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Thursday, September 11, 2008
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10:34 PM - worries and hopes
it's nice when my boss compliments me on being better than him.
it makes me happy.
so i might be talking to my mom about my marriage soon.
it's so funny, apparently she got mad while talking to my sister because she thought i wanted her and dad to throw me a party.
hahahahahahaha!
go stick it up your ass you fat stupid cunt
i'm getting married for me, not for your attention. i couldn't give a fuck in a flying donut whether you are even here for it.
it bothers me a little. (not the same topic, BTW)
i feel like i've lost a lot of my creativity. i don't write anymore, i don't even do poetry. i keep being overwhelmed by the idea that there is nothing original anymore and anything i have one or will do is just rehashing someone elses ideas. not on purpose, mind you.just because everything has already been done, in some way or another.
i really don't know when i bacame so jaded when it came to creating something. i blew my mind out like an old tire with too much cocain and acid. tho the acid helped me deal with my schizophrenia, oddly enough.
one would think that a schizophrenic on acid is the worst idea EVER. and it can be. but it helped me get my mind in order and overcome my psychoses to function mostly normally.
but now i am stuck.
uncreative, uninspired and bored.
i still dream of being the next great science fiction writer, the next great playwrite. but the harshness of reality in a world where originality is boxed and sold for the masses is daunting, and i fear i am no where near being up for the task.
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Sunday, August 03, 2008
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12:50 AM - weeee, I CAN HAS WRITING NOWZ!!!
so, i know i have frequently talked about getting married and how awesomely happy i am and what-not.
WELL IT ONLY GETS BETTER!!
i found out yesterday that my parents are finally acknowledging that it's happening.
they won't be here on november second when i officially tie the knot, BUT they said they might help me throw a party in april when they come back for spring break.
::does a happy dance:: HAPPY HAPPY JOY JOY!!
onto other things...
STUFF I WANNA FUCKING HURT
stinky people with dirty feet on the bus. WHO PUT THEIR NASTY ASS FEET NEXT TO ME ON THE SEAT.
my co-worker who likes to stand too close to me when i'm chillen at my kiosk.
that girl in those fucking ugly ass orange shorts that i saw today. THEY WERE LIKE NASTY BLOOMERS WITH PUKE ON THEM
not to say that they were puked on or that she was dirty, just that these were fucking UGLY.
and i forget the rest. there was more but whatev.
OH YEAH!!! i totally forgot to write about Folk Fest.
for those of you who don't know, the Philly Folk Festival (notice it's so important i properly capitalized!!!) is like my disney world. i've been going since i was a month old and the only one i have ever missed, guess what happened?
MY SISTER GOT MARRIED!!
i now consider this a bad omen and thus must never miss another one.
but yeah, anyhoo. so Folk Fest is this huge fest with awesome music and muchly drinking and overall AWESOME. mah hubby didn't have such a good time at first, cuz being a drunken retard all day isn't so much his thing anymore. to quote him: "i'm not 21 anymore..." but regardless he eventually got into the spirit and we had an awesome time. he even got to hang out with a bunch of my family that isn't actually related to me and get to know them better.
on friday night the band Tempest (also awesome enough for proper capitalization) played and i danced and screamed my ass off. then we went and threw a birthday party for my friends mom who was turning 50. there were frozen ice heads!! o.O
on saturday i wasn't really worried about music so much but we had an awesome time sleeping in someone else's hammock. that night doomboy (my fiance) and i broke out our monster sized bottle of vodka and he made up a game to play. it had a spinny wheel and lots of dares. these included:
-pick lacey's nose and chugg a beer (mind you we got total strangers to play with us)
-get naked and do a rain dance
-get a total stranger to bend over in fronT of you while you pretend to do them in the butt and yell "anal sex is over rated!"
i think you get the idea.
sunday was our last day and we got to see kimya dawson 3 TIMES!! she has this awesome kids song about the alphabet, i loved it. we also got to see GREAT BIG FUCKING SEA (their name does not include the fucking, FYI)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i lost my voice singing so loud. then we went home and i got to sleep in my bed, not a tent.
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Saturday, July 05, 2008
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12:41 PM - O Zone - Dragostea Din Tei (numa-numa) original
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mdb0B3Ib2gE
The music video for the song "Dragostea Din Tei" by "Ozone"
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Friday, July 04, 2008
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2:21 PM - rotting flowers
Current mood:  melancholy
the flowers downstairs are dying. there's little tiny flies crawling all over them but you can see it till you lean down to smell them.
and underneath their slowly diminishing odor is that sickly sweet rot of decay.
this struck me as moving for reasons i can't explain.
i'm finding myself bombarded with feelings and insights i have no explanation for anymore.
i was blinded by the toxins and the extra bullshit that i felt was so necessary in my life. and now that i'm finally back to being only influenced by myself and it's almost more confusing because i don't know how to react when i don't have to work around being wasted.
when i used to be someone who knew exactly what was going on even when i was tripping so hard i thought my eyeballs were falling out. and now i find myself confused after having a few drinks because i mishear something or misjudge a reaction.
life is so simple now and yet complicated in all the ways it never was before. not that i would trade it for anything.
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Monday, June 30, 2008
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3:21 PM - CAPTAIN SAVE-A-HOE!!!!!
Current mood:  adored
heehee! i just saw "i think i love my wife" with chris rock. it was awesome!!!
it's odd how as soon as life starts going well, i never find a reason to write in my blog.
prolly not the most surprising of things either but what the hell.
i'm thinking about trying to put some of my writing in here. just to get feed back and shit.
haha, according to mick foley, wrestling fans don't date much. i couldn't fathom WHY! ::rolls eyes::
fuck that shit, i love wrestling. you should see my characters for smackdowm vs. raw 2008. they would wreck shit if they were real.
MWA, dork moment finished.
i've been working at the airport recently, for the company rosetta stone.
IT FUCKING RULES!
i am currently attempting to learn spanish, cause my boi's family is dominican and i would kinda like to be able to converse with his mom. such things are usually a good thing.
OH, and i know what my next tat is going to be, i can't wait to put the pic up on here. jeff designed it for an anniversary card he made me. it's hello kitty with a robotic eye and she's wearing a kimono and combat boots. she's also holding a heart with a skull in the middle. IT SUPER CUTE!!!!!!!!
all in all i have this great general sense of contentment. i'm a little worried about money and school and where i'm gonna be in a few years, but it's not like my world is falling apart at the seams anymore. i at least have some kinda direction in my life, not just a random existence where all i'm thinking about is what party is at what club and wether i know someone who can get me in for free.
FUCK THAT SHIT
it's boring. it's nothing new and it goes NO WHERE. it's stagnent and cheap and stupid.
blarg
i have a secret again too.
MWAHAHAHA!! i love having secrets. there are a few who know this one. like my love!
and we are so much hotter than everyone else thats why we know what we know.
::does the happy-i'm-in-love dance::
there are times when i feel bad. like, i can't help talking about how happy i am, and how lucky i am to have him. and sometimes i worry that it seems like i'm rubbing it in everyones face, which isn't the intention. I'M JUST SO FUCKING HAPPY!!!
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