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Tuesday, July 08, 2008
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Ten Tips For Writing Horror
Never let it be said that I never "gave back" to the genre. Here are ten tips for fledgling horror writers who want to see their work go far and be appreciated:
1) Drink.
It was good enough for Edgar Allen Poe and Stephen King, but somehow you're too good for the bottom of a bottle? Amateur.
2) Claws and Tentacles.
Or better yet, claws WITH tentacles. No, wait, that's backwards…
3) Profanity.
When confronted with unspeakable horror from the depths of time, the last words your character speaks before parting ways with his sanity will NOT be "Golly, that thing's gonna bite off my buttocks and swallow my gosh-darn soul!"
4) Unspeakable horrors from the depths of time.
Yeah. That's good for starters.
5) Drama.
Skip it. If readers wanted a love story they'd go watch Lifetime.
6) Violence.
It's quality vs. quantity. If you can't manage both, then pick one, crank it up to eleven, and rip the knob off. Then add more.
7) Pacing.
If there's a slow, boring part in the story… fill it with zombies and set it on fire.
8) Survival instinct.
If all your characters do when confronted with horror is run and scream… you need to go outside more. Anything that crawls out of the sewers in MY neighborhood is going to get shot twice before it gets to the other side of the street.
9) Hope.
Characters need it. Readers need it. Give it to them. Then fill it with zombies and set it on fire.
10) Borderline insanity.
Not the characters… YOU. If you've never considered the idea that, at the very least, you might be "slightly disturbed"… pick another genre.
*This was posted in a blog I stumbled upon and the words ring so fucking true that I thought I'd share. If you'd like to check out the blog where I found it, go here: http://indarkness.darkicon.com
7:01 PM
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Sunday, June 29, 2008
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My scene...
Current mood:  fabulous
....Watch for it!
I'm not spilling the beans on where this appears, but if you are a follower of the series, then you'll recognise the characters. Have fun!!!
Close to the door stood a woman with long jet black hair and coal dark eyes. She stood taller than Chuck who was only five-nine flat footed. Her breasts were full and pert, their nipples easily seen through the thin and skimpy nightie she wore.
She shuffled along slowly, leaned to one side. Dried blood caked the left side of her beautifully, ghostly face. Chuck watched, desirous of her in spite of what she had become.
"Jesus, look at this Duane."
Duane crept closer, "Yeah, I saw her."
"A zombie diva," Chuck whispered, "she's beautiful."
"Are you outta your mind, Chuck? She's dead, dead and rotting.
"How do you know they're rotting?"
"They smell bad Chuck. That's how I know.
"I'd do her."
"You're a sick bastard."
"You can stand there and tell me you don't think she's hot?" Chuck asked.
"She's room temperature Chuck... room temperature. What's that tell you?"
"She's outside temperature."
"Jesus Chuck."
Chuck moved closer. "Where have you been all my life beautiful?"
"Get away from the door Chuck, they'll see you."
"The glass is tinted."
Chuck put his face to the door and licked a trail of saliva a foot long up the glass in front of her.
As if on cue, she lunged forward, crashing into the door. Chuck fell backward into the room and landed on the floor and out of sight once more. The woman continued to paw at the door, still retaining an image in her mind of Chuck's face there.
"I told you dammit!" Duane shook his head ruefully. "You're going to get us all killed!"
"See?" Chuck said and grinned, ignoring Duane's outburst, "She wants me."
"She wants to eat you... and not in a good way."
3:04 PM
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Wednesday, June 11, 2008
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New ad to promote Permuted Press
Jacob in his infinite wisdom and smart business sense (wink) asked me to do some pics to help advertise the new T-shirt line for Permuted Press. I haven't seen the final ad design, but this is the mockup he forwarded to me:
The first ad will appear in the back of William D. Carl's novel BESTIAL: Werewolf Apocalypse! J sez there's more ads appearing as Permuted releases more books. Heh, it's not a bad pic. Of course I wanted to show more titties, but you know, there be children reading these works of the devil, LOL!
4:22 AM
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Wednesday, February 20, 2008
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Zombie Diva appears in Murky Depths Magazine!!!
Current mood:  excited
My good friend Glynn Barrass was inspired to poetry and thusly created a wonderful tribute to moi! It will appear in the March issue of Murky Depths Magazine with wonderful color artwork by Luke Hinchley.
You can order a copy of the mag here: Murky Depths
Unless you live in the UK, then you should be able to find it just about anywhere!
This is an edited, black and white advanced copy of the artwork. It will appear in color (and peekable for you pervs) in the issue!
Images Copyright Luke Hinchley (Art) and Murky Depths (Publisher)
I just think it's been pretty cool to follow Glynn's endeavor from the very start of his putting pen to paper, all the way through to publication! I am honored to be a part of this, even if it was his dark fantasies come alive...
Thanks Glynn!
10:29 AM
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