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My relationship views! I'd love to hear your input!
Current mood:  loved
My relationship views:
Insecurity, Jealousy, Blind love, The evil past, and Silly Girl Fights
'Psychoanalyst Erich Fromm states, "The love for my own self is inseparably connected with the love for any other being."
Simply stated, this means that we cannot love another until we first love ourselves.'
Personally i feel that it is very important to love yourself before you can love another person. That is a huge lesson I've learned being in two past, long, failing relationships. If you love yourself your capable of being secure which is a good element in a successful relationship. Insecurity tends to ruin relationships. Guys hate to be nagged about everything they do, especially if their intentions are completely harmless. Guys also need to have a guys night out every now and then, as do we. Before, i admit, I have done the psycho girlfriend act. "Where you at?!" "Who you with?!" "Fuck that I'm coming with you!" and vise versa, it's been done to me. But when person is constantly being nagged at, eventually you'll get a negative response out of 'em, which only makes you more insecure. However, yea, the guy can have done something to make you insecure. But why would you put up with it? My man and I have had our problems with insecurity on both sides. The whole X-factor. Typical in relationships. But were on a fresh slate now. SECURE. I let my man do whatever he pleases. I let him go where he wants to go with his friends because i trust him. I rarely call and it makes me feel better that i don't have to be at home trippin' on a brotha. Then again he makes me feel secure on other levels. He'll be at the club or even the strip club, but calls wanting to come home because he misses me. I know he's satisfied. I think alot of men forget to make their woman feel that way which causes the whole lock-down process. A women needs compliments from their man. Guys tend to think I don't need compliments because that's what I have a myspace for. That's not true at all. Every woman including ME never gets enough of her BOYFRIEND, not some stranger, telling her "baby you're gorgeous" , "damn you sexy", "girl you're beautiful". A compliment goes a long way. Especially if your a guy who tends to "look". Who am i kidding, ALL guys have wandering eyes! Its instinct! Guys get attracted by sight, what can you do about it. What will work for your woman is making her feel beautiful. Ladies, love yourself more, don't be so insecure, he's with you right? My man smothers me with compliments which helps me to not care if he occasionally gets attracted to another woman. He always reassures me I'm his everything. And I've learned to reassure myself that I am beautiful and when you learn that, you learn to appreciate the beauty of other women. Now i'll look with him and throw in a nice compliment, instead of bashing the girl! Girls! you know were all guilty of it! "What?!? She not cute! She wears too much make-up!""She looks like a slut!" Fact: THAT won't help to stop him from looking! Trust me, if you stop being insecure about it it will make you feel a lot better than being jealous and bitter all the time.
Another reason why it's important to LOVE YOURSELF is because based on personal experience, I have watched my beautiful friends, including myself, give everything to a guy. Her priorities, her love, and worst, her self worth. Sure for love you do give your all, but not for someone who is not doing the same. When you learn to love yourself, you learn to notice when your man aint treatin' you right. Girls are known for being BLIND when it gets to LOVE. Trust me, I've been a victim many times. Its crazy how many chances a person gives another, mistake after mistake. Everyone desrves to be happy. Love does have its bad times but love doesn't have to hurt in a way where you don't know yourself anymore. Where you feel worthless without him. Where you neglect you r girlfrieds or your family. Where he can yell at you and call you names and maybe even lay hands on you, but for some reason you still want him. You'd rather hurt and be with him, then be hurt without him. Been there. Done that. Now I know myself. And i'm getting better at saying to guys, "You know what. I love you, I want you, but I don't need you. I'll be okay without you." Guys just learn to respect you more. My man knows he can lose me if he fucks up. I've given him lee-way when we were just talking. But now that he's mine I want him to respect me in every way. I want him all to myself. This time around he has told me he's going to prove to me that it's all about me. That he'll respect me and never lie to me and so far he has proven it to me. We can talk about anything. We've told each other everything that we've done wrong to each other without us being insecure about it, but just letting it make us stronger. I think people in relationships tend to bring up the past a lot. As if they are forever punishing their partner with what has happened, or using it as a quick hit in an argument. If you don't let go of the past how can you make a future. As far as the past and exes however, if yall don't have the type of mutual friends that tend to cause you to HAVE to see each other, or no kids, then yall just don't need to see each other. And if your man does fuck up with you for another girl, don't go to the girl! If things have happened more than friendship its his problem not hers. My new motto:"If you can get my man to misbehave, then its all good, I don't want him. You can have him! If you try to get my man to fuck up, and he don't want too, girl watch your back!"
My relationship views. Love yourself, and you'll be more successful in the la-la-lah-love department. It's okay to let him go if he's fucking up. If he's worth your time he'll change and come back to you. But you have to let go or he'll just think it okay to treat you the way he does! Have some self respect and he'll learn to respect you the same way.
Good luck guys! And I'd love to hear your input on this topic or debates.
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Promise
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Jagged Edge
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