In which real life reflects movies

Go, me. I'm all graduated and stuff, and I'm preparing for graduate school this fall while working a pretty decent office job this summer.

Speaking of grad school...

(Warning: Office Space spoiler here, if you haven't seen it and care about that sort of thing.)



There's a scene near the end of Office Space where Peter goes to pay back the money he and his friends stole with a cashier's check (I think--it's been a while).

He goes in to work after hours, slides the check under his boss's locked door, then walks away.

...and two seconds later, dives frantically to the floor in front of his boss's office, trying to pull the check back out from the gap under the door.

I'm telling you all this because I just submitted applications for grad school student loans for a total amount that's somewhere around...well, what you would pay for a new low-end BMW.

I've never empathized with that scene more.

Currently reading : Ruled Britannia By Harry Turtledove Release date: 02 May, 2006

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Been a while, hasn't it?

I don't know if anyone's actually reading these, but anyone who is might be interested to know that I just got accepted to the MFA in Staging Shakespeare program at the University of Exeter.

In England.

Holy shit.

If you know anything about me at all and read up on the program, you'll know that this is something I can't not do. I just have to scrape up the money and work out the logistics of this whole thing.

Fortunately, the student loan people are raising their annual borrowing limits for grad students to just about what my tuition is, so it looks like that's covered, at least. Now I just have to find enough money for moving and living expenses, figure out the whole moving thing (including three cats, mind you), and get my ass to England for two years, if not longer. (I'm considering trying to get a job and/or going on to a Ph.D. over there once I'm done with the MFA.)

I'm alternately incredibly excited and completely fucking terrified--I'm going to be borrowing enough money to buy a low-end BMW, and I'll be paying it off for the rest of my life. Still, how often do you get to go study Shakespeare in England, right? And it's only money, after all...

Send me some words of encouragement, won't you? I'll be over in the corner, drinking heavily and taking tranquilizers.

Currently listening : Flesh + Blood By Roxy Music Release date: 14 March, 2000

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Well, crap.
Current mood: Bored

Once again I've managed to get to the end of the year without making any plans. How the hell do I keep doing this to myself? I'm reduced to ringing in the new year by playing games on my computer and drinking at home because I'm a.) too broke to go out, and b.) not crass enough to crash the downstairs neighbors' party.

Bleah. Maybe next year I'll manage to get invited to something close by and relatively low-cost.

On the up side, I got an iPod for Christmas. A used one, mind you, but an iPod nonetheless. Also, I survived the semester with straight A grades again. Yay, me.

Currently listening : Nerdcore Rising By Mc Frontalot Release date: 26 November, 2005

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Gaaaaah.
Current mood: stressed

Okay, the break's over tomorrow and in the next three weeks I have to:

- Finish rehearsing and then present my play for directing class
- Type up my final analysis questions and self-evaluation for the same class
- Type out my journal for my acting class
- Memorize and present my final acting class scene
- Write my final theatre history paper, which also serves as my writing sample for
grad school applications
- Present my final fight scene in stage combat

On top of this, I have to memorize another monologue for the Shakespeare festival audition I have on December 18th and do at least two of my four grad school applications by the end of the year.

Did I say Gah! yet? Wish me luck. My head may a splode.

Currently listening : Thing a Week One By Jonathan Coulton Release date: 01 August, 2006

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I R SMRT...apparently.

I took the GRE yesterday. While the analytical writing portion still has to be scored by an actual human being, the preliminary scores the computer spit out were 750 verbal and 650 math. Not bad, no? I'm a little less thrilled with the math score, but what the hell--I'm applying to theatre-related programs. Theoretically they should be paying attention to my verbal and analytical scores.

I'm also just a bit drunk at the moment for completely unrelated reasons.

Currently listening : Pirate Prude By Helium Release date: 05 April, 1994

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I have a lot to do in the next few weeks.
Current mood: apprehensive

I hope some of you are still reading this, because I've mostly recovered from my birthday--part of it is being submerged in school again (we're at that burnout point in the semester where you can't really pay attention to anything else), and part of it is meeting someone who is absolutely made of awesome a couple of weeks ago.

I think I've mostly decided to go down the academic track, mostly due to what my acting instructor/department chair told me--that I'm fully capable of earning a PhD, and that I have the kind of love of learning that would let me enjoy the process. (The fact that it's much easier to get a job with a PhD than a performance-based MFA doesn't hurt, either.)

So now I'm in the process of getting ready for the GRE and cranking out four or five grad school applications by the end of the year. Wish me luck and pity me, won't you? If I get into the program I want and do well, within another four years I'll be able to put "Doctor" in front of my name and be an authority on Elizabethan/Jacobean theatre. Nice, no? Again, if you had told me even five years ago I'd be in this place...

I've got a strange feeling about all this, actually. It's one I've had before, really, but it's no less strange for all that. It's--don't laugh, okay?

Starting the process of attempting a PhD in theatre history feels like studying to be ordained as clergy.

There it is. I'm not a terribly spiritual person by any stretch of the imagination. Theatre is about as close as I come these days. It's got a ritual element to it, an element of awe and majesty if you do it right, and a hugely involved history that fascinates me. Theatre is...pretty much my church. (To the point where on an opening night--and I don't usually tell people this--I'll make a point of showering as close as possible to getting into costume and makeup. It's my own version of ritual ablution.)

Getting a doctorate in the subject feels like...like getting fitted for vestments.

(Good thing I've been drinking. I don't think I'd admit any of this otherwise.)

Currently listening : Viva Hate By Morrissey Release date: 25 October, 1990

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Huzzah?

So...today was my birthday. I'm not quite sure how I feel about that. On the one hand, I'm better off than last year--I'm in better physical shape, I'm taking classes that are a little more interesting, I just got done doing a Shakespeare play I enjoyed quite a bit, and I'm one more semester away from my degree.

On the other hand, I have yet to figure out what I'm going to do with my life after I graduate...whether I'm just going to move to a larger theatre-type city or go to graduate school on top of that. Oh, and if I go to graduate school, which track I'm going down--the performance/acting one or the academic/theatre history one. I'm interested in both, and can't for the life of me decide which appeals to me more.

Oh, and I'm also staring down the barrel of forty. That's not a great feeling, if you were wondering.

Currently reading : The Shakespeare Wars: Clashing Scholars, Public Fiascoes, Palace Coups By Ron Rosenbaum Release date: 19 September, 2006

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It's amazing what a week will do, really.
Current mood: Better.

Here it is only seven days later, and I'm feeling much more stable, thank you. I'm still a little stressed about school--I have a paper due by Thursday, and we're auditioning actors for our directing projects tomorrow and Wednesday--but that's pretty much normal for this time of year. The worst parts of the last week are over with.


My first graduate school application is almost complete. Before too long, I'll be finding out if I have a shot at going to England and studying Shakespeare for two years to get an MFA...and if so, figuring out how the hell to pay for it. Keep your fingers crossed.

Currently listening : The Best of the Early Years By They Might Be Giants Release date: 01 September, 2000

11:28 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

No, seriously.
Current mood: Kind of numb

I'm feeling a bit better still. Most of the irrationality and self-loathing have passed, as far as I can tell, and I'm eating regularly again. Also, we're moving on to Shakespeare in my acting class tomorrow, which I'm really looking forward to.

I'm still definitely on the "bleah" side of things, though.

Currently listening : Wish By The Cure Release date: 21 April, 1992

12:33 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Sorry about that.

I'm feeling slightly better now. Eating something after about thirty-six hours of nothing but staring at your computer and intermittently breaking down will do that.

Currently listening : Nomen Est Numen By Stuart Davis Release date: 01 April, 1996

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