Dedicated to my poetry readers
Current mood: determined
Category: Writing and Poetry

Before I start with my blog I want to say that this is dedicated to every single person who has ever read my poetry. I remember back two years when I started posting my poetry up. I never imagined I would receive the amount of support and appreciation as I've been given since. Today I'm still surprised and appreciative of what everyone has to say about my work. Thank you. This might sound like I'm writing a goodbye to posting my poetry up but that's simply not the case. I am however going to be taking a big break. It wasn't until recently that I realized my words have more of an impact than I first thought. Ever imagined is more like it. I've also come to realize that I don't want to be a poet anymore-I want to become a true writer. Writing poetry has been great but after awhile something inside me has wanted more. It's time that I take everything you the readers have told me and put it into my next challenges. Currently I'm working on a movie script that I want to get done in a few months which needs my complete attention-hence the break. After that I want to write a novel but I'll be writing a lot more poetry once my script is done. I want every piece of writing I do to be the best that it can possibly be and I will not stop until I accomplish that. I would never have wanted to achieve these goals had it not been for the responses I got from my poetry. Like I've said again and again, without you reading my poetry I wouldn't have the confidence that I do or the drive to deliver a product that's undeniable and the best. As for my poetry book, it's still going to come. In January I'll be moving to California and when I do things will start to pick up with that. With the amount of people that do read my poetry on a regular basis I thought a blog like that would be something of importance. I really don't have much else to say. If people want to respond to this that would be nice but just reading it is good enough as well. Also, even though I don't consider myself much of a "blogger", I would have no problem posting actual blogs about certain events or my thoughts if that would be of an interest to anybody. Once again, thanks to all my readers, I appreciate every single one of you! As always feel free to respond, comment, or message me, I'd love to talk to you. I shall return with poetry late fall!

Currently listening : Shwayze By Shwayze Release date: 2008-08-19

3:47 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Solitary Tear
Current mood: blessed
Category: Writing and Poetry

Two things I've come to realize this past month. I slack too much at posting new poetry and I really like writing this part of my blog. Okay I've realized a few other things but they aren't that important to write about. I promised I would post another blog after I posted my last poem. That didn't happen either. This past month I've been doing a lot of thinking on what my next move is going to be writing wise which I'll explain in a blog that will be up shortly. This poem came to me fairly easy once I came up with the title. As I was writing it, for the first time in a long time, a few lines made me really appreciate that writing that I do. I'm very pleased on how it came out as well. I think it would be real cliché to say again that this my best work to date but I feel like if I'm not outdoing my previous work I'm not writing good enough. Probably in the next day or so I'll have another blog up on what my next project will be. Thanks again for every single person who takes time out of their day and read my poetry, that always makes me feel happy! I hope you my poem "Solitary Tear".

I see a solitary tear when I look in the mirror/
Alone I'm more vulnerable than I appear/
It encapsulates memories I keep bottled up/
I try to recall but my energy is not enough/
I break alone on my imaginary throne/
A place in my head where I feel at home/
The writings on the wall helps me see/
Every problem that I'm faced with daily/
I let jealousy envy and greed succeed/
Taking over where a little part of me bleeds/
In my palm it becomes too many sad songs/
Showing me everything that I've done wrong/
All I pray for is a heart to catch my tear/
Turn it in two and make them disappear/
I live by the sword causing the same death/
How secluded I've become with one breath/
One subject one adjective and one verb/
Gets me put in a place of great concern/
Not suicide but very close to depression/
Praying that He can make the pain lessen/
I wear a Jesus piece to keep me at ease/
The negativity I see puts me on my knees/
I wish I could place my tear in a glass jar/
Keep it close where it's never too far/
A secret I could keep from you knowing/
The reason my insecurities keep growing/
To the point where I cry my friends away/
Wondering if my life will ever be okay/
Forever it will stay a reminder my scars/
Hoping one day it'll shine bright like a star/

Currently listening : Takk... By Sigur Rós Release date: 2005-09-13

4:27 AM - 1 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

April
Category: Writing and Poetry

Ok so I lied. I am back to my rhyming ways. It wasn't until a couple days ago that I decided to change my mind about things. As I was writing my blog I realized I had a lot to say so I'm going to post what that part at a later time. As far as my new poem goes, it was actually a matter of time before I wrote something like this. My original plan was to use my birth date April 22 but the idea April Sky came to me and I felt like more emotion could be poured with my original style. Personally, the break from not rhyming did me some good. I think you'll find this relates more than my last few poems as well. I made a deliberate point to make this my most personal poem yet. The reason being is as far as certain events that mean the most to me, the whole month of April when I was born is my most personal. I debated a while after I finished the poem about what the title was going to be. I had the title of April Sky in mind but I really wanted the focus of the poem to be on the birth month rather than the "April sky". Not that I have to justify my titles to anybody or anything like that. Just thought I'd explain my reasoning. This is probably my longest one to date as well, but I feel as a whole, it's one of the best written pieces I've ever written. As always feel free to leave comment, criticisms and subscribe if you enjoy my poetry! Enjoy!!

If I could rewind time back to my birth/
It would begin under the April sky on Earth/
Born in beauty and the spring time showers/
Out of the womb I couldn't smell the flowers/
A premature bloom that made me assume/
The lights would fade to black too soon/
Thunder and rain became tears and pain/
Behind many memories it's hard to explain/
Only to those who have felt similar sorrow/
That cry alone waiting for a better tomorrow/
I've been built on hope and prayers alone/
A secret kept that has been well shown/
My celebrity status continues to rip apart/
Every single relationship I try and start/
The vulnerability through my words I speak/
Causes the ones I care about to retreat/
I break down and my heart gently weeps/
Still I pray for you before I go to sleep/
Even when a situation isn't to my likeness/
I could never apologize for any niceness/
Friend of foe forever it will be in my M.O./
To shine a light on anybody that I know/
I can recall when doctors gave up on me/
As a friend I couldn't do it to you consciously/
I've realized like them I'm here to operate/
Fix the problems where I can only articulate/
In my dreams I envision a perfect lifestyle/
Where all my scars are erased for awhile/
My regrets would reset and I could forget/
All the times I ever felt angry or upset/
Many don't understand at first glance/
Which is why I only ask for one chance/
To this day I'm blessed to be who I am/
Yet I'm still the one trying to understand/
Why I had strength to defy a sad goodbye/
One day I hope to go under the April sky/

Currently reading : Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life By Anne Lamott Release date: 1995-09-01

3:35 PM - 4 Comments - 8 Kudos - Add Comment

Disappear
Current mood: contemplative
Category: Writing and Poetry

Well it's the last day of June and I certainly couldn't go into July without posting one last poem in this month. June was a very productive month for me in terms my poetry goes. I feel that the new style I've been writing in is working and I hope everyone that's been reading my poetry likes it too. I'm still not sure if I'm going to go back to rhyming just yet. I have about 4 or 5 more topics that I plan on writing this way, then I'll go from there. After this poem I'm going to get pretty personal and I've always felt that the more personal I get, the more people seem to relate to my poetry. Maybe that's just me. As for this poem, it's the first time I came up with the last few lines before I wrote the beginning. I'm not going to go into too much detail with this one because I think it speaks for itself. Hopefully you all will like reading it. Until I post again in July…

When I felt your warmth in silence
The lights were off I held you tight
You glow in the dark like a neon sign
A shooting star sent from heaven
Landing all the way to my heart
In silence we breathe together
Trading emotions back and forth
It's the love mixed with sadness
Creating a bond unbreakable
We become closer and I know
You and I both want the same
A guiding light toward the sky
That shows our names in lights
Flashing in the darkness
Then the whole world could see
What makes us one of a kind
When I realize time has come
I'll hold onto this moment in time
Placing you inside of my heart
I pray that when you leave
You won't forget about me
Until I disappear

Currently listening : Made of Bricks By Kate Nash Release date: 2008-01-08

4:55 PM - 2 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Pretty Face
Current mood: hungry
Category: Writing and Poetry

It's been awhile since I posted two poems within a week. I feel real good about my poetry right now. A new fire has lit up under me. This change has done wonders for my creativity and overall my content seems to be maturing. It should be evident with this new poem. I have written poems like these in the past but I consciously made an effort not to use certain words I did in this poem. It may have to do with recent experiences I've had or the words just didn't fall in the right place when I was thinking of the title. Whatever it may be, this should show growth. For the foreseeable future I will continue writing this way. I know I said only in June but everything has been going real good for me and I feel the way I did back when I first started posted. I may go back and forth between forms after June but for now, I'm sticking with this. Well I hope you all enjoy reading this as much as I did writing it. Oh and by the way, I will make a MAJOR announcement this Friday. I'll be posting bulletins' and posting a blog then but I just though I'd give everyone a little heads up. Until next time!(which won't be too long)..Viva La Vida!!

As our eyes lock for the first time
I wonder if you can feel my heart
It beats for someone to love
The sunset is the backdrop
Frozen behind your pretty face
Unable to connect the words
My emotions do all the talking
How I want to reach out
To touch those cheeks so gently
To outline your lips with my finger
Kiss you on the forehead
Deep down in your eyes
I see sadness in the beauty
Baby blue like your tears
I wish I knew why you cry
So fragile like a tender soul
I wish I could kill your suicide
Piece you back together
Every time you break alone
As your eyes close
The expression shows me
You're more than a pretty face

Currently listening : Viva La Vida By Coldplay Release date: 2008-06-17

2:51 PM - 6 Comments - 6 Kudos - Add Comment

Angel In Me
Current mood: rejuvenated
Category: Writing and Poetry

Change. Change is a pretty strong word. Maybe it shouldn't be because it's the only thing that is constant in our lives. When we change something in our lives it is hard to take that first step and not go back to the old habits. This may be long overdue but I decided to make the change with how I write my poetry. I'm very stubborn when it comes to change but I decided that right now is the right time to do it. It took many conversations with a few people to realize this is the only way I can grow as a writer and a poet. Depending on how well my new poetry is received I may continue writing this way past June (so let me know what you think haha). I personally never have disliked any poem I've written but I particularly like this one a lot. I tried to capture the same kind of emotion people are used to when they read my poetry at the same time conveying it in a different way. I feel like it was a success. Aside from the few people that have told me change would only make me a better writer and they know who they are, I would never have been able to get to this point without every single one of you who read my poetry. The support and views I receive is unbelievable and I cannot thank everyone enough. This one is dedicated to anyone who reads my poetry, for the first time or the millionth, without my readers I would not be posting at all, so thank you. I hope you enjoy the poem! Feel free to leave me comments, messages, or criticism as always! Until next time…

When I look into those eyes
My heart weeps gently
It is the mirror and my reflection
Bringing me down to my knees
I can see right into the past
All the emotions I keep hidden
Tears of sadness tears of joy
The scars will never fade
When I'm faced with the struggle
Never looking back but ahead
To brighter days and starry nights
How I wish I could twinkle
In the sky and in the heavens
Waiting for it to become reality
Away from the pain
Away from the tears
For now I sit and pray
Opening up my heart wide
The silence puts me to ease
All is calm and I can breathe
As I know the angel in me
Will carry me through the day

Currently reading : Poemcrazy: Freeing Your Life with Words By Susan G. Wooldridge Release date: 1997-04-01

8:52 AM - 3 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

The Crown
Current mood: hopeful
Category: Writing and Poetry

Wow, I honestly thought it was just a week ago that I posted my last poem. I haven't posted two in the same much in such a long time, nice change huh? :). At least I'm keeping up with my word with posting more consistently. Very soon it will be a weekly thing, I have all these new ideas and topics that I'm going to be writing about, I can't wait. I'll be going deeper than anything I've written. In addition to new topics, my format will soon go through a little change. This decision mainly stems from my poetry class I recently took (my ego had a quite a dent from all those great writers). Some may have read the poem I wrote with a different format, I wasn't happy the way I executed it, so I deleted it. My focus is back to where I won't put out anything unless I feel 100% satisfied with it. Enough of me talking (does anyone still read these intro's anymore?) and to my poem. Again, it's not one of my deeper ones but everyone should like it as much as I do. As always comments and subscriptions are greatly appreciated. Also, since I'm currently having trouble expanding my works to others on myspace, word of mouth from everyone would be GREAT. I can't complain at all with the fanbase that continues to read my poetry, but it never hurts to have more people read as well. Shortly another poem will soon appear..until then. Enjoy!

If I could only express in words how I/
Felt every tear that came from your eye/
It would be from the distance we're placed/
With a name that will never be erased/
So sweet and gentle it'll be left unspoken/
For only I know that you're truly chosen/
To do great things and wear expensive rings/
A queen that is waiting for her prodigal king/
You can't see that through the darkness/
The crown I wear shines the brightest/
Glowing like the sun on hot summer days/
I can see you're hurt in so many ways/
The look in your eyes matches mine/
Dressed in the similar fabric and design/
The details inside speak to me directly/
How we share the same type of vulnerability/
It's the reason that you're afraid to admit/
I'm the right person which you try to forget/
It breaks my heart to know it could be true/
When I just want to be the best part of you/
When you look in my eyes and see the pain/
Still the sunrise I can give you is the same/
Even when the clouds cover up all the rays/
It won't stop me from praying in the rain/
I want to break the space between you and I/
To feel every tear that comes from your eye/
If I can't have the crown then I won't pretend/
In the end the king just wants to have a friend/

Currently listening : Juno By Original Soundtrack Release date: 2008-02-19

10:49 PM - 3 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

Melody
Current mood: artistic
Category: Writing and Poetry

I have returned with yet another poem. I don't mean for these delays but for whatever reasons they keep on happening. I have to admit, the last poem I posted was something different than my norm and I feel looking back and reading it, it did not capture what I wanted artistically. I think it would take a lot for me to write in a different form and keep that same type of emotion I have with the way I normally write my poetry. I think it only enhances my ability as a poet to expand myself with form and other techniques. Until I feel like it's working for me in that regard, I will keep posting the type of poetry everyone is used to from me :). Enough of all my talk now (if people still do read this part) and on to my poem "Melody". I like this poem, it's a lot more creative than my others in terms of the kind of words I put in my poem. Some people may not know what all the terms mean and I apologize for that, it was the only way I could express how I felt through the poem. Hope you like it! As always I appreciate everyone who reads my poetry still even with all my long breaks. I'm going to try and post more consistently now so look forward to that!

Sitting under the spotlight of my dreams/
Like a melody your music is all around me/
You strike chords and acoustic strings/
With emotions it makes me want to sing/
Only your voice can be heard and I hear/
Sweet words of love hope sadness and fear/
Your tears hit the piano keys with ease/
Bringing my beating heart down to my knees/
I hear the words of love that you try to express/
Under an angelic soul in harmonic distress/
I try to speak acapella as my music is atonal/
In my eyes you can see I'm too vulnerable/
The words are weak you clearly can hear that/
Caught up in your amazing sharps and flats/
One of the same cut from the same fabric/
Afraid to admit we both produce similar magic/
It's what brings us together and sets us apart/
The root comes from the music of our hearts/
Lacking perfect pitch wishing I had consonance/
Like having the right words without confidence/
Give me a ballad I can put my emotions over/
A connection that will bring us near and closer/
Before the opus I'll get back in the right mode/
An ode to you your melody can never get old/
How natural it could be we'll call it our finale/
Forever in my dreams both living in harmony/

8:53 PM - 4 Comments - 6 Kudos - Add Comment

Dying To Live
Current mood: ecstatic

Now I've officially come back to post more new poetry. I've took a little time off to gather my thoughts and whatnot but I've decided to post until everyone gets sick of my poetry :). I think that people will like this poem alot more than my couple previous ones. For some reason I tend to guage how much people like my poetry pieces by the amount of comments it gets. I'm not one to get people to comment my stuff unless they truly like it or relate to it someway so when I see my comments decline I feel like I need to take more time with my work to make it 10x better. This is more of a personal piece so it's back writing to where people started to read my poetry in the first place. I really appreciate everyone taking the time to read my poetry and I hope you like this one. Don't forget to comment with any criticism and subscribe if you like what you're reading!

As each day goes by I sit and wonder why/
I'm in the position where I cry under the sky/
I search for answers but only find Cancer/
Hoping that God will show me the light faster/
I never would imagined never would of dreamt/
That I was so close to not being heaven sent/
You never get to see you never get to know/
What my life is like behind closed doors/
If you could only understand the way that I am/
I would stop feeling like I need the upper hand/
On the surface you'll never see me nervous/
I play the part well but only for this purpose/
Face to face is a race at a different pace/
It's when I'm alone that I begin to feel unsafe/
My emotions implode and the insecurities show/
Feeling like i should get up, give up, and let go/
Where are my friends? Where are my enemies/
Looking around trying to find some sympathy/
In me I know I can't simply die on the inside/
As I wish on a shooting star at 11:11 every night/
To have hope that I'll be given a sign from above/
The only thing that we truly want is to be loved/
Judgments pour over me like rain on the ocean/
And it's just the tears that I'm always showing/
Struggle is the movie I play all the parts in/
From day one it has caused me to pretend/
Torn between two worlds in the same reality/
At days end I have a hard time handling me/
I'm dying to live a normal life without the strife/
Until then I'll just continue to pray here tonight/

Currently listening : American Gangster By Jay-Z Release date: 06 November, 2007

10:04 AM - 3 Comments - 6 Kudos - Add Comment

Girl of My Dreams
Current mood: happy
Category: Writing and Poetry

Does anybody read this part anymore? haha Well as you can see now I'm back off hiatius. I was contemplating whether or not I should continue to still write poetry and post on a regular basis. Partly because I didn't feel like the quality of my poetry was at it's best the last couple times I posted. If I'm not writing my best then I feel that I shouldn't be posting in the first place. However I'm back with my new poem "Girl of My Dreams" which I hope will grab everybody's attention again. Feel free to comment and/or subscribe after reading, it gives me more moviation and makes me work harder to write something great for everyone. Until my next one..here it is...

I know a girl who consumes my whole thoughts/
Moving side to side captured by the camera shots/
The flashing lights flicker up and down her body/
Exposing her beauty while she looks so calmly/
She glows in the dark like a bright neon sign/
Face to face so near but never quite mine/
I never have the time to ask for her name/
Hooked by her looks it's always the same/
I keep on trying but never do I succeed/
One thing I know for sure for her I do bleed/
I can see the sparkles twinkle in her eyes/
Like little stars she lights up my whole sky/
With every blink she's so pretty in pink/
A blonde bombshell that's always in sync/
She wears the crown a complete princess/
Wearing a smile that freezes every instant/
I feel a connection every time we touch/
I wonder how much will really be enough/
To win her heart to sweep her off her feet/
Compared to other girls they can't compete/
Like best friends I want to be by her side/
The only person who I really need in my life/
With no insecurities she's pure inside and out/
One day she'll know who I'm talking about/
It's the girl of my dreams who I always see/
Disappearing every time I wake up-lucky me/

Currently listening : Graduation By Kanye West Release date: 11 September, 2007

4:26 PM - 10 Comments - 14 Kudos - Add Comment