friday, I was induced at 8 am.  Except for the feeling I had been sitting too long on a hard bench, I really had no pain.  In fact, by 4 pm I was sleeping when the OB came in.  He upped the oxytocin and then I got into some hard labour.  My husband couldn't stand it and left go watch a movie with a friend.  my mom sat with me while I breated and endured this pain and told her I couldn't do it anymore.  Hubby called around 7 pm and was all excited about this movie Baseketball, and I told him to shut up and get into the hospital NOW!  He came, but wasn't really interested and I told my mom that he "wasn't with the program".  At 8 pm, the OB checked me and said I had only gotten to 3 cm and the baby hadn't decended, so I had two choices....keep going, which would take a long time or have a c-section.  I opted for the latter.

They got me prepped and then called for Huby to come in.  He wasn't anywhere to be found.  They kept asking me if I knew where he was.  Finally, they said screw him and cut me open.  Hubby finally arrived (he was yakking with friends) just as they were pulling my daughter out.  She peed right away and gave a cry, but not for long.  They laid her in my arms and she was just very quiet and content, looking at me with dark brown eyes...as if she knew what was going on.  I was in love!  Everthing I had gone through to have her was so worth it now.

Currently watching : Laugh and Learn About Childbirth - Lamaze and Beyond Release date: 01 September, 2003

0014, 0024 14, 2007 - 34 Comments - 30 Kudos - Add Comment

Down By the Bayshore....Feb Blog Orgy
Current mood: grumpy
Category: Jobs, Work, Careers

I have had quite a few jobs over the years, but I would have to say the second last one I had was the best.  I worked as a visiting nurse for a home health agency, not the one I work for now.

My job consisted of travelling around Sudbury/Manitoulin, visiting people in their homes to provide nursing services. 

This is the part that kicks ass.  We could bill $20 for each client.  Even if I stayed there all of 5 minutes, I got paid an hour's wages.  That meant I could work 4 hours and still make an 8-hour day.  If you had a client you couldn't stand you didn't have to stay with them long. Supervision was next to nil.  I had my client lists for the week faxed to my home.  I left my house in the morning, saw my clients, and returned home without even setting foot near an office.  I only had to go to the office once a month to pick up/drop off paperwork.  All communication was through a voice-mail system.  The best part was it was "elect to work" which means you could tell them when you wanted to work, and that is when you would.  If you needed time off, you booked yourself off. 

You might be asking why did I leave this utopia?  There was a fatal flaw in this whole system.  If the gov't cut back on how many clients could be on care at one time, they wouldn't admit new clients.  Bayshore didn't guarantee anything.  When all my clients died and went to nursing homes, I was left with one.  My husband didn't see the point in me driving across town to see one person with the price of gas.  I begged and pleaded with Bayshore to give me more clients, but there were none.  This went on for about a month.  I looked for and found another job.

The new job didn't work out (company went bankrupt) and I tried to get back on at Bayshore.  They still didn't have any clients and refused to hire me back, saying they had just laid off 10 nurses.  Right now, 18 months later, Bayshore is in a hiring boom.  I can't apply because I signed a non-competition clause with the company I work for now (hell in a handbasket).  Even so, they have changed their policies and it would not be the same environment.

Currently reading : Nursing Care Plans: Nursing Diagnosis and Intervention (Nursing Care Plans: Nursing Diagnosis & Intervention) By Meg Gulanick Release date: 28 September, 2006

0026, 0029 26, 2007 - 25 Comments - 24 Kudos - Add Comment

Stoop and Poop
Current mood: chipper
Category: Life

This is my entry for Kelly's blog contest!

When I was about 2 or 3,  I began thinking that it would be great to be a dog, simply to be able to crap wherever I was and not have to stop what I was doing and head for the can.  I decided to try it out. 

I took a pail of sand from my sand box and sat in the middle of our driveway and had a nice satisfying dump.  I then brought my steaming surprise to my dad.  He wasn't terribly impressed and gave me "a talking to" that poop went in the toilet.  That experience hadn't convinced me...so I went ahead and did it again!  This time my dad's hand had a meeting with my ass.

0016, 0010 16, 2007 - 4 Comments - 6 Kudos - Add Comment

F*ck Romance, Give Me a Shot of What He's Having Please!
Current mood: bitchy
Category: Romance and Relationships

Every time my husband and I plan a romantic evening or trip, something always comes along to ruin it. 

The worst example of this was our wedding anniversary in 2003.  Our anniversary and my birthday are two days apart.(because my husband is really clueless when it comes to special occasions...I figured give him one general time and he'd remember something special happened then)  We had a group of 11 people coming over to our house for dinner.  Afterwards, my folks were going to look after the kids so we could go on our first date in years.(seriously)  We had been meticulously planning this occasion for months.

I had gone out with the kids for a bit.  When I got home, hubby was on the couch, pale and groaning.  Apparently, he had gone out to his transport to hook up to a trailer.  While he was cranking the dolly legs, his back gave out.  He crawled home and went into the medicine cabinet to look for a pain killer.  He came up with some expired Talwin from when I had hernia surgery.  He figured because he's a larger dude that taking twice the recommended dose would be ok.

So here I am all ready for a night of friends, fun and romance.  Here's my hubby, in dire pain and now nauseated from taking a narcotic overdose.  I insist he get to emerg.  My father in law and my stepdad help me load Hubby into our van. 

We hadn't had dinner, so hubby insisted I grab something at the McDonald's Drive Thru on the way to the hospital.  As I am being passed the food through my window, hubby starts barfing big time out of his.  I am eating a Quarter Pounder and he's puking...all the way to the hospital.

After triage, we were asked to go to Ambulatory Care.  Hubby passed out.  That was a welcome change from the whining.  It was a hot June day.  Sitting with a bunch of sick, smelly people in a sweltering room was fantastic!  After waiting there for 3 hours, Hubby is finally seen by a Dr.  He gets a nice shot of Morphine and Gravol in the ass.  It turns out after tests that Hubby had a herniated disk, which means he won't be working for awhile.

Not only did we not get romance that night, but for three weeks afterwards Hubby was so drugged out on Oxycontin that more than slurring and gesturing was too much for him. 

We've had a few anniversaries since then, and we can now laugh about it.  We just do things spur of the moment now...just in case.....our plans change!

0015, 0017 15, 2007 - 1 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

January Blog Orgy....The long and winding road
Current mood: cranky
Category: Goals, Plans, Hopes

When I grew up I wanted to be a teacher.

My dad had been one, and since he died when I was so young, I decided to follow in his footsteps would be a fitting tribute.

I went to university and planned all my courses around becoming a teacher.  In my second year there, an illness began that was to haunt me to this day.  Two and a half years were basically wasted at school.  My family finally found out about my trouble and I was able to graduate with a general B.A.  The only teacher's college that would even look at me was a french-language one here in Sudbury.  After taking all the aptitude tests, they concluded I was not "french" enough for them.

I had worked at the local hospital in various capacities since the age of 17.  This was mostly due to the fact my mom and aunt were managers there.  My mom hated her job, but being a widow, it was necessary to keep it.  Time and time again she would tell my sister and I, "never become a nurse, and if you do become one, never go into management".

I got a job as a ward clerk at the hospital, and through hospital politics, I was demoted to linen aide within the year.  I had been in my job 18 months, when I got a lay-off notice.  I learned from HR that the government was paying laid-off workers' tuitions to go back to school in health fields.  I decided to become a nurse.  This was simply because I used to love reading my mom's nursing mags while eating breakfast growing up.  The only school that would take me without me going back to high school to get grade 12 math (took it, failed it) was in Pembroke, ON.  The government renegged on the funding, but I got OSAP instead.  We packed up and left town.  I returned a year later with a practical nursing certificate and a bun in the oven.

I got into management simply because I hated working shifts.  Managers usually do the bulk of their work during business hours on weekdays.  I should have been a teacher...they get summers off too!

Currently listening : Just Can't Get Enough: New Wave Hits of the '80s, Vol. 14 By Various Artists Release date: 20 June, 1995

0024, 0051 24, 2007 - 29 Comments - 34 Kudos - Add Comment