it begins!

With a 3 hour lay over on my least favorite island, Oahu *yuck*!  But yes, the exodus begins as i start my way over the desert to a thing i've never been to called Burning Man.

Re-integration.... into society... bleh.  People, you are all idiots... we must change... oooohhh shiney!

5 weeks away from my island of fruit, veggies, excessive rain, pleasant weather, ecstaic dance, lush rainforest, dread headed sexy hippies, and all around Paradise.  And yet, it feels like any other day... could be that half of Puna is going to burning man with me...

See you, all of my blessed friends soon!

9:23 PM - 5 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

one year ago

i was preparing to leave for Hawaii with a gentle fuck you to good ol' MT.  Understandably.  My love affair with MT is more like a nagging wife demanding child support, whose responsibility i can't seem to shake.  I do love my mountains however.  Its funny that i am now preparing one year later to go back to the mainland.

Looking back on my blogs i tend to be... irrational, spontanious, eccentric, dramatic, etc.... did i mention the world's gonna end?  If i say it enough times its bound to happen eventually.  I have however, and wonderfully completed almost all my goals and changes in life i was seeking a few years back.  I wound up in Hawaii (albeit randomally) i live in essance a very simplistic lifestyle with not much work and grow a fair amount of my own food (when combined with foragging).  So i guess its time to outline and have read my goals for this next stage of my life and what i am desiring to do and accomplish.

1. I want my music to be heard and appreciated.  I want to have solo songs as well as a band.  I want to progress musically and have more then enough appreciation.  I even want to play for masses and even earm money doing it!  I also want to record a CD people actually want to listen to!

2.  i want to continue to grow as much of my own food as is feasible.  I always want a large beautiful garden, and also develop the skills of forreging and hunting... yes, i want to learn how to get ALL of my own food.

3.  I want to start creating a space of love.  I want to have property that is my own where i have a little cabin, a large garden, and many many miles of nature.  I want to know the plants and start setting up a place where i want my own children to grow so when the time becomes appropriate, i will feel okay about bring a child into this world.  Also a place to live when "shit" goes down for me and my friends/tribe.

4. I don't want to work anymore.  i don't mind odd jobs, but this is such a pleasant lifestyle i don't want to give it up.  So rather then "anymore", i want to continue not working.

5.  I want to start an art/garden movement including a crop share and people's co-op.  i want to make street art, and random community gardens.  I want to light humanities hearts on fire as they storm the streets in art, song and gardens.  I want to help create the New Dawn of Mankind.

6.  i want to feel inspiring an be inspiring.

7.  Yeah, i want a boyfriend, most deffinitly not in any conventional sense though.  I've got some sexual, intimacy issues to work out in general, but the big one is dealing with general trust issues with men (you fuckers)... and right now i'd love a little help with that, especailly from somebody who can be an example on the other end of the spectrum who is prefectly matched with me to catalize each others growth, love and betterment. 

8.  I would like to no longer worry about anything.  I'd like to simply move into my channel of light and have manifestation working overtime for me.  its time i just moved into complete acceptance and flow without any striving.  Here's your moment!

9.  I would like to become clear on my life's mission and soul purpose, as well as define what i want that to be for me.

10.  i would like to redefine my generations lifestyle to be intune, harmonious, and complementary to my Mother Gaia's life and evoltuion.  I want to create a completely new way of life, evolution, and being.  And i want as much help on this as can be offered.

2:10 AM - 3 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment

Alter in the Sky

I went to the top of Mauna Kaua yesterday from sea level to the top of the 2nd largest mountain/volcano in our solar system 14,000 feet up (i actually visited Olympus Mons on Mars very vividly in one of my dreams recently, so now i've got both covered!).  I felt the quiet of the mountains, the chill, stillness and felt closer and closer to the stars and the celestial orbits.  We hiked over to the alter on the summit where people have come to pray where heaven and earth meet just as the sun was setting, and the shadow of the mountain was covering half the island.

I have always seen and felt a great many things at high altitudes.  There's something about being so close to the sky the fills me with rapture and vision.  I know where i am from, and to be so close to the celestial bodies i call home brings me one step closer to Soul's path.  The sky so close, a simple leap would send you out into the stars.

I saw the sun and the moon and they sky lift off into indigo as the celestial bodies sang and rolled over the vast nothingness.  I know no matter how destructive man is, no matter what he does he cannot ruin this.  The mountains, the sun, the stars, the moon will continue to expand and roll on wheels far after man has had his adventure.  I know i've done this many, many times before.  I've seen many suns set on the mountains of many alters on many planets.  I know i am here to preserve, cherish and hold in my arms the sacredness of being.  I was designed for this and this time, and i have prepared for many lives for this exact change.  It is my Soul's work to come from planet to planet, and do exactly what i do and be who i am.  There is no displacement, there is nothing i have not prepared for or not come here for.  And when it is time again, i will go back into the stars with and anticipation and rapture from my family.  I can feel a thousand stars of light permeate and surround me that are a relative size and distance in accordance to perception.  I prayed to the sky, and i prayed to the earth...

and then a finality.  As though my lessons and my guides on this mountain of fire in the sea have come to a conclusion, at least for now.  I do have a mission, i do have a path, and i need not worry about anything.  A new channel of light is opening up for my departure, and a new cycle is beginning.  I will be doing things soon i have never yet dreamed of doing, and my mission will once again starting in the mountains.  The fire is burning and the ashes and flying.  The phoenix is going to the desert to be reborn.

Some things just seem so much clearer on top of a mountain.

6:33 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

what we create

Our mantra, our thoughts, our visuals and our preceptions become our own self fulfilling prophecies.  Its amazing to watch, as what a person says over and over again creates that thing around them out of nothing.  It does not even have to be a significant physical change.  But if a person is so emotionally charged about something and they get the slightest incling that it might happen, their emotions spin them about in a reaction that all but garantees it happening.  How important my thoughts.  I cannot just label them as anything but my own creations, and my own self fullfilling prophecies.  Where i chant bliss, rebirth it comes.  Where i chant heartache and needyness, the universe supports me.  Ultimately, i am infinitely supported in my ability to choose, and create and am provided with nothing that has not first been uttered by my own heart.  Yet there are higher me's involved.  Every situation contains what i need to learn and progress beyond what i have thought and experianced in just this one lifetime.  Syncronicity abounds even in utter chaos.  Where i am afraid to let go, and stop controling, my fear creates chaos and i am consumed in my own self fullfilling prophecies.  By "knowing" the future, you create it.  By fearing an outcome, you leave no choice but.  Until you are utterly alone and have nothing but yourself to love and blame, you have met neither your creator nor destroyer.  If you craddle your need to control, to fix then the world will collapse in on you, so perfectly it comes to fit your call.  When you hold your hopes and dreams, the universe paves the way in the path that is perfect for what your soul needs for its development. 

Yet to craddle both, is a hard path.  Fear will tell you that there is something you can do, you can fix and change, that the path is imperfect.  Fear will never give you a reason to let it go.  You must put it down on your own.  Your dreams will never insist on you taking them up.  You are the one being support, held, and creating.  Try and pin your emotions on others, and you will constantly be their slaves.  Go into yourself, and you will find everything, and not a thing to blame or praise outside of yourself.

We must take responsibility for what we feel and think, and let go of an attachment to an outcome, a person or a place.  What are you creating?

7:57 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

2 weeks

2 weeks and counting until *gulp*, the mainland.  That place of concrete, money, and the collapsing society that is starting to realize its precarious situation.  The journey man is ready to take up the road again, but there are lingering memories of the last venture that are haunting.  Like scars, there are some lingering shadows of memory that bare a pain that i usually leave unmentioned and untouched.  Yet i know that the motivation you take into action determines the outcome, i cannot stay behind fears imaginary walls when i hear angels in the background.  There is something out there waiting for me, something amazing.  I can barely see it, but it is becoming brighter, and louder.  I am thrilled with the uncertainty of the quest.  The last journey nearly destroyed me, yet i found faith in myself.  In the darkest pit, there was no light but my own... what is the next leasson and path that is tantalizing me back into the place of buildings, sleep walkers, and debt?

I love it here in puna.  I love the rainforest.  I love knowing how to survive off of nothing but a nack to find food and hospitality.  I find comfort in the ocean, the lava and the trees.  I am basking in beauty everywhere, always.  There is something i am supposed to do, say, sings, and be.  There are unfinished desires and missions i feel my soul calling out to, and yet its words are more of birdsong then and exact philosophy.  I can follow my heart, and i can trust in the unseen, and i will follow the light to its source... shall i be waiting there to?  Again, in another form, another personality?  I am fire, always changeing, always evolving, as the pheonix burns what is it i will arise as from the ashes?

I feel something very grand and epic is coming, and only in two weeks.  I feel like there is so much unseen afoot.  I see it in people's eyes, only slightly, but it is there.  We are awaking, dawning, and being reborn. 

Are people ready?  Are they awake enough to hear?  If they can only truly hear, then they can really change.

What is that star in the horizon, and why do i feel like "it is time?"

I have only to follow my passions and bliss, in the experiance of the unknown.  But whatever the path brings, i can only abide by my own truth.  There is nothing else i have.

2:06 AM - 1 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

best date ever

Zoe, a fairy, an air mattress on the lava feilds watching falling stars, exploding lava, lightening watching Jupiter and his moons as he passes through the Milky Way.  I fuckin' love Puna!

4:54 AM - 2 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

Happy Mayan New Year!

I think it happened July 21st, we started a new yearly cycle on the Mayan Calendar, i always forget about this but am reminded and amazed when there is a certain "cycle" or energy change that abruptly happens near this date... cool!

New years resolutions.  Do something amazing, fullfilling, and prosperious with my music.
Create an anti-advertising movement that encourages a feeling of well being, connectedness and self sufficiancy amongst my fellow humans.
Start my garden movement and co-op.
Start an art movement focused on creating a New Dawn for humanity and gaia in a common garden and living space.


Ah yes, lofty aspirations, or the direction taken by a step by step, choice by choice endevor.

Thinking of the mainland... i'm giving it up, letting it go.  I can think all this things about it, try and create something out of it, but only ruin awaits clinging.  I have stated my intentions, and will be taken to the next step.  I cannot come into the journey with a map or agenda or it will destroy the path.  Depend on angels and channels of light *stretches wings*, they're stronger!  But can they move the world?  Of course they can! 

so yeah, happy Mayan New Year.

4:11 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Happy Mayan New Year!

I think it happened July 21st, we started a new yearly cycle on the Mayan Calendar, i always forget about this but am reminded and amazed when there is a certain "cycle" or energy change that abruptly happens near this date... cool!

New years resolutions.  Do something amazing, fullfilling, and prosperious with my music.
Create an anti-advertising movement that encourages a feeling of well being, connectedness and self sufficiancy amongst my fellow humans.
Start my garden movement and co-op.
Start an art movement focused on creating a New Dawn for humanity and gaia in a common garden and living space.


Ah yes, lofty aspirations, or the direction taken by a step by step, choice by choice endevor.

Thinking of the mainland... i'm giving it up, letting it go.  I can think all this things about it, try and create something out of it, but only ruin awaits clinging.  I have stated my intentions, and will be taken to the next step.  I cannot come into the journey with a map or agenda or it will destroy the path.  Depend on angels and channels of light *stretches wings*, they're stronger!  But can they move the world?  Of course they can! 

so yeah, happy Mayan New Year.

4:11 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Happy Mayan New Year!

I think it happened July 21st, we started a new yearly cycle on the Mayan Calendar, i always forget about this but am reminded and amazed when there is a certain "cycle" or energy change that abruptly happens near this date... cool!

New years resolutions.  Do something amazing, fullfilling, and prosperious with my music.
Create an anti-advertising movement that encourages a feeling of well being, connectedness and self sufficiancy amongst my fellow humans.
Start my garden movement and co-op.
Start an art movement focused on creating a New Dawn for humanity and gaia in a common garden and living space.


Ah yes, lofty aspirations, or the direction taken by a step by step, choice by choice endevor.

Thinking of the mainland... i'm giving it up, letting it go.  I can think all this things about it, try and create something out of it, but only ruin awaits clinging.  I have stated my intentions, and will be taken to the next step.  I cannot come into the journey with a map or agenda or it will destroy the path.  Depend on angels and channels of light *stretches wings*, they're stronger!  But can they move the world?  Of course they can! 

so yeah, happy Mayan New Year.

4:11 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

journey

What is it about the journey that is my life blood?  Its like if my enviorment isn't free and fairly random, requiring walks, foragging, and chance encounters i go insane.  Outwardly, its pretty unpredictable, yet it is so constant.  If i'm not working with the angels, or depending on chance (divine) syncronicity to supply me amptly and amazingly with what i need for the journey, i loose my sense of self.  I have a tendancy to demolish habit.  I need to be free, i need to be unatached.  I need to be in constant reliance on the divine or i grow bored, lazy and confused.  If you don't know where your ride is coming from, and your almost late, and suddenly you get it and get there right on time, and not only that have a conversation and make a conection that is divine, you don't appreciate it as much.  If you know how and where your food or money is coming from, suddenly the idea of it all being divinely guided gives way to a self trapped monotony.  It is not that i am lazy, or am not putting in my share.  It is that i believe that i am already putting in my share, that what excites me and what is fun is what i am divinely meant to do, just as every other animal, element, and atom is guided only buy its own nature of being exactly what it wants to be.  I don't see any animals, or stars "going to work", why should i?  I would rather rely on the journey and the random to give me abundantly what i need.  Why does mankind insist on supporting a system that all in all enslaves him to a currancy.  We have free will, of course, yes!  What's going to stop us from supporting this system until we either die of exhaustion, or fall it off the edge?  Its our choice to do what we please, i'm a bit afraid though that not many people realize they hae a choice, and are scared to think otherwise. 

I like my reality.  We go into the stores and expect to find food there.  Of course, why not?  I expect to be taken care of by angels and other beings so i may do my divine mission as well.  Of course, why not?  We keep going on in our ways pretending pollution, global warming, ozone depletion, and deforestation don't even exist.  Sure, why not?  I go on as though this way of life is on its way out quickly and that the mass public is hypnotized.  Makes sense. 

I feel like a new way of life needs to be invented, so people don't panic when the old way goes down.  I'm tired of feeling alone in doing this, so i'm opening up to others joining.  I'm sick of boxes and our reliance on them.  I want to see a new way of being open up, and i don't want to feel like the only one doing it either.

I feel like a bird that managed to get out of my cage, and just can't imagine going back in.  But i want to be with the other birds, and so its time to integrate.

Its time to change things, inspire change, be inspireing and feel inspiring.  I believe strongly in the science and art of imagery.  I'm making a career change now from dancer and farmer to angel and bard.  Its time to fill people's heads with something real, frank, and divine.  And as always, i guess, it needs to start with me overcoming my fear of being and feeling different.  On my own, but not alone...

2:07 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment