First impressions lead to obligitory judgements.

Schools great! Not smoking sucks!

English Composition 1102 is my first class of the day. It starts at 8am which is just a half hour after the library opens. If I get to school at 7 I can have a cup of coffee in the quad and go over the notes I've taken, then greet the librarian as she opens the door to scan a few chapters in the required reading and still make it to class on time. In English, the pretty girl sits a few rows directly in front of me. The class is taught by a lady named Holmes, who I had during my first attempt at scholastic acheivment. Back in the day, Holmes dressed very prudish, very corporate casual. Picturesque prim. Now she's all flowery skirts and demin jackets, and hippy jewelery. I have to get at least a B in this class.

A few hours later I go to Introduction to world Religion, where the pretty girl sits off to the left of me. The teacher, Heath, is a former minister. That should create a few side shows once we get heavy into class discussions. Most of the people claim to be "kinda athiest/kinda agnostic". I want to turn and scream at them that they can't be both, and that those aren't even religions. If a person comes to you and asks, "What religion are you?", and you say "I'm a liberal", or "I like Captain Crunch", or "I don't believe in Doug Funny", thats about the same as saying "I'm kinda athiest/ kinda agnostic". I'm doing a group project with a couple of greasey faced 18 year old nerds in Religion. I was a little upset about that at first, but now I'm kind of glad. It's not like they're going to have any girls distracting them. Of course, there's always anime.

Finally, on a different day, and during the night, I have Developmental Math, the lowest level math class offered at Northwest Florida State College. It doesn't even count as a credit. It's to make me unstupid with numbers so that I know what to do when I can take a math class that counts. The pretty girl sits off to my right. Unfortunately, the girl in front of me is not pretty at all. She also has some kind of Japanimated cat-rabbit-thing book bag/purse that she wears all the time. So while I'm trying to concentrate on integers, this purple cartoon critter is just staring at me from the back of an unattractive weirdo. The instructor is also a kindergarten teacher. It's just the speed I need when it comes to math.

So, thats school this semester. $1000 to slowly attain an education and spend a couple hours a week being orbitted by pretty girls. It beats the Hell out of fixing lightbulbs in helicopters. 

7:34 PM - 3 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Sharp Pencils and Cold Turkey

Tomorrow is my first day going back to college. After two failed attempts several years ago I feel like I am better prepared to be a student now. Back then I didn't have much motivation to sit in class. I wasn't very patient and I felt like there were a lot of other things I could have been doing. I don't think I was wrong, I did a lot of cool stuff back then. Getting an education has become a bigger priority now though, so I am sure I'll put more effort into it. Besides, everytime I think of skipping class I'll picture myself having to go back into the military and that thought alone will keep me firmly planted at my desk.

Tomorrow is also the day I have decided to stop smoking. I don't like using the word quit. I'm not stopping because I want to be as healthy as possible. I don't want to live forever, in fact if I'm checked out by the time I'm 50 that will be fine with me. It's not the cost of cigarettes, or anything like that. Really I just want to commit to something. I'll stop, I'll see it through, and it will strengthen my resolve when more difficult commitments come along. I started smoking when I was 14 and I've always smoked Marlboro Reds. I was pretty good at hiding it back then. I didn't smoke as much as I do now. I really wanted to impress Donna Vaughn, and I thought smoking was the way to do it. All it did was make me raspy throated and loopy headed and I don't even think Donna ever noticed. I stopped smoking when I went to basic training, I had to, you can't smoke there. It stuck with me for about a year or so but then one morning I woke up and had an overwhelming desire to light up. So I bought a pack this morning and there are nine left. I'll burn those down during the Olympics tonight. The roughest part will be the mornings. The best cigarette is always the one I have with my morning coffee. If you are one of those people who see me everyday, I apologize for my ill temper in the coming weeks. I'm going to be one cranky sum-bitch. 

I met a really cool girl last night but I don't think she likes me.

12:10 AM - 5 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment

No Ropes

No Ropes is lifestyle. Thats a very corny way of describing it but it's quite apt. It's not to describe living in a way that you disregard rules or safety, like no 'safety ropes', 'no lifelines'. Thats too extreme. No Ropes has a much slower pace.

I am not a very good server. I don't always enjoy making people think I am happy, or making them think that I am going to do all I can to make sure they have a pleasant dining experience. In fact I really don't like many of the guests at all. I don't like kids, or the elderly, or groups of five or more. Really, if I could go a whole shift serving just a bunch of two tops that would be great. 

Most of the time I don't have two tops though. A family will come in; a Mother, Father, and four kids all named Dale Earnhart Jr. They all want sweet tea of course, and at least three of them are going to chug the whole glass the moment I put it on the table, and they're going to want it refilled stat. They will order the least expensive appetizers as a meal. At some point during the time they are in my charge they will find something wrong and use it to justify leaving me less than ten percent for a tip. The less they tip me, the more they can spend on t-shirts for their kids.

I love my job though, as difficult as that might be to understand from the previous paragraphs. It's not the customers though, its the people I work with. There isn't a single person at work who I don't enjoy being around. Really. I've often told my friend Kimmy that if it weren't for the customers it would be the best job in Destin. Kimmy and I have a lot of discussions about our job and she is the one who introduced to me the concept of No Ropes.

A bad table can ruin your whole night. If Dale Earnhart Jr 2 spills his tea and it takes more than a minute or two for me to return with another, the koolaid-stached child's father might not decide to tip, which means it has actually cost me money to serve them (because I have tip outs to consider). Infuriated, I'll go to the next table with a chip on my shoulder and piss them off somehow. A vicous cycle ensues, all of it starting with the man from Tennessee who made me angry.

Dale Earnhart Sr metaphorically offers me a rope when he doesn't tip me. He puts it out, but it's up to me whether or not I'm going to take it, and how far I'm going to pull it. Just picking it up represents getting steamed at the fact that he didn't tip me, pulling it represents holding on to the anger (even though he is gone) and letting it effect how I deal with the rest of the people I come into contact with for the rest of the night. Some nights the first table will hand me a rope and I'll pull it all the way to closing sidework.

So, the key to No Ropes is practicing indifference. If I go into the night not caring how much I'm tipped, then its not going to bother me when the tips suck, and it's going to be that much greater when an act of God puts more than 15% on my credit card receipt. It's a sound enough theory, it's rare that I dont get tipped anything at all, and if I have a lot of little tips, they add up. 

I haven't mastered No Ropes, in fact I'm still getting the hang of it. It won't make me rich, but thats fine. After five years of the Navy, its important to have a job where I like the people I work with. More so than leaving at the end of the night with a pocket full of $10 bills that smell like fried shrimp.  

The Batman movie was great, but it was more of a Joker movie, really. Nobody was was talking about Batman after it. It was all Joker quotes, or pencil trick reenactments, or licking of lips. As thick as the allegory was, relating to our country's foreign policy, I'm surprised liberals liked the movie at all. Here is a link to the blog I wrote after I got home from seeing the first Batman movie:  http://colbybfox.livejournal.com/38031.html

5:00 PM - 1 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Link to Paintings

http://vulpeculum.deviantart.com/

I painted these. All of them. Myself.

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