Changing gears
Category: Life

     One thing I'm really going to miss about summer is no school and less time to play outside. Don't get me wrong, I really enjoy teaching and it's mostly a lot of fun. But man I love working in the yard, my flower beds and my garden! I love playing in the sprinkler with Pippa.... ahhh. The bad thing about fall coming is everything dies, it don't matter how many hours you put in, or how many times your eyes have stung like hell because of the sweat in them... when it's over, it's over. My herbs didn't do so well this year... the parsley did great, but my rosemary and dill died pretty quickly. I think next year I'll try an herb box and see if that works better, also I think I had my soil draining too well. Less sand next year I guess. I'm going to plant a BUNCH of mellons next year too. I've spent a small fortune on honeydew and things like that!

  I've spent hours over the past few weeks getting lesson plans and science experiments planned. This year we're doing chemistry, yea one of my favorite things! I got a bunch of air dry clay so we can put compounds together and paint them the right colors and make our covalent, ionic, etc bonds with tooth picks. I also got small ballons and colored tissue paper so we can make models of chemicals and chemical compounds attach them and hang them from the ceiling in the science area. Should be fun. I still need to come up with a way to physically show transfer of electons, maybe that could be a project??? We're also going to be doing an archaeological dig, and making a small scale dig of our own. Man I LOVE science! This year is going to be crazy busy, more than any other year! Pippa starts Kindergarten this year, and I'll still be picking Chance up at school. I've been looking at our schedule a lot and it's looking like I'll have to start school at about 6:30am or so to get our day in and I'll most likely have to assign homework... I hate doing that... More work for them, more work for me... and really if your not interacting I think it's just busy work. Learning needs to be bigger than the book they're given to read!! Well I'm getting really tired and I've got to be upa nd at em' pretty early. Thanks for reading and have a great day!

4:03 AM - 2 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Yea for antibiotics!
Current mood: groggy

Well after 3+ weeks of being sick with a sinus infection, freaking out head artery, antidepressant withdrawl, no ambien, and 4 days of almost constant nose bleeds I got to see my Dr, & the pharmacy  let me charge almost $800.00 worth the meds. I have hope now that I will not die from a damn sinus infection! I have the greatest Doc.  He's always so kind to all of us. Anywho...I didn't go for so long because I didn't have medical coverage.... I'm taking predisone again for this artery in my head that keeps trying to kill me, and that stuff always makes my insomnia worse. Nathan is in GB with his Dad so I didn't have to worry tonight about waking up for a seizure or something like that.... and I still couldn't sleep! I'm either too hot, too cold, pillows to high, pillow falls off bed, fan isn't hitting me in the face right, fan is hitting me right and the cold air is killing my face... now it's 5:33 am, I've been fighting insomnia & fevers all night and I have to be up in a few hours to drive to GB for July 4th. I love going, we have a great time and blow up " the good stuff"... but all I want to do is lay in bed, listen to Stephen King stories, and try to sleep. I'm afraid everyone would be really upset with me if I didn't go, I guess I had just get to bed for awhile and then get up and do it... I've already got my salads and brownies made, and watermellon for the occasion.  Hmm well if you've read this far... I truly hope you have a GREAT 4th, you deserve it!! LOL I'm gonna go listen to The Green Mile, even though the end always makes me cry. It's a thankful cry and those are okay ;0)

3:19 AM - 3 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Tornado Clean-up
Current mood: determined
Category: Life

     Tomorrow at 8 am the National Guard is meeting people to go help clean up the mess in Chapman. Chapman is the town that has been 80% dystroyed by the tornado the other night. I'm gonna go help for a few hours. I wish I had a bunch of money, I'd go over there and just hand out cash to those poor folks. But I have time and that's the best thing I can give at this time. I wish there would have been alittle more heads up about it so I could have tried to get some people to go with me. I know this is dangerous work and people might get hurt tomorrow, but I feel I have to go. Isn't that why we have each other? So that we can be there to help each other out? I don't think people help each other enough in everyday life. When something bad happens people usually band together for the greater good, it's just the everyday life things that we fail each other with.  Anyway that's my observation.
   I haven't been on here in about 3 months. I'm so weird that way. I'm all go and then I loose intrest and I'm somewhere else for awhile. I wish I could be one of those people who stick with what ever they start until the end. I'm great out the gate, LOL. I love coming up with ideas and getting things started. I think I have ADD of the head. Really I do. I'm always going 500 mph inside, but on the outside I appear calm and collected. Well that's for another blog. I'd better get the laundry finished and things... Take care

7:44 PM - 2 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

Been gone so long & where my head is
Current mood: energetic

Well my account got hacked so I couldn’t get on to my profile.... I didn’t die, or bail out on anyone.. Just a lasting computer problem...  Well It’s Easter.... I spent the morning driving my car on the highway, I drove about 100 miles this am. Nathan is in Hays with his dad, Sashi was asleep. The kids have way outgrown Easter Bunny  so I thought I’d go have some alone time to think.... That’s usually NOT a good thing for me to do. This was the first year I didn’t buy stuff for Easter baskets... Gave me an empty feeling. I’m just not done being a "mommy" yet.  I still get so angry when I think about how my life turned out. I wanted 4-5 kids, badly!!! I mean I wanted them so bad that I tell God when I pray, please let me know the children I lost when I get to heaven. I lost 3.... twins and a single... I know people say, Oh just get over it, but my heart longs for those children. My heart longs for my idea of a perfect life. I wanted the husband, the kids, the dog and the white fence and kinky sex. I wanted to finish school, I wanted to be a doctor but I didn’t think I was up to the math so I settled for nursing.. There is a guy in my life that loves me dearly, and I love him too. But I’m so scared of repeating the past. And I’m scared of being trapped. I always have to have an escape plan for everything I do. He wants to get married.... Oh Lord that scares me. I mean if this didn’t work out, how do I run, where do I go?  I mean then I have my kids involved and what they want is important to me. See there it was, me trying to come up with an escape plan. Maybe I’m not ment to be married? But I love taking care of others, I love making sure the kids have their socks neatly folded in the drawers etc. I can make homemade bread... I’m a very domesticated person, so what’s the problem? I’m not sure I could handle being married without starting to drink again, lol! Well I’d better get the dishwasher unloaded and maybe play alittle guitar hero.... Hope everyone has a great Easter. Later....

12:46 PM - 4 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment

Tired
Current mood: exhausted

Everyone is asleep. Nathan isn't feeling well and crashed on the sofa. Sash feels weird and went to bed. My Mom is alseep... Tiger and Cooper are sleeping with her.... Chaz our puppy is crashed out in my bed, under the electric blanket....I'm gonna go to bed too. It's weird I was fine when I was out running errands today but now I'm exhausted and my head kinda hurts... I think I'll check the carbon monoxide detector, make sure it's working!!! and then go to bed for awhile. I'll be back later... Mike I'll catch up with ya when I wake up. Night, night

1:32 PM - 1 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Where I’ve been & whats been going on
Current mood: energetic

Wow I almost feel alittle embarrassed I've been gone so long. Anyway here is what has been happening. First on my birthday ( the 15th) I went with my sister-in-law to take my neice to the Dr. Well we got there and they say we don't have an appointment and the "Dr" we were suppose to see has the day off... Nice huh? Here we are with this little girl who hasn't really pooped in 11 days, she's sick and we don't have an appointment. They said oh you can wait around but you wont see anyone for a few hours. Well this isn't working for me, so I told my sister-in-law ) Bethanne), let's take Pippa to my Dr. He's working in ER today and I know he'll take very good care of her. So we pack up and leave town to go see him. Well by this time Pippa is really ,really sick. She ends up being admitted. She's dehydrated something aweful, the x-ray shows she's full of poop, but something worse is there. A HUGE wad of air is trapped in her small intestines. This wad of air was so big the Dr was scared it might rupture her little intestine. Well Thank GOD Pippa seen someone who actully cared and got her to feeling better. He's really a great Doc, and believe me with my kiddo's I've met alot of Doctors and know good ones from bad ones really fast!!! She needs to see another specilist, I think we're going to Nebraska to see someone this time. Pippa is 5 years old and weighs 35 lbs. She's super tiny . Mal-nutrition and this pooping deal has always been a problem. Anyway it's looking like she has a kink in her intestines that isn't letting food pass like it should. Everytime this little girl eats it hurts her tummy and she gets sick. It's been an ongoing nightmare since she was about 2 weeks old! Now Pippa is more than my neice and my God-daughter. She's more like my baby. I was there when she took her first breath, and she's my brother's little girl. My brother is the greatest man that ever walked this Earth since Jesus was here. He has saved me in everyway a person can be saved, and not just from drowning at a hotel pool. And his wife, Pippa's mommy is the greatest friend I've ever had, she's a bit weird sometimes but a blast to do anything with. Mostly camping!!! So Pippa is... Well this little girl is everything to me, I've spent about 40+ hours a week with her pretty much every week since she was first born... We're tight! So Prayers for my Pippa would be greatly appreciated!  Ok then Nathan gets a sinus infection which means more seizures, and his head has been killing him... My poor Nay, he's having a hard time! Then my computer gets hacked and everytime I try to sign in it would say my password had been changed, we'll I'd change it and wham... it would be changed again before I could sign in.... This pissed me off so bad I almost threw the monitor out the dining room window!!!  Then Tuesday I had a horrible migraine and had to go to ER and get a shot... well two shots, one in each cheek.. so the next day is wasted because I'm exhausted from the pain and have a narcotic hangover.... Yesterday we got a new washer & dryer which is like getting a new toy to me!!! So I spent the day having school with Nathan and searching the house for anything to wash, I ran out of cloths pretty fast so I started washing sheets, hahaha. Last night Sashi got my computer fixed for me, so here I am....  and that's what's been going on. I pray things slow down a bit, it's exhausting just thinking about everything. Pippa goes to the Dr for a check up today, I'm so happy they changed Drs and now my Doc is Pippa's doc. I know now she'll be taken care of like she should be! Well Nathan is taking a nap, I think I'll go play guitar hero while I can.  Oh and if you read this rattle all the way to the end, Thanks :0)   Have a great day!!!!  Angie

9:32 AM - 4 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

Headache
Current mood: distressed

 My monitor lights are too bright, they're hurting me.... I'll be back later when I get control of the headache...

3:07 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Mid-life Crisis??
Current mood: content

Do ya ever wonder what ahppen to all the plans you had for your life? I was just getting Nathan's assignments ready for after lunch and I thought to myself.... when did life get into such a routine? I mean when I was 25 I was on the Dean's Honor Roll taking microbiology, chemistry, blah blah blah and wham just like that it was over for me. 3 weeks more and I would have been working at Wesley Medical Center having my loans paid for but I ended up in the hospital, sick, pregnant and just like that my whole life changd forever. My son was born, he had a birth injury and I chose to stay at home and care for him... never to return to school. School was a big deal for me. See I wanted to get my Master's in Nursing- I wanted to be a peds or OB nurse. I would stay up until 3-4 am studing and have class at 7 am the next morning. I did that for years, almost 5 years. I have enough credits to have a degree but because my loans are defaulted I can't have my credits....  Also because of the loans I can't go back either. Besides Nathan isn't really well enough for that anyway. It's just that it still hurts me, to be so close to my dream and have it ripped right out of my hands. Maybe this is how things were suppose to happen. I mean I do know that if I hadn't had all this training, both of my kids would have already died. Mostly Nathan. He was 2 weeks old the first time I had to do CPR on him. And it does make things easier, because if we have to go to ER and it's a really stupid Dr, ya can call em on it. I think ER doc's are dangerous. We don't go unless it's a real 911 and then he's usually airlifted out of here anyway. But I sometimes wonder how things would be now if I had got to finish? Ya know I do know what would have happen. I'd be right here where I am now. Nathan needs me, and this is where I belong... Life isn't over yet and I still have alot of work to do. Starting with his math lessons this afternoon. ((( smiles))) I guess really I am ok with things

9:27 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Changed my mind
Current mood: thoughtful

I was thinking I'd stop blogging. I left my computer and went into the kitchen, made a pot of Java and thought..... nope I'm not. It don't matter if anyone reads it. It's a great outlet for me... and I don't really have one. I mean I'm home most all the time, I don't do the bar scene, the place I liked to go crop went out of buisness, I sleep too late in the am to go to church... besides most church folks scare me, and typing is easier than writing in my journal. So I'm gonna keep on blogging, just for me. I must say it's weird to be up for hours now and no one up with me. The kids are still crashed so it's just me & Cooper. And it looks like Cooper is getting ready to go back to bed.... Cooper used to be named Kyria, he's the little kitten I found starved. I need to get pics of him up, he's such a doll. Some dumbass missed out on having a wonderful friend by treating him the way they did. I'm truely thankful I found him in time to save his life and that we have a wonderful vet!   It makes me feel really good to do something, anything that makes life better... for people or animals. Mostly animals, they don't have as many choices as people do... Ok I've rattled enough to feel better. I'm going to go defrost the freezer.... Sometimes I wonder if I have adult hyper something... I don't have a concentration problem, but man I can't take much time to sit & do nothing.... I have guilt if I'm not busy cleaning or doing something, but that's another time, another blog..... peace
   

7:51 AM - 1 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

sleep & blogging

I'm so happy, I actually slept... hours..... I'm going to stop blogging, no one reads this crap anyway.

7:21 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment