Fuck everything

You know when it rains it pours... My grandmother died on Sunday, sad, but it was here time, also today I was dumped, sad but I guess it was my time

It seems to me that life is really shitty right now, but the one thing that keeps me going is the fact that if life is this shitty then it can't get much worse, right?

I have left the state of california to visit with family in Chicago I do hope that when I return things in my life will be a little bit different.

7:01 PM - 5 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment

Love

This is how I feel

Waiting in a line to get slapped by life

Tired and lost in a feeling that may be a lie

Autopiloting my way to some unknown destination

I am happy for you, things should work out for you, but being the innocent bystandard of your good fortune is something unforgiveable.

I opened up fully and let this in without hesitation, thinking my total willingness to the possibility of love would bring some fortune down my path as well. And it did, for a time, and I am thankful to atleast have that.

You said the universe owes you, did you ever think I might be part of that prize? That this is a peice of what the universe is paying you?

Maybe I am being selfish in wanting you. Maybe I am being selfish in wanting you to try to feel, but I see things in your eyes when we are lying quietly looking at eachother, lost in a moment of beauty, that contradicts the things you speak. I can see more in your eyes than you could ever say.

So tell me what to do now, its your turn, don't be afriad, just dive in, I am waiting here.................

Your Move

11:49 AM - 3 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Just checking in

alright so this is what is happening now... Bonnaroo was fucking awsome! I had so much fun and met so many wonderful people. I saw so many great bands and did so many things that I don't think I will need another vacation for awhile.

My apt, I have decided is really too small for me and my two cats. It is also really hard to live in a place that does not have a kichen. I need to find a new place to dwell. I would love to find some cool roomies and get an actual apartment.

I am also seeing a guy in healdsburg which makes living in the City hard. I really feel this one is really special and I would love to live closer to him. But sonoma county is not really the best place for a paralegal... the pay stinks in this county.

I need to move regardless... the question is where? I can afford between 0- 900 a month. I need a place where I can have my two cats, a place with a kichen, a place either with cool people or alone, a place either in SF or Oakland or Berkeley or Sonoma County, a place with a large bedroom.

If any of you have any ideas please let me know, all help is really apreciated

Also I am thinking about going to a festival in October called Vegoose... anyone ever been before?

1:04 PM - 1 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Life, the universe and everything

So...What do you do when you are turning 26 in two days, are going crazy, have no job, and really are feeling lost? I wish I knew.

This world is pushing down on me so hard that I have no idea what to do. I think I am going through a mid twentys meltdown. I am scarred and I am lost and I am alone!

I wish I had not moved to this crazy city alone. I should have brought someone with me. I should have moved in with roomates my age. I should not have let myself get fired. I should know what to do with my life.

I keep asking myself why am I here? There is no logical answer. More when I have more energy!

8:13 PM - 9 Comments - 6 Kudos - Add Comment

Coachella was fucking awsome!!!
Current mood: crazy

Well Coachella was awsome! I would have loved to just lived in Coachella forever! I would highly reccommed this festival to anyone who loves music. I think this experience has made me addicted to festival format for concerts I really want to go to the austin city limits festival and the saschquach festival and the bonaroo festival and lollapaloza I just want to go to more festivals, if anyone is going to any of these or has been to others that rock please let me know because I need to go to more!!!!!!!!!

Currently listening : Homework By Daft Punk Release date: 25 March, 1997

2:41 PM - 3 Comments - 3 Kudos - Add Comment

Going to Coachella!!!!
Current mood: excited

Hello everyone,

I am so excited because I am going to Coachella today. I will be leaving SF at about Ten o'clock tonight for the festival and I am feeling like a crazy person here at work!!!! I want to be on the road now.

are any of you going??? Have any of you been before and have some servival tips for me??? I will try to put some pics up while I am there.

YES YES YES !!!!!

Currently listening : Coachella By various Release date: 30 May, 2005

10:50 AM - 4 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

This City is Tearing me apart

Since I have moved here I have been:

1. mugged

2. acosted

3. stolen from

4. taken advantage of

5. living with a crazy roommate that would not let me have boys over or anyone else for that matter

6. having problems making friends and have been very lonely

I think if things continue like this I just might go crazy. I am moving again, this time to Bernal Hights, hopefully this area of SF will be a better fit then the Haight! Wish me luck on this crazy adventure.

Crystal

1:03 PM - 2 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Learning how to live in the City

So...The City...really, really, really fun, but scarry, and lonely, and hard. I have noticed that everyone you meet(almost) wants something from you. I have not met someone yet who just wanted to talk for the sake of talking, they want either sex, money, smokes, whatever. It is hard to make friends here, I am trying and will continue to try but its hard to brake into a group. I knew that for the first couple of months I would be lonely and I thought I was ready for it but I was not, it is really starting to get to me and I have only been here for a week and a half.

The worst part is that everytime I think I have made a connection with someone it seems that I am mistaken. I know it is not me, because I have been as friendly as possible, but if it is not me then who is it?

Please give me some city friend tips...I need some sort of direction.

Crystal

8:38 AM - 2 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

living in the city

So, I moved into my new apt. in SF yesterday during a crazy rain storm! There was so much rain and wind and lightning, it was a crazy time. I almost got blown off the GG Bridge! I love my apt, it is great, but my cats are a little bit afraid of all the new sounds of the city. I think they will adjust but it will take some time.

Now for the rub! I am at work in San Rafael writing this and I have no money to get home tonight, by home I mean across the GG bridge, my bank account is 145.00 overdrawn because of the move and I don't get paid til friday, What Do I Do??? I was thinking of asking my boss if I could get an advance of like 40 dollars but I have a feeling they don't do that, well lets hope that someone pittys me or I find a fiver on the ground today or Crystal is sleeping in the office.

9:46 AM - 1 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Moving to the CITY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am moving to San Fran on the 27th of this month and I am so excited. I am moving to the Haight in a really great apartment across the street from Magnolia's. If any of the people reading this have any reccomondations of things to see or places to go please let me know. The city is new to me and I am going to need all the help I can get!

As well if anyone knows of a good vet in the city I really need one.

Crystal

10:44 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment