The NEW Adventures of Nobby McPhadden: Episode II
Category: Parties and Nightlife

Well, Im glad to announce that The NEW Adventures of Nobby McPhadden have been a rousing success!  Thanks to the hundreds of fans who had the experience, and all of their kind words.  If you didnt crap your pants after reading episode 1, then you are either (a) stupid, (b) ugly, or (c) a liar.  Anyhoo, if you thought that was good, wait until you read THE ORGIN OF NOBBY McPHADDEN!!!!!

Episode II: Sudden Plot Twist

Twelve years earlier

The McPhadden ranch was a large stretch of land located somewhere deep within Texas.  The cattle that grazed this ranch grew to quite abnormal stature.  These bovine were therefore very valuable, the most valuable in all of deep Texas.  They had even acquired a certain nickname, McPhaddencows (all one word).  But this is not a story about McPhaddencows, it is instead the sweet and sorrowful tale of young Nobby McPhadden and his difficult relationship with his emotionless father, Gordon McPhadden.  Gordon had been injured in nam when Charlie threw a bag of sand at him.  Some sand had gotten in Gordons eyes, and he had never been the same man.  He could still see and all.  Gordon was so hard, he was know to have said when seeing his newborn son, Ive seen McPhaddencows made of sterner stuff! (Damn!).  So, their relationship was never quite alright.

Young Nobby (34 years old) would escape the cruel wrath of his father, by running to the very far reaches of the ranch to play with his favorite McPhaddencow, Lucy.  Lucy was perhaps, the tiniest of McPhaddencows, making her size more or less that of a regular cow.  Youre not at all mean, Nobby would say, stroking Lucys frilly mane, (McPhaddencows have manes) not mean at all.  Not like my fawther.

Nobby unfortunately had said the wrong thing, as his fawther leaped forth from a nearby tree wielding a cleaver, cleaving poor little Lucy in two.  Nobby wept and cried over Lucys carcass, No Fawther! Why ever did you do such a thing?  His fawther, with a cold hard stare replied, To make you sad!  Dramatic music then kicked in.

NO Fawther, why is it that you hate me so?  Is it these crab reminiscent hands of mine?

no

Is it the fact that me spine is on the outside of my body?

no

Is it my dirty, dirty beard?

no

Then why! Why do you hate me with such passion?

Because of your smell Nobby!  Because of the way you GODDAMN SMELL!

This hit Nobby with surprise.  You see, Nobby was very hygienic (except for his beard), and had no offensive odor whatsoever.  Nobby realized with a sad heart that all along Gordon McPhadden had mistaken his son for the clown that lived in the barn.  And believe me, this clown reeked to high heaven.  So Nobby decided to leave.  He had no idea where to go, so he took a map.  This was an unusual map, for it written in a Spanish- like language that was not Portuguese.  Its landforms matched nothing like that of anything found around the McPhadden ranch.  Still, Nobby felt it was better than nothing.  Besides the map, Nobby took his two other only possessions.  They were a spoon and a deflated balloon.

As soon as Nobby was ten feet away from the Ranch, he heard a whiz bang pow.  Before him was a spaceship.  It was glowing red and looked delicious.  A door opened and out came an older looking Nobby McPhadden.  This older Nobby was shaking and frightened.  He started yelling, Oh dear, Im two late!  I found only two of the twelve mysterious shed things!  The paradox will happen soon!  I shouldnt have wasted all my time playing video poker!  Young Nobby, its too late for me, but not for you!  Take this spaceship away from Earth, as it is about to be horrifically altered due to a devastating paradox thing!  NOOOoooooo!  The older Nobby faded away like people erased by time generally do.  So then Nobby entered the spaceship.  Inside he saw two objects; a septic tank with a gorilla painted on the side of it, and a Davy Crocket style coon-skinned cap.  They seemed to belong in a shed somewhere.  Nobby stepped to the controls.  Luckily, they seemed to be built for some someone with crab like hands.  The spaceship lifted into the sky.  A tear fell from Nobbys eye as he looked back at his shrinking planet.  He thought of his days spent with Lucy the tiny McPhaddencow.  The blue waters of Earth turned pink.

Is this the end of our NEW adventures?  Of coarse not!  The adventures of Nobby McPhadden have just begun.  What will he find in space?  Will he ever return to Earth?  Why did all of Earths water turn pink? (Hint: a paradox) Find out in the next exciting episode of The NEW Adventures of Nobby McPhadden.

Next Episode:  Enter the McPhadden

Currently watching : Balloon Farm Release date: 06 July, 2004

8:13 PM - 5 Comments - 10 Kudos - Add Comment

The NEW Adventures of Nobby McPhadden
Current mood: contemplative
Category: Religion and Philosophy

Hey yal.  I've noticed a recent trend amongst Myspace blogs where people are now writing little stories or poems or some other form of crappy literature.  Being that I'm a person who follows trends, and then pretends not to follow them.  I am going to start mine own epic masterpiece, The NEW Adventures of Nobby McPhadden.  But I'm not doing this because it's a trend... really. 

Episode 1: Or is it?

     Nobby closed the shed door. This was no easy task, as the shed was so full of shed things.  He finally gave the door that little last push to close it.  The walls of the shed buckled.  Nobby wiped his horribly deformed hands together, thinking about all the things he had put in his shed.  He wondered where it was that he had accumulated so many things.  Last he remembered his shed had been practically empty.  He looked again at his hands.  He only had two fingers per hand, only one of his fingers a thumb.  On his other hand, that being his left, he had trained his pinky as a makeshift thumb which worked in tandem with his index.  He often felt like a crab man, due to these pincer-like hands.  That, and the fact that Nobby's spine was on the outside of his body.  That's not really all that crab-like, but slightly reminiscent of an exoskeleton.  But that's not the point of this story.  This story is focused on Nobby's mysterious collection of shed things, which have not been revealed yet.  Searching through his mind, he had been positive that yesterday his shed had only contained four items; a spoon, a rake, a deflated balloon, and a plastic banana.  Although the rake was kind of large, it wasn't nearly enough to fill the entire shed.  Nobby did the math.  There were exactly seventeen items in his shed that he had counted.  This was much more than four.  Then a spaceship landed.  Nobby noticed this, and found it to be strange.  A ramp came down out the spaceship, and a crabman walked down to greet Nobby.  Not a person that was reminiscent of a crab, like Nobby, but a full-fledged half human-half crab.  He opened his crabby mouth and spoke,

 " Mr. McPhadden!  Greetings, I am a crabman named Mark.  I come from a time far in the future where crabs and men have evolved into the exact same thing.  It is terribly confusing.  But that is not the reason I am here.  The focus of my visit is the mysterious items that have been placed in your shed.  You don't remember them being there because of a paradox or something.  Anyway, twelve mysterious items throughout time have been stolen and placed here.  These items are so, that when placed together they create a worm hole, or something like a worm hole, or something.  Anyway, you can't open the door to the shed again for reasons of time travel stuff, you know, paradoxes and the like.  So, like I was saying about this worm hole thing, I traveled through it to get here.  Someone placed these things here for reasons of evil, I think.  And I need you to take my spaceship (which also travels time) to find the guy, or gal, who took these twelve things, and stop them.  You only have seventy-eight hours to do this, for if this time passes without your mission completed, something bad and paradox like will happen.  I'll be here, watching TV and stuff."

And so Nobby boarded the spaceship, and took it through the worm hole to his first mysterious, unknown location.  The wormhole looked much like he had expected.  Kind like outer space whooshing past you with hourglasses and grandfather clocks floating around to remind you that youre traveling time.  But just then a thought popped into Nobby's mind.  Mark had told him twelve things had been placed in the spaceship.  Adding that to the four items already there, that added up to sixteen.  Nobby clearly remembered counting seventeen items that day....

What could this mysterious seventeenth item be?  What are the other twelve items?  Who placed them in Nobby's shed?  What would a crabman watch on TV?  Stay tuned for the next exciting episode of, The NEW Adventures of Nobby McPhadden!

 Next Episode:  Sudden Plot Twist

Currently watching : Best of Xtreme Sports Bloopers Release date: 13 May, 2003

5:16 PM - 3 Comments - 6 Kudos - Add Comment

the movie

The Movie Of Your Life Is A Black Comedy

http://images.blogthings.com/ifyourlifewasamoviewhatgenrewoulditbequiz/black-comedy.jpg" height="100" width="100"> In your life, things are so twisted that you just have to laugh. You may end up insane, but you'll have fun on the way to the asylum. Your best movie matches: Being John Malkovich, The Royal Tenenbaums, American Psycho

3:40 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

super

Your results:
You are Superman

Superman 90% Spider-Man 85% Robin 70% Batman 60% Hulk 55% Supergirl 50% The Flash 45% Green Lantern 45% Iron Man 35% Wonder Woman 10% Catwoman 5%

You are mild-mannered, good, strong and you love to help others. http://www.seabreezecomputers.com/superhero/pics/superman.jpg">>

http://www.seabreezecomputers.com/superhero">
Click here to take the Superhero Personality Quiz

12:15 PM - 1 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

Film is long
Current mood: moody

I'm almost done working on the film I've been stuck on for the last two and a half weeks.  I only have two more days, but that feels like an eternity.  I havn't been getting much sleep, and I'm failing school- whcih really sucks because I'm suppost to graduate this semester and I only need 1 physics class which I recently got 7% F on.  I'm sick of being in school, and the thought that I may have anouther year is unacceptable.  Oh well, I was taking the wrong class anyway.  Degrees are overated too.  It's all about who you know these days, not what degree you have, or what your grades were.  On the upside however, I shaved my head and got a new TV.  Cheeers! 

11:56 AM - 1 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Blog for blogs sake

I really have nothing to say, so leave no comments please

11:01 AM - 2 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

It's WAR!!! ... of the worlds

The Martians came from Mars and were like "die", and I was like "no", so they were like "zap", and I was like "run", and earth's micro organisms were like "sup", and Martians were like "dead".  Me and Orson Wells gave each other a high five, and went to go smoke some babes.  The End

Currently watching : Communion Release date: 20 June, 2000

9:48 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Driving to Lake Charles

Today I drove to Lake Charles and back for a job interview.  It's for a film job, wehich would be wicked awesome- but I may not get the job.  Ah well, I got to see lots of cows grazing.  And "love Shack" came on the radio about 20 freak'n times, I'm not kidding!

9:27 PM - 1 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Chris's big day

The day has arrived! The Media showcase is tommoro (Friday), and it's the first screening of my new movie- My New Best Friend Horray! I'll post it's hopefull success tomorro.

8:19 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

This made me feel pretty good

You Are 60% Normal (Really Normal)

Otherwise known as the normal amount of normal You're like most people most of the time But you've got those quirks that make you endearing You're unique, yes... but not frighteningly so!

11:56 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment