In yesterday's blog, I wrote that Robert Smith has worked with Ashlee Simpson... that hasn't happened. Was a rumor started by Entertainment Weekly last year.
Someone else who has never worked with Ashlee Smith is Anita Mann. If I were Ashlee, I'd have my peeps contact Miss Mann immediately.
OK, off to a doctor's appointment today. Will have new lab results next week, though, thankfully, there hasn't been much drama in that department. We'll see how the recent caterpillar episode and watching The Orphanage has affected those Mr. T's.
The caterpillars seem to have disappeared- just dried up, run-over guts all over the driveway and carport remain...
Kenneth's plan totally failed and he, like hemophilia, hepatitis and HIV, has to look up at the victorious, smug grin of one Shawn Decker. In fact, I'm toying with the idea of going to see The Cure in DC on Friday night, because I find it sad that a kid diagnosed with HIV in the 80's has never see The Cure live.
But wait... this could be a trap. Maybe Robert Smith is in on this. He did work with Ashlee Simpson recently, so it's not a stretch to picture him scheming with Kenneth "The Caterpillar Man" Cole.
Imagine my horror if Robert said. "Now, the next song goes out to Shawn; courtesy of Mr. Cole." The band launches into "Caterpillar Girl", and instead of balloons falling from the ceiling, it's thousands of caterpillars, dropping onto the unsuspecting heads of everyone in the Patriots Center.
It's too risky. I have to stay inside until the AIDS Walk.
Oh, one thing I did venture to do was watch a very cool movie, The Orphanage, last night, thanks to the urgings of Andy of Bella Morte. (He's an expert on spooky, and has his own horror book coming out next year.) The movie is a ghost story, beautifully shot with a storyline that is PF- Positoid Friendly. One of the main characters, a boy named "Simon", is HIV positive.
A scene from The Orphanage... or the REAL reason why Shawn was kicked out of sixth grade?
Definitely check it out if you're not afraid of getting spooked or reading subtitles.
If it weren't for the army of caterpillars outside of my door, I'd be more concerned with the Democratic Primaries today.
I'd like to devote my passion to politics, but I got my own feud to deal with. And it involves a fashion mogul and thousands of caterpillars. So great has been my concern that I didn't realize it was Cinco de Mayo until 10:30 p.m., distracted by my paralyzing fear and that I spent all day watching this video, which takes me back to the summer after 8th grade.
After my 63rd viewing of The Cure's "Caterpillar Girl", I received an email from a Kenneth Cole operative: On May 15, Kenneth is having an in-store event at his Rockefellar Center store. Proceeds go to his AIDS Walk team... apparently, he doesn't think his caterpillars will get the job done.
I've gotten numerous responses from people around town, who have also affected by this swarm of caterpillars. In reading their messages, I began to doubt my bold stand not to whore out in that storefront window on World AIDS Day 2006... then I remembered my rationale: that seeing a pasty white dork with AIDS make out with his wife would do more harm to the cause than good.
Since posting my shocking video, it's been suggested that I capture all of the caterpillars, and then take them to New York and fill Kenneth Cole's store with butterflies- a great plan! But then I thought long and hard, and came to the conclusion that Kenneth would probably just sew them onto jeans and turn a profit.
I shared the story of World AIDS Day 2006, when Kenneth Cole tried to talk Gwenn and I into some heavy petting in his storefront window.
I've used that painful memory as motivation to outraise his team in the AIDS Walk NY, especially since his team raised about $2500 more than Team Supersnack, whom I walk for. This year, we are leading them, but I'm beginning to wonder if I'll make it to the Walk...
This exchange, which meant nothing on Dec. 1st, 2006, is starting to make sense now:
Last Friday I mentioned the caterpillars. Today, I took this video. Please, watch and pray for my safety.
Positively Yours,
Shawn
The AIDS Walk NY is so close! Less than two weeks away. I'm hoping to meet my fundraising goal of $2500 (at $1650) before May 18... I think Kenneth Cole is behind the caterpillar attack.
Remember all my blogs about the trip to Los Angeles? Well, I finally hooked the camera up to the computer, so check out these photos and vids.
If you read My Pet Virus, you read about my buddies, Josh and Jenny. I took the first photo, and told Josh he looked drunk in it and I needed to take another... I think he thought I wanted the drunk look and, living in L.A., he delivered the goods.
"Hey Josh, you look drunk..." -me
"I'll show ya drunk, ya jerk!" - Josh (By the way, aren't they cute?)
But we weren't at the Galaxy Gallery just to look pretty. No, we were there to rock! Or synth, or whatever it is I'm doing below. I'm pretty sure that it was having a good time- thanks to Josh for playing the show with me and adding guitar and bass to Synthetic Division for the first time.
Josh D'Elia of The Sane, playing bass on "Nobody Could See This Coming"
To hear a really cool gothic remix of the above song- by JDavyd Williams of IDIL(Gopal Metro is in this killer new band)- click on over to my music site to hear the remix.
Here we are playing "Sign", which seems to be people's favorite Synthetic Division song. Big thanks to Kyle Wiggins, as always, for co-writing it with me. On this one, Josh plays guitar and I shake what my momma gave me.
The song isn't just an ode to the neon sign... or is it?
Josh was kindly on loan from his band, The Sane, here we are wearing each other's band shirts, and below you can hear The Sane rock it out. They are hard to see, because they don't have a big neon sign. Yet.
The Sane rippin' it up at The Galaxy.
Gwenn and I were out in the L.A. to meet with Mitch, the talented writer who is turning My Pet Virus into a screenplay. Christy, who is producing the venture, came out from New York City.
I'm sure, after seeing Josh and I shred it, that Mitch is writing the show into the screenplay. We discussed who would play Josh (remember, Bruce Willis is playing me), and everyone agreed that Don Johnson would be perfect.
What's really weird, is that Christy said that once, when she was at work, Bruce Willis came in and sat on her desk... she was really busy, but she thinks he was flirting. I yelled at her, "What?! If you'd slept with him we'd have Willis!"
Of course, this was before she even read My Pet Virus... but I stand by my violent outburst. Mitch was taking notes when this happened, so look for Bruce Willis to really go off as Shawn Decker in My Pet Virus: The Movie.
The magic seeds have been planted in Los Angeles. I love Mitch, and think he'll do an outstanding job. Of course, any updates will be posted on here in the future. I told Mitch he could throw in a talking hamster if he thinks it will get more investors on board, or replace the HIV storyline with Athlete's Foot. Then the last scene could be Willis, overcoming Athlete's Foot to play in front of hundreds and thousands of people with Johnson at the Staple's Center.
If I don't blog soon, it's because I was killed by caterpillars. Seriously, there are hundreds of them outside my home. That, too, would make for an awesome ending to the movie.
Positively Yours,
Shawn
Less than TWO WEEKS AWAY! Don't forget to help my AIDS Walk NY Team defeat Kenneth Cole Productions! Click Support to make a small donation to help my fellow positoids.
Some people think they can tell someone has HIV by looking at them. It's a big myth, and the folks at www.mtvu.com have done something about it. Check out their new site, PosOrNot.com, which features positoids (HIV positive folks) and negatoids (HIV negative folks) and a guessing game.
If you scroll through long enough, you might see my handsome mug. If you guess wrong, then you haven't been paying much attention to this blog. Here's a clue...
Parts of Virginia were hit by tornadoes yesterday, injuring over 200 people. My thoughts go out to any fellow Virginians in the areas affected south of Williamsburg.
I've been a little out of touch since getting back from L.A., writing away in my secret bunker locales. Not only have I been away from the blog, but I've also been out of touch with the fam.
Last night, my bro called me on it- it being the telephone.
"Hey brother, it's your brother- haven't heard from you in awhile, just making sure you're still alive." I sometimes forget that writers with AIDS can only disappear for so long when going into seclusion, before people start to get worried.
I called him back- he was bowling. He's not worried about me anymore.
-------
In terms of AIDS and politics, I have to say I'm worried about Obama's former minister, Reverend Wright. The infamous Wright quote, "God damn, America!", is the one that gets all the attention, but what bugs me is the recent interviews, and how Wright said Obama is just "doing what politicians do."
He's giving all the wrong soundbites, and now it's McCain, Hillary and Obama's former pastor, all piling on. Personally, I think the 37 he scored in bowling triggered all of this, but that's just my crackpot theory.
Most have seen the videos of the Rev., ranting and raving. Below is a video you may not have seen yet...
Reverend Wright getting an HIV test.
In it, Wright mentions that young, heterosexual African American women are the leading group of people being infected by HIV. What he didn't mention is that it is the leading cause of death among that group as well.
Oh, and he called someone a "retard" in the video above, too. If Corky from Life Goes On is still alive, I expect him to join McCain, Hillary and Wright in the Kick-Obama-In-The-Balls congo line.
OK, I just did a search- Chris Burke is alive and well. Phew!
But yes, HIV is the leading cause of death among African American women.
I support Obama, because I sincerely believe that he would be progressive in his handling of the HIV/AIDS epidemic, not only in the United States- where he supports condoms in prisons- but abroad as well, where many of the U.S.'s well-meaning, misguided policies have reversed successful anti-HIV campaigns. (Uganda being one.)
Just the other day, McCain said Obama was out of touch with poor people. Well, McCain is out of touch with people with AIDS. He didn't know, as of last year, whether a condom helps prevent transmission.
HIV/AIDS would not be at the top of President McCain's agenda.
As for Reverend Wright, he is playing a very dangerous game with the media. He can laugh, and grab the headlines with zingers, and soak up the spotlight, damaging Obama in the process. Whether that damage is justified doesn't matter.
Damage is damage.
And, when it's said and done, and everyone has forgotten all about this, the pastor can come out of retirement. And every December, he can observe World AIDS Day. And give out free HIV tests, and state the same statistic, year after year, bemoaning the government's response to the epidemic.
The thought of it all is enough to send me back into seclusion.
Positively Yours,
Shawn
Don't forget to help my AIDS Walk NY Team defeat Kenneth Cole Productions! Click Support to make a small donation to help my fellow positoids.
Immediately after flying back to Virginia from L.A., Gwenn and I got in our car and headed down to East Carolina University... well, not exactly immediately.
The flight landed at 9 at night, but when the bus dropped us off at the economy parking, we weren't quite sure where we parked, though we had it narrowed down to a 200-foot square radius.
Which isn't bad really. At the first hunch, I told the bus driver to drop us off and, what do ya know, there was the car- right in our line of sight. But when we tried to use the keychain Unlock button, it didn't work.
"We're screwed," Gwenn said, noticing that one of the backdoors was closed enough lock, but open enough to have let the battery die. No biggie, we called the airport and they sent a nice guy in a truck over to give us a jump.
We got to just outside of Greenville, then called it a night at the Sleep Inn. How they can call it the Sleep Inn with an 11 a.m. check out is beyond me, especially when most check outs are at noon. But again, they were nice, and we got an extra late check out- for a price- since we didn't have to hit the road until 3 p.m.
East Carolina University brought Gwenn and I in to speak for World AIDS Day 2006, and someone asked me about the Kenneth Cole thing. See, last time we spoke there was two days before my infamous meeting with Kenneth, I remember talking to the staff about the publicity stunt when I was just an innocent, wide-eyed positoid, unknowing of what awaited me in the big bad city...
But I digress. This time we did our secondary program at ECU, entitled "Bugs in the Bedroom". It's more of a general STI program- I don't even disclose my HIV status until the end, as a big shocking finale.
One thing that happened during the program, however, was a bit shocking. I had to retire a joke because of the sensitive nature...
See, we do these condom races, pitting two guys against two girls. It's a race to see who can put a condom on a fake penis the fastest. The first two go, and then we talk about who was fastest and who did it correctly.
The next pair what, and I crack a joke about, "This time... we see who can put the condom on the fastest... with their mouth!" It's a raucous joke, and usually I can tell the guy it's a joke pretty quickly. But this gentleman in particular lost his shit.
It's not that my delivery was that good- no one used to believe that I was serious abotu this, uh, gag- but now, as I'm finishing book number 2, I've grown some facial hair.
Which makes me look like I mean business. See?
WIth Azure in Los Angeles at The Galaxy Gallery gig. (more pics and vid coming!)
Order was restored, and I calmed him down and assured him that wasn't the intent. But man o' man, for like two seconds there I thought I was going to be calling the local hemophilia chapter for some clotting factor.
Overall, the program isn't the well-oiled machine like "A Boy, A Girl, A Virus", which is more about my relationship with Gwenn, but it is fun and educational. A well-needed boost for the condom in an age of abstinence-only education.
We just haven't done "Bugs" as much over the years, and I sometimes forget how much shaping we did with "Boy, Girl, Virus", where little things had to get taken out to keep the focus where it needed to be. It can't be understated how a few fake penises- one that measures over a foot long- can turn a public speaking engagement into a potentially combustible element.
Thanks to everyone at East Carolina University for inviting us to speak, and taking sexual health on. As for taking things on, I might not be blogging for a couple of days, since I have a Monday deadline to finish the new book. So wish me luck, I hope to have some news on that front in the coming months.
Positively Yours,
Shawn
PS... The L.A. blog is coming next week!
Don't forget to help my AIDS Walk NY Team defeat Kenneth Cole Productions! Click Support to make a small donation to help my fellow positoids.
The trip to Los Angeles was incredible, but since I'm sitting in a hotel trying to get everything together, I thought I'd wait till I could upload a few pics to tell the story.
In the meantime, I have to address an issue I've ignored until now: Barack Obama's bowling. Much was made of the fact that he bowling a 37. I support Obama, yet I come from a long line of bowlers. I think this could be the issue that Republicans use against him in the election.
Bowling is a sacred institution, far more important than the economy in the grand scheme of things. There is a bowling alley in the friggin' White House, the only reason why that shit job sounds appealing to me. But I can see the political ads now, suggesting that Obama will rip up the bowling alley and replace it with a basketball court. The number 37 will be splashed on billboards all across the heartland.
But it's not too late!
Obama is athletic, but it's way too late to teach him how to change his form. Plus, he has bigger things to worry about, and the last Prez to *resign I meant* get impeached- Nixon- was a great bowler.
photo by Julius Tolentino
I recently saw the photo above -of a bowling fundraiser for the Miss Virginia Organization- and I thought... what if African American pageant queens went into bowling centers all across America to assure voters that Barack is a decent fellow, even if he can't bowl?
Tomorrow is the Pennsylvania primary- this strategy is too late to have an effect there, but I think the Obama camp should definitely consider the prospect.
Good luck tomorrow, Obama!
Positively Yours, Shawn
Don't forget to help my AIDS Walk NY Team defeat Kenneth Cole Productions! Click Support to make a small donation to help my fellow positoids.
Last night I finally worked up the courage to open the box, having checked the neon Synthetic Division sign with the airlines. (UPS did a fine job packing it, the sign was safe and sound.)
And tonight is the big night! So if you are in or around Los Angeles, come see me play at the Galaxy Gallery on Melrose. Show starts at 10 p.m.
7224 Melrose Ave Los Angeles, CA 90046 Phone: (323) 938-6505 (Mid-city west!)
I wanted to get a cool pic of the sign, unplugged, with the city behind it. But all you can see is the sign and Gwenn's bathrobe- the water in the shower went out on her. She was none to happy to accomodate in the taking of this terrible picture. (On second thought, it was a little breezy out on the patio.)
We got this hotel on Priceline... room service for 2 eggs? $22! No, we didn't get the eggs. Well, we did at a diner the next day for $1.99.
The AIDS Walk NY is on Sunday, May 18. Click on the spooky boy to donate... 
bouncy
The AIDS Walk NY- like those furry critters outside my door- is so close
intimidated
In the meantime, I have to address an issue I've ignored until now: Barack Obama's bowling. Much was made of the fact that he bowling a 37. I support Obama, yet I come from a long line of bowlers. I think this could be the issue that Republicans use against him in the election.
I wanted to get a cool pic of the sign, unplugged, with the city behind it. But all you can see is the sign and Gwenn's bathrobe- the water in the shower went out on her. She was none to happy to accomodate in the taking of this terrible picture. (On second thought, it was a little breezy out on the patio.)