Gender: Female
Status: Single
Age: 28
Sign: Scorpio
City: Chicago
State: Illinois
Country: US
Signup Date:
04/15/05
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Sunday, August 24, 2008
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Seriously....
Current mood:  forgotten
Category: Life
I've been reading some blogs from the past 2 years.
And I've realized something.... I have gotten WAY too damn serious. Too serious by a long shot.
Things changed in certain ways over the past year that were really tragic, with certain people in my life. But, that is no reason to stop being me... and, me is very light and uppity, not down in the dumps!!!
So..... What is the solution?
Laugh at stuff.
Find stuff to laugh AT.
Find lots of stuff that is totally meaningless and talk about it.
For instance.... mice. They are cute, yet somehow dirty. And... baby tigers. They are cute, but somehow dangerous when they grow up.
I miss the funny people who once populated my life.... Seems we all went through changes we didn't understand, just like on Return to the Blue Lagoon, or some shit.
Seems like things just got waaaaaayyy too heavy and that feels so fucked up that I can't really begin to explain it.
But the same people are still all there. And the love.... it's still there too, just encapsulated in bullshit.
It'll all come back, though. All the love.... all the friendship... will eventually be there again. I'm going to make sure of that.
So...the thing is I have taken myself soooo seriously and I just can't do it anymore. Life is supposed to be fun....this year was supposed to be fun....
And it's been one long painful struggle just to make it through to the finish line. And the finish line has been all playing hard to get and stuff.
Things will change. I'll return to myself again. I'll get that sparkle back.... and I know just how, too.
-L
3:02 PM
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Tuesday, June 24, 2008
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Status Report: Bananas, Raccoons, and Piano Porn
Current mood:  bouncy
Category: caffeine anyone? Music
Status Report:
AHEM!
Status of me: Happy now that I have moved to a different desk and am going to be in a different job in a WEEK!
Status of desk: CLEAN... wow it feels good to get rid of your old junk, especially if the old junk was just plain JUNK and nothing of value... I have seen this to be true for me, that the less crap I've got weighing me down, the better I feel, the more space I have. Space makes you feel free, and you can't have a lot of space if your space is filled up with garbage, old memories, things you don't know what to do with, and other miscellaneous bullshit.
Status of Racoons: OK so my new name is "lane raccoon". Did I tell you this already? don't know. Brandon named me that. Brandon is Clair's husband, and his name is "Brandon Bear" and he is married "Clair Bear". Yeah... I know we're all sickeningly cute but what the hell!
Status of stage pianos: going to sneak off during lunch to look at stage pianos at Guitar Center. Have 2 gigs with Spherical Banana this weekend and NEED A GOOD PIANO!!! Chris was sending me links to pianos on eBay and Craigslist and said, is this annoying you? I replied, NO, keep sending them, pianos are sexy and wonderful, I feel like you are sending me porno. So.... he is continuing to send me "porno" daily. Which is just fine with me. I'd rather look at pianos than penises. =)
Status of green tea: I really am deeply in love with green tea.
Status of changing one's environment: OK if you really can't get your head out of your ass, this is what you need to do. Changing desks for me did HUGE amounts for my state of mind. Changing homes will do even better for my mental state. This is a very valid form of therapy!
Status of making cold calls: The only way to do this is with a sense of humor. If you don't.... you sound like an ass hole and that's the truth.
Status of Robert Plant: So all of us (the Banana and the Bunch... har har) went to see Robert Plant & Alison Krause at Ravinia last week. It ROCKED. Of course we were about 7,000,234 miles away from the stage so I didn't have exactly the same experience I had years ago when I saw Page & Plant from a skybox at the United Ctr, but, oh well. It still rocked. By the way, did I mention that Robert Plant is, like, the messiah of humanity???
Status of Playing on Stage: Truly..... the reason I'm living. I was thinking about this, this morning, that this is what I've always known I wanted to do and it's been such a bummer that I get into these relationships, where I start focusing all my creative energy on a guy, a lot of whom don't even fucking CARE about my ART, which is kinda like saying, "Well, I dated Janis Joplin and was interested in the size of her boobs".... I mean, come on people. Get your head out of your university-sized ass and look at who you're involved with. You don't date Shakespeare if you're not much into the theatre. It would be a cryin' shame. It would be a travesty. It would be tyranny. It would be treachery. It would be like Harry Potter dating Dolores Umbridge. It would be like, split-pea flavored poatato chips. It would be .... dumb.
Status of my BAND: I love my band. They are the SHIT!!!! No seriously. Never in my life have I felt more "in my element" with two people, as friends and as artists. We are going to ROCK CHICAGO!
Status of music: My life is music once again. May it never ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever EVER be anything else again.
Can ..... you............ DIG IT????
-L
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Currently
listening
:
Raising Sand
Release date: 2007-10-23
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10:15 AM
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5 Comments - 8 Kudos
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Tuesday, June 10, 2008
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Constructive Criticism?!?!?!?
Current mood:  awake
Category: Religion and Philosophy
"Now, one of the mechanisms of society in the control of individuals is: 'Criticism is good for you. We are giving you constructive criticism.'
"Now, if you give a person enough constructive criticism, he'll cease to exist. If you give an artist enough constructive criticism, he will utterly cease to 'art.' ...
"Now, the field of the arts must be of all things the most self-determined of any of man's activities. An artist who is not operating on his concept and his own interpretation, or a group of artists which are not operating on their interpretation of the material universe and the human race and the dynamics in general, will not produce art! This accounts for Hollywood.
"Now, when we have, then, constructive criticism, we only have a vicious method of reducing an individual's self-determinism, his ability and his reasoning powers to keep him from producing."
- L. Ron Hubbard
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Currently
listening
:
Elephunk
By
Black Eyed Peas
Release date: 2004-05-26
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3:26 PM
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5 Comments - 8 Kudos
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Thursday, June 05, 2008
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Dead People are Cool....
Current mood:  peaceful
Tonight I went for a quasi-band rehearsal with the Banana, and Jess showed me the amazing graveyard behind her new apartment. We walked around and sang some Grateful Dead (so fitting) and I was struck by a wonderful energy in that place. I've never felt so at home, at peace, in a graveyard. I felt like I was surrounded by the spirits of many very friendly dead people. And, some kickass trees as well as many mosquitos. BUT... it really soothed my soul to be there and I had the senation that we were serenading the dead, which I've never done before and think I'd like to do again soon.
This band is becoming something truly essential to me... a mix choice artistic influences ranging from tribal to hippie to blues to jazz... We're thinking about auditioning a conga/bongo player and doing some hymnal stuff, and original songs are on the way soon too. Our next gig on the [shameless plug alert!!] 20th of June will ROCK.
Also I'm so excited, we're all going to see Robert Plant & Alison Krause at Ravinia, on the June 18th.
All in all, there are some very positive influences in my life right now and that's wonderful. I'm coming into my own, and enhancing the lives of others through the arts and through mutual creation and inspiration. That is what I've always wanted for myself.
Now, if I could JUST find a dag blasted ROOMMATE!
Oh and the job situation is good too. I will be making mucho money very soon.
My website is also being published soon, by Misses Goth Bot, ahem, ahem.
So..... I am going to Clair and Brandon's wedding this weekend and singing 2 songs. One is "Somewhere Out There", and the other, I've decided tonight, will be "When you say nothing at all" by Alison Krause. Beautiful, beautiful song.
On this beautiful night when I've bought 2 pairs of silver high heels, drank a mango shake, sang a few great songs and communed with the dead.... I bid you all adieu.....
...off to the land of music and harmony....
-L
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Currently
listening
:
Now That I've Found You: A Collection
By
Alison Krauss
Release date: 1995-02-07
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8:24 PM
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4 Comments - 6 Kudos
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Saturday, May 24, 2008
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Resistance (poem)
Current mood:  adored
Category: Writing and Poetry
Resistance
Trying to maintain
ME
while waves of you
fly through my stratosphere
while I writhe I think slowly
thoughts dripping like molasses
and mercury
running away too quickly for me to grab them
but for a moment I grab and hold the space
the space
my space
I carve out a piece of this universe
and stake my flag there
and I say, you will NOT move this
this concept....this feeling... my view
my decision
you can not move me
though your energy permeates me
trying to impregnate my mind
with your presence
trying to change my color
trying to dilute me
make me blue
I grab onto the sides of the universe and brace myself
against your force
and I stand firm.
you bounce like a flower petal
and burn in the atmosphere
while behind me an explosion colors the sky
red and gold
with spent passion
which dissolves into ashes
falling from your eyes
while I continue
walking
forward.
Lane Eddington
May 24 2008
1:12 AM
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3 Comments - 6 Kudos
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Monday, May 19, 2008
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The Elbo Room
Current mood:  accomplished
Last night was awesome! We played at the Elbo Room and rocked it - played with a few other cool acts, my favorite was DriveTrain, they did some Pfunk and some Stevie Wonder songs and they were very funked out.
It was one of the first times in my life that.... well, I hadn't had such a great day but I just totally pulled it off and did a great show anyway, and after the show I had the distinct feeling... "Fuck all that shit, I am now in a working band in Chicago. So - I WIN!"
Really... I'm starting to have this feeling like I can handle life. I can do it. I have confidence in myself again. And, when this girl has confidence in something, look out world!
Next, Spherical Banana will be doing some recordings to put up on myspace, and working on some new material. It'll rock, of course, because our blend of 60's jam music, folk classics and melodic ballads is always welcome... especially when it comes with the added flavor of our original creative awesomeness.
I got a free cranberry juice and I'm happy about that.
Off to the day job....
-L
7:12 AM
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2 Comments - 4 Kudos
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Saturday, May 17, 2008
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Ending (poem)
Current mood: accomplished
Category: Romance and Relationships
Ending a cycle
always feels like dying
sometimes a little
sometimes a lot
depending on how many
worlds were created
during that cycle.
Love is a world
each time you love-
a created universe,
an eternity of time, hopes, dreams, desires,
memories, places, feelings, LIFE
I gave this world to you...
You put it up for sale.
I grew my gardens around
your stone walls...
And made your house float.
And you said.... stop you're ruining
the property value.
You toss out God
with the evening paper.
So, I die.
But you can not kill God, of course.
Flowers always return, in Spring.
Passion is only the fireflies that
sometimes signal a REAL summer
coming on.
You will have your stone walls.
You will keep your house.
But there will be no more flowers for you,
and summer will always be slightly chilly.
No more songs or poems or
dances at midnight-
when you'd rather be sleeping anyway.
There will be no universe of mine
shining like a beacon
walled up in the pantry
of your immaculate kitchen,
adorned with a smock you wear
to tend weeds that grow through
the floors of your life.
There will be no art
in my smile for you
anymore.
Die, oh universe
Die, oh love
Die, oh beauty
So I can create once more
So the cycle can begin again
And I can give the world
to someone
who wants it.
-Lane Eddington
May 17 2008
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Currently
listening
:
Confessions on a Dance Floor
By
Madonna
Release date: 2005-11-15
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11:59 AM
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2 Comments - 4 Kudos
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Friday, March 21, 2008
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The "Chemical Imbalance" FRAUD
Current mood:  cynical
Category: News and Politics
I have been ranting on this for years... but if you don’t wanna listen to me, here’s an MD for ya:
’The Northern Illinois University Murders Due to ’Chemical Imbalances’ or ’Chemical Balancers’ - Drugs?’ - Fred A. Baughman Jr., MD, Neurologist/Child Neurologist
EL CAJON, Calif., Feb 21, 2008 /PRNewswire via COMTEX/ -- Writing of the Northern Illinois University shooter, Steven P. Kazmierczak, The New York Times (Benedict Carey, 2/19/08, A20) remarks " ... doctors say it is almost impossible to tell whether the spasms of violence stem in part from the drug reactions or the underlying illnesses." A girlfriend said Kazmierczac took Prozac to battle anxiety and compulsive behavior. While psychiatry (psychology too) and the pharmaceutical industry want anxiety, depression, elation impulsiveness, poor conduct, trouble with math, reading, writing, etc., portrayed as brain abnormalities/diseases/disorders/syndromes, so as to be able to portray their drugs as "treatments," throughout medical recorded history, there is no such thing as an demonstrable physical abnormality/disease in all of psychiatry.
Diseases of the brain, multiple sclerosis, amyotrophic lateral sclerosis-Lou Gehrig’s disease, stroke, meningitis, etc., are the province of neurology, my specialty. This was assured in 1948 when the two specialties were formally split with "neuropsychiatry" becoming the separate, new specialties, "psychiatry" and "neurology." This means that the drugs prescribed by psychiatrists (and throughout mental health, by all sorts of doctors) are toxins/poisons, the first and only demonstrable abnormality/disease that psychiatric patients have. But today, patients are lied to -- told, for purposes of informed consent, that they have a disease or chemical imbalance. This gains their consent. Whether it is actual informed consent is irrelevant to the pharmaceutical companies. There is little doubt that without the "chemical imbalance" lie the epidemic psychiatric drug poisoning would be a small fraction of what it is today.
As in the University of Northern Illinois case, almost all of the high school, and college shooters have been psychiatric patients on a diet of psychiatric drugs. Nor is the issue of whether they still have the poison in their system or not critical. All psychiatric drugs damage the previously normal brain and body. This is how they alter the subjective symptoms for which they are said to be "treatment." Even if stopped they have altered and thus damaged the previously normal individual.
At a 1970 Congressional hearing on the drugging of school children where hyperactivity was first called a brain disease, Dr John D. Griffith, Assistant Professor of Psychiatry, Vanderbilt University School of Medicine, testified: "I would like to point out that every drug, however innocuous, has some degree of toxicity. A drug, therefore, is a type of poison and its poisonous qualities must be carefully weighed against its therapeutic usefulness." Such a scientific, weighing of the risks vs. the benefits of psychiatric medications is virtually never carried out today because the psychiatric diagnosis, never a "chemical imbalance"/disease, is always portrayed as one. Why? Because the psychiatric diagnosis is almost always portrayed as one requiring treatment with a "chemical balancer", or pill. Every year, tens of thousands of children are court-ordered to take psychiatric drugs for diagnoses such as ADHD, conduct and oppositional-defiant disorders. Should their parents refuse, then, without trial, the parents are pronounced "medically negligent" and threatened with the loss of custody of the child -- their child. Their child whose emotional life they are no longer allowed to direct. This is what we have come to in the USA!
Eric Harris, who was denied enlistment into the armed services, and one of the two Columbine shooters, had been on Zoloft, a Prozac-like antidepressant. There is no such thing as the balancing of the "chemical imbalance" portrayed in the Zoloft ad. And yet the FDA, as much a part of the pharmaceutical enterprise as psychiatry, allows the pharmaceuticals to peddle their lies directly to the American public via publicly-owned airwaves.
Today, in the US, we have been so taken in by the "chemical imbalance"/ "chemical balancer" lie that 9-10 million school children are on one or more psychiatric drugs, including 60-70% of those in foster care (who cannot defend themselves). At the same time psychiatry asks us to believe that half of all of us in the US will one day be afflicted with a "serious mental disorder"/ "chemical imbalance" ("Are we all going mad, or are the experts crazy?" Stuart A. Kirk, Los Angeles Times, August 14, 2005) and that they too will need one or more "chemical balancers"/drugs. By Fred A. Baughman Jr., MD Neurologist/Child Neurologist
SOURCE Fred A. Baughman Jr., MD
here’s the link: http://www.foxbusiness.com/article/northern-illinois-university-murders-chemical-imbalances-chemical-balancers_490227_1.html
7:16 AM
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Tuesday, February 12, 2008
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Fashion Hurts
Current mood: accomplished
Category: Fashion, Style, Shopping
I wore these all day.... yes, in the snow... if that's not dedication, I don't know what is.
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Currently
listening
:
HIStory: Past, Present and Future, Book I
By
Michael Jackson
Release date: 20 June, 1995
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11:38 PM
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5 Comments - 8 Kudos
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Thursday, February 07, 2008
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Creed
Current mood:  content
In case anyone was wondering what it is I believe in, I thought I'd let you in on it:
The Creed of the Church of Scientology
8:47 PM
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3 Comments - 4 Kudos
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