I don't update this baby like I used to. I'm a busy bear nowadays. I'm having kids, so I took the supervisor position at my job. Our old supervisor somehow got eaten, so they appointed me, once I told them to. Now I'll be able to afford some toys or some shit. Debbie is excited. I guess I am too. Seriously, I'm so cool, these are going to be some lucky kids. Having me for a dad. I wish I was my own son so I that could say that I was my dad. What?
As for Bud, he's still touring with his band. They're doing good, I guess, living that rock and roll lifestyle. Mad props to them. I never would've expected a freaky mountain goat to become so successful. I hope to see him on VH1 Behind the Music someday.
Sheryl is still flying into things. She just refuses to wear her ugly glasses. Because I always laugh at her when she does. Haha, oh man, she looks so bad in them. Even though she's an eagle that's as blind as a bat, she still manages to take good care of her kids. I never actually considered this until this very moment, but I wonder who the father of those kids is? Dun dun dun!
Foxy hahahahaha...Cleopatra...hahaha! Oh fuck that name is perfect. Yeah, she's still a whole lotta woman. Her and Deb are good friends and they go out hunting all the time.
My family is pretty much ready for hibernation this winter. My parents are already passed out and my brother and sister are just about there. I'd actually like to join them this time around, despite my previous blog entry, but this is no ordinary winter!
And hey, let's not forget about Brad. I ran into him the other day. He was bouncing around on his tail. I called him a loser and he told me to shut up. I thought about ripping his tail right off but he bounced clear over me and disappeared down the path. Kind of neat.
Well, that wraps that up. I've got a lot on my plate so I've got to make room. This blog was a fun way to reflect on how awesome I was day in, day out, but that is something we're all well aware of by now. In case you're a 'tard though, and you weren't aware of that, then on my final note, I leave you with this...
So I decided to go visit Bud a few days ago. He wasn't home. Where could he have gone? I called his cell phone.
"Hello?" He answered. "Bud, what's up?" "I'm in California," he replied. "What?" "Cali to the fornia!" He exclaimed. "What?!" I exclaimed. "I'm touring the US with my band." "You have gigs lined up all across the country?!" "Yesp." "What?!" "Well, I gotta go. Talk to you later, Nate!"
Then he hung up. Fucking taken aback, I was!
Anyway, living with Deb has been fun. She's a really good cook. Last night she made stuffed turtle with a side of deer torsos. And she also made forks and knives out of the deer's antlers. But we didn't use them. Still cool, though.
My brother finally moved out. But that's only because Debbie moved in. We had been talking about it for the past few days. She would bring it up and I would say, "Let's play Wii golf!" and then she'd punch me in the shoulder and I'd growl at her and she'd hit me again so I'd hit her back and then we'd roll around on the floor fighting with each other and we'd slam into tables and knock stuff over and break stuff and a fire almost started one time and my cave almost burned down so I said, "We have to stop doing this or you won't have a cave to move into with me!"
She took that as a "Let's move in together" for some reason. When I got home from work yesterday all her stuff was here.
Well, at least my brother's out. My parents weren't too pleased to have him back so they kicked him out before he could actually move back in. Now he's staying with our sister, Abbie.
You’d think she’d be used to it by now
Current mood: triumphant
Foxy stopped by today. Haha. I laugh every time I hear her name. And then she usually bites me. Then I usually chase her for a bit but she's really fast and aw fuck it. Anyway, she waltzed into my cave where me and my bro were having an intense match of Wii tennis. It was amazing timing because my brother accidentally threw the remote right when she walked in and it hit her in the head. She was knocked unconscious.
So my bro ran over to her while shouting, "Holy crap! Do you have any smelling salts or something?!"
I proceeded to win the tennis match and retorted, "Haha! You should've been wearing the wrist strap!"
Foxy was fine. When she woke up I told my brother her name and he burst out laughing. Foxy got mad and left.
Well, me and Debbie are officially dating. I watched her jump on a mountain lion the other day and tear its spine out and I just knew she was the girl for me. She then proceeded to wear the spine like a scarf and I second guessed myself. But then we made out and I once again knew she was the girl for me.
Debbie and I were cooking up a deer the other day (we shoved the whole thing into the oven. It eventually stopped screaming and started cooking) when we heard a thud at my cave door. I opened it up and saw Sheryl on the ground, putting her kids back into her backpack. I looked at the door and saw a big dent. "Sher," I said, "do you need glasses?"
"Don't be an idiot, Nate, of course not," she hastily replied.
"You're always flying into things."
"Don't be a complete and utter retard, Nate, I am not."
Then we all had dinner and it was nice. Sher and Deb got along great. As we were eating we could hear Bud's band playing in the distance. It was excellent dining music.
And then the next day I was strolling through the woods and saw Sheryl sitting on a branch. I burst out laughing. She flew away. She was wearing a big goofy pair of glasses.
Oh man. What? I just woke up. I'm wearing a tuxedo and I don't know where it came from. Three pots of coffee + two bottles of whiskey is just asking for trouble, eh? Maybe not. I got this sweet tuxedo out of it.
adventurous
sweaty
argumentative
handsome
hopeful
bouncy
tired
hyper