It's awards time again kids. Honestly, I was a little worried that i wouldn't be able to find a dumbass as clueless, and clearly out of touch with reality, as the Negro Please! award recipiant Charles Ray Fuller, and his 360 billion dollar check. I should have known that if i just used the patience i learned, while training and living with Monks, high in the mountains of Tibet, that all i needed would be revealed.
Today was the day....
After years and years of struggle, marches, ballots, legal battles, and fighting for the right to marry the person they choose, gays in California (you go california) will be able to get married legally, next week. Imagine my surprise today, when i read that all the time, money, filed court papers, blood, sweat and tears, were completely unneccesary. All we had to do, is call upon MTVs bacteria infested, bisexual bachelorette, Tila Tequila.
When asked, about gay marriage by Us Magazine, the only mag with the courage to ask....this, is what the hero to gays and lesbians....EVERYWHERE! had to say.
prepare yourself....
"It is because of me....i definitely think my show (Tila Tequila's Shot At Syphilis...i mean Love) has helped the movement. Before it came out, everyone was still a little apprehensive about (same sex relationships). Then they realized, 'Wow, everyone is really into this stuff, and it is fine. The next thing you know, (POOF!) gay marriage is legal."
I Know!!
Of all the shows that have ever been on television, to feature gay storylines, and gay characters......it took Tila Tequila, dating her way thru a group of the saddest, and most pathetic men and woman, gathered together at one time, to make the California Supreme court, rule in favor of gay marriage.
To that, i say.......BITCH PLEASE!
The First annual Bitch Please! goes to Tila Tequila
(i wish i could take credit for the picture...i only had to wade thru about 500 google images of her nakedness, before i found one that didn't make me wanna hurl.)
but wait.....there's more.
when asked if she's fallen in love, sadly Tila says, she won't fall in love with a boy or girl. Why?
"I am going to Africa," she proclaimed, "I think maybe I will fall in love in Africa."
You know what that means, the end of genocide, famine, female circumcision, war, government corruption, desertification and AIDS, is near.
THAT’S WHAT FRIENDS ARE FOR
Current mood: inspired
Category: Friends
I'M SO INSPIRED BY THIS STORY, I'M GOING TO TRY MY BEST TO MAKE IT THRU THE REST OF THE DAY, WITHOUT CURSING ANYONE OUT, OR TRYING TO PUT A CURSE ON THEM. I WILL NOT WISH ANYONE DEAD(EVEN MY CRAZY-ASS NEIGHBOR MARY...THAT'S GONNA ROUGH) I WILL THINK ONLY POSITIVE THOUGHTS, WHEN I THINK OF JOHN McCAIN AS OUR NEXT PRESIDENT, AND I WILL BE EXTRA NICE TO STEVE.
BUT THIS TIME TOMORROW...ALL BETS ARE OFF.
Currently
listening
:
Esperanza
By
Esperanza Spalding
Release date: 2008-05-20
Earthquakes, floods, locusts, and Clay Aiken fathering a child (without the sex, of course.)
Clay Aiken is expanding the ranks of the Claynation by one, is expecting a child with music producer Jaymes Foster this summer.
The sister of music kingpin David Foster, the baby mama is a Grammy winner who worked with Aiken on several albums, including A Thousand Different Ways and his most recent release, On My Way Here.
Baby Daddy
Artifically inseminated....obviously desperate for a child before she's dead baby mama.
possible outcome
i'm just sayin...
Currently
watching
:
Shelter Release date: 2008-05-27
SAC DE DOUCHE!!
Current mood: irritated
Category: Pets and Animals
THAT'S FRENCH FOR DOUCHE BAG!!
I'm not a violent person, but something about these pictures...makes me want to punch him....a couple of times. I don't think the POTUS, should be rubbing crotches with freshly graduated cadats, or comparing biceps. At this point in his term, monkey boy just doesn't care....they probably played beer pong, shortly after these pics were taken. No doubt Laura, went on a Funyun run.
on a less evolved, and more shallow tip...that cadat, is pretty hot!
Currently
watching
:
Shelter Release date: 2008-05-27
NEGRO PLEASE!!!
Current mood: overstimulated
Category: Life
Charles Ray Fuller, 21, of Crowley, was arrested on April 22 on an accusation of forgery, police said.
He's been accused of attempting to pass a $360 billion check, which he claims was given to him by his girlfriend's mother to start a record business.
THREE HUNDRED AND SIXTY BILLION DOLLARS!!!!
The personal check was not made out to Mr. Fuller and when the bank contacted the check owner, the woman said she did not write a check for $360 billion.
REALLY!! she didn't have that, just sitting around in her bank account.
This dude, is the first recipient of my new annual award.....the
there are more awards....the 'bitch please', the 'oh no they didn't', 'the hell to the nah', and the 'zip it' stay tuned
Out With The Old Leg, In With The New Ass!
Current mood: chipper
Category: News and Politics
*Woman Goes for Leg Operation, Gets New Anus Instead
A German retiree is taking a hospital to court after she went in for a leg operation and got a new anus instead, the Daily Telegraph is reporting.
The woman woke up to find she had been mixed up with another patient suffering from incontinence who was to have surgery on her sphincter.
The clinic in Hochfranken, Bavaria, has since suspended the surgical team.
Now the woman is planning to sue the hospital. She still needs the leg operation and is searching for another hospital to do it.
1. No, you’re not a bad person for laughing until tears fell from yours eyes, and nearly chocking to death, while your poor confused dog tried her best to help you.
2. For the record, if there was a picture of this......old leg, or new anus, you can trust and believe that you would be looking at it, right now because that would be too good to pass up.
WHO KNEW? RONNIE, THAT’S WHO!
Current mood: sick
Category: News and Politics
Direct quote from the REAGAN DIARIES.
The entry is dated May 17, 1986.
"A moment I've been dreading. George brought his ne're-do-well son(gwb) around this morning and asked me to find the kid a job. Not the political one who lives in Florida. The one who hangs around here all the time looking shiftless. This so-called kid is already almost 40 and has never had a real job. Maybe I'll call Kinsley over at The New Republic and see if they'll hire him as a contributing editor or something. That looks like easy work."
a shiftless ne're do well....thanks for the heads up, ron.
Currently
listening
:
Made of Bricks
By
Kate Nash
Release date: 10 September, 2007
so yesterday out of nowhere, in the middle of ugly betty, steve turns to me and says, "sometimes i fantasize and have dreams about adrienne barbeau." i thought about asking for the dirty details, but decided that giving myself a new complex to get over, wasn't really worth it. plus, some of the things that kevin spacey and i have gotten ourselves into, are better kept locked up tight inside my head....forever! and honestly adrienne barbeau, was and still is pretty hot....more importantly she starred in Cannibal Women in the Avocado Jungle of Death....so who can really blame him?
"they're an ancient commune of feminists, so radical, so militant, so left of center they... they eat their men."
ahhh! pure gold
Currently
listening
:
Neptune City
By
Nicole Atkins
Release date: 30 October, 2007
weird
bitchy
inspired
scared
irritated
overstimulated
chipper
sick
relaxed
jealous
