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Friday, August 22, 2008
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old
this is old but i feel it today, so i'm sharing it.
I'm taking time and looking back thinking this life through. Wondering what happened seeing the twists and turns in this timeline I call life. Seeing why I think in some of the ways I do. Surrounded by bad never told no or what not to do for most of my life. Leaving no desire to do the things I am now told are bad. Then one day shielded from it all. Soon lost to myself nowhere to go but in my mind. But in time with help my wall comes down. Opening my world wide again. Bringing me to see the damage done from both me and others. Filling me with anxiety and depression. Now I have let go cutting anxiety but with a cost of throwing me deeper in to a depressed state. Coming close to losing it all through my blood. Saved by finding will to live from my friends and most of all the one I call my angel (trina). So I call this my semi-charmed life. Live life love your friends and find your will.
2:29 PM
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Sunday, August 17, 2008
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veux
je veux juste de mourir. personne ne veut plus me voir et i cant les blâmer. qui voudraient être près de quelqu'un comme moi? Je voudrais simplement, j'ai eu le courage de faire moi-même i po mes amis manquez surtout mon ami le plus proche. Je voudrais seulement m'ont appris plus français, de dire ce que je voulais.
10:59 AM
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Tuesday, August 12, 2008
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multiverse
I just thought of the universe and a multiverse. When it hit me. Why not, there could be one. From my understanding of quantum physics everything is everywhere until it is seen (proven). Its like when you cant find your keys, according to quantum physics they are everywhere till there there. So to me this means that there is a multiverse but not in the way most would think. The way I see it is there is a multiverse and at the same time there is not. So there would be one physical universe (ours) and the rest like shadows that are there and not in the same moment. Thus meaning every moment there are an infinite number of changes that could happen. But only one will become real.
12:27 AM
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Sunday, August 10, 2008
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ha
so i just broke a large glass cup. and my first thought was to smash my foot in to the shards. well that was till i noticed the blood running down my leg where a large piece was logged. and I'm now pissed off at that dam cup!
8:00 AM
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Sunday, August 03, 2008
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coming down
Whats it all come down to these days? Life seems to be turning to shit lately. And it would seem to me I'm going down and some of the people around me are as well. The thing is all these weird things keep happening to me! Like someone close to me recently asked me to kill them. This person was not kidding at all. And I felt bad that I couldn't help, nothing I could do. I have been very isolated since a little before that. Now I just sit quite in the dark with only the light of my laptop. I sit and wait, waiting for an end. It feels close at least, what ever it may be. I'm at that point again where nothing matters and every moment I die inside a little more. The worst is I don't have drinks or drugs to help me.
10:53 AM
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Monday, June 02, 2008
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who cares anyway?
Current mood:  exhausted
man this has been a long 7 months. full of many things that i cant even really put up.i need a vacation. about the only thing keeping me together is a person (you know who you are). i guess i cant really begin to start telling all the shit that has happed so i guess i won't whatever.
11:16 PM
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Wednesday, May 21, 2008
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thou
Category: Writing and Poetry
how beloved
are thou
thee can not tell
blind
by some light
but thine eyes can see
smiles
thoughts
life
1:36 AM
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Wednesday, May 07, 2008
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manic
Category: Writing and Poetry
Heart pumping. Adrenalin starts kicking in. manic on its way.
Mind starts flashing. Images run through. Mind a rush. Thoughts race.
Sit back. No way back. Life becomes a blur. The dog floats. And the world runs by.
Manic a life of its own.
1:18 AM
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Saturday, May 03, 2008
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Happy never after.
Category: Writing and Poetry
Happy never after. Hope close but still distant. Warm feelings as though from rays of the sun. now rare smiles from nowhere.
I cant help but look at what there is. Happy in my dark time. Known or not I'm happy. Not after but now. Happy never after.
3:51 PM
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Tuesday, April 29, 2008
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??????????????!
Current mood:  crappy
the madness is never ending, as death sings its tunes over my shoulder. before i know it the drool runs down my chin. all the time i know nothing. spacing out with no good feelings. i am nothing, no longer myself but an shell with no thoughts. writing hard and meaningless. i'm lost the screaming voice in the back of my mind.
11:54 PM
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